21 days to break a habit

[moratorium]

Hello,

I'm new to posting having lurked here previously in times of severe post-picking episodes. It really is strangely comforting to know I'm not alone with this socially stifling compulsion. I'm in a terrible state at the moment, having entered something of a CSP stupour. I'm finding it nearly impossible to string any pick-free days together for healing. I'm in deep with this self-loathsome activity and right now I'm grasping for a way out.

In a fit of despair, still searing from the sores and swollen lesions brought about by the usual trance-like session I've just devised this colouring chart:

>>>21 DAY CSP CHART<<<

It works on the common ethic that it takes 21 days to break a habit. I am in desperate need of some healing time, so whether or not it's a full-proof concept is yet to be seen, but I am determined to give it a shot.

I thought I might post it here, just as a statement of intent. I am in such a mess right now, I need a little displacement activity. Sorry for wasting up board space.

Feel free to join me in my endeavour. You can print off the chart if you like, or make your own. The idea is to keep the chart in a place you ritually link with picking, and should you feel the urge, to try instead to colour in one of the boxes in the square (representing the day up to 21) and colour in a whole square when you manage to go CSP-free for the day.

Again apologies for posting this frivolous idea here, but I just thought maybe someone might want to join me in my pursuit.


UPDATE: I've done it! I've done it! I've done it! 21 days of respite and no fresh scar congregations to speak of. I feel like a changed person. Thanks so much everyone for the support and empathetic ear. You are all that elusive, missing ingredient from my previous feeble attempts to quit. I feel I have been freed from the shackles and now look forward to a life in which I can control my unruly impulses to pick. I have well and truly suppressed the picker within.

ANOTHER UPDATE:

Hello again, I've also added a little accompaniment goal sheet to fill in for any of you who feel like beginning this 21 day pick-free, skin salvage.

>>>CSP GOAL SHEET<<<

Here's one I filled in, remembering how I was feeling at the start of this ordeal:

>>>What my goal sheet looks like<<<

[ashenn]

i think it's a great idea. i've heard the same thing about breaking a habit in 21 days....and i decided last night i'm willing to try it. actually it was funny, i was going to get online and post a thread starting the "21 day countdown" for everyone this morning, but when i got up...

...ya beat me to it, you rascal.



Ash.

[bd8300]

i'm joining you all, actually i started a thread yesterday called want to quit so badly and this is my first pick free day so i wish to join you guys too. My name is Lisa. Do you guys realize that by the end of July we will be pick free if we stay true to ourselves and committed to 21 pick free days.

We are going to do this and we are all going to succeed-let the next 21 days be filled w/ posts about our progree and success.

[moratorium]

Hi ashenn and Lisa, thanks for the encouragement and eagerness to make a stab at this 21 days with me!

I'm feeling so low at the moment. I'm still feeling the overwhelming guilt and shame from having picked. Not to mention looking grotesque.

Also much to my chagrin, I actually even got the name of the disorder wrong in my opening post! You'd think after all these agonising years the simplest thing would be to know the correct acronym for the scourge that is picking. Luckily I found the edit button. If only I could have one of those installed on my person, it would make these regretful acts much easier to manage!

Lisa, well done on having gone a pick-free day already. That's great. Hopefully I can join you tomorrow. It's a great idea to make posts updating our progress in the coming 21 days. I'll try to update the chart too.

[sunshinefunk]

I really like this idea. I made my own chart and I'm going to start today. However, I think it's realistic for me to say that 21 days, no matter what I do, will not make up for the 12 years that I have picked. Hopefully the chart will make me more aware of the habit and reduce it a lot.
Is there a reason the lines are horizontal on some and vertical on the others?
-sunshine-

[moratorium]

Hi sunshinefunk! Thanks so much for coming on board. I know what you're saying, nothing can compensate for all the many years, from childhood onwards of self-mutilation and I bear many scars, but I owe it to myself to at least try to keep this behaviour in check. And they say, your mindset adjusts once you go for 21 days with a change in routine. So fingers crossed...

Good luck to you too, I'm glad you made your own chart! I just knocked this one off in a drawing application. I'm not sure what you mean about the lines, perhaps you're not viewing it at 100%. I tried to make it look like an unintimidating pathway to success.

[sunshinefunk]

Thanks, Yeah, my computer sucks, so it probably didn't come out right. I'll be thinking of you and everyone else for the next 21 days. good luck!

[bd8300]

hey girls, it's Lisa,I'm about to go to sleep now. I just got home a while ago and just finished washing my face. I only took 10 minutes in the washroom. Well tomorrow is day 2 for me. Just remember keep to the 21 days everyone-at least we know things can ONLY GET BETTER since we are not picking. Let's tell ourselves we are not pickers no more and do everything inour power to stay in control. And by the end of the month we will have completed 21 days and go on to complete another 21 and so on, and by then it will be a piece of cake til we cure ourselves for good.

Everybody, please try your best, do it for yourselves-i wish u all happiness! Talk to y'all tomorrow.

[moratorium]

Hi bd8300, well done in the washroom. It's really inspiring to have strength in numbers for this endeavour! I'm determined it's going to be a pick-free day for me today too.

[bd8300]

hey moratorium. I really hope i'm being inspirational to you and to others, not only am i doing this for myself, but i want to help you too. So far since i have woken up i went to eat breakfast, watch a bit of tv and prayed-no i will go and get ready.

Good luck and we all can do this-it isn't impossible. Lets put our worries in GOD's hands-like the Romans 12 verse 12-13 says-"Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles and pray at all times."

Luv you and i'm praying for you all!!

[sunshinefunk]

What's up ladies? I got through yesterday with minimal picking. Today I got up and ran with my running club-not a chance to even think about picking. Hopefully this feeling will last me through day 2. These first three are going to be the worst, but we're all in it together, right? Good luck and step away from the mirror!
-sunshine-

[ashenn]

hey guys, i kinda fell off the wagon....

i've been really stressed lately, not that that excuses me from our countdown, but i'm going to keep on it with you guys and then tack a couple days onto the celebration day. (the date the 21 days are up.)

i'm trying not to be too upset with my fickleness...

it helps my OCD ridden brain a TON to have dates to work in between.

so, we started on: 7/9.
we're done on: [glow=purple,2,300]8/1.[/glow] (i'll celebrate and then go for another 2 days to make sure i reach the 21 day limit.)

sorry guys. please let's keep at it!!!!

righteous...
Ash.

[moratorium]

Sorry to hear of your set-back Ash. It's such a difficult undertaking to commit to going without this self-injurous comfort blanket. I'm happy to report I've got one whole day of healing under my belt, and the first square duly coloured in!

You have absolutely no need to apologise for any capitulation to the dreaded urge, if it wasn't such a temptation then this 21 day feat wouldn't be a noteworthy challenge.

We owe ourselves a little convalescence.

[anne]

Hi guys. It's been a long time since I posted here because my computer was down for awhile but I feel like I need the support again to "string some pick free days together" as said earlier. I have been picking alot at scars and realize I just make excuses for myself why I do it, like the skin was screwed up anyways, miles well pick it off, or I'm just "cleansing" ect.. However, it makes me feel so guilty every time I do it and my face forms another scab, I just really need to quit. I am making me a chart now and am really serious about stopping this time. I'm going back to the derm Monday too, maybe get some antibiotics or cortisone shots or something to help me be good. I just want to add that while we are all on our 21 day adventure together we should give ourselves a pass from looking good or trying to look good. Because I think this is a large part why I pick, I get scared my skin looks bad and want to help it so I pick and eventually it gets worse. So I am just going to tell myself if I get a zit or whatever I am allowing myself to look bad and not stress over it for at least these 21 days In general I like the way I look if I didn't have these scars and scabs. I've always valued looking good, so telling myself I can look bad and will probably look bad for awhile, but have to get thru it is making peace with it and releasing anxiety. Hope this helps someone out there too!

[moratorium]

Hey anne, sorry you've been driven back. I understand what you mean about retreading old scars, it's like we just can't move on and accept that the body has already tried its best to repair that area. Like we are firing our body for it's hard work, and instead muscle-in ourselves to see if we could do any better. I must say in my experience, I've never yet been shown to have the midas touch. It's more like epidermal harrassment of skin that's just trying to forget its past abrasions and move forward.

I love your idea of just kicking back and allowing ourselves a little holiday to uglyville for the 21 days. Hmmm... perhaps that's a little pessimistic. How about... 'ugtopia' a place where it really doesn't matter how you look, and where skin is freely allowed to express itself without any interference or getting picked apart.

Join us on our ugtopia adventure anne!

btw if anyone is interested, I've done a little update of my chart in the first post.