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Post by margret on Jun 19, 2004 19:30:57 GMT -5
Hi guys,
I so glad I found a message board to post on each day. It was good day for me. I didn't pick. I think it is because I had done enough picking a couple of days ago that I left red open sores on my face. Now they have neosporin on them. I was so mad at myself because my face had cleared up pretty and the past month was pretty good for me.
But that is why I think that unless we learn to replace our behavior with another and do it consistently then it always likely to come back to haunt us. I have learned that I need to always wear gloves regardless of wether I "feel" like it or not. And the most important thing is to study outside the house, where I'm likely to spend quality time studying, then I can come home and take it easy when I am less stressed.
I hope you guys are doing well. I hope you have gained insight and or gained something new from my battle with picking at my face.
Have a good day all of you
princessdrp
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Post by Margaret on Jun 20, 2004 0:44:17 GMT -5
I've had a setback. all this stress with exams make me pick so much more! I was trying to heal my face, but the scabs were looking so ugly, and I was trying to fix them up, and every time I made them worse, and then of course I found some new pimples to pick on as well. Well, it doesn't look too good, and these are hard sores to hide with makeup, it doesn't look too good. So I'm not very happy at the moment!! But anyway, I'll start again, we learn from our mistakes..isn't that what they say?? I hope so! So again, a new start for me, I hope it goes better this time! Girl1818, I'm lucky because I mainly only pick on my face, so I don't have scars anywhere else. Once in a while I'll pick on my chest, but I've learnt to avoid that because it becomes a mess everytime! But I wish I picked on other places than my face, because at least I could hide it. Now everyone can se what I've done to myself. I make sure I always wear my hair down because it covers some of my sores. It's annoying, I prefer to have it up! Princessdrp, I do think habit reversal is one of the things we have to learn to get rid of this habit. My psychiatrist says it's not good to just replace one habit with another, but forming a habit that is exactly the opposite to the skin picking, and by performing this habit the part of the brain that's resposible for habits, the basal ganglia, gets reprogrammed and the skin picking disappeares! I've read a fair bit on it, they can't really explain how it works and what exactely happens in the brain, but the stimulation triggers something in the brain so that the urge to pick doesn't come anymore. pretty interesting! I'm starting the therapy after my exams. But in my case, the reason for picking is mainly psychological, so I have to work on that first! Anyway guys, another fresh start to all of us, eventually we'll make it!  |
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Post by playinwitfire on Jun 20, 2004 15:32:08 GMT -5
Hey, im being an addition to your cool lil thing, girl 1818 i know exactly where your coming from. When i look at my scars on my arms *lookng right now they are gross* and on my back, face, chest theyre everywhere and well it does seem completely pointless tryin to sotp caus it seems theres not much you can do now you've gone so far..but thinking about it i don't really want mine getting any worse, im trying to let them heal and fade. Ive got huge brown spots theyre so uglyand so VISIBLE!!  Im trying combined methods to help me stop, spending money on pigmentation reduction..i will NOT defeat myself any more!!the support board accountability thing..works!  , and ive also found myself a counsellor trying to find an actual therapist now ive discovered this has a name..i never knew i found its CPD n i was like omigosh it HAS a name...raaar i hate you evil CPD see you can take it out on something now... Love y'all Jess -x- |
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Post by Margaret on Jun 20, 2004 17:30:23 GMT -5
REFLECTION!! Where are you?  You started this thing, so you better stick with it!  Miss you! Come back soon! |
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Post by Margaret on Jun 20, 2004 17:36:10 GMT -5
playinwitfire, the support here is one of the best things in the process of recovery. It helps to just post something, even though it's bad news or victory! So just keep reading our posts and keep posting, it helps! Well anyway, I was so angry with myself for making my face worse when it was looking better, and because I was so stressed with exams, I actually had a massive binge last night! Going back to my old ways hey! Just couldn't cope, binging was like a punishment for picking, I was like "you've been so stupid, just eat" It didn't help of course, but I;m not too fussed about it, today is a new day, I'll try to let my face heal, and I have to concentrate on my exams..it's so hard with so much stuff going on in my head! Talk soon  |
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Post by girl1818 on Jun 20, 2004 19:06:05 GMT -5
Shutter and Reflection...where did you guys go?? on a happier note, i'm glad that people keep joining our group...it makes me happy that we all have somewhere to turn to in order to get all of our frustrations out!! Playinwitfire...I have read some of your posts on other boards, and i completely understand all of your frustrations...I would like to know more about the pigmenting process thing that you're goin through if you could tell me...I have brown spots all over my arms and then i also have white scars.  I think that you said ure lookin forward to planning stuff for your prom. If thats right...thats an awesome goal to work for. My junior and senior years of high school, i worked toward making my arms look good for the prom and it worked sooo good. I went tanning for a month before each prom, and barely picked...a bonus is that you will get your arms looking good right in time for summer I almost wish that i had the prom to look forward to again cause it really did motivate me...i have formals and stuff @ college for my sorority, but for some reason, they dont motivate me the same. Margaret...I hope that you are doing better i know its only been about 2 hours since you posted, but i hate to see that you feel so horrible. I had a similar breakdown yesterday...but with picking...no one was home, and i was bored and a little stressed, so i went to TOWN on my arms. UGH. It's like, i went with so minimal picking for a week, and then i ruin it in ONE hour. I cried to my mom about it last night, and she made me rub aloe on it (the real plant, not the bottled kind). Have you ever tried aloe on your face? It seems to have helped me...i also had neosporin on it before that though. As far as the binging goes...just remember the reason WHY you are doing it, and try to be as strong as you can. Also, I don't know how religious either of you girls are, but praying has been giving me a lot of strength and im pretty sure that some healing is coming from it...after all, my arms looked like hell last night and now they aren't red and splotchy today anymore...just a little beat up looking. I don't know if either of you have AOL Instant messenger, but i would be up to emailing either of you my screen name if you'd like...at least this way we could maybe talk right when the attack is going to happen, and divert each other's attention. Let me know |
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Post by Margaret on Jun 20, 2004 21:22:24 GMT -5
Girl1818, thanks for the encouragement! It already feels better when people understand I'm still on the net doing some research for my exam, so of course I have to come here and check! I use msn instant messenger, I think you should download it and start using it! I can send you pictures through it as well! That way you can get a face to the name, that way it feels more real I reckon! My scars are healing, and I thing I can cover them pretty well with make up, it's not TOO bad actually, I've done worse damage in the past, I keep on getting better! I've never tried aloe vera, I should get it, I might go to the store in my study-break! My plan for the rest of the day (help to put it down) 1.Have a shower 2.Have lunch 3.Study for a few hours 4.Go to shops 5.Study until 5 6.gym 7.Eat and study 8.Bedtime Ok, now I have to stick with it! I hope your arms are healing, it's so frustrating, but eventually we'll stop this awful habit! Talk soon |
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Post by playinwitfire on Jun 21, 2004 6:34:38 GMT -5
hi girlies...lol i have just written the BIGGEST ESSAY on 'it just gets worse' if you have a comfortable seat lol you might want to read it caus it pretty much sums me up. But after having just written it i do feel a lot clear headed i have to say..and my prom is in like 2 weeks eeek ;D!!!ii!! girl 1818-pigmentation eurgh i hate that word kill it! my back is the worst at the top there is like no healthy skin its all damaged scar tissue..and on my forehead and cheeks its pretty bad, ive always picked my arms and the scars were just fading BUT THEN i started hacking away at it with those killer nails of mine..which i have now cut off thankfully..and its just red and sore again..i find if i pick for a few weeks it will fade..then pick for a couple more..it will fade..but after a while you get to stage where the brown spots just STAYand im like omg omg theyre not going..but i just cant stop! i have some scars that are white with a brown ring around them they just make me look like an alien out of startreck..not that i ever watched it lol..maybe a few episodes..anyhoooo..yea so i dont know if you've read my post about AHA but its the treatment im having which I'm sure would be great for you..my pigmentation spots are pretty frequent al over my upper body and pretty severe..but AHA is alpha hyrdoxy acids and it uses enzymes to gently remove scar tiissue and speed cell turnover so you heal quicker with healthy skin..it makes you go all glowy! im having it on my face at the moment because im still picking my arms loads and my chest and back..but when i get that under control i will have AHA there too. woah ive written another essay..dont realise how time goes by !! hope that helped you Jess -x- |
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Post by playinwitfire on Jun 21, 2004 6:48:36 GMT -5
Margaret-hope you stick with your routine..good idea it leaves no space for picking! I admire your strength well done for making progress its good to see positive comments It feels better when you realise you can use less and less makeup to cover up..i have started using tinted moisturiser it feels much more natural than concealer or foundation and it shortens your time in front of the mirror too. in fact i put that on without lookin and just use a mirror for my eye makup and make sure my hands aren't free and as soon as they are im like RIGHT THEN time to have BREAKFAST...works! girl1818-when do pick your arms the most? I find i do it most when im just sitting down somewhere doing nothing or watching tv or a movie is the worst time! i often find eating helps keep the temptation down caus im bringing my fingers to my mouth as oppose to my skin lol..what works for you? obviously typing posts is a really huge help caus all day im like  so its a great relief to write stuff to people who want to know what you have to say..its a much better and more successful mechanism of relief than picking! By the way i use msn messenger and im on it quite a lot..my email is somewhere in this thread i think...glad to see you two are keeping it up Lataz x |
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Post by Margaret on Jun 21, 2004 17:50:04 GMT -5
My email is maggie_x100@hotmail.com. Include me in your contacts! We should all use msm messenger, it's so good! Didn't pick anymore yesterday, my scabs were pretty bad, and when I was covering them up to go to the gym, I nearly gave up and wanted to stay home because it looked so bad..but then I decided to not let this disorder control my life, I'M in control, so I tried covering it up again, and then I went to the gym and felt much better! I think the key to surviving this thing is to try and not focus on the negatives and try to concentrate on the positives. Positive thinking is the key!! Anyway, have to go, I've got an exam today..scary scary scary! But actually not too stressed, I'm SOO smart so it will be a piece of cake.... ;D Take care guys |
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Post by girl1818 on Jun 21, 2004 21:44:58 GMT -5
Hey girls... Well, i've been doing pretty good...two days-no pick. I've been rubbing Aloe on my arms at least once a day, and i must say, they are improving. My mom thinks that they look A LOT better, but i dont know about that. all i know is that they could look a looot worse. I got this new self tanner that i'm gonna try to use on them...but i've been using a microdermabrasion kit @ home, and i dont know how that will work with the self tanner. So, we'll see... I hope that you are all doing good, and are being happy! margaret...hope that your exam was a success...i'm sure it was! talk to you all later |
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Post by Margaret on Jun 22, 2004 17:39:48 GMT -5
Good on you girl1818, it makes me happy you're doing better! Keep on going, one day at the time! My exam went ok, only 2 more left! I still pick, I'm accepting it at the moment, because of exams, but I'll start working on myself after exams are over! Take care |
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Post by playinwitfire on Jun 23, 2004 14:35:14 GMT -5
Hey..confession to make..WAS no pick for 5 whole days but yesterday the urge started setting in again and today has just been a nightmare..ive been picking away old scabs leaving holes its awful just wen i thought my scars were nearly going with my treatment..this really is a slap in the face..and a slap on my hands i should think  what makes it worse is that im going to a partay on saturday..and an old flame will be in attendance...a v v v fit old flame with whom i had messy breakup last year cos i came to a conclusion about distance...he was putting my interests first and then i couldn't handle being apart after the breakup and because i was so wrapped up in him i threw it ALL in his direction accusing him of having a thing with a girl..who he did subsequently go out with..and there were wrong impressions flying around n..god i would give up the world to have him back gaaar really dont wana b face to face with him hes part of my past..eeek eek eek n this girl specimen who replaced me has got the most beautiful skin and bountious confidence..then again i can have the confidence if i hold my head high and keep the outfit sleek..keep the makeup neat yea i think i can handle it..if i stop picking right this minute il have time to heal...  i hope think im gettin anxious bout the party..therefore im picking..solution dont worry bout the partay lok forward to making your entrance  ..your there for your m8z not HIM ritey ho yes..ok rite..gdnite!! im going to bed RIGHT NOW my face needs to sleep Love n Hugs x x x x x |
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Post by Margaret on Jun 23, 2004 17:43:22 GMT -5
Don't worry about it, some good makeup will cover up the damage, remember it's one step back but 2 steps forward! At least you know why you picked, and that's really good. One day, when you're scared and anxious, you'll have different and better ways of dealing with it, in the meantime, just accept the skin picking as a coping mechanism! Don't bet yourself up over it, you're only human! I'm doing much better, letting my face heal, not picking on new pimples and not analysing my skin. One step at the time! Stay strong! |
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Post by playinwitfire on Jun 24, 2004 6:26:23 GMT -5
Thanks Margaret..doing well already..ive got a new plan..!! At night..in the bathroom im just lighting two candles its much more relaxing for one thing and makes my face look better and less pickworthy in soft light..it worked yesterday n i was like uh yay! ;D in the mornings well...not picking the night before gives me extra strength in the morning...and also sumtimes il come in here before i have a wash...wooh progress!! Today is my day one but its not just any day one its like day 1 number 100 if u get me?! i think on each day '1' you get more determined..! lets see if i can beat 5 days *i know i can do it* Luv ya every 1 of u! keep it up u can if i can x x x x x x |
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, and ive also found myself a counsellor trying to find an actual therapist now ive discovered this has a name..i never knew i found its CPD n i was like omigosh it HAS a name...raaar i hate you evil CPD see you can take it out on something now...
I think that you said ure lookin forward to planning stuff for your prom. If thats right...thats an awesome goal to work for. My junior and senior years of high school, i worked toward making my arms look good for the prom and it worked sooo good. I went tanning for a month before each prom, and barely picked...a bonus is that you will get your arms looking good right in time for summer 
so its a great relief to write stuff to people who want to know what you have to say..its a much better and more successful mechanism of relief than picking!
what makes it worse is that im going to a partay on saturday..and an old flame will be in attendance...a v v v fit old flame with whom i had messy breakup last year cos i came to a conclusion about distance...he was putting my interests first and then i couldn't handle being apart after the breakup and because i was so wrapped up in him i threw it ALL in his direction accusing him of having a thing with a girl..who he did subsequently go out with..and there were wrong impressions flying around n..god i would give up the world to have him back gaaar really dont wana b face to face with him hes part of my past..eeek eek eek n this girl specimen who replaced me has got the most beautiful skin and bountious confidence..then again i can have the confidence if i hold my head high and keep the outfit sleek..keep the makeup neat yea i think i can handle it..if i stop picking right this minute il have time to heal... 
i hope
..your there for your m8z not HIM ritey ho yes..ok rite..gdnite!! im going to bed RIGHT NOW my face needs to sleep