|
|
Post by girl1818 on Jun 6, 2004 13:17:09 GMT -5
hey reflection, I would be in on being your partner, i've been thinking about looking for someone to do it with as well. I'm not really sure how it would work either, i guess we would post on here or maybe talk on IM? Let me know...i haven't picked yet today so today would be a great day to start  |
|
|
|
Post by Margaret on Jun 7, 2004 21:26:01 GMT -5
Hey..I want to join you guys! Is that ok??
I'll answer your questions:
I can't even remember when it started, but thankfully I've always had good skin, so I had no pimples or blackheads to pick on. It got worse when I moved to Australia to study, leaving my family and friends in Norway. Suddenly my skin started to get worse..but I didn't realise this was because I actually made it bad. I didn't think it was a problem. Then after a year and a half I went back to Norway, with an eating disorder and major depressive disorder, I needed a year off! My mum started to notice that my skin was worse and told me not to pick. I still didn't think much of it. After a year I went back to Australia to finish my study, and that year it got really bad, I went home for christmas, (last year) and my mum kept telling me off, but I kept on doing it. In february this year I came back to Australia, and I started realising I actually couldn't control it, I tried to stop, but I just couldn't. Then I started doing some reserach and discovered it was actually a disorder, and then I found this site..and here I am!
I've told my mum and my bestfriend, and I recently went to my psychiatrist..I saw him for my eating disorder, and I told him about my skin picking, and 16.june we're starting Habit Reversal Therapy!
It affects my life in the way that I ALWAYS have to cover everything up with make up and always have to look myself in the mirror, ensuring that it doesn't look too bad. I'm convinced that people around me look at my skin and thinks it's terrible and think that I would be pretty if I didn't have such bad skin.
How about you guys??
By the way, I'm 22, what about you?
|
|
|
|
Post by Mags on Jun 8, 2004 2:58:11 GMT -5
Where do you live now?
So, how did you get out of the eating disorder yourself? Did you work through everything that caused it? Cause maybe some of the issues are still bothering you?
I started therapy for my eating disorder in Norway, and my psychiatrist helped me so much, we worked through everything that caused my problem and I become aware of how I could help myself. I don't think I could have gotten better without my psychiatrist, she opened my eyes, and helped me get the strength to get better. I started seeing a psychiatrist here in Australia because I got depression last year, and I started binge-eating. That's the doctor I see now, I'm pretty much recovered from the eating disorder, although some times it tends to come back, but now I'm stronger to fight it off, and I know that I never want to go back there. That was such a hell, NEVER AGAIN!
When I told my psychiatrist that I was a compulsive skin picker, he didn't laugh..I was scared he would! He actually specialises in psychodermatology, the connenction between the mind and skin!! I'm so lucky I have him! We haven't started the therapy yet, we start on 16.june, then I'll probably need 3 sessions until it's complete.
Basically Habit Reversal Therapy is about replacing the bad habit, the skin picking, with a less harmful habit. I've read a bit about it, you can search about stuff on the net, just type in habit reversal therapy. It's hard to explain what it does, I don't really know, but I'll let you know after I see Dr. Long on 16.june.
I hate when people tell me off for picking, and say: You've got such good skin, stop messing it up! It makes me feel even uglier and weirder when people comment on it!
I haven't stopped picking..nothing major though, I just don't feel strong enough to stop and I don't want to fail everytime I try, It gets me more depressed, I feel even weaker then!
What sort of eating disorder did you have?
I started of with anorexia, then it developed into bulimia, although I didn't throw up often, I just starved myself and exercised a LOT after each binge!I started feeling better after therapy, and the starvation and compensation for my binges stopped....but the binges continued, so it developed into kind of binge eating disorder.
I'm heaps better, although I still binge sometimes, when I'm really down and hate myself. it's an escape and a comfort!
Hope you're doing ok!
I don't know what the time difference is where you are, but here in Adelaide it's 5.40pm now.
Margaret
|
|
|
|
Post by Mags on Jun 8, 2004 17:09:24 GMT -5
Hey! It's a new day, and I feel happy. I've decided that I'm NOT gonna pick today, I just want my skin to heal! So today it's gonna be a hard day, I'll come back to you tonight! I'm not an expert, but just gaining weight after having an eating disorder does not mean it's gone, you need to analyse how your eating disorder developed and how it made you feel. And with this comfort eating, is it binge eating? By the way, I'm studying Nutrition & Dietetics, I'm gonna be a nutritionist after this year ;D But I have to do a year clinical before I can be a dietitian. So if the weight gain is bothering you, we could work on it if you want? Ha en flott dag!! Og prøv å smile! Margaret |
|
|
|
Post by girl1818 on Jun 9, 2004 16:55:55 GMT -5
hey girls...sorry i havent been on...my boyfriend has been staying @ my house for the past few days and he doesnt know about my problem so i've been in website withdrawl  i'm 19, and have had this problem for as long as i can remember. it wasn't always to the extreme that it is now, but i also now how to take better care of it now (ex. bandaids and neosporin and other junk). i've never had bad skin, i've just always created it i guess. i mean i will pop the tiniest, little pimple...and make it so much more noticeable by doing so. So i started clean on monday, and went the entire day. then last night i had a breakdown...not toooo bad, just some popping...my problem is mainly with my arms, sometimes my face. My mom knows about it, and my dad knows, but doesnt understand that it makes me depressed. he picked A LOT when he was younger too...but he doesnt so much anymore and all of his scars are faded (good news girls) but since he doesnt understnad how upset i am, my mom is really the only person i talk to about it. i have a great boyfriend, and best friend but am scared to tell either of them. I always wonder if theyve noticed but just dont say anything since i live with my best friend @ school...she has to have seen. my mom tells me that its not as bad as i think, but i feel like its horrible!!!! i refuse to wear short sleeves or tank tops because i feel so weird. I want to tell my boyfriend so bad because i think that he would help me, but i feel so ugly when i look @ my arms, and i dont want to put attention on it. Now that i know that this is an actualy problem though, i am getting closer to telling him (maybe  ) Reflection...dont worry about the picking...tomorrow is a new day and exams are STREEEESSSSFFFULLL! just be firm...and DONT look @ your skin...iknow i know, easy to say, incredibly hard to do.if you have to, slather it will soemthing greasy like neosporin or baby oil gel (only if your skin doesnt break out from it though) Margaret...i'm so glad that you read the post and decided to join too...props to reflection for starting the thread. hopefully ill talk to you two soon |
|
|
|
Post by Margaret on Jun 9, 2004 17:23:11 GMT -5
Hey guys!!
Well...I couldn't control myself last nite...I had to pick some scabs, I didn't bleed or anything, so they were nearly healed..hope that makes it better! Scabs are SO ugly, I couldn't even cover them with make up! I didn't pick new ones or make any damage, so I think I did pretty good! ;D
Girl1818, I think you should print out an article on compulsive skin picking and get your best friend and boyfriend to read it, hiding the problem from them just makes it harder on you. They won't understand, but at least they'll know, and you don't have to hide it. And they can be there for support!
I told my best friend, she is compulsive obsessive in other ways, she still doesn't understand the full extent of the problem, but she's there if I want to talk, and by knowing at least she won't tell me to just stop picking!
By the way, where are you from?
Reflection, good to hear that your weight is stable, weight gain can be VERY hard! Binge eating is when you get an urge to eat, and it's so strong and you cannot control it, and you really need FOOD, lots of food! And you don't stop eating until you're SO sick that you cannot fit one small piece in!
You have to realise that the skin picking is something you cannot control, and we have to learn how we can control it, but until then, accept it as an addiction, and don't beat yourself up everytime you fail, that will just make you even more depressed. You are NOT ruining your family, they worry about you, but they probably realise you have a problem and they just don't know how to handle it! You cannot blame them, it's a difficult disorder to understand! Don't push yourself to get better, it will come in time, you just have to start observing the skin picking and learn more about it. There is lots of great articles on the net, just type in either: compulsive skin picking, impulse control disorder, acne exoriee, neurotic exorication, psychodermatology, compulsive obsessive disorder.
Well, again it's a new day, not setting any goals for the day, I don't want to disappoint myself! I'm going to the doctor to get the referral for my habit reversal therapy, and then it's back to study. I've got 3 exams, nutritional biochemistry, food studies and nutrition & dietetics. I'm scared!
My thoughts are with you guys!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Margaret on Jun 10, 2004 17:44:32 GMT -5
I HATE the scares I've caused myself, I've got brown spots everywhere on my face, and it makes me depressed! I try not to worry about it, but it's hard. Although, it's better to have scares than to have red sores and scabs! So when I'm recovered from this awful disorder, I'm gonna treat myself to laser treatment, it has shown great results! I'll have to start earning some good money first though..!
Well, today is a new day again, we'll see what it brings!
Talk soon guys!
|
|
|
|
Post by shutter on Jun 11, 2004 8:50:23 GMT -5
Hello Girls,
I'm new, just found the site. I've been reading some posts and it's as if I wrote them myself. I have scars, some of them are deep. I have had 2 lazer treatments to help but I had to stop and start the lazer treatments for active acne which has helped already. The lazer treatment for the scars will make the top layer of your skin peel off. I made every little zit show up (when I looked closely of course) so, I had a field day every time I had a treatment and cause more scars. That's when I decided to go with the active acne treatment because I was wasting my money. It was very costly but when I compared it to all the zit creams and everything I have used for the last 15 years it did'nt seem so expensive.
I would like to be a part of you group, I need help and well and I don't know anyone with the problem and that knows exactly how I feel. I noticed one post said they had researced and found out it is a disorder. I found out it was call body dysmorfic disorder, what did you find out? Shutter
|
|
|
|
Post by Girl1818 on Jun 11, 2004 9:54:53 GMT -5
hey shutter, its great that you join us! i was in the same position as you just about a month ago...i never realized this was a REAL problem, i definitely just thought that i was weird and no one else did this. How much did the laser treatments cost? and where is your picking @ it's worst? I've been really contemplating getting the laser treatment for my arms...but i've reserched it on the internet, and a lot of people say that it's bad for us 'pickers' since it flakes off and creates scabs which are bad for us to see... Mags and Reflection...Thanks so much for the encouragement...my boyfriend left this morning, and i still havent been able to get the courage to tell him. I'm so sick of wearing long sleeves to bed though!!!! I hope that both of you are doing wonderful...I went pick free for the whole day yesterday, and am on my way to making it day two today. I broke down the night before yesterday though and felt like absolute crap.  i was so mad at myself...but i covered them up with bandaids and prayed for the best. stay strong everyone! |
|
|
|
Post by shutter on Jun 11, 2004 18:32:15 GMT -5
Hey Girl1818,
The lazer treatment for the active acne was $200 per treatment. You have to have 4 treatments in all, 2 one week and 2 the next. I had a coupon for the last treatment for 50% off so that one was $100.00. This is a new business in my are so some treatments are a introductory price. For the scars, the lazer treatment is normally $200 but I have done it twice for $100 and them I had to just do the active acne treatment because I was wasting my money. I don't pick anywhere else but my face. I don't have the urge and I don't have anything to pick at anywhere else. As for my face if I would quit picking I would'nt have anything to pick at either. I do have some mild acne and that causes my picking spells. I am a 29 year old mother of 2 boys so stress seems to be one reason. Picking is the only place I can totally relax as funny as it sounds the zone is a very calming place until I pull back from the mirror and see what I have done. What about you?
|
|
|
|
Post by girl1818 on Jun 11, 2004 19:19:15 GMT -5
shutter, i know exactly what you mean...when i am picking my arms, it makes me forget about everything else. But when i'm done, i just want to break down and cry. My stepdad is a complete jerk and alcoholic, and has been causing problems with my mom for the past 15 yrs. I havent talked to him really for the past two years sicne there was a big blowout. he's caused my mom to have many stress related problems, and i know now that he is part of the reason why i pick. Anyway, there was a big blowout tonight in which me, my mom and my sister all told him to leave (for about the 100th time)...things are really really bad. So right now, im just trying to stay away from my arms!!!!! I know if i look @ them i will start to look for stuff to pick. I'm 19, and usually live @ college, but since it's the summer i'm home...i dont know when im more stressed out - when im home because i see everything that happens - or when im away because i worry about everything that happens. I went to the store today to buy facewash and cocoa butter, and saw a home micodermabrasion kit...i'm gonna try it out I hope that it works...my mom says that my scars really aren't that bad, and that she barely notices them...but i notice them and thats all that matters. AND shes just so used to seeing them that they dont surprise her anymore. i'm still pick free today, so by the time i go to sleep it will be two days...my longest time span yet. i have a lot of things coming up that i need to be able to wear summer clothes for (tank tops  ) so i really need to be focused. scars cover pretty much my whole arms...when i was younger, even in high school, it used to just be in certain spots. but since i went to college two years ago, the stress of school made it worse, and now i have picked almost everywhere at least once. When you got your lazer treaments, did you go to a dermatologist first? if you did, what did they say about the problem...i've been thinkging about going to one for about a year, but my mom thinks that i should go see a therapist first before she pays for a treatment of any kind (since if its a mental problem, i might pick after the treatment anyway.) Well, sorry if i babbled...im trying to waste time and divert my attention from picking  hope youre doing good...dont let stress get to you...trying breathing deep for a few seconds instead...or i dont know if you read the one post, but someone suggested using a massager on yourself in order to divert your attention from picking. sounds like a good stress reliever to me ps Mags and reflection...i hope that both of you are doing well and not picking!! |
|
|
|
Post by girl1818 on Jun 11, 2004 19:22:45 GMT -5
shutter,
sorry, i forgot to ask you - if you dont mind...what is your ethnicity? on research ive done about lazer treatments...it said that its not always good for italian or darkskinned people. I am 50% italian and have olive skin so that worried me a little...just wondered if you knew anything about that
|
|
|
|
Post by shutter on Jun 12, 2004 7:42:20 GMT -5
Good Morning Girl1818,
I have not heard anything about that, I'm blonde with fair skin. I have been to a dermatologist and I was put on acutane that only helped with the cystic ance that I had. I can't complain a least they are gone but I still have mild acne. I just skiped going to the doctor I know my skin better than he does. I had my last treatment for the active acne last week and it takes up to 2 months for the all the bacteria to go away.
Sorry about your family problems it sounds better at college. It's good that you support your mother. Does she want him to leave as well? My kids are good it just that the same old messes the same old laundry the same crap I have to put up with day after day gets to me. My husband is usually gone to work and has lots of hobbies so he gone alot. I know it's unfair. Anyway I hope you day goes well and pick free. I am a wedding photographer and there is a wedding I have to get ready for so I will write you later. Be strong and I'll be strong with you!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Margaret on Jun 12, 2004 18:28:02 GMT -5
Woo hoo, we're on our second page of messages! We're so good!!
Sorry that I haven't posted in a while, I felt like I didn't have anything to contribute.
Girl1818, I think laster treatment is something we should forward to when we're over this bloody disorder. It's no point having it if we're gonna keep on messing up our face, it can be our present for becoming pick free! So, start saving, cause it's gonna cost lots!
Shutter, excellent you're joining us! The more the better!!
Anyway, I haven't managed to stay away from my face..thank god for make up!! But it's not too bad actually, I've been worse. I think going into this support board reduces my skin picking!
Well, do you guys have any ideas what habit we can use to replace the skin picking?? That's how habit reversal works, you start practising a new habit instead on the skin picking!
Take care guys, don't let life get you down, we will get through this!
|
|
|
|
Post by girl1818 on Jun 12, 2004 19:47:55 GMT -5
hey girls... so right now i just had one of those frustrated moments...i havent picked in 3 days now...(well there has been a few little picks yesterday and today...but nothing bad so i dont count them) and i know that must sound good...but heres where the frustrating part comes in. You know how your skin always looks better in some light than in other kinds of light? For me...my arms always look better in the bright sun, or in my bathroom. Well...they look their worst around 8:00 at night when dusk is setting in...you know, its not light out anymore, but its not completely dark. at this time, my arms look completely horrendous Well i was just outside, and i caught a glimpse of my arms...and  ugh they look horrible. no scabs now...just alllll scars, but they look almost just as bad. And i have these two huge white scars from scabs that healed a few weeks ago...they stick out and make the rest of the scabs look soooo much worse. Sorry, i know this post wasnt very inspiring, but i just had to get it off my chest before i went into a stage of despair in which i think that my arms will never look normal so i might as well pick anyway...thanks for listening |
|
) 
i was so mad at myself...but i covered them up with bandaids and prayed for the best.
) so i really need to be focused. scars cover pretty much my whole arms...when i was younger, even in high school, it used to just be in certain spots. but since i went to college two years ago, the stress of school made it worse, and now i have picked almost everywhere at least once.
hope youre doing good...dont let stress get to you...trying breathing deep for a few seconds instead...or i dont know if you read the one post, but someone suggested using a massager on yourself in order to divert your attention from picking. sounds like a good stress reliever to me
ugh they look horrible. no scabs now...just alllll scars, but they look almost just as bad. And i have these two huge white scars from scabs that healed a few weeks ago...they stick out and make the rest of the scabs look soooo much worse.