Nelly's picking chronicle

[hoppe]

Hi Nelly

I am glad you are feeling well and in peace. That is great!

I am really sorry about what your mother said. I cannot believe she would say something so insensitive. And I cannot believe she really meant it. I hope she did not. It is good it did not affect you too much.

hoppe

[Nelly]

Thank you hoppe.

Well, my mom has a tendency of saying things without thinking them through. Also, she's very opinionated and loves telling people what to do. I think that's why she's lost pretty much every job she's ever had. In a way it's good that she's honest, but also it can be rather painful to be subjected to her criticism.

I'm pretty sure she said what she did because she's concerned about me and wants me to look good, but it just hit a sore spot with me. Then again, even I didn't know skin picking was a psychological disorder until recently, so I'm sure she doesn't either and obviously doesn't realize how hard it is to control and how sensitive I am about it..

Actually, now that I think abou it, a couple of months ago she caught me picking once and said "Why the hell don't you stop?", to which I replied "I'll stop picking the day you stop smoking." So she started yelling at me, saying that it's not that easy and that she needs other family members' emotional support, etc.. Well, so do I! What a double standard...

Nelly

[hoppe]

Hi Nelly

Thanks for your post

You feel like chatting for a little while? Or are you at work?

hoppe

[Nelly]

Yes and yes. I am at work, but I am really unproductive today (as you can tell from the number of posts I've written)... plus my boss is away. So sure I can chat with you.

Nelly

[amylou]

I am glad to hear that the lighting in the bathroom is helping! Please don't hurt yourself with that knife...hoppe was right we do care about you and your concern for the other people on here..we are here for you. Please do not hurt yourself with the knife..we do enough hurting by picking and think how mad we are afterwards. much love~amylou

[Nelly]

amylou,

Thank you for caring. I don't think I will ever really cut myself with a knife unless I completely lose my marbles one day.. It's nice to know that people around here are concerned about me though. I really appreciate it.

[amylou]

you should NEVER cut yourself..you could strike a vein and be seriously hurt or dead! Please be safe..we love you and support you!

[shihui as guest]

hey nelly. how have you been doing? hope you're feeling and doing great. i'm thinking of you.

[Nelly]

Thank you shihui. I'm sorry about your picking. I hope your wounds heal soon.

I've been doing ok. Lately the trend seems to be 2-3 days of no picking followed by a 1-hour picking session. The good thing is it doesn't feel like I'm causing too much damage.

I didn't pick last night and only a little bit the night before, but I picked for about an hour this morning. I don't think I created any new sores. Right now I only have one wound on my left cheek and the right side of my nose is pretty red. The rest of the damage involves minor redness that should fade soon enough. The main thing that pissed me off about this morning's picking session was that I wasted all this time on it and the fact that I was late for work when I was hoping to show up early. But at least my face doesn't hurt and I think I did a good job with the make-up (only took me about 10 minutes to cover up), so overall I'm feeling good.

Nelly

[hoppe]

Hi Nelly

Thank you so much for that cute picture. It really made me happy. I printed it and maybe I will put it on my mirror.

I am glad you feel good!!

hoppe

[Nelly]

Thank you, hoppe.

Well, last night I stayed at work pretty late and then took off for my parents' place at around 10 pm (they live a couple of hours away). It was snowing pretty bad and the roads were in rather poor condition. So I started thinking about how much it would suck if I got a flat tire in this weather and wouldn't you know it, next thing I know I've got a flat tire! I have free road assistance for my car, so I called the service centre and they sent somebody over, even though while I was waiting I started changing the tire myself and was already half way done.

Anyway, this incident was a blessing in disguise, because by the time I got to my parents' place it was 1 am and I was too exhausted to pick. Just to be sure, though, I left the lights off in the "black hole" bathroom where I always pick while I was washing up.

However, this morning I gave in to temptation and picked for about an hour. For some reason I thought nobody realized I was in the bathroom, which is why I was taken aback when my dad knocked on the door and said "Are you feeling sick or something?" I wanted to say "You have no idea" The good thing is that this interruption took me out of my trance and I stopped picking before I had caused any serious damage.

So now I'm feeling ok again. I think most of the damage is fairly minor, but maybe I'm just fooling myself.. Oh well.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Nelly

[amylou]

Oh no! I can't believe you got a flat tire! Thank goodnes for that service! I am glad your dad interupted you so you didn;t do too much damage..Snowing huh? Where do u live..its winter here and it's been in the 70's--80's the other day! It is pretty chilly today and rainy but i have to work tonight..so that will keep me busy. hope your doing well...much love! amylou

[Nelly]

Thanks, amylou. I live in Toronto, Canada. If you want to see chilly, you should come up here. Actually, the weather in Toronto is pretty mild compared to most other parts of Canada. Right now we've got a balmy 15 deg. F (-9 C) and overnight it's supposed to drop down to 3 F (-16 C).

I've been feeling pretty decent, except that I was in my brother's car when some crazy person smashed into it today.. I don't know what it is with me and cars lately; maybe I'm bad luck.

Hmm, it's funny while we were having lunch today, I just couldn't take my eyes off of my bro's forehead, which had a huge red zit on it with a white pus centre.. I couldn't believe that he just let it be and didn't try to scratch it off or anything. I guess I still have the mentality of a compulsive picker. I wonder if that will ever change..

Nelly

[amylou]

Oh no that is horrible! Are you okay?? and i thought it was cold here...51!!!!!

[hoppe]

Hi Nelly

I really hope nothing happened to you when someone hit your brother's car!!

Interesting with the weather. It is also really cold here and has been snowing for days now. -8 °C here right now. I am really longing for summer, sun etc ... .

hoppe