Why do you pick and when did it start?

Rose
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Jun 13, 2008 15:18:13 GMT -5

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Post by Rose on Jun 13, 2008 15:18:13 GMT -5

I think it started when I was in about 6th grade. I remember having the corners of my mouth crack and bleed an I'd pick at them. Then I'd get a pimple here or there and never leave it alone.

I would pick at anything...milia, blackheads, white heads, scabs. I hate seeing anything with a head on it or if there isn't a head on it, I squeeze it to make one.

I once had a scab on my face I picked at for about 5 months. It finally healed but damn!

I think that I got a lot of stress relief from it and I think I still do. It's like my own little world...despite all the negative effects, I continue to do it.

How to stop..I don't know. I can't even envision myself stopping. I want to but I can't. Right now I have four huge scabs on my face and when they turn black I just pick off the scab because I think light red looks better than hard, crusty black.

I'm glad this place is here. I don't feel so alone.

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Why do you pick and when did it start? Sept 18, 2008 7:53:55 GMT -5

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Post by escorts miami on Sept 18, 2008 7:53:55 GMT -5

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MissPicky
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Oct 7, 2008 1:03:37 GMT -5

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Post by MissPicky on Oct 7, 2008 1:03:37 GMT -5

I can identify. Mine didn't start until I was married for several years (15 years ago). It started after one Halloween where I took his niece and nephew trick or treating. They told me later the kids were being treated for lice and I started freaking about having caught them (ew). We had pets in the house, and I didn't know it but at the time there were fleas in the house and one bite would cause a histamine reaction that would make my whole body itch. So I started scratching my head, but there were places all over my legs too. I developed irrational fears of spiders and was having panic attacks. I quit my job after a meltdown one morning and was taken to the doctor and put on depression meds. They were changed several times for a few years as my marriage fell apart, but I finally went to an internist that immediately said I had OCD. He put me on Luvox and Xanex and it worked. I am still taking the Luvox (not Xanex) years later and swear by it. However, I didn't completely get rid of the head picking until I washed that man right out of my hair (heh). Seriously, he was stealing money from me and cheating on me with crack and women behind my back. So once he was gone, the head picking went away. Being honest, though I recently started again, worrying about my dying aunt in the hospital and my new fiancee who's married to his job, I guess. I have one scab on my head that I wish I would leave alone. I feel such a relief when I rip the scab off and white hair follicles come out with the scab. How weird is that. But I'm putting neosporin creme on it so It'll heal faster and won't get infected and at least there's only one. Well, glad I'm not alone at least. Good luck to everyone on kicking this habit.

Spring angel
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Oct 9, 2008 5:38:24 GMT -5

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Post by Spring angel on Oct 9, 2008 5:38:24 GMT -5

Miss Picky,

I would like to encourage you to join the OSPA team at www.stoppickingonme.com/bb/

We have hope and we have recovery, and we have 6 OSPA Meetings a week, 5 online and one by phone.

It's an active site with lots of support and our 12 step forum is there, you can get a sponsor and work the steps and recover.

Sounds like you have a bit of Trich. We have a former scalp picker who could sponsor you. Her name is Jackie, (SJM). If you go to the site and Private Message her, you can chat with her.

You will have to register at the site.

Let me know how you are doing, okay? I don't visit this site often anymore since it is a dead site, (no moderator), but you can email me at wynn_newton@hotmail.com.

If you want to know what OSPA is all about I bumped the OSPA thread up to the top here so browse through it. We don't work the steps alone we work them with a sponsor.

OSPA is 3 1/2 years old now and we have many recovering and recovered people.

Come join us!

luv,

spring

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Why do you pick and when did it start? Oct 9, 2008 15:58:07 GMT -5

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Post by fort lauderdale escorts on Oct 9, 2008 15:58:07 GMT -5

ouchyface
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Oct 10, 2008 23:43:58 GMT -5

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Post by ouchyface on Oct 10, 2008 23:43:58 GMT -5

Well, i pretty much grew up watching my mom pick. She would sit on the bathroom counter and contort to find places to pick. She would have her arms all picked apart, and her back...mostly...she never liked to wear short sleeves, and she always had bandaids on her. She would pick because she was stressed out, or couldn't control her surroundings..I pretty much learned from her and used to have my arms all torn up when i was younger, middleschool/early hischool...it wasn't as bad as her, but it's just when i feel something on my face, i pick till it bleeds, then it scabs, then i pick again, and so on...and it lasts for like a month or more...it just sucks when u can't cover it up..my husband always gets mad about it. My mom has since covered up many of her scars with tattoos. She has flowers covering every scab on her arm. She is in her fifties, and her friends can't believe how many tattoos she has..but only I know the real reason for them..

Jen7992 Guest	Why do you pick and when did it start? Oct 28, 2008 22:53:13 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Jen7992 on Oct 28, 2008 22:53:13 GMT -5 Thank you for your stories. Hopefully someday I can share like you.

Just picked now
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Nov 2, 2008 8:18:19 GMT -5

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Post by Just picked now on Nov 2, 2008 8:18:19 GMT -5

I started picking when I started getting spots. At first I thought little of it and made no attempt to hide the consequences - I just remember hoping that a good night's sleep would cure it all (didn't we all wish that!)

Gradually I became more and more self conscious about it. A girl in my class once savagely said to me "I like your buddah spot" - referring to a scabby hole i'd picked where the nose joins my forehead, you know? Right between m eyes, I suppose. So it looked like a hindu bindi spot.

And the other comment I'll always remember was from some kid I've never seen before or since, but I was passing him and he just called out "I like your face" and sniggered and walked off with classmates. Loads of people heard that I imagine. Ugh. I have role played out scenarios where I beat that kid to a pulp in the intervening years. Of course I didn't do a thing at the time.

I dunno what triggers it for me - I think it's a mixture of nerves and self consciousness (what gets me in front of the mirror in the first place) - the strange, stress relieving pleasure of actually picking - and a self-esteem related disrespect for my own body, I think.

I was in London yesterday. My face was -okay- for the first time in months. But I can't help but look at everyone else's faces once I'm there - they look so perfect, so smooth, never sweaty or dry or shiny. When I'm on the tube I examine other people's faces for signs of make-up or redness or scars - and there's nothing!

I probably sound so stupid. Oh well. At least I shared it.

Guest
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Nov 5, 2008 3:55:26 GMT -5

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Post by Guest on Nov 5, 2008 3:55:26 GMT -5

I think picking is due to stress. Anxiety. I'm picking a lot lately and I think it's because I am considering breaking up w/ my boyfriend of 4 yrs. The stress of continuing the relationship or not. It's crazy. But at least I know I'm not alone. I'm not happy with aspects of the relationship and instead of talking it over, i have anxiety attacks at times. Probably once the cause of my stress is gone, I'll stop again. I'm probably going to seek counseling because I realize if I ever want a relationship to work, i need to learn to deal with the stress of it. Not fair to any guy to put up with these things. My Sister also scratches (very badly) and I think I remember seeing my dad do it. So I do think it's hereditary.

picky mcpickerson
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Nov 14, 2008 1:44:25 GMT -5

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Post by picky mcpickerson on Nov 14, 2008 1:44:25 GMT -5

I am actually very relieved to read this.. i have the same issues i don't feel ike such a freak now. I have been doing it for years and now i'm 24 and i feel it's almost out of controll. I pick my scalp along with my thumbs, my lips, pretty much almost anything on my body that can be picked. It's almost like an addiction my boyfreind is constantly telling me to stop he thinks i'm crazy. I dont' know why i do this.. I dont' even notice i am doing it most of the time. I really wish i didn't. I have been doing it since I think highschool... but the older i get it seems to just be getting worse. It's embarssing and sometimes painful but in a messed up sort of way satisfying. I haven't seen a doctor for it but i don't know what to do about it.. anybody have any advice??

redface
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Dec 27, 2008 3:07:05 GMT -5

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Post by redface on Dec 27, 2008 3:07:05 GMT -5

Hi everybody. I could really use some feedback on my situation from you fellow face-pickers! First of all, I always felt I was the only person in the world w/ this problem, so I am kinda shocked & happy to find this site! I honestly have NO IDEA why I pick my face! I am 39 years old with a great job and a wonderful family. I didn't start face picking until I was in my mid-30s. The only thing I can say is that I have always been prone to compulsive behavior. I used to bite the inside of my mouth for yrs when I was younger, and I still I rip paper about it and roll it into little balls or fold it without even realizing I am doing it. My conscious thought on picking is just that I simply like it! I enjoy it - as sick as it sounds. I have always been considered above average pretty, but I know this is ruining my looks and I now find myself avoiding people I know because of it. How can I stop when I really don't know why I do it? And when I LIKE it! It's so crazy and I don't know what to do.

Daddys Little Defect
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Feb 1, 2009 0:26:12 GMT -5

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Post by Daddys Little Defect on Feb 1, 2009 0:26:12 GMT -5

My picking problem started with scabs from bug bites and cuts. I can't pin the the exact age that I started picking. Mostly due to my horrible memory problem along with procrastinating, (not quite bi-bolar) Extreme highs and lows, anxiety, panic attacks, never finishing anything, and an overly jealous nature. I am 26 and have been doing it most of my life. I twirl my hair incessantly and chew the inside of my bottom lip. I have never been to a psychologist but I have an appointment on Monday. What triggerd the call? 2 nights ago after not being able to eat or sleep for 2 days ( happens a couple times a year) I tore my face, neck, back, shoulders, thighs, and chest apart. Ususally, I just pick at a few here and there whenever I get them. The worst part about it is the gaping hole or two I leave on my face, the ugly scab thats left (then of course I pick the scab) which inevitably leaves a scar. I have picked my face badly several times before, but never this bad!
I was puttering around the house at 12am, randomly half doing things as usual when I decided that I had to pee. I honestly do not think I even did what I intended on, though I was in the bathroom for 5 hours! I had ONE pimple on my face, beside my nose! I leaned in to give it a squeeze and thats all she wrote! I dug an dug and now it is a crater red and nasty looking. I then moved on to black heads scraping and digging with a sewing needle...I would find the smallest bump and excise it as an exorcist would a demon. I did that until my face was so raw and swollen that I couldnt bear the pain of one more pinch. Then I moved to my neck shoulders back and thighs. I did to the rest as I did my face and then I realized what I had done... Sweaty and sore I looked over my mutilated body and gasped. It was then I looked at the time, It felt like I was in there for an hour tops. I was so ashamed and ugly. My face burned from embarrasment and stung from what I had done. I then cried in a ball on the floor of the bathroom for the next couple of hours. I heard my boyfriend come in the door and my heart sank. I didnt even want him to look at me. I put a bandana on and just at that time he walked in the room, I hung my head and he asked wha was wrong. He had never seen me like this before...It only happens when I am stressed and overwhelmed. I told him what happened and that I didn't want to go any where. I was completely disgusted in myself. The next day my face got much better around 7:30 pm I went to the bathroom to grab something and I left about 12am swollen and in pain again... I am now writing this and can't look in the mirror without hating myself. I look like a freak show and can't hide it! I just want to stop! Well, good luck to you all. If anyone cares to talk my email is seapiscesswim@yahoo.com

janelie0293
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Mar 3, 2009 1:02:15 GMT -5

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Post by janelie0293 on Mar 3, 2009 1:02:15 GMT -5

I'm not sure how my head picking started, but I remember doing it for a brief time while I was about 12 or 13. More recently, my senior year in high school, I started picking again. I tried to stop that summer after high school because my mom said she wouldn't send me to college if I had a huge sore on my head. Unfortunately, I caved in after two days. It was the best scab I had ever picked. Gross enough, I wish I could stop for two days just to pick another one that big. EW!!! Obviously my mother wasn't serious about not sending me to school, so bald spot and all, I began college. At my first fraternity party, a guy asked why my head was bleeding. I told him I burnt it with a straightening iron. I was mortified, but obviously not enough to quit. Later on in the semester my sorority had a western mixer and I asked one of my 'sisters' to braid my hair. She was grossed out when she saw the cut, and I told her what it really was. It's hard to explain to people the obsession and my friends think I am completely crazy. I even get enjoyment out of reading about yalls scalp stories!!! A lady I babysit for has been picking her scabs since before her daughter was born. Her daughter is now 14. Seeing her 2 scabs made me want to have another one to pick, and I am constantly feeling around my head for a potential scab to pick. I feel like a total moron. I would never pick anywhere else on my body and don't have the slightest idea in what pleasure I get from picking my head. Usually I pick when I'm bored, like driving or sitting in class (I sit in the back for this reason). I am going to the doctor to get anxiety medications to see if it is in fact psychological, which I believe it is. Telling your friends is a good idea because if they're like mine they will tell you to stop when they see it happening. If the medicine works, I'll post back!

Pending Guest
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Mar 9, 2009 10:59:44 GMT -5

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Post by Pending Guest on Mar 9, 2009 10:59:44 GMT -5

I'm waiting for the approval for my register. I started pickings when I was about 9 years old. I pickings on everywheres on my whole body and don't know when to stop. My mom caught me a few times while I was growing up and she told me stop picking or you will gets a infections and I was like didn't answer her questions then she took me to her bathroom to puts on the cream on my back & etc. I was afraid to talk to her about my problem while doing this. I wrote a letter to my parents last Thursday but not done yet so I've been planning do it more today or the next day after. That's because this month are too busy like birthdays & holidays so I have to wait it's over. I don't know why I keep picking in the bathroom (not in the mirror but sometimes I looks at my body images) & I was trying to fall alssep while I keep pickings on my back, bottom & my arms. I'm a nail biter and trying to quit picking on mines so that's why I keep short nails so I have to!

Am I'm only one in the forum?

Megg
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Why do you pick and when did it start? Apr 3, 2009 14:15:40 GMT -5

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Post by Megg on Apr 3, 2009 14:15:40 GMT -5

I'm new here....Things have just been getting out of hand, so I finally googled this problem, and wow! There's a while universe of "us" out there!
I remember picking in high school; but it never was so bad. It really got bad, ironically, when I started taking Zoloft for postpartum depression about 6 years ago. The Zoloft took the edge of my anxiety/depression, but I also think it kind of numbed me, and perhaps I started picking to make sure I was still there....doesn't make much sense, but what about picking does?

I stopped totally when I was pregnant again with my 4th child; that pregnancy was so blissful. But I am back at it again with a vengeance, though I am more private about it now. My kids are older, (girls) and they notice, so I don't want to set a bad example. Instead I stay up way too late after everyone else is in bed, sit on the vanity in the bathroom, and gouge my scalp with a comb to scrape off everything that's loose, usually causing myself to bleed, and then go to bed with a throbbing head that is super sore in the morning. Oh yeah, and I have a hard time waking up because I was up so late, and so my 20 month old son gets into lots of trouble, tearing the house apart while I try and get a shower in, and basically get my act together....
My husband is so frustrated with this vicious cycle....he is worried that my capacity to care for my youngest is severely compromnised, which causes me ENORMOUS guilt and shame....I am so tired of this. I don't feel stressed, (because of my meds) but clearly there is something I am reacting to in this border-line, self-mutilational way.

Anyone else have this much at stake? Thanks for listening....

Post by Rose on Jun 13, 2008 15:18:13 GMT -5

Post by escorts miami on Sept 18, 2008 7:53:55 GMT -5

Post by MissPicky on Oct 7, 2008 1:03:37 GMT -5

Post by Spring angel on Oct 9, 2008 5:38:24 GMT -5

Post by fort lauderdale escorts on Oct 9, 2008 15:58:07 GMT -5

Post by ouchyface on Oct 10, 2008 23:43:58 GMT -5

Post by Jen7992 on Oct 28, 2008 22:53:13 GMT -5

Post by Just picked now on Nov 2, 2008 8:18:19 GMT -5

Post by Guest on Nov 5, 2008 3:55:26 GMT -5

Post by picky mcpickerson on Nov 14, 2008 1:44:25 GMT -5

Post by redface on Dec 27, 2008 3:07:05 GMT -5

Post by Daddys Little Defect on Feb 1, 2009 0:26:12 GMT -5

Post by janelie0293 on Mar 3, 2009 1:02:15 GMT -5

Post by Pending Guest on Mar 9, 2009 10:59:44 GMT -5

Post by Megg on Apr 3, 2009 14:15:40 GMT -5

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