Why do you pick and when did it start?

[Amber333]

I'm pretty sure I started picking right about the end of third grade, when i was nine. Then in fourth grade it was really bad, it was a giant scab right in the middle of my head. It was the only one I picked, the rest of my head was fine. Sometimes in class i would pick my head with the metal part of a pencil. My mom had to part my hair a bit to the side so my classmates couldnt see it. It always bled and when i touched my head the tips of my fingers would be red. My sister also had scabs but mine was worse. Im not sure how i stopped but i think my dad said, "if you keep picking it you might reach your skull" And i think that really freaked me out so i stopped. Now my scab is healed, but now i have new really bad habits. And i think my sister made me start picking my head, but i dont know how.

[gogo]

i started in late high school. i've always picked at scabs... but i started picking the skin around my fingertips and then the sides of my face. i also picked my scalp, but that wasn't as bad. for the past 2 years, i've been picking my face compulsively to get rid of any unevenness and squeeze pimples and blackheads. sometimes i have a relatively clear face, but invariably my face gets oily and pimply again, and then the picking starts again. i've developed really gross sores on my face. most people don't mention it to me, probably because they are embarrassed to say something (it looks very obvious). my parents don't understand why i do it, and my mom always tells me to "just stop touching my face". i think the more she freaks out at me for picking, the more i do it. i find myself picking when i read and when i'm doing things that i don't actually want to be doing. i also enter this weird trance-like phase in front of the mirror when i'm picking-- it's very calming and centering. I've wondered about how to stop. i've tried wearing gloves, and just said "no" with plain willpower, but you invariably forget. i'm pretty stressed out with school work all the time, and i think i fall under the category of "perfectionist". this has translated to other body image problems like weight (even though i know that i am a normal weight- i still feel the need to be thinner). but the picking is the worst- it is really an addiction. i need to stop-- so i've been researching it on the internet a bit. there isn't much out there- most sites just say that it's a symptom of OCD or depression. I am a very stubborn person, so i know i should be able just to stop. but reading all of these stories has made me realize that maybe it's not so much about stopping the picking as fixing whatever it is in my life that is causing me to be so destructive towards my body. i need to find another outlet- something else to relieve this tension. i think it's good to write down.

[Sheena]

I just wanted to start off and say thank you to everyone that posted there story. I, too, am a skin picker. I started picking at my skin around the age of 12. It am now 24 and I pick at everything. My armpits and breasts are my favorite. I don't know why, but they are. I know that it doesn't look good but I can't help from doing it. Maybe the last 2 years I have been research this topic a lot. While in college I talked to one of the counselor at the student counseling center. She gave me a book on OCD because skin picking is connected to OCD. Trichotillamania and Body Dysmorphia Disorder are connected to. The book stated that people who pick at their skin were more likely to have been picked on as children, lived in high-stressed home environment, and that someone in their family are probably pickers(or nail bitters) too. I was picked on as a child, did live in an high-stress environment, and my aunt picks at her cuticles really bad. My skin picking is impulsive and compulsive. There are times when I just have to do it. I remember times at school that I would asked to go to the bathroom just so I could pick at my skin. Sometimes I do it without thinking about it, like when I am watching TV or surfing the Internet. Also, my counselor asked me if it was a stress relieved for me and it is. When I get a decent job with health benefits I will see a doctor about prescribing me a SSRI. I have tried for years to stop w/o meds because I didn't want to throw a pill at the problem, but I have been doing this for 12 years now and I am tired of seeing all of the scabs and blemishes on my body. Thanks for letting me tell my story and for letting me know that others out there deal with the same issue or something similar to.

[rediculous]

I started picking at my skin early on in the teens id say 12 or 13. The picking at my body is absolutely rediculous and heartbreaking. I am someone who doesnt have any acne whatsoever. i have beautiful flawless skin but now it is in SHAMBLES. Forexample, today i picked at my skin for 3 hours ( how in the world did i do that??) and realized i had to be at work in 5 minutes to serve people. I was hysterically crying and risked losing my job. My legs, arms and pubic region are covered in scabs from ingrown hair. People ask my what army of bugs attacked me last night! My little brother tells me i look like a methhead which i do(i dont even do drugs). All i know is, is that this skin picking is ruining my life. I disconnected with my new boyfriend becuase couldnt get intimate with him because of all of my scabs ( alot are infected by the way). My aunt and grandmother want to send me to a mental hospital for how bad my self mutilation in getting. I EVEN PICK AT MY ARMPIT HAIRS. i look forward to plucking out all my hairs on my pubic region, armpits ect. I also pock at my scalp all the time. please someone help me. Why do we do this in the first place? Anxiety? results for childhood trauma?? someone give me answers before i dont have skin anymore!

[TheMayQueen]

I can't believe I found this site tonight! I'm so happy that I'm not alone although it's a very selfish feeling of relief! I grew up in an extremely high stress environment and was emotionally and physically tormented during my childhood. I have family members who pick-- my sister and my grandfather. My younger sister and I would pick at our mosquito bites as well as pick at scabs on our heads. Our mother used heavily scented White Rain brand shampoo for our hair which irritated our scalps. That started the scratching and then the scab picking began. That lasted for nearly a year and then we somehow broke the habit. I remember my mother threatening to bring me to the doctor "so he could scrape our scalps." That scared me straight. Additionally, my sister would pick at the wallpaper before falling asleep at night, tearing off bits at a time. The weirdest part of our story is when we would stay 600 miles from home with our father and new stepmother during summer visitation. My sister and I would pick at each other! We'd ask each other to "check my ears." We'd extract each other's wax and comedones on the pinna. We were only 4 and 8 years old. I distincly recall our stepmother saying we groomed each other like monkeys and telling that it was disgusting. For us, it was comforting, as we were dealing with separation anxiety in our mother's absence as well as entering yet another, yet different high stress environment. Over time, our picking haulted. I do recall, however, I seemed to replace this habit with an extreme need to be organized, ordered, clean, and meticulous with my living environment and self. As a child, I color cooridinated my books, my clothes, and my stuffed animals. I constantly cleaned and organized, especially during times of high stress. I'd also did this in an effort to put my Noisy Borderline Personality Disorder mother into a better mood. Once I started to break out in junior high, I began to pick at my comedones and eventually pimples. It wasn't a noticeable problem until 12th grade while I was at a boarding school for the gifted. I was burnt out with a serious case of Senior-itis and had been traumatized. I didn't seek counseling. At this point, my picking was becoming something shameful for me. Every time I saw a mirror, I looked for a zit of some kind to terminate. I once described it as enjoyable in a victory-is-mine kind of way. I even told a friend, "I don't realize I'm doing it until it's too late." Freshman year of college, I began taking an SSNRI called Effexor. The 75mg dose was great for about 4 months and I lost weight, perked up, slept well at night, and quit picking. However, my depression returned and my doctor prescribed me double the dose. That was a mistake. That dosage made all my symptoms so much worse. I was an emotional zombie, uet nervous, lethargic, apathetic, and anxious. So...drum roll, please...I began to pick like never before and gained a ton of weight. I picked my scalp and created sores for more picking fun! I picked my face, neck, ears, back, tricep area, butt cheeks, my boyfriend, my pets. Sometimes, I even tried to make the scab worse as some bloggers have described somehow fascinated by the scab. At times, I could go several weeks without picking but it would always return and looking back it was always during times of high stress. I'm currently free of Effexor. Coming off that sh** is a blog unto itself. I'm currenlty taking Adderall for ADHD. I find that 5mg is enough to help me focus as a result of my melancholia. 10 mg is too much and will send me into a cleaning and organinzing fury! However, as the adderall wears off, I find myself beginning to pick. Nowadays, I catch myself starting to pick and instead actively tell myself to leave the mirror. I choose to go for a walk, take a hot shower, have a glass of wine, or surf online. Unfortunately, I don't always disappear into the bathroom to pick and catch myself doing so while performing another task or while zoning out. Alas, I'm not free of picking. I will even wake myself up out of a dead sleep, picking at zits on my face, neck, and shoulders. Yikes! I'm a fairly attractive young woman but have ruined the texture of my skin. I've decided that until I can afford to see a counselor, I've got to take on the symptoms and not the source. I take nighttime sleep aid in the form of Benadryl, Tylenol PM, or Wal-som. Additionally, I put socks over my hands and that has been a HUGE help. If anyone knows of any articles or books about the condition and treatment of our DISORDER please e-mail me @ [e-mail] Thanks!

[guest]

Hello everyone. New here. I've been picking or pulling hairs since I was 12. It first started with pulling out all the hairs I could with tweezers on the front of my legs. I would do it for hours at a time, and my legs were always a gross red mess. I was able to kick that some time in my late teens. Then it turned into head hair pulling (while in college) at a spot on the right side of my head. I had a bald spot which was carefully hidden. I went to a psych, and was prescribed drugs, had a really bad reaction which resulted in me totaling a car and od-ing on the drugs. I went off the drugs, and was able to stop. However, about 4 years ago I started pulling/picking on this one spot on the top of my head. I've been doing it ever since. I have a permanent bald spot which I continually pick at. I know that I've done permanent damage and I live with the constant fear that people will see it. I've been dating a guy for about a year and three months and he's never said anything. If he did, I'd probably flip out.

Anyway, I know that it is brought about by stress...yet I thought it would be a good idea to go to law school. I just graduated after three years of hell, and I am studying for the bar exam. I am 7 days away from taking the exam, and my picking/pulling is out of control. I keep telling myself if I can just make it through the bar, I will be okay...but I'm not sure I will be. I recently picked up the tweezers and just ravaged my legs. The top of my head is so messed up, and I know it's going to take a good long while to heal, and I'm not sure I have the willpower anymore that I used to have to kick the habit, if even just for a little while so it can heal somewhat and I can feel normal. I guess I just need some encouragement. I've read the posts on here and it's nice to know that I am not alone. I've applied to join up here on this board, and I'd appreciate some advice.

[mileslong]

i started picking in my early teens... im not sure what started it...

i find that i pick my face alot.. little tiny blemishes turn into scabs from me messing with them so much. i do it alot when im really tired... i do it more before a stressful situation, i have no idea why..

i do it when i get stressed out... i find a small blemsih and then pick the hell out of it... and if it pops, i feel relief and success. its very strange... i try not to pick, but every single time i pass a mirror, i have to stick my face 2 inches from it, and survey every inch for the tiniest blemish. sometimes i can resist picking it, only to fold later that night when im tired or somthing.

i stumbled across this board while trying to figure out why i pick my face so much... kinda odd that there is so many other people that do the same thing. i had no idea.

[WANNY]

:(I don't know where to start. I am 43 married with a wonderful son aged 17, good job, although stressful and no money worries. i remember first starting picking when I was about 17 and haven't stopped since. I used to pick my previous boyfriend for 6 years and now pick my husband of 18.5 years and pick myself really badly. Arms, face, legs, breasts and chest. Anywhere I can find a bump or blemish. Don't know what to do now!!

[Donna Dee]

I am in awe. In shock. I do not know what to say. I am 42 years old and I have been picking my skin since I was so young that I can't remember when I started. For probably my whole 42 years. Someone told me today that her son picks his skin and until that came out of her mouth, I thought I was the only one. I never heard of anyone doing it beforeM ever. So tonight just on a whim I typed in google "why do I pick my skin" and when I saw the list I was so shocked. I don't pick because I itch. I don't itch so I have no clue why I pick. But I pick my skin AND my scalp. I have little round scars all over my body. I don't know what else to say because I'm crying as I write this because I just am so over whelmed. In 42 years, I just didn't know there was anyone else.

[Ashley Grossman]

I have been picking at my pimples since I first started getting them. It has gotten worse with age. I am now 25. I didn't start wearing makeup until about 19 or 20. Now I have to wear it all the time because I constantly have red splotches from where I stood in front of the mirror for half an hour picking at ever pimple and pore. I live with my boyfriend and he knows I do this, but he doesn't know how crippling it can be. I will be at work and feel a zit and I can't stop myself from picking at it, then I am horribly self conscious the rest of the day because I am know I have a big red scab on my face. Or I will scratch my scalp all over. I have dandruff that seems to have something to do with my constant scratching. I have dark hair so it show up. I can't help but scratch my scalp several times during the day and then I am self conscious about the big flakes of skin showing. I am a very attractive girl and I know this, but this disorder really hurts my self confidence. It has gon so far that I pick at my arms, legs and chest. It should be easy to quit, but for some reason I just can't. I just can't.

[Donna Dee]

I can relate to you and every other person so much. I'm so glad I found this place. It made me feel good to know that I'm not alone.

[Natalie]

Jul 28, 2006 15:49:37 GMT -5 @MCpick Alot said:

my name is Mary im almost 19 and I've been pickin as long as i can remeber my grandfather and my father think I'd be a good nurse since i was always interested in picking scabs, not only mine my families as well when i first started i woke my dad up from a nap by rippiing off a scab on his elbo **FREAKO** o know thats pretty bad. i find my self pickign mostly when im bored or upset like anxiety but ive been on zorplex for over 2 months or three so anxiety isnt a main factor anymore. but when im bored or zoneing i tend to find or look for bumps on my shoulder and biseps jsut to squeeze. ill go out of my way durring work or school to pop a pimple or find a black head. i sit up on my bathroom vainety and pick my back. ill sit on the couch and pick my mothers face or my dads back im gross! i would pin my boyfriend who had bad acne and pop his back i didnt care how much pain he was in as long as i got to feel that sucker pop and see the gross puss. i am a freako i need some mucho help and tips on how to "quit"

[Natalie]

Wow their is people like me what a releif!Mary , i have the exact same problems! When will the ppl with phd's relize medicine doesn't help anyone.Iam your classic self loathing, nervous, ppl pleasing ,kind a gal. i grew up in home where there was no sharing your feelings, and if u did it would have been an anger fit.i to get some kinda sick pay off from seeing the puss come out of my face ,somtimes it actually feels good when i pop i really big pimple,i know gross, rite? i cant for the life of me figure out what kinda twisted occurance in my life makes me wanna pick my face!i'm sure my extended thinks i do drugs (b/c my face is full of redness and scabs).iam addicted to anything that gives me instant gratification no matter the repercutions.

[mamaC]

I have been picking as long as I can remember. I don't know why I do, but any scab I see on myself I have to pick. Even if it hurts or I know it will bleed. Same with the pimples on my face. I get ones that wont pop so I squeeze them until they scab and then I pick them until they scar. It has even gotten to the point that when my kids get scabs I want to pick them too. Its so hard to hold myself back. I have always wondered if this was a disease or something, it's like I CANNOT hold myself back. When I see a scab on myself it's all I think about until I pick it. I will pick my scabs everyday until they go away.

[RandomPicker]

Dang I pick too...I just thought it was only me.
Sometimes I had sores so bad, I was embarrassed to wear slightly low shirts because they revealed a part of my neck or back (where I had been picking). I picked my face, my back, and the trouble is, I knew I was hurting my self, But I just couldn't help it!
It wasn't until my mom saw a really bad sore on my back and started crying did I really start taking it seriously. I haven't been picking nearly as much and am really making progress I feel.