monday, monday

[Chris]

Hi Rae,

I hope today is better for you...just wanted to say hi and we love and think about you...
o.x,
SOS

[fiffle]

Hey, Raerae,

I said I would join your thread, so here I am.

So is today a good day or a bad day for you then?

For me it is still a good day, and it is already 4.45pm.

My long sleeve thing is really helping me from not being able to actually get at my arms (and the logic is if I can't see them, I can't get tempted).

I find my hardest time is just before I go to bed. It is so easy to just sit there, all comfortable and warm in bed, and pick like mad until I'm too tired to carry on.

I have therefore started wearing long sleeves to bed as well (but I am sure I will have to stop this at some point when the weather does actually get better!).

Hope your doing OK, and will catch up with you all again tomorrow.

[raerae]

many thanks chris

im doing good- despite being premenstrual!

my face is still ok, and i think im breaking the habit of wanting to have 'sessions' in front of the mirror. the thing that almost tripped me up was godawful lighting in a clothes store fitting room (y'know, the kind that shows every imperfection!). i found myself leaning in to the mirror, fingers poised... no, no, no!!!

my arm has gotten over its healing hiatus and is looking so much better. its taking looong to get back to pre-pick skin, but i can remember how bad my arm was looking a week or so ago, and how much healing has gone on, and that keeps me feeling positive.

something thats really been working for me is, everytime i feel the urge to pick, hijacking the energy of the urge and putting it into something helpful- like applying cocoa butter or putting on a clay-based face mask. it seems to satisfy my brain like picking does... i mean, used to!

i had the first day of my training placement on friday. it went okay (well, better than okay, but i dont want to tempt fate!). im so glad my face is better cos i work with young children and they have no tact! one time a little girl asked me, 'have you got the chicken pops on your face?' really loudly. i was so embarassed!

i need to be able to wear short sleeves without attracting comments from six year olds! mind you, they always find something to mention... another time a little girl strolled up and said something along the lines of 'i like your hair tied back, it doesnt look so messy'. i thanked her- she was paying me a compliment!- but secretly i was totally miffed at getting style tips from a year 1 kid! lol

lots of love. rae xxx

[raerae]

ooh fiffle, i took so long writing that i didnt see your post appear! glad youre here, tho'- itll definitely be a motivation! today has been very good picking-wise, thanks for asking! nevertheless, i must go do my salt scrub/ cocoa butter/ savlon thing right away- i need to keep the routine going

i forgot to say that since i started zt my boyf says hes definitely noticed big changes, both in my behaviour and in the condition of my skin. yay!

rae xxx

[bd8300]

Hi everybody-it's Lisa, (need a zt partner ASAP thread) and today i will be joining zt-hopefully for real. I have a huge skin picking problem. I only pick at my face, and it's really killing me and affecting my life. On Friday i am going on vacation for a week and i can't believe i wasn't able to heal my skin-i just kept picking. I don't know if it's anxiety, or maybe i'm just trying to rush the healing process (which is impossible if you keep picking like me).

I just picked up some polysporin ointment and used it over night, and it is helping, but i need to keep it on for as long as possible and hope for the best. I really hate myself right now. I'm so worried about this trip! Overall the coondition of my skin is good-no breakouts, but i tend to pick at little tiny blackheads and when i'm not successful i create a scar that i can't leave alone. So basically what i keep picking at are scars now.

Sorry for writing so much, we need to stick together. I've noticed that my picking has gotten worse these past 2 years b/c i keep picking and picking and won't let things heal on there own, whereas prior to that if i picked i would allow the spot to heal for a week and i was fine. Also my time in the bathroom is increasing by the day.

I'm praying for you all, let's fix our problem! I'm so proud of those of you who have remained pick free-good job! You are my inspiration.

Let us be PATIENT and strong willed.

May God bless you all.

[raerae]

hi lisa! glad youve joined us! and thanks for the words of encouragement

ok people, time for me to 'fess up... i picked . not the worst ive ever done but by no stretch of the imagination can i say i kept it zt today. i was very cross with myself and i cried... boohoo

however, there i was, busy feeling sorry for myself and then i thought of phmichelle and her overwhelming positivity even when she had to go back to day 1 after weeks of successful zt. so im definitely not gonna make a bad situation worse by holding myself a pity party (i heard someone else use that expression here- so funny!) or thinking 'oh well, i f'd it up and all is lost' and going for the full-on skin massacre.

so its elastoplast and savlon for me, my friends, and hopefully a cuddle when the boyf gets home.

fiffle, i hope your sleeve strategy is still working well- keep us posted.

lisa, i have a scar that id picked and picked and, until today, hadnt touched for ages. i have never left it alone long enough for the scar to even begin to fade. grrr... infuriating, isn't it?!

hope you guys have had more success than me today

love and healing thoughts, (slightly sheepish) rae xxx

[bd8300]

HI raerae and everybody else, hope you are all ok. I had a successful pick free night yesterday and this morning my skin is looking better since i purchased some polysporin for the scars and it is speeding things up.

I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow-i will be gone for a week, but please try and post here so that i can read a/b all of your success while i'm gone. Yes i said success. I want to read only good things from all of you-we are part of ZT right, and this is about moving forward. If you guys need some incentive, i will not be picking for a week b/c i simply wont be home, so join me everybody and take a vacation from your bathrooms/mirrors instead. I will be back here on Monday May 17, 2004 so be expecting my post then. I'm leaving tomorrow, so i'm sure i'll post back b/f then too.

Good luck be strong and have will and patience. For those of you who have the New Testament read a passage from Romans 9, 9-14; its very comforting and inspiring.

Good luck.

[fiffle]

Hello Raerae, Lisa, and bd8300

Hope all is going well.

Just to give you an update, yesterday was a PICK FREE DAY.... Yippee.

I waivered a little this morning, as I did pick a couple (really small ones), but I did also manage to inspect my arms without the usual consequences of the mass picking exercise.

The long sleeve thing is definitely good, however, I think I also need tops that have high necks, otherwise I am also tempted to pick at the top of my chest.

I have started writing in a note book my progress on each day (I did however back date the entries to the start of this crusade, so I did have a full log of the event), and that gives me a really big buzz being able to write in big letters "PICK FREE DAY!"

I have now been on this quest for 6 days, and I haven't had one major picking session yet, only a few small slip-ups that we won't mention again.

I am not sure whether the inositol is making any difference, but I will keep taking it for a while to see.

Hope you are all having a pick free day, and good luck for tomorrow.

Looking forward to the updates.

[raerae]

great stuff, guys! well done!!!

hope you have a lovely vacation, lisa! and i will try to post everyday, so as to provide you with a little light reading matter

i had a pick free day, too ;D. i FINALLY got my period... thank goodness! i was in danger of shredding my skin completely due to a fiendish combination of pmt and worrying about being four days late. so now i know to expect a tough battle with picking at that time of the month- forewarned is forearmed!

i actually didnt do as much damage yesterday as i thought i had so, in terms of healing, its not a total back to square one situation.

tonight i will be extra kind to my skin- i need a nice relaxing hot bath to ease my tummy pain, so i think ill make use the soaking time and do some gentle face pampering.

keep up the good work. love, rae xxx

[fiffle]

Raerae, well done on getting your period! and good luck in surviving the ordeal with minimal picking.

Just to give you all another daily update, I had a pick free evening, and didn't even have to wear long sleeves to do it, so was particularly impressed.

I again waivered a bit this morning, picking at about six (oh my god, six!), small spots/scabs, but again was able to inspect my arms for quite a while without doing any significant damage.

I am sure the weekend will be the most difficult, as I will have more time to pick, but fingers crossed that it all goes well.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

[raerae]

thanks, fiffle!

according to my personal definition of zt i have been pick free again today, and my skin is looking much better generally.

i find that, in the week prior to my period, as well as occasionally getting classic pmt zits, old scabs seem to undergo a pause in healing, and then get quite a bit better in the two days after. anyone else experience this phenomenon?

the funny thing is, in contrast with wednesday when i was desperate to squeeze 'til i bruised, today the urge is almost non-existent. im hoping thats the effect of two weeks successful zt and that im beginning to retrain my brain.

(((hugs))) raerae xxx

[sos]

Hi guys, sooo happy for you all in your progress... Keep up the great work!!!!
One day at a time...
love,
sos

[raerae]

where is everyone?

ive been sooooo busy on my training placement that i havent had 5 minutes to myself to post here... my apologies, fellow zt-ers.

on the plus side, ive had no time to pick...

im finding the evening the toughest time, y'know, when im still all keyed-up from the day and alone at home working on my computer... thats when i tend to catch myself scanning my face for something to pick. its a stress relief thing i think- i need to get worry beads or something!

right now im listening to the isley brothers. its not exactly relaxation music tho' except for 'summer breeze'- one of my favourite ever songs EVER!

hope youre doing okay, guys. love rae xxx

[raerae]

still doing fine zt-wise (its even possible i could be wearing short sleeves this time next week- yay!) but absolutely exhausted from overwork... i tell ya, id walk barefoot over hot coals for an early night!

rae xxx

[raerae]

well, guess who's back to day 1? dammit! i picked my arm on sunday and undid all my good work... plus i developed two spontaneous spots- one my nose, right on the tip, and the other slap bang in the middle of my forehead- and i messed them up by squeezing. aaaargh! so ive been horribly self-conscious all day... that'll teach me!

grr grr grr! love and hugs to all, raexxx