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Post by feeling awful on Jun 9, 2007 22:12:22 GMT -5
i have been clinically depressed for about 10 years. i am in therapy and take 3 different medications. the only response i get when i try to discuss my terrible face skin picking is, stop picking. doesn't anyone realize that if it were that easy my face would be crystal clear, that it is not something i want to do, it is something i cant control, and that i am hurting so badly b/c i have gotten to the point that i am locked inside other than work b/c my skin is too horrible to even try and covering up with makeup?? how do i stop? how can i help fix my skin before i destroy it any longer?
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Post by LPears on Nov 7, 2007 22:21:55 GMT -5
So I've only recently discovered this site and the fact that this condition is one that is shared with other people, but I have realized for some time that it's not normal. I also suffer from Bipolar II disorder (cyclothymia since I was 12 which later turned into BPII around 17), and Executive functioning problems (ADDish stuff), which may be linked to the reason my brain seems to be all over the place.
I pick mostly at my face, even though I don't have a lot of acne, so I make it a lot worse. I also pick at my lips and pull my hair out and scratch my scalp, chew on my cheeks, clean under my fingernails obsessively, and sometimes pull out excessive hairs on my eyebrows or legs. It doesn't seem to get particularly worse when I'm depressed, more so when I'm very stressed, which can sometimes lead to depression. The painful feelings linked to it likely contributes even more to many peoples depression.
My medication has helped in someways in that it makes me less susceptible to stress, and when I lower the dosage my picking gets a lot worse, but it's definitely more than just that. I think that people with this condition are probably more likely to be susceptible to depression because the OCD nature of it likely points to an imbalance in brain chemistry, just like depression. However, given my own experience (although I don't take anti-depressants, I take anti-convulsants because anti-depressants actually make BP worse..) I would say that although I would recommend using anti-depressants for treating the depression, some form of OCD treatment might be much more successful in addressing the mechanisms for this in the brain.
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Post by Looking Outward on Apr 6, 2008 14:35:56 GMT -5
I'm 32 this month, been depressed all my life. Started on meds around age 22. There are good years and bad years. Lately has been bad.
In retrospect, I've had my skin picking problem for about 2 years. These past few weeks, I've started on my scalp, and all picking has started to become terribly compulsive, and I've found myself using tweezers more often. My back and arms have always looked hideous, as does my face sometimes. Then I started on my chest, and I'm terribly ashamed of what I've done to my breasts. Now, my scalp is usually sore. I have so many scars on my back & arms, also my face, now my breasts. I feel pathetic.
I don't know where this behavior came from. I've ignored it and denied it. Then the other day I got up the nerve to google 'skin picking.' What I found almost brought tears to my eyes. I had no idea other people do this, I thought I was just being my disgusting self and lacking will power/self-discipline. I'm so relieved that I can get help for this other than having another med thrown at me.
BTW, I don't know if this is a tip or something to avoid, as I cannot recall at what point my picking wound up becoming so invasive and time consuming. Last year I had my first experience in using a steam room. It was so relaxing, invigorating, and helped me get clean (because lately my depression has affected me mostly in matters of hygiene). I'm thinking if I had access to a steam room at least once a week, I would not feel any need to 'empty my pores.'
We'll see, because I'm looking a gym or someplace to go to....
Thank you so much, all of you, for your empathy. Signing up to this site today has been my first step in attacking this problem.
God Bless.
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Post by hints from heloise on Jul 7, 2008 13:17:24 GMT -5
reading from the excellent website 'stop picking on me' where the writer mentions that repeated scab picking and picking can cause cancerous squabous cells to develop over time...thats heavy stuff...to think you can cause your own cancer is a heavy fact to swallow, but its true. my aunt recently died of cancer, and to think of a pitiful habit possibly through years of negative repetiions (think of all those picks sending a remarkable undending wave of feedback into your own consciousness and psyche) i wouldn't be surprised by this habit bearing serious consequences...perhaps the worst thing is to stay in hiding (you can't hide anyway--whether or not it is visible damage to your face, you have caused yourself PAIN and receptive people can feel that-) go INTO the world, away from mirrors, away from the sicknesses of cosmetics and magazines and the televsions, away from sources of scrutiny, get closer to those you can help, maybe help those who have TRUE reason to suffer, open a community garden, volunteer for people suffering terminal diseases, the elderly, children at risk. GET OUT and change the world, stop trying to change your face and let nature do its healing...treat yourself like a goddess eat the best foods, fresh food, excercise, healthy influences for all your senses. get in touch with your community and those who love unconditionally, learn to love unconditionally animals, children, elderly, then move on to what is more difficult....YOURSELF and others like you......love, love, accept, allow, connect, accept, allow, and connect. LOVE! replace each harsh word gesture and thought with a beautiful stroke until you have made a new life for yourself...habits of love, habits of peace and cultivation of beauty, silence, stillness. give up your hands to god or the good forces of the universe, pay attention to your hands, treat them as tools of good work, allow them to be guided by good intentions and when 'bad spirits' begin to enter into them, in a moment of confusion, anxiety, loss, dissapointment just drop them, take a pose of non-action, drop to the ground, you can pray, you can just let go of participation in that act (picking or any negative action), you can open your senses and just listen to the world, and not participate with the negative voices of illusion, observe them for what they really are-echoing voices of judgements-self, parents, lovers, peers, self. observe the voices but don't participate in action or emotion. be still, breath. do something loving, or nothing at all . above all, DON:T PARTICIPATE! my mom used to 'play dead' like a bug on a rug...thats my new credo...when the habit comes, i play 'dead' and experience what can never die...spirit, energy...whatever negative that is occuring in that moment is just PASSING ME BY...i am not IT, it is not ME....mirages, illusions......they fade away! i don't believe medications are the key to depression and OCD, it is a matter of behaviour and getting to the root cause, which is something that is greater than ourselves and cen never be 'dug out'...our own genetic strengths and weaknesses, and a society that is largely built upon image, and scrutiny of that image, instead of spirit, character, creativity, and love.
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Post by guest on Jul 7, 2008 21:53:01 GMT -5
Hi,
This is angelwing but my account is still pending approval after a couple of weeks so I will just post as a guest in the mean time.
I once picked at my skin because I was depressed; depressed because I compared and judged myself against my then on - off again boyfriend. He was a type A overachiever and critical of the faults of others. I guess when you get to close to someone that doesn't truly love you back it damages you to stay too long. Well I stayed too close for four years and eventually spiralled into depression, body dysmorphia, and skin picking. Of all these by far skin picking has been the worst to cope with because the pain you feel is evident for all the world to see on the outside of your body.
I remember when I first said to my dad, I think there's something wrong with me. I must have been in first or second year university. Not older than eighteen or nineteen years. Still a baby. Well since then I have let it spiral out of control for four years. In the blink of an eye...I can't believe how fast it passes. If I could go back I would give that young girl a hug. I can sing her praises now but the naive little creature was in a lions den with no comprehension of how to protect and nuture herself.
My dad was a godsend. He searched my entire city to find the best doctor for me; which was close to my university and I would go with my Mum to my appointments.
To cut a long story shorter I would not be functioning today if it weren't for their love and support, even when I was being a b!tch to them.
Strangely a story I remember from my early childhood echoes what my life was to become in later years. As a primary school kid I went with my class for swimming lessons at the local swimming pools. My teacher endeavouring to entertain the lot of us while waiting for the swimming coach mentioned a young girl who had been a student of hers years back. The little girl dreaded swimming lessons and refused to get changed into her bathers at the pools. My teacher tried to calm her down and coerce her into changing to no avail. Later she spoke with the mother of the child explaining what had happened. The story went like this; the little girl and her family had moved to Australia from Vietnam. When they had been living in Vietnam (for reasons not explained to us) the little girl had been tortured and the reason she dreaded swimming lessons and the bathers in particular was that her legs, arms, and torso where covered all over in circular scars where her skin had been seared with the ends of cigarette butts. I remember thinking how horrible that was. They ended up arranging a rash suit (like a wetsuit but made of bathing suit material) for the girl which covered up her scars and she was happy then to join in swimming lessons with the other kids.
To think that I would scar up my own body in a similar fashion would have been unfathomable to me then.
Although I am no longer depressed I still habitually pick and I have stopped feeling guilty so for me it is just rather an ugly annoyance and hindrance to any romance in my life. I think I may have used it as a mechanism to avoid romance but I am ready to let go. It is part of me now and I feel that my scars will be characteristic of what I have survived. I no longer wish to change myself and although my skin will never be the same I have realised that it is not of utmost importance in the scheme of things. Now to break the habit!
Love angelwing
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Post by elean on Jul 11, 2008 18:45:53 GMT -5
I am shocked to see what I am reading!! i am a 17 year girl and I have been picking compulsively for about a year. It is such a relief to know why I pick and that there is hope for me to stop. I am going to talk to my therapist about it as soon as possible. I think I might be repressing some negative childhood experience or something because I remember being depressed a lot as a child. I also abuse drugs, mostly weed and alcohol and sometimes coke and X. I am also bulimic.
When I pick my face I feel like I am cleaning it and improving my complexion. When I step back and see what I did to my face, I feel very depressed. There have been many occasion were I have skipped out on social events because of my skin. I need to get my life together! lol
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Post by karina on Jul 23, 2008 4:51:38 GMT -5
I THOUGHT THAT I HAD ACTUALLY TYPED THIS POST AND HAD TO RE-READ IT OVER AND OVER,THIS IS THE EXACT WELL 99% OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN,STILL AM GOING THROUGH WITH THE SKIN PICKING. GOODLUCK XXXX I'm 32 this month, been depressed all my life. Started on meds around age 22. There are good years and bad years. Lately has been bad. In retrospect, I've had my skin picking problem for about 2 years. These past few weeks, I've started on my scalp, and all picking has started to become terribly compulsive, and I've found myself using tweezers more often. My back and arms have always looked hideous, as does my face sometimes. Then I started on my chest, and I'm terribly ashamed of what I've done to my breasts. Now, my scalp is usually sore. I have so many scars on my back & arms, also my face, now my breasts. I feel pathetic. I don't know where this behavior came from. I've ignored it and denied it. Then the other day I got up the nerve to google 'skin picking.' What I found almost brought tears to my eyes. I had no idea other people do this, I thought I was just being my disgusting self and lacking will power/self-discipline. I'm so relieved that I can get help for this other than having another med thrown at me. BTW, I don't know if this is a tip or something to avoid, as I cannot recall at what point my picking wound up becoming so invasive and time consuming. Last year I had my first experience in using a steam room. It was so relaxing, invigorating, and helped me get clean (because lately my depression has affected me mostly in matters of hygiene). I'm thinking if I had access to a steam room at least once a week, I would not feel any need to 'empty my pores.' We'll see, because I'm looking a gym or someplace to go to.... Thank you so much, all of you, for your empathy. Signing up to this site today has been my first step in attacking this problem. God Bless. |
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Post by Nogoodpicking on Jul 27, 2009 20:53:57 GMT -5
I am a picker, also 28. I have been doing it for years, but this past month-2 months, it has gotten a lot worse. As I get older, my skin doesn't heal as fast, and I am also ashamed to go into public after I've done this to myself.
My man says I should go to therapy, and it would be a good idea if I had the money, but I don't. I do feel like anti-anxiety meds will help b/c it would prob. make me tired. And, I want to overcome this on my own.
I am facing new challenges at school and work, and I find that this has increased my tendencies to pick on my face. It does lead to a little bit of depression...but this makes sense as it only makes me more selfconscious than I am.
I'm not sure what to do...I am hoping that willpower and the motivation to be as beautiful as I can be when I treat my face well will solve the problem.
Just glad to know I'm not the only one.
Don't think that meds will solve everything. Take some time to get out with friends instead of picking...that's my plan. And remember the feeling you get when you are faced with going out in public to help you overcome this disfiguring habit...
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Post by Desiree on Dec 30, 2009 23:54:07 GMT -5
Hi! I am 27 and just found out about, or I guess, came to terms with the fact that I have this OCD. I have always known somehow but was in denial of it. I have had this since I was a child. I find it very frustrating that everyone around me seems to think I should just be able to stop, or wear gloves 24/7 to counter-act it. I feel rediculous, but I can't help it. I really can't just STOP. It calms me in some odd way. I may not have it severe these days, but I STILL have it and it STILL continues to upset me. I notice that I am lacking in confidence, and it occured to me that its because of the result of the picking. My skin is always red and I always know its there. I really need support, to know someone else understands. I do not know a single soul who has it. I don't know where else to go.....please help!
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Post by sfeffdd on Jan 29, 2010 1:06:42 GMT -5
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Post by Lindsay Robinson on Feb 2, 2010 23:13:22 GMT -5
I have suffered from picking since my 12th birthday  I am now 31 years old and can't seem to stop the insanity. I can relate to so many of the postings and it breaks my heart to read the stories! I have tried everything from face masks to fake nails to wearing gloves. I feel safe anytime I have a barrier, then I'm less likely to pick. I function normal in the day, but it is when I come home that the disaster begins. I feel awful afterwards and become very mad at myself! It's almost as if when things are going well in my life I sabatoge it by creating attention to my biggest insecurity... My skin. I think I'm an attractive person, but know I would have so much more confidence if my skin was clear. It is by far my biggest insecurity in life. I agree that I think we are suffering on the inside and act in this way so it reflects on the outside. I was supposed to have a date tomorrow and canceled due to my wounds that are ruining my face. It saddens me that I prevent myself from having fun. I wish there was a magic wand to cure all of us! Be strong! |
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I am now 31 years old and can't seem to stop the insanity. I can relate to so many of the postings and it breaks my heart to read the stories! I have tried everything from face masks to fake nails to wearing gloves. I feel safe anytime I have a barrier, then I'm less likely to pick. I function normal in the day, but it is when I come home that the disaster begins. I feel awful afterwards and become very mad at myself! It's almost as if when things are going well in my life I sabatoge it by creating attention to my biggest insecurity... My skin. I think I'm an attractive person, but know I would have so much more confidence if my skin was clear. It is by far my biggest insecurity in life. I agree that I think we are suffering on the inside and act in this way so it reflects on the outside. I was supposed to have a date tomorrow and canceled due to my wounds that are ruining my face. It saddens me that I prevent myself from having fun. I wish there was a magic wand to cure all of us! Be strong!