Hi guys,
Just read some of the posts and wanted to comment on a few.
Hoppe, I have been onthe verge of suicide before over the picking and general anxiety of not being able to stop and the hating myself.
I feel so low sometimes, it doesn't seem like anyone can help me back up, but I have forced myself to sleep on it, ((A WONDERFUL ESCAPE AS SOMEONE SAID.,..YES I DO A LOT OF SLEEPING!!)
Or get ahold of someone who loves me to pull me thru. I don't think anybody loves me the way I want to be loved or can clearly express it in the manner in which I would want them too, but I know it's only because I don't love myself enough to accept it, if they did. PLEASE REALIZE YOU HAVE A WHOLE FOLLOWING OF PEOPLE WHO ARE THERE FOR YOU NOW, AND IT'S AS EASY AS STARTING UP YOUR COMPUTER AND DROPPING US A LINE.
The moments that are the hardest for me now, is being around others who I feel are flawless, it causes me a lot of anxiety about myself and urges me to want to pick to get rid of anything, even if there is nothing there.
I try not to surround myself with anyone too perfect. How odd. When people are attracted to me, I question it, and that causes me even more anxiety to want to be perfect for them. Instead of accepting they like me how I am, I want to be better and deserving of their love.
Luckily I have a supportive boyfriend of 5 years, who lives with me now, this has helped. He knows somewhat about what I am going thru, but doesn't ask questions unless I bring it up. That I do appreciate. I feel good that he doesn't seem to look at me differently! THANK GOD FOR THIS. He knows of my desire to get cosmetic surgery and is fine with this wish.
One of the postings was talking about WHERE THEY DO MOST OF THEIR PICKING AND HOW IT CAN ESCALATE.
I can sympathize with the escallation of picking.
Originally my picking started with just face and eventually went to back and chest--along with face.
I have even recently been more irritated with the sight of my legs after shaving and such, and the slightest bump seen in a certain light really irritates me. Now I am thinking this is getting bad, I have let this disease take over nearly every part of my body. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS!
I am working out a system to combat it though. Trying to work harder on eliminating the cause, INSTEAD OF finding my own hairbrained solution.
Now... For shaving, I always make sure that I put on shaving cream and let it sit for awhile to soften the hair and prepare the skin for the razor.There is also something called bikini zone,and I use that also to help prevent rashing. It says it is for the bikini area, but I use it on legs too.
Then after shaving I always put on neosporin and dress quickly.
That has helped quite a bit, but I always need to follow this routine or I will fall off the wagon. (PS: GO TO THE DISCOUNT DOLLAR STORE FOR CHEAP NEOSPORIN KNOCK OFF IN THE PERSONAL CARE SECTION, YOU CAN GET 5 TUBES FOR THE PRICE OF ONE NEOSPORIN.) Does anybody else have tips on the shaving bumps? They really aren't that noticeable and probably would go away on their own, but you know how it goes.
For my face, I figured I have to clear up the existing sores, before I can feel good enough about my face to leave it alone. So I went to drugstore.com and ordered OSPAMOX. It smells horrible, but is suppose to clear up skin infections and bacteria. It is an antibiotic, anti-inflammatory and I have found that it works on my brain too (ha ha) only because I pretend it is a "cure-all" and each time I take one, it can help me but it will only work if I leave my skin alone, and let it do it's job. Eventually the skin healed.
Now, I feel like there is hope, and I know each time I take this little pill, it is helping my skin to heal. It makes me feel better knowing that this is not going to last for ever.
I also do use noxema in the morning, for about twenty minutes before I shower, I massage it in. As it seems to bring a cooling effect to the sores, and moistens up the dry parts so they can wipe off in the shower and reveal fresher skin, it also brings down the swelling after a lot of pressure I put on an area.
I do wear foundation that has benzoyl peroxide in it, so if I feel like a trip to the bathroom might cause more harm then good, I might just grab a cold cloth and hold it to my face in bed. It isn't too horrible, when you dont wear the really greasy make-up! If I fall asleep with the foundation, I don't suffer for it later. As it does not typically cause too many zits because it is specially formulated.
The kicker is it looks kind of cake-y, on during the summer, and I hate that MASK look. But I am still waiting for my dermatoligic which was ordered. I will try some of their other creams as well if I like this.
I am glad both hoppe and Illyria liked the idea of providing a safe haven for CSP patients. A weekend retreat. I am even more sold on it, now that there is interest. I have been thinking even more about it.
There would be several parts to the facility.
I think group sessions with other people, would be one part of the day, makeup skin care expert sessions, and meeting with "understanding" dermatologists would be on the regular staff, as well as cosmetic surgeons, and a team of "empathetic" counselors with background in this kind of thing....to help to asist us in getting better and staying that way. Facials, dieticians and other fun things would teach us about our skin and bodies and how to treat them like holy temples instead of temples of doom. Plus plenty of fun activities to keep our mind off things while we were healing and being pampered.
There is really a whole team of people needed to bring about the confidence we are looking for. Even if I do kick the picking habit, I still am in search of the products and dr.s that will give me the long term results I am so desiring, without this, I lose my will and motivation to keep up with it.
I don't know when this will happen, but it is going to be a goal of mine to start one such thing. I will definitely call on everyone for their support, ideas, and hope that you will want to even help this come to fruition.
Great to hear that Moratorium is still keeping up with the committment. I am happy that my face is nearly healed, I didn't have a pick free day, but I didn't have too many episodes. I am always leary to get too cocky though, because as soon as I feel pretty good, the pick deamons come and take it all away, so one day at a time.
Looking forward to hearing how everyone's day is going today and if you have any new tips or helpful insight!
MY TIP OF THE DAY FOR ME: IS GOING TO BE ...DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!! & FLUSH OUT THOSE IMPURITIES!!
GOOD DAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL WOUNDED SOULS.
I am being positive!
I'm spending less time in the bathroom too cause I'm just no thinking about checking out my skin..cus i know the less i look at it the quicker it'll seem to clear up so yay!!! 
Anyways, it may also be true that she has stopped using meth and the obsession of picking stayed with her.. that's what happened to me. I've also denied the fact that I was using when I was, so it's hard to tell. 
I have to admit I don't like looking ugly 
The rest of my face is great accept for these spots that I feel ruin me. So even though I can feel good that I haven't picked, I will probably obsess about the ugly damage I've already caused. It's weird how the picking urge has left me the last few days. I think being out and busy alot today helped me. I need to try to stay more busy. Well chat later. Oh, and tetris is a great way to get tranced when you feel the urge. Something about making those pieces fit perfect and the little lines just disappearing making you feel like a success--then when it gets faster and faster and your lines get higher you feel that rush-LOL.