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Post by Froglet on Jun 2, 2005 5:01:02 GMT -5
Well done Shihui! You took a big step going to get some help, and opening up to someone! I really hope that you find talking to the doctor to be helpful. Good luck with the meds too. I think you are right about the depression driving you to pick... picking is most certianly a symptom of something else that is going on inside of us. Remember that the more open you are with your doctor, the more she will be able to offer help. I think it also feels good to unload onto someone... its like a big relief. Did you tell your mother about the outcome of your appointment? I hope you keep us updated on how it all goes. Wishing you the best of luck! Lara XX
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Post by ameise as guest on Jun 2, 2005 22:38:00 GMT -5
Hi Shihui -
I have been away a while... I am so sorry to read how tough the last few weeks have been.
But I'm really proud of you that you went to the doctor!
That is so brave -- I don't think I would've been so brave in highschool.
I am very glad for you.
Please keep letting us know how you are.
ameise
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Post by shihui on Jun 5, 2005 3:55:18 GMT -5
thanks lara and ameise meds don't seem to be working *shrugs*...i am still picking a lot. my face is all scabby right now and i have to go to school tmr. sigh...what a dread...people will just be staring at me, as usual.
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Post by Froglet on Jun 5, 2005 6:33:36 GMT -5
Hmmmm, Maybe these things take some time? Ive never been on meds before, so I don't know. Did the doctor say how long it would be before you saw results? Im pretty scabby too right now...had a fight with my boyfriend, and pretty much spent the whole day picking. My chest is the worst though... I so want to be able to wear a nice top for an event comin up soon, so must try harder. Hope you don't have to bad a day at school... Im off to put lots of make up on! Look forward to hearing from you again... Lara x
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Post by hoppe on Jun 6, 2005 4:53:51 GMT -5
Sweet shihui I am sorry for not writing for some time. I have been following your journal though. I was very happy to hear that you have gotten some help and even started to take medication. Don't worry about it at this stage - it might take weeks (or even months) before it really works. I hope the doctor who prescribed it to you explained that. I was wondering how you managed to get referred to a psychiatrist so quickly? Did you have to get your parents involved? I am really proud of you. I still have not managed to get a prescritpion for medication .... . I think the system here sucks so much. And as somebody pointed out to me recently, I am probably experiencing a certain degree of discrimination because I am a foreigner.... . Especially when I had the terrible tooth problems and I could not get any decent help. It makes me so sad. I really love this country - but my continuous bad experiences with the health care system here have made me wonder if it is worth it to stay here. It is today 19 months ago that I called a psychiatric unit and asked for help. Since then I have been through a ton of questionaries, interviews, and what not - but no help. No therapy and no meds. Sorry, shihui, I should not fill up your journal with my problems. I am sorry to read about that paper - I hope you have the results by now and that it went well. Wishing you all the best. hoppe
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Post by hoppe on Jun 15, 2005 14:16:30 GMT -5
Shihui, how are things going? Does the medication have any effect?
Let us know. Please.
You are in my thoughts.
hoppe
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Post by shihui as guest on Jun 17, 2005 5:56:30 GMT -5
i'm back lara, i skipped sch eventually! heh... hoppe, i was surprised myself when they got me referred immediately. my mother was with me but i did the talking myself. the first hospital i went to sucked but fortunately the second i went to was really efficient. i guess they treat depression cases quite seriously here since the number of suicide cases is quite high for a really small country like us. i'm sorry to hear they are not taking your case seriously. 19 months is a really long time! suckers. have you ever thought of returning to your country? maybe you'll find better help there. oh, i think i'll receive the results for that paper pretty long later. i really dont know if the meds are working. yes hoppe, the doctor explained that on average, they will take 2-3 wks for results to be seen. i guess i do feel better? as for my picking situation...things are average. no bad picks or much worry. i think it's because i'm having my holidays now. there's less stress from school and less stress abt how my face looks as i stay at home almost every day. we'll see if every thing maintains or improves when sch reopens. man...i missed all of you people here.
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Post by hoppe on Jun 17, 2005 16:43:45 GMT -5
Shihui,
I am glad you feel a little less stressed now that you are home from school. It is also nice that you were taken seriously when you asked for help. I really hope those meds will make a difference for you. You deserve it so much. I care a lot about you. I really want you to get better.
hoppe
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Post by hoppe on Jun 18, 2005 0:01:39 GMT -5
Shihui,
I will be away for a couple of days (4 in total) and I will probably not have internet access. Just wanted to wish you some nice days. No stress. Just peace.
hoppe
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Post by hoppe on Jun 22, 2005 6:56:10 GMT -5
Shihui
How are you?
hoppe
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Post by shihui on Jun 25, 2005 0:23:51 GMT -5
thanks for your concern, hoppe. i'm having really bad days now though.
i've been picking a lot. really, a lot. i guess it's not the meds after all. most likely it is because i was feeling more relaxed during the holidays. my face kinda cleared up then. but now i've messed it up again. school's starting this coming monday. that explains the reason why my anxiety level is pretty high now.
i look totally horrendous. almost as if i experienced a war. i guess we're always having wars with ourself. it's as if the war we have with ourselves is reflected on our faces. we always end up the ones losing. and in this war, no one wins.
i'm sorry if i sound really negative. sigh...i guess i'm really dreading school.
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Post by hoppe on Jun 25, 2005 1:14:22 GMT -5
Shihui I am glad to hear from you again. I am always worried a little when someone does not write anymore. And especially when it is you, since I care a lot about you. I am sorry the meds don't seem to help. I don't remember how long you have been taking them now. A month? Maybe their effect might still kick in?? The place they gave you the meds, did they also offer therapy in some way? It might be good for you to have someone to talk to who understands. Shihui, I believe in you. You can get better. And you will get better. hoppe
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Post by hoppe on Jun 25, 2005 1:56:59 GMT -5
Shihui, I wanted to ask you. Do you have MSN?
hoppe
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Post by ameise as guest on Jun 26, 2005 22:15:26 GMT -5
Shihui-
Thanks for your message… I hope you are feeling relatively well. I understand about school-related stress iincreasing your picking. I have been reminded lately that stress can be a major factor that causes me to pick, too -- especially when procrastinating about work I don’t want to do.
I hope you can find ways to relax even with the school work you have to do… and one day that won’t be there anymore. Perhaps you can make it a priority to make your future life’s work something that doesn’t make you stressed… I am looking for that in my future.
Best wishes,
ameise
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Post by shihui on Jul 2, 2005 12:36:51 GMT -5
hoppe, i have no idea abt the meds. maybe i have to wait longer. i dunno abt the therapy thing though. yes, i have msn ameise, i read the post in your journal. im sorry my post made you think twice abt posting a negative entry. just thought i'd give you some encouragement. don't hesitate to post anything negative! we're all here to support one another. my mother just walked in and complained abt how i always pick and leave my picked skin on the table. she said it in an uglier way of course. i know it's disgusting...i don't know why but i feel safer to leave my picked skin on the table and well, let them collect. i know it's unhygenic, gross, and everything. i'm sorry i'm just so disgusting. i'm irritated with my mother anyway, for making such comments. this isnt the first time. i know i shldnt blame her for what i am today. but it is obvious that to a certain extent, my depression and picking are caused by her. i feel guilty for thinking that way but sometimes you just have to face up to the facts. when i was young, i asked her, "why do we live?" and she told me "to suffer". she has been picking her face since i was born, and she's now obsessed with plucking her hair. somehow i think the way she views life has influenced me since young and now i'm just a cynincal idiot. i'm even more cynical then her now and my obsession with picking is worse than hers. i feel much better now. this is a wonderful place to be true to myself. thanks.
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