What helped me quit picking

[expicker]

I had been picking my face, chest, and upper back since I was 12 y/o (now I am 30). My picking was really bad and I could not stop for 17 years. Most of the time my face looked like raw steak, and was covered with wounds and scabs.
I started seeing a psyciatrist about a year ago for depression, social anxiety, and OCD (I had other symptoms of OCD besides skin picking: checking things over and over, repetitive thoughts).
My doctor put me on Zoloft, and gradually I went up to 200 mg a day, and stayed on it for 3 months. I also worked on myself to discover the exact deepest reason I had to pick my skin - in my case I found it was a perfectionistic desire to check and inventory my every single pore - check if there was oil in each and every pore. Ever since I got clear understanding of the mechanism of thoughts that triggered picking, I was able to stop. I just realized I can never check each and every pore, it was unreasonable, so I stopped. I was very surprised how easily I stopped - after 17 frustrating years of hiding my face.
At this poing my face has completely cleared up, I don't have to wear tons of concealer like I used to. I am so happy.
So, the combination of 200 mg Zoloft and some serious soul-searching has helped me. I hope my story will help somebody else. Good luck, and don't give up, if I could overcome sking picking, you can too!

[Lucy]

Thanks for posting. I think that is my reason too. I really want to stop because I hate going on like this. I am trying so hard. I know that I can and I hope I stop like you did.

[Kris]

Dear friends, I've been reading your reply's and have been very moved. I've been so ashamed for so long about my behavior. My best friend past away three years ago, and told me to stop picking at my skin. I didn't, and it does look really bad now. I'm 36, and have suffered greatly because of what I've done to my face and body. I used to be considered beautiful by men and now get sad stares. It's difficult to admit when you know you've made such terrible choices and not loved yourself more. Thank you for making me realize I'm not alone, and that I can learn to accept and love myself as I am now. I hope we can all become strong and fight this compulsion to destroy our beauty. -K

[tryingtoquit]

"Destroying my beauty"...well put Kris, I've been doing that for years. I will think of that phrase next time I look in the mirror.

[thumbelina]

I have just tried for the first time ever to stop picking. I have started recording on a dictaphone every time i pick and so far iam having shorter picking sessions and have realised how big a problem it is. the hardest thing is the compulsive urge to pick. I just wanted to share how proud of myself i am at present ;D

[workinprogress]

thumbelina:

Great going. Your success is inspiring. It kind of makes me envious. I have been recording my picks but on an online program. It is hard to capture it in the moment because the time passes and its hard to remember what triggered it (emotion wise). The dictaphone is a great idea. Could you tell me more? Also, I am curious to know when you and everyone else gets the urge to pick. What is going through your mind? Is it anger, shame, tired...
I am at that stage and also after joining ZT I realized that i pick without knowing it.

I am on Prozac and Wellbutrin. Prozac to fight depression and hopefully picking and Wellbutrin to activate me because the Prozac make me very dull and laissez-faire. I am also on it because I have binge eating disorder and the Wellbutrin helps me with ADD.
What a nice little mental illness recipe I have cooking, huh.

Anyway, please share with us your success. I am happy for you and a little jelous too

[anna30]

Hi there.

I also started picking at age 12 and am now 30 yrs old. Sounds like it has to do with puberty, hormones etc. I also developed chronic anxiety in jr. high and didn't get help until I was 17. Over the years I've tried desperately to stop picking. Some days are better than others. That worst part is that when I was with my ex-bf (the father of my son) I picked a lot. He would yell at me (yeah, he was abusive) to stop picking. Now I have small scars of my forehead from the time I was with him. They aren't that obvious (not pits) but they bother me and remind me of a not-so-good time in my life.

Lately I've been picking my buttcheeks and have plenty of red blotchy scars there. My scalp has also been a favourite spot. The pore thing I can totally relate to. I've thought about it that way too and the blackhead picking has gone down quite a bit. I was obsessed with cleaning out eat pore, even the ones on my back so I'd pick and scratch to get the sebum out.

My mom picks her scalp, but I had a teacher in grade 6 who also picked compulsively, in front of the class! She's play with what she picked and it really grossed us out, but then I started too. Ick.

I keep trying to stop. I use moisturizer on my skin now and it's helping with the butt problem. I also use Neostrata and sunblock on my face, and cleanse properly, which is working too. The hair thing I still need to get over (scalp I mean) and I need to stop picking my back.

Reading all your posts has cheered me up so much. Thanks for writing my story!! It's so shameful. I know how you all feel about the hiding. Fortunately, I don't pick 'til the skin bleeds, but I'm alway hunting for what's clogging up my skin.

Take care all. Good luck in your quest to stop picking.

[sos]

Hi to all,
I had a male friend along time ago tell me that he thought that I picked because I was in so much pain on the inside that I had to show it on the outside...I was very moved by that because it was true...and for him and no one else to notice really made me happy...I have to talk to myself all the time to get myself to stop and the urge to pass.
ox,
sos

[reformedpicker]

Sos I think your friend is right- and isn't it a wonderful feeling to have someone say something so insightful like that- to feel like someone knows you as well as yourself and really 'gets' it. I have to admit how much I miss that feeling I have to stop thinking about it or I'll start missing my boyfriend EXboyfriend- I must remind myself, once again.

On another note, I had an interesting conversation with a doctor and he shared his theory with me- he says all physical ailments are a manifestation of emotional problems- when kids have tummyaches it's rarely because of food, more often they are worried/ upset or something which results in their stomach being more sensitive... and so on- it makes sense because when we are stressed our immune system is not as strong- it's amazing to see the chain reaction emotions can lead to.

My therapist thinks I pick because I don't know how to deal with anger- I pretend everything is fine and don't say anything when people make me mad- I shove it all in, put on a happy face and then come home and pick the hell out of my face- I told him that the positive side of this is that I'm very nice to others- he's not buying my rationalizing, which is good- I'm starting to see that I'm not only hurting myself (which is the worst part I am learning) but I'm also doing others a disservice by not letting them know when they have hurt me or made me mad- it's like I send the message that it's ok to treat people in that way and it will repeat over and over and over.

So great- now I know but what am I supposed to do? I CAN'T CONFRONT PEOPLE!!! I am the peacekeeper- I have ALWAYS been the peacekeeper- change comes slow, but I'm trying to learn and change what I can, as I can.

I think it's only to be expected that you would have lots of pain inside of you- you've been through some tough stuff. Maybe being able to talk about it here will help you get it out and then stop picking. I hope so!

[chris]

Your right R.P.,

It is usually because of emotional and phyiscal abuse that cause most of these problems...I was sexually malested as a child by a family member :'(and I know that's where most if not all of my issues come from...I was always the peacemaker in the family along with my sister ...I know that as bad as my experiences were in my childhood that I can not go around making poor choices and using the fact that my f'd up childhood gives me permission to be an product of that...As I get older I heal more and more and don't blame or feel shame :-[with what life has dealt me...it's just something that I went through for God knows why...
O.X.,
SOS

[Nancy]

Here's an interesting theory one Doctor had: that I pick because I "feel picked on"? I'm not sure whether it really applies or not. I started when hormones started up, and now that they are winding down, I am doing slightly better (slightly, meaning less frequency). None of the OCD drugs helped me, but a Dermatologist gave me BUSPAR for ANXIETY, thinking it might help, and I think it has helped enormously. Sad thing though, my 12-year-old daughter is starting to pick. I hate to see her set herself up for all the misery from picking that I have gone through in my life. If I could take each and every bump and pimple for her I would....
Nancy

[Jennifer]

I have two battles to fight when it comes to my skin. One is that I am in school and cannot afford to see a dermatologist regularly. I have free care with the state but the dermatologist I see there is very impatient with me. The other problem is that I cannot seem to stick to a regimen. I have tried benzacline, retna a, differin, benzol peroxide, pro active, all the cyclines, birth control, and spironolactone. I will be a pharmacist next year, and I am dumb founded. Every big test or assignment I have makes me break out and then I pick. I feel like I pick because I want to get all the zits popped so that they will heal faster by drying up and go away. Some of them that pop easily go away the next day, but the ones that I think will pop and don't --get red and sore. I then get discouraged because I try even harder to get those ones out. Next day my skin is so damaged that I can't stand to look at it. When I feel the little lumps under my skin or see the clogged pore, I have to have it out or it drives me insane. I know a lot about medications-- and know what I need, still I find it hard to get someone to prescribe it for me because they insist on using something that I have already tried. It is so frustrating. For one you have to see a therapist to get antidepressants and then see a dermatologist to get the other medications. And on top of it all--- most creams for the face aren't covered by insurance and cost at least 100 dollars. I have got to find I way to control my urge to pick - because I can't even stop long enough to find out if I am the one causing it to stay broke out. That way I won't have to see all of these doctors.

[shutter]

I can tell you for sure that alot of your breaking out is cause by putting you hands on your face. I know what you mean when you have to get it out I'm the same way. I have cause damage and scars. I read some where that when you pop a bump that the bacteria that caused the zit in the first place gets pushed deeper into the skin. I have was put on acutane a couple of years ago that did help with the cystic acne but I still have what I call regular zits. Mine are still deep into the skin not pop and go away the next day. 1month ago I had lazer treatmemt that kills the bacteria in the deepest layer of the skin it's suppose to clear up acne for good. It take 2 months for the process to work. You skin has to get worse before it gets better and I've got 1 more month to go. I'ts not to bad of course I have made it worse than it has to be. I have not picked in 2 days try it with me!!!

[Mechele]

Hey Jenn, I guess $ may still be an issue, but I have to suggest Accutane to you. I'm sure you're familiar with it if you will soon be a pharmacist. It's a 5 month regimen and is SUPPOSED to shrink your oil glands and make acne/blemishes decrease or totally disappear. I had an oil slick for a face, so I am now on my second trial (first trial was 6 yrs ago) and I'm in my 2nd month. There is alot of drying, but the wonderful thing is that I don't feel like I'm making my face greasier by putting moisturizer on it (although I already know that no matter what type of skin I have, I need to apply a moisturizer...but it still feels yuck.) My rationale for going on Accutane once again was that I didn't have the willpower to stop picking, and so I thought if there was nothing to pick at, I'd stop, but I haven't totally stopped, I just haven't picked AS MUCH. I'm also a compulsive washer (face and body), so I haven't felt the great urge to wash as frequently as I did before because my body doesn't feel oily. What'll I do when I'm off of the med? We'll see how my skin is. But for now, I'm just trying to avoid picking TODAY. Maybe if you can get some financial assistance, you could attempt to try Accutane. (And there is also a "generic" form that workds just as well) It is not a total cure, but it helps. Oh, just in case you are unfamiliar, Acc. can cause SEVERE birth defects if you become pregnant during the time that you are taking it, and even during the next month or so afterwards, but of course if you decide to try it, your dermatologist will be required to go over that with you.
Good luck.

[Emaliz]

Hi,i'm a new member and i've just joined thanks to this person.I came upon this site out of sheer desperation as i've had a really bad day and picked every spot and blocked pore on my face, i have been trying very hard lately but yesterday i tried a new face mask and woke up this morning with big sore spots all over my face so i lasted til about lunch time (which is very good for me) then picked every single one.I say thanks to this person in particular as it was when i read there message that alot of things made sense to me and i called my therapist straight away to make an appointment whilst on the phone i admitted to her that i have been picking my spots etc for years and that i want to do something about it rather than hiding it as i have done for about 12 years. I have never admitted it to anyone but my partner before but that hasn't helped so far just add's to my embarrassment but now i feel ready to admit to the world what i do and hopefully i will start to be on the right path of a pick free life.I'm so glad i've found this site as i would of just carried on as normal dealing with my addiction on my own with no support and i would never of admitted it to anyone.I'm feeling positive so i'l try my best to make tomorrow day 1 of a pick free life i will check this site everyday and write a little note of how i'm doing i will be completly honest as i couldn't do anything else!So any new members out there keep going you can do it if i can

Guest-expicker said:

I had been picking my face, chest, and upper back since I was 12 y/o (now I am 30). My picking was really bad and I could not stop for 17 years. Most of the time my face looked like raw steak, and was covered with wounds and scabs.
I started seeing a psyciatrist about a year ago for depression, social anxiety, and OCD (I had other symptoms of OCD besides skin picking: checking things over and over, repetitive thoughts).
My doctor put me on Zoloft, and gradually I went up to 200 mg a day, and stayed on it for 3 months. I also worked on myself to discover the exact deepest reason I had to pick my skin - in my case I found it was a perfectionistic desire to check and inventory my every single pore - check if there was oil in each and every pore. Ever since I got clear understanding of the mechanism of thoughts that triggered picking, I was able to stop. I just realized I can never check each and every pore, it was unreasonable, so I stopped. I was very surprised how easily I stopped - after 17 frustrating years of hiding my face.
At this poing my face has completely cleared up, I don't have to wear tons of concealer like I used to. I am so happy.
So, the combination of 200 mg Zoloft and some serious soul-searching has helped me. I hope my story will help somebody else. Good luck, and don't give up, if I could overcome sking picking, you can too!