21 days to break a habit

[seabreeze]

Hi Everyone, I am officially on DAY 7/1 WEEK! HURRAY!!! This is a truly amazing accomplishment for me and I owe much of it to the supportive network I have found on this site. I am sure I will reach the goal of 21 days now because I have won the battle over my own MIND. I deserve to have the best in my life, as everyone should and I am 100% committed to giving that to myself.

What have I changed to make this happen? Try and do something to make yourself happy every day. Get interested in things, find joy in simple things. Be thankful when you open your eyes each morning. I know this is hard but DO IT! Start each day off right. Positive ;D. This self-defeating behaviour is the result of not feeling that we deserve happiness. We are afraid of failure and we don't try things we should. Take the risks, reach out to people! Guilt and Shame only bring us farther into this condition- Rid yourself of those feelings. Look people in their eyes and be proud of who you are. Listen to music that makes your heart glow with positive uplifting energy.

The fact of the matter is this: Picking is a learned behaviour. We are not born with it. We learned it by observation, inability to cope with frustration and not being able or allowed to express our feelings. This is why we need to look at how to change our BEHAVIOUR and thinking patterns. We acquired this problem because we have learned the bad habit of THINKING NEGATIVELY and we constantly beat ourselves up emotionally with self-criticism and useless worry. We have all been through enough pain. Let the scars be for now- Don't worry about them at all. Make peace with yourself. Don't hide behind your make-up (or behind long hair as I used to). This only gives us more reason to feel bad.

Perhaps you experienced a chaotic and unpredictable environment as a child (in my case, living with an alcoholic parent) and, as a result, have had no outlet for your inner suffering. You may have developed feelings of helplessness and felt no control which led to more instability and insecurity. Maybe you had too much responsibility at a young age. Being over-burdened in this way (when you should be outside playing and feeling no worries) would surely lead to being hard on oneself in adulthood.

We are all perfectionists. Why is this so? It could be that we have had to meet expectations that were outrageously set too high. When I was young, I would show test scores of 96% to my parents and my dad would say "What happened to the other 4%?" Over time, this criticism got to me.

Why do we pick? We might have learned this behaviour in high school when we were most vulnerable to our own body-image and self-esteem. Of course this is the most natural time to sprout a few pimples- everyone does. We might have learned from our parents that you should pick them. My mom used to come at me with her fingers and say "you have to get that!" It started innocently for me. But eventually became a full blown addiction.

Another reason could be a CONTROL issue. Just as people starve themselves because they can, we too can pick our face and no-one can stop us. We take things out on ourselves instead of being confrontational with others. Funny thing: I tried before to quit picking and on one of the times that I went a whole day, I totally snapped on my husband. I realized later that when I pick, I can handle more stress because I am making myself "feel better" by attacking myself.

These trances in front of the mirror: I suppose there might be an adrenaline rush when we start picking. FEAR of what we are doing and what we will get when we are done. This adrenaline rush (caused by fear, fight or flight) is what keeps us going back to the mirror. I also know what it's like to "pick at nothing" and feed this self-defeating cycle.

If you have other addictions, try to eliminate those first. I quit smoking more than 9 months ago. This was a 10 year SEVERE addiction for me. I remember I used to be so lonely (As this condition tends to isolate us) I used to drive around in my car and smoke with one hand out the window and pick with the other hand. How did I even manage to stay on the road??? I used to cry while driving and I would leave my house at any hour just to be alone in the car smoking. I did this because I could not handle the stress of my seriously dysfunctional family. Now that I am smoke free I know that it is possible to get over an addiction. Smoking and picking went hand in hand for me. It was very difficult to quit and it got worse before it got better, but remember to STAY FOCUSSED and in the long run it will be worth it. I started running right away after quitting smoking (replaced with a GOOD HABIT) I used to not be able to walk up one flight of stairs without huffing and puffing. Now I can run for 45 minutes outdoors with some serious uphill. Wow! I amaze myself to say that!

I used to wear a TON of makeup. Half a bottle on some days maybe. I wear NONE now. This has been so good for my skin. Eating the right foods and cutting sugar has made an incredible difference in my skin. Plus, when you FEEL good you LOOK good! I used to buy lots of skin products. They just aggravate my skin. Try to use just water for awhile until your skin stops swelling. Just splash water on your face and forget about it. Water is all you really need. Which brings to mind, drink lots of it too. I practically only drink water now. Sauna time has helped me. There is a sauna with jacuzzi and pool at my gym. This is heaven. If you want to work out but feel shy, DO AQUA FITNESS if you can. This is a good way to start exercise if you have not been doing it. Not intimidating at all.

If you are looking for another way to feel good about yourself and get more confidence - volunteer. I have done this for several organizations. It is so gratifying and the people you meet and the good you do for others just makes you feel so wonderful.

Illyria, you captured the intent of my virtual name so well. You describe it so beautifully. I can close my eyes and see us all there on that beach, flaunting our skin and feeling so carefree and calm.

Poi, Dutchess Dutchy, welcome and I hope you will keep coming to this forum. I know you will feel much better the more you visit.

Anne, lucky you to be in New Orleans. I recall hearing about an Emeril Lagasse restaurant around there? I am glad to see that you are joining me in the 21 day pursuit! It is nice to know that someone is with me on this. Keep strong and we'll do this together! I am so glad to hear you enjoyed your walk around your new city and met people. I wish you more days like this. Distract yourself and don't worry about the damn doc's.

girl1818, keep trying and you will make it to 21 days. If you pick at nothing, it means that when you stop creating redness, after a couple days the red will go down and there won't be anything left! Make it to 3 days and you'll see what I mean!

Lisa, congratulations!!! It must feel so wonderful - good for you!!

Flawless desire, I am so happy for you, congratulations on your great news. I love the idea of the safe haven/retreat. Let's make it happen! Wouldn't that be something!

Mora, Thank you so much for inspiring us all to try something good for ourselves. You showed us that it CAN be done!!! Thanks for being our guiding light.

Take care, Seabreeze.

[Duchess Dutchy day 3]

First of all: girl1818 I know how you feel. Isn't it terrible those hot summers, dying of the heat, not able to go to the beach or swimmimgpool, making up excuses for not going... I don't want people to see my hurt back and chest. But: I completed 2 days and I am on day three today. I haven''t scratched and I can see remarkable results. My back and chest look al lot better and I even think I could wear a tanktop next summer when I am tanned and the scars are not as vissible anymore. That's such a great idea! My face is starting to look okay too. Still pimples here and there but the amazing thing is that one pimple just disappeared on it's own!
I have been toughed (by my mom who also is a picker, my grandmother was also a picker BTW) that pimples need to be squeezed in order to go away.
Seabreeze you had a good point there. Why did you start, ask yourself that! I started because my mom told me. Now I have to change my behaviour to get into my scull that pimples just disappear. Just don't touch them!
Girl1818, just think: tomorrow is another day. If we all can change this (and girl, I am right there with you in the process, allthough i am in a totally different country writing in a language, which is not my mother tongue ) we don't have to be embarresed anymore.

Before I forget Seabreeze: 1 week is great! Can you see the great changes? The control thing you mentioned is very recocnizable (spelling??). I am a control freak and perfectionist. i think one of the reasons I pick is because I want to have a smooth skin. Isn't that stupid...? I pick and create leasures, scars etc, because I am a perfectionist.....

Poi, being creative on your chart? ;D I am making a tiny tiny picture in each square. It takes me longer than just to color it in and takes my mind of the picking LOL!
I will photograph my chart after I complete the 'program' and you all can see waht I mean!!

It's so nice to know that I am not alone in this and there are others on this great 21-day-thing!

Love, Duchess Dutchy

[Flawless Desire]

Thanks Everyone for the congratulatory wishes.
The reason I know god has a plan for me, is that I had a lot of female organs removed and technically had a very low chance of getting pregnant. So I guess Miracles do happen.

Anne, Tell me how your visit with Dr. Yarborough goes, after it happens. I'm glad that you found your time with nature and a woMAN's best friend, your dog. It can be such a nice time to reflect with the sunshine beaming down upon you, and the day to yourself. It does make us appreciate things sometimes. I should make time to do this once a day myself.

Duchess, I'm glad to hear you completed a day and are on your way to stardom. You will have to give me tips on child rearing, since you've been thru a lot of things already. (But that's a whole nother site, and support group... I bet

Girl 1818, I would love to wear low cut blouses and tank tops too, honestly it has been years! I wear short sleeve shirts, but that is about it. I have sun spot type scarring, from tanning back when I had picked and also went outside and did tanning while I picked, and now it just looks messed up. I don't want to suffer thru the embarrasment of people asking--so I avoid tanks now. Hopefully that can be evened out with laser, I do not know. But you're not alone on that one I can tell you that. It sounds like you at least will wear tanks once your current ones heal! That's something to shoot for.

Poi=--Welcome to the site, keep filling in your blocks, and keep us informed in your progress, we all know that you can do it!!

Seabreeze---There wasn't anything that you said which I did not agree with. I very much feel the same way, on how the situation starts, how it escalates, and also agree with some of your suggestions on how to combat it. Isn't it funny how intelligent we all are, yet we know sometimes it's easier said then done? I have gone so long with those same thoughts and still somehow picked after several weeks, months! I know it probably had to do with the anxiety of an upcoming event, and I thought I would just rid myself of a few imperfections. (Yah, right....let's not kid ourselves, right? )

Anyways, Thank you to all my well wishers.
I know that I'm crusing right along with the healing process...but am having some anxiety of having to disrobe and get a female breast exam or what not from my new OBGYN. I hate when they ask dumb questions, if it's not a problem in my chest....and it's about skin, then don't ask! Right?

Anyways........Have a fantastic day girls!
Don't let anybody rain on your parade, we are probably some of the most beautiful women/men/ people on this earth. Let's try to feel that way....and see what happens next.

[Poi]

Hey guys, i mean girls hehe,

I'm officially on day 3. It is 10:10 in the morning (i sware to god everytime i look at the clock its the same numbers - 1:11, 12:12, 3:33, etc) Anyways i'm about to leave to go get a physical cuz its required for school sports but after that im off to check out a local shaper for a surfboard i'm gonna get and after that going to the beach. I guess keeping busy helps. I just wanna say im not gonna give in and pick because all you guys are here and want me to be the best i can be. Thanks everyone. Day 3 [glow=red,2,300]WILL[/glow] be a success!

~Poi

[anne]

Hi guys! I am on day 4 now, it's sounds like Poi and duchess and seabreeze are right there in the same time frame, we can all make it! I have been picking a lot less for some time, yet I've had poor healing because of scar tissue inflammation.

Flawless, I did just get back from seeing Dr. Yarborough today, he was a nice guy. He only charged me $105 for the consult, usually a little higher if your insurance covers any of it. He is going to spot treat a little section in around 2 weeks and see how I heal then go to the bigger more damaged spots and treat them later on. He says my skin needs a bit more time to calm down before the dermabrasion and reinforced to me not to pick. Of course I totally agree with that, and now that I have a good plan in my head to get rid of scars down the road I feel stronger that I won't pick and attempt my own dermabrasion via fingernails He thinks I did have an inflammatory response to neosporin and perhaps some other products that had caused contact dermatitis.

It shouldn't be that traumatic of a procedure because he will just do small sections on each visit, he will only charge me $75 for each small area, about the size of a quarter I think. He may do around the edges more too in order to blend the surrounding skin in. I trust him because he is the best doctor at dermabrasion out there. Plus this price is very cheap to me and if it rids me of my scars with one dermabrasion is much cheaper than multiple microdermabrasions. After the dermabrasion he puts a dressing on it for 24 hours, then you go back and they take it off and then give you another dressing for 48 hours, and then after that you leave plain vaseline on it for a few more days. Sounds like it will be bandaged during the worst stages which is good because it won't stress me to see it. I think I have a good outlook on everything now, hopefully it will all go as smooth as it seems.

Girl1818, I've never picked my arms, just the face, but I wish it were my arms and not my face I really do sympathize with you though, the frustration of thinking last year you said it would be the last summer and now your stuck hot again in long sleeves, it's a vicious cycle, but just KNOW that you can do it this time and have a plan on how you will deal with stress differently and handle things in a healthy way this time. Also I'm sure your roomies will understand if you explain your problem, just go ahead and wear your sleevless stuff around them, they may feel more inclined to open up with you about personal stuff too later.

Seabreeze, congrats on a week and you have a lot of great insight into our problems. I want to cut down on sugar too, as I think it really affects my moods as well as skin. I've just been going thru stress alot this past year with different things but I am also going to concentrate on all the good things in life too! It's just hard being in a new area and I want to start working, but just feel like I need to fix the skin first and want to be patient with Dr. Y to do it right. I think once I get a job after the treatments are over I will be less likely to pick too. Staying home too much is never good. Chat later

[girl1818]

thank you all so much for your support and encouragement, you are all truly amazing.

seabreeze...basically, you summed everything up that everyone on this board has been trying to say for years. All of the questions about why we pick...well, you answered them and you answered them very simply. you are brilliant. i am so glad that you are on this board. You also made me think a lot about the fact that i have been programmed to think negatively...perhaps its because of my dysfunctional childhood. I never thought i was that pessimistic until my recent boyfriend pointed it out to me. He has a very sunny outlook on life, so i think that being with him has showed me how dim my outlook is. I'm hoping that now that im coming to terms with my childhood and my negativity, i will ease up on my picking. perhaps my relationships will get better as well? i know that i have distanced so many friends this summer simply because i didn't know what to wear when going out with them, so i would stay home. pretty darn ridiculous when you think about it huh.

duchess dutchy...i am so surprised that english is not your native tongue...you communicate very well. I'm very happy that you have made it for three days...keep it up!

flawless desire...once again, congrats:) You will make an amazing mother. i have sun spot type scarring too, and its so annoying. little brown spots all over my arms. however, i guess the good thing about that is that maybe people just assume that they are sun spots and that is it? thats what i'm hoping.

POI...good job on getting to day three, you are right in keeping yourself busy!

anne...congrats to you as well on day FOUR! thats very exciting. Please keep posting to talk about your doctors visits, and the procedures because i really want to do something about my scars this winter. Although i still have a hard time not picking, (i'm on day 2, for like the hundredth time) i do find that i can control myself more, and i am not leaving open wounds on my arms. the scabs that i have been creating the past few months heal very quickly. So...i'm hoping to nip this, and fix the damage over the winter.

best wishes to all of you! you really are the best support group ever.

[Duchess Dutchy day 4]

Hey girlies !

Short one here, I have to do the laundry and than go to the mall (it's 12.35 pm in Holland right now). I will write some more tonight when the kids are sleeping. I am hanging in here, still coloring blocks, it's a true artwork hahahaha LOL!

See you tonight, love Dutchy
p.s. in a couple of days I will post a picture of me, I am looking better every day since the scars are healing!

[Duchess Dutchy Day 5]

I sware to god, they are talking to me whenever I take a look in the mirror, with their squeeky, tiny voices: "pick me, pick me, pick me....!!!" Aaaaarrrrggghhh, I am having a hard day here, since I have a major brakeout with pimples, blackheads, the whole chebang (spelling???). The wounds are healing, the last ones are going away, the scars are getting less obvious, but there is more acne than I am used to

Flawless desire: Motherhood is great, I love my two sons. I hope to get more children in the future. We recently moved from an appartment to a large house with garden and I am so happy to have more space. It's a rental house, but very nice in a great, neighborhood with lots of children. My youngest is 4 months old and I am still nursing him (I nursed the oldest for a year and a half!!). Whenever I am pregnant the picking and acne worsen. When I was pregnant with my first child I looked like a raw steak. My back, chest and face where extremely terrible, like you'd never seen before. I didn't go out and hide myself in my bedroom, that ashamed I was....I even wair false nails (very long) when I am pregnant. They are terrible, but picking is a lot harder. I hope your skin will not react to the hormones as mine did.

Anne, day 6 for you, can you also see the remarkable changes in your face? I even wear less make-up and look much happier. I go out more and look people in the eyes. I am not so ashamed anymore to show people my face. I still wear longsleeves though hehehe!

Girl1818, and it's your 4th day isn't it, or was it day 3? Whatever, since we are still coloring, it's going fine, right? Thanks for the compliment on my English. It's been a while since I have used english professionally (for business). It's not flawless and gramattically completely correct, but you can understand me! BTW, in Holland everyone's english is extremely well. We all are allmost fluent, The english we speak in Holland is called midatlantic english.

Poi, You are also on day 5 isn't it? Still a long way to go, but the first steps are there!

Have a fine day everyone and talk to you later

Love, Dutchy

[anne]

Hi guys!

Well I guess I would have been on day 6 duchess, but I am going to start over because I slipped some. I don't know if you guys will understand what I'm talking about, but my red raised scar gets even more raised on some days and white fluid will come out if it is rubbed at all. Well sometimes I just rub it not really pick and then I feel like maybe it was good it came out, but then that usually gets me going more aggressive on it and washing it alot more and anyways it is more inflamed today so I guess I screwed up.

I just wish the doctor could dermabrade it all off now, but he said it needed time to get a bit better, and now I'm kind of worried it will never get to the stage he wants it too In the middle it feels like there is a hard piece of tissue, almost like a scab under the skin itself, like normal skin grew over a hard scab or something-weird. I've just never had my face react before how it's been doing this past year. I know I should just leave it alone though, the doctor even told me picking is bad, bad, bad! yet my mind still thinks it should attack and conquer

I was also feeling a little lost in my life yesterday, not quite knowing what to do. Well I am going to be better from now on.

Flawless, how are you feeling with your pregnancy?

[ameise]

Dear friends,

I am fairly new to this board -- just discovered it last week after a pretty severe, "how can I be doing this again" session. It's been a hard week. After creating one significant skin break, I was pretty good about not picking other areas while it healed, but I kept checking on it with high anxiety all the time. And Now, yesterday, just as it was about to be nearly healed, I picked a sort of subsurface clogged pore place on my forehead that has been an on- and-off focus for months -- I don't really understand how I could've done that ... for a week I was thinking, a nearly constant background thought/ wish: I just can't wait till this thing heals, then all will be okay, I can move on, with a "clean slate", and then just as it was about to happen, I picked this oher area. Seems so self defeating... I am not sure why, I really want to be the best person I can for myself & the people I care about & this so obviously distracts me, puts a barrier between me & engaging fully with life.

So I've been wanting to try the 21 days... I will make a little chart now & start.

My best wishes to all of you,

ameise

[playinwitfire]

Hey everyone

I've completed the chart (with slipups) and funny enough since day 21 I havn't even had the slightest urge to pick. In fact the urge to shop and socialise has far outweighed it. I'm now focusing on self improvement. Finding myself, and what i call my 'feel good' activities. Since I've stopped worrying about my flaws and my skin its given it time to clear up and now I feel free to concentrate on other branches of self discovery. I even feel less indecisive when I'm shopping. I always used to weirdly reason that my skin was flawed therefore anything i buy is just not worth it. weird but caused a lot of grief. I'd just buy stuff trying to improve my image cus i hated what i called my awkward face n I'd end up returing it to the store. It just had to be perfect or I'd beat myself up over it. I'd think omg what if my ex saw me in this what would his friends say. These are the things I worry about a lot but now I just buy things when they are 100% me and not cus I saw it on someone i envy..we all do it.don't we? i duno. wel i do. but im much happier buying me comfort stuff. It feels better.

If that makes sense...I'll be glad if one of us knows what I'm on about.

I'm gona post a poem on here sumwer cus i wrote it n sum1 might relate to it...I'll start a new thread in other topics or sumthin. Writing poetry can feel so good. Feels like rivers flowing out my mind and all joining together on the page n flowing back into the sea...if u know what i mean!!

Luf xjessx

[Duchess Dutchy Day 0]

Hey guys,

Day Zero for me today, starting over tomorrow...Just like you Anne, I slipped. So I will print another chart and start over tomorrow.

Playinwitfire, Tnx for your encouraging words! I feel (on day 6/ zero) that the urge to pick is already much less. But since I slipped some today, I will start over. I don't mind that much, because there's so much improvement in my behaviour.

Ameise, A very warm welcome to you! Will you be starting the chart tomorrow?

Poi, Flawless desire and Girl1818, are doing ok?

Love, Dutchy

[Flawless Desire]

Hi guys,
Congratulations to those with new beginnings, it must be like being born again. A re-birth, a chance to start over and have a new exciting and different life.


That leads me into CONGRATULATIONS TO Jess--AKA PLAYINWITFIRE---Great job on your new beginning and finding "feel good" things to do. I know what you mean about doing new things in life. I am on the same track. When I focus less on my face, I have so much time for life! It's amazing. Keep doing things to celebrate YOU!!

Duchess Dutchy, Thanks for feedback on motherhood.
I was worried about the pregnancy acne, but for some reason my hormones have reacted differently so far. I actually feel like my skin is a little more balanced.

It could also be the new makeup I am trying, I am not sure, or it could be the fact I touch my face less which keeps it from getting so much bacteria transferred from my hands.

Either way, I hope that this is not a fluke, maybe my face actually needs whatever substance is produced in pregnancy to balance itself out. Did you get the acne right away, or was it worth in a certain month? I think I am in my 2nd or 3rd month. I never really paid attention to much besides my skin, so who knows what month I am in.

LOL Anyways, cross your fingers for me. If my face explodes into that, I will have trouble being strong. A girl I work with was pregnant and got pregnant acne, and it seems she still has it months later. I don't get it. Her face was clear as a bell before. She is not picking though, I can tell, I admire her for that.

Girl 1818- Thanks for the congrats! How are things going for you these days? I do have white acne scars, or sunspots, on my arms and chest....and I'm not sure why, they are not brown ones like most people say they have. I'm sure I put something stupid on before going outside to tan. I know I use to use Retin-A and also Clearasil, and then TAN, what an idiot I was. Doesn't matter I guess neither is much of a treat in our books, right?

Oh well, can't take back the past. I do look at girls with the golden tans and perfect skin and think what I wouldn't give to be that person. But I guess I have a lot of other things to offer. I suppose that I am not an ugly girl, and I know this illness has shaped me to be humble. Most people like a humble person anyways better then a conceited one--so maybe it even helped me to make more friends, better friends. Like you guys.....we all know we would never have come together if it was not for our circumstances, right? LOL

Anne, it sounds like you have taken a big step by going to Dr. Yarborough. He seems nice and he wants to help you. It's time to WOW him with how nicely that your scar has healed now that you will leave it alone (right?)

This is what you have to look forward to now, your REASON to leave it be. WRITE YOURSELF A BIG NOTE AND PUT IT SOMEWHERE. THE DR. IS GOING TO FIX THIS.....MY ONLY JOB IS TO LEAVE IT ALONE!!!
Keep the lights low. Reduce mirror time and bathroom time. Wear small bandaid to cover when times of tension are the worst and you want to scratch. If you managed to leave it alone for awhile before, what worked for you then? Write them down, put them into action. Those same techniques will work again. Use them. They will work!

Welcome also to Ameise, good luck in your new venture of 21 days! You will conquer and prevail, if you want to do it bad enough. Remember that this is merely a mind game that we play with ourselves, and the moment we choose not to engage in the game anymore,.,.....WE WIN!!! Good luck, keep us posted on your progresses, your falls, and we will do our best to support you to conquering this as you help us.

Today, I am going to write down all the things I do in a day that give me a "boost" and make sure that when I am down, I do at least one of them to celebrate life.

Keep up the posts coming! You guys are going to do this! You really truly are! Don't let your mind trick you into doing any harm to yourself, I'm going to try not to.

[ameise]

Thanks for the welcomes.

Dutchess D, you asked when I would start my chart -- I started yesterday, so today, August 19th, is day 2 -- (amazingly, that already feels like an accomplishment -- maybe it's the colored square). Are you on the same schedule?

I will keep you all posted -- gosh this is an unexpected form & forum of support...

I have wished for a real-life in person therapy group in the past -- but I think this maybe be as good, or better--- it is truly so touching to read the way you all have put these feelings, and struggles, etc. into words...

best wishes

ameise

[anne]

Welcome ameise, you are in the best support group ;D The people here are very understanding and smart. Playinwitfire, I am proud of you, it is not an easy thing going 21 days, so I know you have alot of inner strength! Just remember how strong you are!

Flawless, I think you are right about what you said about the doctor helping me and my only job is to leave it alone. I just wish he would do all the spots at one time on Sept 2, but I guess he is unsure if some of them would heal back right so soon. I feel like this is the only real solution to get rid of the trouble scarred spots because they just don't leave on their own and will go thru different phases of inflamation, maybe because the derm was always giving me new things to try on it too. I guess I am a little impatient because I want to go out of town in October to see some family and want to put this behind me. I really feel like if I had my skin more under control I wouldn't be tempted to pick at all and hope it gets to an acceptable state soon.

I have noticed that I am zoning alot lately, not just when picking, but just anytime, I get spacy! Is being spacy related to dopamine or what? I think allergies can make you feel spacy more too. Well I am going to deal with what God gave me today and do the best I can, that's my new motto.

One of the things which sounds negative but seriously will stop me from picking at times, is if I see a swollen spot zit, whatever, I say "I seriously don't care anymore, it will be ugly not matter what, there is nothing I can do, and I give up" more or less. It's better than striving for perfection and fighting my skin.