21 days to break a habit

[ant]

Yes, getting scar revision that works is something I think about... although I still pick, I haven't done the kind of deep scar-causing picking in many years. And I think one of the main reasons I am still hyper-focused on my face skin is that I am so self conscious about my scars.


I actually did try dermabrasion years ago -- maybe the doc wasn't good -- also he did say multiple treatments mught be required & I never went back... however, I don't think it helped much if at all & there are now a couple small burst capillaries in places where I think the dermabrasion was most intense.

I don't mean to scare you/ any one off -- I think some people have good results.

I am wondering, though, if anyone else has thoughts/ experiences on other good/ possible options... how about the procedure (can't think of the name) where they "release" the underside of the scar with a mini-neeedle or something... sounds so horrible, worse than the orginal picking....

[Duchess Dutchy]

Hello all!

Iam a 31-year-old skin picker form Holland, I have been picking for 16 years .
This 21-day program seems like a wonderfull idea. I have just printed the sheed and I will start tomorrow. I can't wait to star coloring yeah!!!!!!

It's mid-august and we just had two weeks of extreme sunny and warm weather in Holland. Well, you all now what that means: you cannot wear the normal tons of clothing to hide the scars and wounds. I stayed in most of the time, not wanting to be seen in that bright light. Is that sad or what? Summertime should be a time of joy and laughter and beeing outdoors having a beer on a sunny terras....

I want to be able to wear a bikini next summer. Hope I won't have any scars left by then....(i pick my face, back and chest)

Love, Duchess Dutchy from Holland

[bd8300Lisa]

day 21 has come and gone and i'm so proud of myself and my coloured sheet of paper

Believe me if i did it anyone can, and remember you all were my inspiration, motivation, support and friends-thnk you all.

I think I'm going to print out another sheet and keep counting the days-21 day is a record but i want to move on to months and years and make this a thing of the past.

I'm thinking of everyone and pray for you all!!

Lisa

[Duchess Dutchy]

Dear Lisa,

Congartulations!!!!!!!! This is great news, I have just started my first day today and are about to color my second square. I feel very agitated at the moment and want to pickpickpickpickpick
My baby is crying, my 2 year old just used his bed instead of his diaper if you know what I mean, my siamese cats are screeming aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!!

Well, you are a great example and I really hope I can color day 21 in 3 weeks just like you!

Love, Duchess Dutchy from Holland

[from California]

Hi everyone

[moratorium]

(((((LISA))))) Many congratulations. I'm so proud of you for matching my pick-free pursuit! You still kept at it even at the second time of asking. We've done the impossible: left our skin alone! I'm so so pleased Lisa. You were with me right from the start with an iron will and you proved ample inspiration for me too.

You are a great woman. I don't mean to be tenuously topical, but I think you've achieved an Olympian feat! And you did it drug free!

I hope everyone else is bearing up too. Welcome to the newcomers seabreeze, ant and Dutch Dutchy, there is a wealth of support here and I sincerely hope it helps to assuage your suffering.

anne, I'm sorry to hear you are disheartened by your derm's cosmetic caveat. It is something to research and not rush into, you hear so many horror stories. Make sure you get more than one opinion and don't let them scam you into a false sense of expectation. I must say, I have vast misgivings about getting surgery. I used to dream of dermabrasion, even as a teen, and had a few microdermabrasion procedures carried out, but it really didn't seem to help at all and made my skin come up in a heat rash. The thing I'd worry about would be the temporary/sometimes permanent hyperpigmentation, especially getting it done on just one specific area. Knowing how critical we can be of ourselves, if a patch of skin had a slightly different pigmentation after this proceedure, it might spell the apocalypse for an already diminished self-esteem and might even just highlight the scars.

Definitely make sure you get lots of advice/consulation from different professionals. I hope you can find a good, gentle procedure to help the scars.

Illyria, I view you with nothing but admiration! Perhaps I was making a disguised inference about my own renowned caginess when inquiring if everything was OK behind the veil. I do prefer to shroud myself in crypticism rather than let slip any strata of personal detail.

Lisa, you are a picking superstar and I am so proud of you!

[anne]

Lisa, You have placed second in the olympics here, worthy of a silver medal! (Go buy yourself some sterling silver on me)

I'm optimistic that I will get there and Mora thanks for caring, I have researched the scar options alot and won't rush into anything. The derm gave me a cortisone shot in the hip Friday which seemed to help a bit and also gave me some erythomycin lotion to put on the puffy and warped spots right below my eye area. Well I thought it was helping but woke up this morning and it was red. It's healed over just won't go back to normal looking skin. I think I will trust Dr. Yarborough, there is a lot of good reviews on the scar forum in www.acne.org Anyone wanting to research scar treatments should go there and look under the scars heading under message boards.

Well hopefully I'll get more info on Monday and be more optimistic about it. I just want to have a clear plan where someone can help me with these problem areas, because it might not just be all hypertrophic swelling but maybe a real infection deep down so I shouldn't let it go. I think the swelling around the indents make the indents look worse. It just makes me mad that now I have to pay my own money

[News]

Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted in a little while, but not for any reasons of destruction. I have actually been doing very well. My face is really smooth right now, and I am only focusing on the future. I believe I am on about day 10. Not been too religious about coloring in the squares as I should.

I have rec'd some exciting news, I found out that I am pregnant! The funny thing is that I remember writing a post awhile back saying how I would TRY TO teach my kids better then to repeat this habit if I could, but I wouldn't plan for kids right now--too screwed up.

Well I may not have planned it, but someone planned it for me. Suddenly, though, I don't care as much about my skin, I realize that I have a higher purpose now. Don't get me wrong, I still plan to get my scar revised, but I just feel like that is second now.

I do agree with the "higher power" theory, spoken by another person who believes. I don't pray everyday, nor go to church, but I think this is a great time to focus on somebody else, and quit being so hard on me.

Congratulations to Lisa for making it to day 21! You are really unstoppable now, I'm sure you must realize that you are able to do anything you put your mind and soul into. That is something you can take with you to any challenge. Armed with this success!!I AM Super proud of you.

Glad to hear that Moratorium is back and still on the wagon, still giving advice and still being a great source of inspiration and wealth of knowlege!!

I got my Dermatologic by the way. You are right, it is wonderful little stuff.....I have only used it two days, but it is very light and doesn't look cakey! I love it, I will try more of their products most definitely.

Weclome to Seabreeze and Duchess, I know we have not spoken yet, but I like to meet new people on the same plight for success! So glad you are here, and taking the first step to self healing. (with support) You will find here a wealth of friendship and support, and understanding about everything nobody else does OUT IN THE REAL WORLD.

Nothing is embarrasing HERE, nothing is off limits, and that's what I appreciate about it so much. I use to write things and cry as I wrote them, and now I am stronger, and don't feel the need to tear up as much. The more I talk about the issues, the less painful that they become.

Anne, I also know how you feel about going to the Dr. and getting a gloomy report. I know how you feel, it's like.... you just want a professional to take you under their wing and say something that will be uplifting and inspiring....something to the effect of: "We can make that look so much better, let me help you. You're going to be fine!!"
---Don't worry, I have NEVER gotten the response I have wanted either. I was thinking I should go to someone that deals with burn victims and maybe disfigured ones, then he would think I was a treat or something and say, this little scar, NO PROBLEM!!

Yeah, I know the Dr.'s don't really do that, it is dissapointing. The answers I have gotten, are:

I might be able to help you a little, my doc said, but it won't be gone completely! My surgeon recommended a fat tissue transfer and laser surgery. The fat tissue is like collagen, but it is from your own body, so it is accepted better, and then it will fill in the depression areas around the scar that may be raised.

Anyhow, as it relates to doctors.. The worst is when they act sort of shocked like they have never seen such a thing, and you want to say....look dumbass, if I didn't think I needed your help, I wouldn't be here, now tell me if you can fix it, and save the drama for someone else.

I do have to run right now, but I wanted to share with you guys my news.....the thing is, I think when we find our PURPOSE, we realize, we were not put on this earth to pick as our primary source of entertainment or punishment, or release, or whatever reason we do it.

I'm going to take this issue public someday. Even if I have to be the spokesperson because nobody else wants to stand out in front of the world with me. I will do it.

Nobody will be supportive of the healing, unless they realize HOW WIDESPREAD IS the problem and I am getting so tired of that!

We need some money backing up this venture of CREATING our safe haven too! I'm giving, but not loaded! HA HA

I'll talk to Oprah and get back to you guys ha ha

Have a great one----
TIP FOR THE DAY:::::::::: WORRY MORE ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE WHO MAY NEED YOUR HELP THEN YOURSELF FOR A LITTLE WHILE, IT WILL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF YOU. REALIZE, THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE A LOT WORSE OFF THEN US.

IN MANY WAYS WE ARE LUCKY...AND SHOULD BE THANKFUL.---- .JUST UNLUCKY WITH THE PICKING.

[FLAWLESS DESIRE]

PS: THE LAST POST WAS FROM ME...
FLAWLESS DESIRE....I DON'T KNOW WHY I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT

[Poi]

I've decided to put my post in here because this is where everyone seems to go.

Hi every1, I would just like to say that I am extremely thankful, relieved, and blessed to have found this board. It is currently 4:58 in the morning and I have just finished an extremely long session infront of the mirror (i squeeze my arms cuz of those keratosis pilaris things, as well as my face, back, and chest). After reading all these posts I am so relieved to see that there are people just like me, and that I am not alone in this picking problem I have. I am amazed to see how much love and support is in one message board and I'd love to contribute.

I just printed out the 21 day sheet and I am wondering if anyone would like to join me today and be my buddy throughout this journey. Feel free to talk to me on AIM tha dime bag.

Thank you to everyone that's been an inspiration to me and thank you for creating a board for us all. Finally I feel at home and with people I can relate and talk to. Sorry for making this so long. Im going to go to sleep now, and dream of clear skin 21 days, 42 days, 63 days from now.

~Poi from California

[anne]

Welcome Poi, hope you had sweet dreams! This is a great board, filled with so much empathy and knowlege and support. Flawless Desire, you really made me smile with your positive outlook on life, and I am jealous you are pregnant, I want to get pregnant too sometime but really want to get my issues straight first too! I think being pregnant really would give you new respect for our bodies and definitely a higher purpose. I haven't been picking, but my scars still do get to me. And yea I hate the way doctors act like they are only there to take your money and give you the same creams they give everyone else and then schedule you another appointment in 4 weeks to give you a different cream within 5 minutes and of course more antibiotics because that solves everything right I will let you know how it goes with Dr. Yarborough, he should at least spend a decent amount of time with me at the consult since I am paying $135 for his time to just "talk."

I was proud of myself today, I just dabbed on a little concealer and went to the park with my dog, it was a pretty day and everyone was out. I knew my scars were still visible, but I stopped to talk to people who want to pet the dog and just tried to be happy! I think I'm getting better at just being imperfect

[Duchess Dutchy]

Anne, great new, many congrats with your tiny baby :-) My baby is almost 4 months old, and the oldest is 2 years old ;-)

Poi, welcome, I am a newbie as well ans started today with the 'program' LOL! I have just finished my first day, 20 to come.

Well ladies, I am going to bed now, it's midnight here in Europe, nightinight!

Love, Dutchy
p.s. I am happy to have taken this step and happy I completed a day without picking. My face looks great. And I have just gazed at my non-red back. The first time I haven't picked my back in many many years!

[Duchess Dutchy]

Sorry...Oops, I mean Flwless Desire: congratulations on your pragnancy, got the names mixed up...

[girl1818]

first, i'd like to give a big congratulations to lisa and flawlessdesire on their amazing times in their lives right now.

secondly, i'd like to VENT. I know that this threat is normally somewhat uplifting, and i'm sorry to be a downer...but i have just been really depressed about my skin these past few days. I have been able to go a full day, here and there, without picking. But then, i keep going on rampages. I don't know...i haven't been on rampages like these in a while. And...on top of it, i'm picking at NOTHING. You see, when i pick, and there are actually big pimples, or even, somewhat big pimples to pop...i don't feel so bad. But, since i spent 20 minutes today picking at nothing on my arms...and then turned to my face which i hardly ever do...well, then i start to feel very defeated. Perhaps, i am panicking because i have to go back to college in 14 days. I feel like i let myself down so much because i just remember last year saying "its ok...by next summer you'll stop doing this to yourself, and you'll be able to not die of heat and wear tank tops" And...well, here i am, and i might be worse of than last year. it stays hot at school until...hmm...october?? with no air in my apartment, and four curious roomates to live with who i hope have not caught onto my problem yet. oh yeah, and my boyfriend is there too whom i have not worked up the courage to tell yet i refuse to live like this for another year...i'm sick of getting anxious about formals and parties because i have no clue what i'm going to wear. i'm sick of having to search stores for long sleeved summer clothes...especially when i LOVE clothes and don't like to limit myself to what i can wear. I know that i am so fortunate in other ways and i am thankful, but sometimes, i guess i jsut need to throw a little pity fest for myself. i'm just very very frustrated right now...and had to vent to wonderful people who can sympathize with me. Whew, i feel a little better...i can't wait to be freaking pick free like lisa and mora...any tips champs?

[Poi]

I cant believe people have already responded to me. Thanks a lot guys you dont know how it feels. Two things I have to say. 1. I put the 21 day picture in my bathroom on the mirror and I am going to brush my teeth and wash my face after I press post and also fill in the first box. Day 1 complete, no picking! 2. It seems the majority of people I've seen post are women. My sister has a little acne as well and she is very self controlled. I'm kind of relieved to see that there are girls and women as well that do this (i had this vision of no girls doing this for some reason )

Girl1818 If you'd like to follow along w/ me and do the 21 day no picking thing I'd love to. We can keep eachother updated and I feel that if you have a buddy there to support and talk to you, the 21 days will go by a lot smoother and faster.

Thanks to everyone whose welcomed me. It really means a lot.

~Poi