21 days to break a habit

[grl1818]

Well...i let my fingers get the best of me and went on a little rampage today. Therefore...i need to start over. I'll be starting day 1 again tomorrow if anyone wants to join me. I go to the shore for a week in a few days, so hopefully my skin will clear up like it used to when i got a deep tan I swear, as soon as i get my arms looking close to normal, i go and mess them up again. Not doing it anymore!!!!

[moratorium]

Well Day 7 has arrived. Exactly one week ago I lacerated myself in what I hope will be my last ever picking session. I have healed very well and I've come to some amazing realisations about myself and why I want to be rid of this scourge. I won't tolerate it any longer. I really did believe what I was doing was 'corrective' but now having taken a step back to elucidate, I know differently. You really won't believe how much better my skin looks as an overal unit! I'm not talking about when I'm but an inch away from a mirror monitoring the looming inclines of a wayward pore, but my skin as a whole - as a fully functioning external organ.

You've really all got to try to get to one week. Just as an experiment. I'm sure we've all committed heinous acts of experimentation on our poor skin in one form or another over the years (I remeber when I was about 11 trying to ameliorate a spot by putting veruca acid on it and burning the skin off!) we may as well try this one!

grl1818, as long as you keep trying, that's all that matters. You are showing the intent to want to stop and that's the most important fuel you need.

[kg]

Hi, I'm new to this board, glad to have found it and hear from other people like myself. I just made myself a little "quitting calendar" two days ago, and have been doing ok since then, but I'm going to hang this 21 day thing up next to it, having a couple things to help me quit certainly won't hurt. Thanks.

[bd8300]

hey kg, welcome aboard, you are so far doing great in my eyes; you've admittted your problem to yourself and to others, made a goal and a calender to help you quit and found a support group!!! Good for you.

Moratorium i was so glad to hear your last post. All of your posts have been motivators to me (and i'm sure to the others) but you are really kicking this disorder in the @$$. I'm on day 7 today too and it feels good, itt actually feels good to wash my face. After today we can say we have officially completed 1 week.

To the people who just started-hang in there it will pay off believe me just fight your urges as hard as u can, things can only get better.

Keep the posts about your progress coming everyone you can all do it and everyone who is new or starting over what better time to start than now!!

Lisa

[moratorium]

Welcome kg, it sounds like you've got a battle-plan already in action. I really wish you success, it feels so good to finally have some semblance of control over my picking.

I also hope all the people who were just getting started are doing OK. It does take a lot of emotional and physical effort to summon the will to quit.

Lisa, I really want to thank you so very much for getting this far with me. If you hadn't come along and my plea had gone unanswered I'd probably still be in the same cycle of obsession. I really didn't anticipate my crazy idea about taking a hold of my life to be such a catalyst like this.

I feel like a part of me has been freed from an alcatraz of locked-in habitual behaviour that I just couldn't control. When I look in the mirror now I really see someone different. Someone whose skin I don't want to obliterate in search of an elusive ideal of 'perfection.'

Im actually getting quite cocky with my skin now, I want to issue a formal welcome to all the little inane lumps and bumps and spots who will be living with me for the foreseeable future, I hope they enjoy their stay, because I sure as hell won't be dislodging them in the throes of a picking frenzy! ;D

[buffy]

Moratorium, once again you are a true inspiration. Day 7 is really quite an accomplishment in my eyes....you're on to your 2nd week! And it used to seem so far away to me. but I'm now working on day #4. I haven't been able to get through even one night until finding this site 4 days ago... and this thread in particular. Now I'm really quite suddenly looking at my clean skin at night and its microscopic clogged pores and actually thinking "that blackhead actually looks sort of nice there surrounded for once by clean, smooth skin" Yes, the skin is just starting to appear clean and smooth...just a little bit. And the questionable pores dissappear even when I step back 5 or 6 inches. I've never even given them that opportunity before.
I've definitely had several urges to pick and even run my hands over my face but I consciously said no, stepped back and this time it's worked. So it's definitely a new challenge every night and I nervously anticipate whether i can make it through the night (I generally only pick at night after or right before washing my face) But I'm thinking I can do it.
Good luck to everyone. here's to a successful, pick-free weekend!

[anne]

Sounds like you all are doing great, congrats on 7 days moratorium! I am counting this as day 2 for me even though my infection did drain a little bit more out of a scab and I helped some of it out, it is gone now and I don't really count that as picking for me today. I am really watching myself though and really am trying to not even look in the mirror. I'm realizing more and more that just letting your skin be is a great beauty regimen. I am also trying to realize that I don't have to look perfect. That is a big goal of mine, not to just have better skin, but to have a better self-image and realize I can be happy without looking good all the time. I was just reading a magazine and looking at all the ads with beautiful women and all the ads selling products to help us look better and for people that get obsessed like us it can be overwhelming! I am just telling myself that peace of mind and mental stability is more important than looking good. Our friends and family want to see us happy not necessarily with perfect skin. I think I need to let the quest for great skin die a little or it will kill me. I'm glad you guys are here with me, it is comforting to have this support! Thanks

[bd8300]

day 7 is over for me! i can't believe i've made it through 1 week and today was also great for me b/c i was out all day and never worried a/b my skin. I didn't feel any discomfort in my face.

Moratorium thank u for even starting this thread, can u believe we have taken control of this, there's still work to do but i believe that w/ time and practice this habit will be a habit no more.

To all the others congratulations on your success, u can do this too, time will fly if u just keep focused, occupied and out of the bathroom.

Talk 2 you guys tomorrow, take care of yourselves!

Lisa

[bd8300]

hey everyone, day 8 has officially begun for me, i just woke up a/b 1 hour ago, went to the bathoom quickly and i am now cleaning my house. At about 1:00 i will take a shower and get ready to go out later on.

Hope everyone is keeping themselves busy and avoiding the mirror as much as possible. Remember that there's no such thing as just one pick!

Keep your goals fresh in your mind and never let this habit take control of you-we are in control.

Thinking of all of u and praying for your success.

Luv y'all

Lisa

[anne]

Seven and Eight days! You guys ROCK! I am thankful to be on my day three and I'm journaling some to note if my anxiety is rising. I think the picking will release it and then it will rise again to the point of exploding in another picking session. Have to keep it in check. I am also working on looking at myself as a whole and loving myself, not just hating each little defective piece of skin. We should love and nurture ourselves it has a very healing effect!

[moratorium]

Hello everyone,

It was a really beautiful day today and I actually felt confident enough to go out and enjoy it. This is the first Saturday in ages that I haven't been cooped up inside with seeping sores. This is a real breakthrough for me. I still suffered some social anxiety and felt a bit overwhelmed, but it's better than hermetic skin infatuation.

Lisa and anne well done on days 8 and 3 respectively. I think you've proved on this forum alone with your kindness of spirit and determination, that you certainly are more than merely a patchwork of conjugative skin cells! You are wonderful people.

Having said that, back to the topic at the forefront of all our minds... skin! ;D It's so nice to be able to give myself a good stimulating exfoliation to get rid of dead cells without having to worry about disturbing the many crusts and senstivie areas from picking. It's also great to not be covered in a host of peeling entities!

These 8 days have been a complete revelation.

[bd8300]

hey girls, hope u r all feeling great. Anne I'm so proud of you-u made it through day 3...u go girl, Buffy i hope u made it through day 4 and to all the others i hope u r progressing as well, hope 2 hear from u guys.

Moratorium, congrats on day 8, i just finished day 8 too (i just washed my face and now going to bed and no picking). I have 8 squares coloured on my sheet and i can't wait til its filled, that was such a great idea-it's been such a big help and just to know that u and the other girl are fighting this habit with me givees me more determination to overcome it-i wouldn't be able to do it /out u guys, thank u all for your continuous support.

Be gentle to your skin and no picking, we are now in control of our habit that will soon not be our habit anymore. Everything is possible w/ practice, patience, and hope.

God bless u all!!

[FlawlessDesire]

I am new to the site, although I have been reading posts for quite awhile.

I totally agree that it IS truly comforting --as someone else said--- to know that we are not alone. Sometimes I come to the site crying and upset.

By the time I am done reading a few posts, I feel better and have some kind of new found strength.

I have been picking since I was in 6th grade, and I'm 30 now (as of this year) so you can probably guess I've made a mess of myself. But am still hopeful I can save myself from....myself. I defintely have good weeks and bad weeks. A bad week, I consider anything that cannot be concealed behind makeup.

Today I have to go to a rather social event and don't feel that I look too great, but NOT going isn't an option.
(Don't you hate those times?) ....but that which does not kill us ...makes us stronger.

I am going to join the 21 days to break a habit plight...as this is a great idea.

I wish everybody well, in this new beginning and look forward to talking with some new friends who understand this...most of mine probably would be supportive, but would not understand completely without having been there

FlawlessDesire.

[moratorium]

Welcome FlawlessDesire (what a beautifully apposite pseudonym!), I really feel for you and the soaring anxiety that must be present with your imminent social function. They really are the times you have to face up to this illness in the most jolting fashion. I really hope you find support here, please do join us in our sojourn of skin salvation.

Lisa, anne, buffy and any others still hanging in there, you're in my thoughts.

Well, I have virtually sailed through Day 9 but I'm feeling quite scared about venturing into the unknown. A life without picking to fall back on, I just keeping thinking about that young girl who would pick at herself every night - practically the only physical contact I ever got. I was never hugged as a child and simply had to settle for shouted fits of psychological abuse and retreated into myself. I've been doing a lot of crying today because tackling my picking head on has brought so many things flooding back. I feel like I've taken control of the picking but I don't have any substitute to nullify the emotional pain in a life completely devoid of love. I'm not applying for martyrdom here, I'm feeling pretty confused. I didn't realise by taking picking out of my life, it would make so many other things resurface. I'm not going to let it deter me though. My skin is not under the cloak of a self-made crust anymore.

I hope everyone else is bearing up.

[anne]

Hi guys I've made it pretty good thru day 4, might have had a little baby pick, but stopped ;D Moratorium, I know what you mean about being scared of the unknown without picking. I have already been getting a little paranoid without the picking, I'm starting to wonder how much longer I'll really be able to keep this up and then I also realize that it will take longer than I thought for my scars to really fade away and it will be alot of patience. I will probably need some type of scar revision. So that creates anxiety and then that makes me weaker with the picking. So I have to remind myself what a good job I and we are all doing and be happy about it I'm sorry to hear you are lacking the love you need in life, is that mainly from childhood or still a problem finding others to love now? You seem like such a friendly person you have a lot to offer! Just learn to love yourself first and you will be set. I'm trying to take my own advice too. Learning to love ourselves is so much harder than loving others.

Welcome flawless desire, glad you posted we need you to help us thru just like we will help you! BD8300 sounds like you are doing great, I am jealous of you guys at 7 and 8 days, you will hit 21 before you know it. Well I'm off to bed!