21 days to break a habit

[ashenn]

i've been doing really well. not only have i not picked for the last day 1/2, but i've also been taking really good care of myself. drinking lots of water. getting lots of protein. popping vitamin C like an addict!!! AND, no smoking, drinking, or overeating.

after i made that huge long post in the first post of it's kind? thread, about Potential, i've been thinking. What if i used all of the negative energy i put into my face (neck, back, chest, etc.) and turned it around, made it positive? instead of picking, put on lotion. instead of scratching, weave some hemp...etc.

if i expended HALF of the negative energy i put into myself in a more positive way, i think i'd see a substantial improvement...

so!

for 21 days, i guess i'll do that. ;D

[moratorium]

Great to hear you've got a new lease of life Ash! I loved your musings on our potential. I'm off to bed now having completed my second day. We can do this.

[anne]

Hey guys! Ugtopia-my skin could use a holiday there! I have to confess yesterday was bad for me because I have an infection under my eye that is REALLY swollen right now and I couldn't get in to the derm Friday so I have to wait till tomorrow and hopefully he'll be able to help me. I can't really figure my skin out lately, I was on antibiotics for a long time, but it seems they don't kill infection in me anymore, the same areas will continually get reinfected or maybe just they were always infected but it lies dormant for awhile before flaring up again. I think I will ask the derm for a gel like bandage with antibiotics in it that I can leave on it for a week. I'm not planning on going anywhere this week. I've heard these exist for impetigo and I really just want it covered up so I don't look at it and touch it. The last time I was at the derm he just prescribed me antibiotics and told me to use aquafor ointment on my spots. However, I think this is what caused the spot to swell up again, and then when I touch it a little it really swelled up bad I have scars around this area and am just ticked off today. I'm not picking today, however, there's not much to really pick at right now because I did it last night I am going to be so embarrassed sitting in that doctors office tomorrow too without make up, this office has people there that don't have skin problems too, and I hate it when people just glance at me. And I feel stupid wearing any makeup at all, but it is tempting. I hope tomorrow is better, and I have the strength to get thru it!

[bd8300]

Hi everyone, hope u all are doing well. Tommorow will be my day 3 out of 21 days. So far so good. I haven't created any new sores on my face, i'm just waiting for everything to heal and it is going along pretty well. Hope u all are keeping strong and true to our plan.

Anne, I wish u luck at the derm tomorrow, i admire u for going, anytime i ever made an appointment at the doctor i would have to make it a week before and let my skin heal so that i would actually get thee courage to go. Everything will be fine-hopefully your derm can prescribe u something for the swelling, and i hope u are also staying pick-free.

God is with us all-just stay true to Him and yourselves and have will power and we WILL overcome this-let these 21 days be the beginning to a new pick free life.

[moratorium]

I didn't think it was possible but I feel I'm really turning a corner by taking hold of my destiny like this, knowing that I WILL NOT be picking for the next 19 days. Thanks to you all, Ash, Lisa, anne, you have been empowering.

Anne, I'm thinking of you, your infection is utmost in my mind! You are so brave venturing to the dermatologist and braving the elements with your sores. I am like Lisa, I have to have a healing Sabbatical before I bear my face to the world.

I'm so glad I've checked into Ugtopia, my skin is already looking much better and healing. Even some of the little pimples which would have been a red rag to a bull for me but a few days ago have disappeared virtually on their own! Fast-tracking the crap out of them surely is the very worst of solutions. The skin really does try to regulate itself, if you allow it patience.

I'm hoping for a good day 3 today. Best wishes.

[ashenn]

mora....the skin really does try to regulate itself. soooooooooo hard for me to be patient, though.

how many of you are "just not picking"? or is anyone introducing a new action in it's place, i.e, balling up your fist when you feel the urge, reading, typing, eating huge ice-cream sundaes (wouldn't reccommend that last one. i'd surely be a tanker if i ate ice-cream everytime i wanted to pick.)

with hot fudge....

and strawberries....

mm.

Ash.

p.s.-- Mora.....i'm so proud of you. keep up the pace, girl. you *are* turning a corner.

[moratorium]

Keep fighting it Ash, although I don't want to incite you to violence or anything. That balled up fist could be lethal in a combat situation with all this pent up picking frustration.

You know, I'd find it hard to recommend a displacement activity. I don't think I could think of anything that produces such an incredible rush as a picking session (of course then followed by the mandatory horrendous comedown) aside from maybe acquiring a heroin addiction, although something tells me that might be a bit foolhardy.

It would have to be something you know it is unwise and ultimately futile to do to really hit the mark... hmmm... how about making a prank call to an ex lover? If anyone has any suggestions, please let us know!

[anne]

Thanks for the support guys! My swelling is down a little this morning but I just look like I got red scabs on my face--not all over but the ones I got are big! I would give myself a healing sabbatical before I went to the derm, however that has been the problem for me--I don't tend to heal well lately! These spots have just kept flaring up so even though they look like they might heal sometimes they will blister again. I know I cause some, but I'd probably leave it alone more if the skin was more normal. I know the difference between picking at nothing and picking at something and then picking at something infected. I've done them all but have dramatically cut out the picking at nothing stuff. Most of my skin actually looks good accept for these spots which I feel ruin my face. I just want to get treatment today though and maybe a bandage for it I can leave on so I won't touch it. Then I will have the resst of the week to be pick free and calm, and next week I have to see some friends so I better look healed! I'm just telling myself who cares what strangers who see me today think of me, I am doing this for myself and have to take care of myself.

Oh and on a substitute for picking, I was thinking of picking up something that smells good with lavendar in it from bath and body works or GNC sometimes. Then when stressed we can just close our eyes and sniff and let ourselves relax and feel good. Also it helps to then do visualization of our goals and happy happy thoughts. This could become a habit after awhile. Right now my only redeeming habit is just to put ointment on my skin and play with the ointment on my face until I think it looks just right and will heal better or something However it gives me something to do that's healing, I just like touching things! Well I need to go to the grocery store too now, I will dab some makeup on for that and run in and out, then derm at 1:30. This day better going freaking fast, I will post later how it went. I hope I don't back out!

[sunshinefunk]

Hey everyone,
I'm working on day four and it's great. My face looks so much better already. I have some scars, but no red bumps. It's good to hear from all of you about your progress. If you mess up, it's not the end of the world. It happens and you just have to get back on. I hope I can make it to day 5 without any picking. Good luck!
-sunshine-

[sunshinefunk]

Hey everyone,
I'm working on day four and it's great. My face looks so much better already. I have some scars, but no red bumps. It's good to hear from all of you about your progress. If you mess up, it's not the end of the world. It happens and you just have to get back on. I hope I can make it to day 5 without any picking. Good luck!
-sunshine-

[moratorium]

It's great to hear you're still on schedule sunshine. It seems almost more amazing that we've come together like this and managed to curb a huge accumulative tidal wave of picking of a global proportion. I'm in the UK and in a different time zone but I've just done day 3 and am about to go to bed, no picking.

Anne, I hope all went well with the derm appointment. I know it can be almost irrepresibly tempting to get stuck in when your skin is sporting a break out. Sometimes they seemingly come out of nowhere, but as humans we are susceptible to infection, and treatment is available in various different forms, treating a skin condition is always preferable to causing more trauma to the skin and leaving a lasting legacy. Think of it like a throat infection, a very common human ailment, you'd treat it with anti-biotics or just leave it to your immune system, you wouldn't even contemplate taking a scraper to the back of your throat!

I hope you get some nice lavender scented toiletries, I must say picking induces such a mental high though, I'd have to add some adhesive fumes to that lavender for it to come anywhere close to a cognitive pick fix.

[M]

Great idea, moratorium! Before I read your post, I decided I needed to lose 10 pounds, so I drew up a simple chart and left it in my bathroom to mark on at the end of the day. It's got a picture of a "larger" person on the left and a "slimmer" person on the right, with the numbers 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6, etc. in between. I also have the amount of days I am allowing myself across the bottom, so I have something to mark off daily, even if I didn't lose anything that day. When I lose a pound, I'll just cross off the first one on the left (by the "larger" person), leaving only 9 pounds, etc., etc. It is a very motivating process. It helps you to see some objective progress. It also helps keep you committed. Your goal, which is also indicated on the chart, is also always visible to you, keeping you focussed! I also wrote up a little blurb, sort of a meditation or visualization, to help me actually see and feel what life would be like for me living my goal two months from now. This is by my bedside, which I read often. It gets me excited for the next day. Writing things down, meditating on your goal, etc. are very effective methods for making a change in your life! I did it three years ago, losing 50 pounds (I had a journal in my Palm Pilot, also.) Remember, you have to first have a goal, then KNOW your goal - ALL angles of it - how it will feel to be there, how others will see you, what you will now see yourself doing that you couldn't do before, what you will see when you pass the mirror, etc., etc. If you can't TOTALLY imagine you goal when you start, you will not know exactly where you're headed, or when you are close or at your goal!!!

I have been doing pretty well with my face lately, concentrating more on makeup and which colors look best, etc., but still have setbacks and/or still pick every 2-3 days (just a little). I think I will make another chart with a face on it with 21 "spots" that can be removed (stickers or something), and each day that I can go without picking, I'll get to pull one off and reveal a little rewarding saying to myself, like, "wonderful you!" or "what a beautiful gift you have been given," etc. I might even have my husband write all the sayings down and cover them up, so I will be really motivated and surprised each day that I am successful. If I mess up, I will have to cover them up and start over, and be only more motivated to reach the point I was at before to reveal new surprises from my husband??? I'm excited now!

Thanks for your great inspiration, moratorium!! I think you came up with a very creative idea! NEVER feel silly about being creative! Creativity can give me a "high" just like face picking, but there are usually much better results attached to creativity if you compare the "finished" products!! : ) Good luck to all of you!!!

[anne]

Hi guys! Congrats to those who are making 3 and 4 days already, I bet those are the hardest! My derm appointment went ok, accept half the time I don't think my derm really knows what he's doing because he gave me some antifungal stuff to apply which is the same stuff I used last month, and while it may have helped I'm still having problems. I told him I didn't like the aquafor ointment on my scars because it seems like it clogged them up with fluid so now I'm going to use polysporin. The only problem is you can become sensitive to antibiotic ointments over a period of time. I am suppose to go back next week to get a cortisone shot if my face is still swollen. I think as long as I don't pick I should heal up better this week. I have cancelled all plans for the week and am just going to devote it to getting better. I may take some walks when no one's around but other than that I'll probably just read and relax. I feel stronger now that I can stop picking and will keep you updated. We have to have faith in ourselves, even when we mess up! Oh, and going out ugly as anything and letting the world look at you really does help you realize that people don't care so much what you look like, especially strangers. People are wrapped up in themselves and I think it's good for me to get the exposure therapy by going out when I look bad to realize while it's not fun it's not so scary.

When I went to the grocery store with some of my sores showing virtually no one looked at me not even the lady checking me out much. Do you know how much I stressed over that? And it was dumb because no one cared. Of course I hope to never go out looking so bad again but maybe I can chalk it up to experience and know I don't have to be so perfect. ;D

[bd8300]

hey girls, day 3 is done for me and it went well. 2 areas have healed, but i'm so tempted to pick at these 2 dried scabs from pimples i tried to squeeze-but the thing holding me back is my 3 day progress and that's a great thing, i just can't wait til they get really crusty and dry and fall off. I hope by Sunday i will see a more noticible improvemnt, but so far i aint complaining-no long picking sprees in the bathroom-that feels good to know that i didn't spend 5 hours of my day in there.

Hope y'all are doing well and i can't wait to hear from you. Remember we are posting here to help eachother and get through. If anyone has had a slipp on just MOVE ON, we still have 17 days left-over 2 weeks and that's plenty of time to let things heal (on their own) and fall off (w/out our fingers help).

Talk 2 y'all later and you are all in my prayers!

God Bless

Lisa

[moratorium]

Hang in there Lisa, and anne! Day 4 has gone pretty well so far, I've been lamenting all the little scars and indents I've been the orchestrator of over the years, I can't believe this terrible affliction has had such a stranglehold on my life for so long. I really was at my lowest ebb when I made my way to the board, I never anticpated to get so far in just a few days with all your support. I REALLY don't want to go back.

Thanks very much for the words of encouragement 'M'. It sounds like you're a veteren of the old chart masterplan. Yours sound much more advanced than mine with all the love-notes from your husband and sticky accoutrements in tow. I hope the weight loss goes well for you and you achieve your goals too.

I echo Lisa's insistence that it really doesn't matter if you slip up, please don't shy away. I want to drag as many of you kicking and screaming with me through my 21 day trial.

Day 4 nearly done.