Reflection's Selfportrait

[hoppe]

Hi reflection

I am glad you had such a good day yesterday!
Hope things were good today too.

I was a bit surprised by your therapist's suggestion to join the weight watchers.. that sounds to me like adding another controlling instance to your life. If you understand what I mean? And you are not actually overweight, are you? I mean a few pounds to much is not the same as overweight to me.

It might be a good idea to keep the negative for therapy and try to talk about more positive things at home. I should try that too.

A smile for you:

hoppe

[Reflection as guest]

Hey Hoppe,
Last nigth was good but as i went to bed i couldnt sleep. i got up adn picked for 10 inutes in face and tehn 15 min on my arms. but thats all behind now. I have picked today too, but only once, althogh it was for 20 minutes. Is this long? i guess... but i dont feel like i did lots of harm and atleast i havnt continued thorughout the night like i usually did before.
I think its going well adn today i ahve been so happy and optimistic regardless picking adn food.
I hope everyone is as happy as me- if not ill send smiles back to you Hoppe. ;D


Reflection

[hoppe]

Hi reflection

I am sorry to hear you picked. I hope you did not continue after your last post!

I also picked last night and look pretty bad... again. I was just getting better after my last major picking session.

However, I am still trying to look more positive at things. I think every picking session I have had in the past weeks has taught me something important about myself and about why I pick. I believe that these things eventually will help me to stop.

Reflection, if you need someone to talk to, let me know and we can chat.

hoppe

[Reflection as guest]

No picking since I started ZT last night. ;D

[Reflection as guest]

Im on my second day of ZT. ;D And its going great. Montignac diet is too. Im not working today. Taking the day off and having fun, going to the movies and getting friends over.
I feel so much better its amazing.
So happy.
Reflection

[reflection as guest]

im on my 3 rd day of zt

[hoppe as guest]

Hi reflection

I am really sorry you had such a tough day. I wish I could have chatted with you earlier today, when you needed help - but I did not see your post before now. I hope you are feeling better. And no matter how bad things were today, remember to be proud of yourself for the three days you managed to not pick! You can do that again!

I am having a hard time too. My mother is still here. And I have picked too. Pretended to take a nap but picked instead..... . Well. I look bad.

Reflection, I am thinking of you. Remember, tomorrow is a new day. Right now things might look or feel really bad, but in one-two days they will be better again!

hoppe

[Reflection as guest]

picked when i got up
picked after breakfast
and now it hurts
im going to therapy today.
I dont do what she says and i feel lost.

[Reflection as guest]

Here are lyrics for a song I like. I wanted to post them because it focuses about living today. Hope u like it.



yesterday it seemed
life was just a dream
a bad dream
you watch them all day long
feel you don't belong but you're wrong

life is good today
had a pretty boy look your way
don't worry Adelaide
life is good today
had a pretty boy look your way
don't worry Adelaide
Adelaide

see the other girl
strand a perfect pearl
and one day the sun will shine upon your face and you will find
someone beautiful

life is good today
had a pretty boy look your way
don't worry Adelaide
life is good today
had a pretty boy look your way
don't worry Adelaide
Adelaide

and one day the sun will shine upon your face and you will find
you're beautiful

life is good today
had a pretty boy look your way
don't worry Adelaide
life is good today
had a pretty boy look your way
don't worry Adelaide

Adelaide
Thomas Dybdahl

[Reflection as guest]

My face is gettting worse and worse today and Im getting today is just a dream. I wanna lie down today... do nothing.. just cry and forget life for a second.

[Reflection as guest]

I was just at therapy and we have decided not to do the tought journal.. and that makes me more relaxed and motivated.
From now on this is what I will do:
1. keep the mirror covered all the time and lock rooms to parent's main mirror.
2. Short goals. If I dont pick for three days I will get highlights. That means no picking on Tuesad, Wednesday and Thurday. I have made an appointment for Saturday and am determined that I will be able to complete this.


It often feels like I am going to give up, but I wont!
Reflection

[Reflection as guest]

Life is so valuable. You dont realise it untill u have a death date.
I do not have a life limit now. I am young but the ones i love arent always.
There is so much I want to do with him, so much i want to say.
I love my grandfather. I gotta be good and help my mom and get as much time with him as possible when I visit him. I will make the focus on him and help my mom not focus on my problem. I wanna help her stay strong. This is NOT about me now.
We huged and cried.

Relflection

[Reflection as guest]

'Fuck this' is all i wanna say. Excuse me for the language but I just donnu wat to do.
I know I will manage the 3 days. its only 3 days... but the thing is that im so stupid. tonigh i picked again and my excuse was that the 3 day goal starts tomorro.
hmmm..
anyway i go down to parents they need me.. there is no point trying to do bio at this time.
Tonight i cover the mirrors.
again.
Reflection

[hoppe]

Hi reflection

I have been thinking about you. I hope you are doing better today! I can see that despite your small set-backs, you still have so much will to keep fighting. Please, don't give up! It might take some more time, but I believe you will make it. Right now you have a lot of stress with school and your family - but that will get better! And remember, you are a sweet and valuable girl. Forgive yourself if you pick a little - you are doing the best you can, and with time, you will get where you want to.

I picked some last night, but not much. A little annoying, since I had promised myself a ZT-evening, but I can handle it. Right now I am mostly worried about the snowstorm we have here... hope I can get to work (and more importantly, to therapy).

hoppe

[reflection as guest]

Hi Hoppe,
Im always so happy when I open the board and see a reply. ļ
Im glad you said I have will because at times it doesn¡¦t feel like I have any. My therapist suggested that maybe picking wasn¡¦t the most important priority in my life. It isn¡¦t I must admit because I also want to do well in school and weight wise. School comes first. Well I cant really decide what comes first or second¡K etc¡K its all connected I think. I gotta get over with this.. it¡¦s a constant struggle..and in the end it will be gone. Im at school right now and soon I will be going home. All will be good the tests at school went ok.
Im sad about grandpa but his way of living is inspiring and thinking about him makes me think of all the good times.
Anyway Im on my first day of ZT. The goal is 3 days now. I want the highlight I have ordered an appointment and I WILL be able to do this. I will be stable and supportive at home. This will be good.
I hope u r ok too and that u haven¡¦t picked too much. I feel talking like this helps a lot. I hope it does for u too still.
Good luck
reflection