Why do you pick and when did it start?

[imperfect]

wow, it is amazing to finally have people to talk about this with (as many have also said). I feel like there are support groups and it is semi-socially acceptable to talk about other problems such as eating disorders or alcoholism, but before I couldn't even imagine talking about picking in a public space. I started around 17 as a result of depression and anxiety (my family has a history of both). I'm now on medication, but still have the occassional bouts. it is so frustrating because my skin is clear except for the few things I create on it. I know the feeling of being so jealous of people who can just walk out the door without make-up. I can do that rarely. why do i care so much? i have no idea. i wish beauty didn't have so much value in our culture, but there is kind of no way around that. just like lots of people aspire to be skinny like models in magazines, i guess iwant to have that perfect, unattainable 'airbrushed' look. But it isn't real. I just want to say good luck to everybody out there. we aren't weird, and we're worth more than our skin!!!!! oh, and kudos to whoever created this support board!

[Kiki1122]

Yeah, I started... maybe I was 14? I'm 20 now. it's a combination of boredom and stress, it kind of relaxes you and it's sort of neat to see a big piece of skin resting on your fingernail. And for some reason, you compulsively just eat it... Which is kinda screwed up I know. But it just happens and when I really think about what I did, I am like "ew." Sometimes after a lot of picking, I'd just brush my fingers or a brush through my hair and watch lots of pieces of skin fall onto my pants or shoulders, it reminds me of the girl from Breakfast Club, and she was kinda crazy or supposed to be. Haha But wow, I thought I was the only weirdo who did this. I don't pick till I bleed, I basically am picking of dry skin, I guess they could be scabs but they aren't read, they're clear or you know, skin colored. I don't pick till it hurts, I usually stop if I don't feel my fingernail slide under my skin without pain. That's the coolest feeling when almost your entire fingernail is underneath your skin, then you lift it off and look at it and it didn't hurt pealing it off at all because I think it was dead skin anyway, I just take it off instead of waiting for it to fall of by itself. The bleeding part doesn't really fascinate me so much on my head, unless I'm popping a zit or something. I love getting the white puss out, just cuz I don't like a big bump on myself and it's fun to get out, looks like toothpaste being squeezed out of the tube. lol I'm so glad so many other people do this. I pick my boyfriend's head sometimes too, and his zits, lol, he does it too, he and this other girl I was friends with did it, so I think it's more common than we all thought. I think it's a gene that we haven't lost from our monkey ancestors. Haha I dunno. Everyone has weird habits, some worse/more disgusting than others. But yeah, I'll prolly stop, I have before, then started again, I'm actually a very clean person and don't really have a lot of "dandruff" and when I do it was only cuz I picked so much. There are times when I get carried away and kind of bleed a little, but I don't like that, and yeah when I shower I have felt that stinging feeling. Nobody's noticed sores, though sometimes I did feel the fear when I'd go to my hair dresser but she never notices or says anythinh anyway. After a shower, I usually have new dry skin, not read scabs, those aren't fun to me, I like skin that just glides right off. Yeah... so I'm not an extreme gonna dig at my head and make it bleed type person but I just like peeling away at the surface and checkin it out. Haha Ok, glad to hear I'm not the only one guys. Good for you all for talkin about it. It's good to talk about weird shit sometimes, haha. K, bye!

[Karin]

Hey... Im new to this site.. still waiting for my name to be approved...

I can't really remember exactly when I started picking.. I don't really remember doing it as a kid. I started becoming aware of it only a few years ago. I pick just about any part of my body. If I find an imperfection I have to pick it off. My most common areas to pick are my face, back, shoulders, chest, arms and legs. I've never really had acne on my face but I will always find some kind of imperfection whether its a blackhead or a small bump. I never really accepted it as being a problem until recently when I started going out with my boyfriend. He's really been trying to help me to stop but I just feel like its an impossible task. Everytime he sees me pick he tells me to stop and will actually physically move my hand away. Everytime he does this I get nervous because I feel like the only way I can find relief is if I finish picking that spot. I had no idea that there were other people that pick their face and that its actually a disorder until I decided to research it on the internet. Im glad to find out that im not the only one. I really need help getting over this habit because my skin just keeps getting worse and worse. If anybody has any advice for me I would love to hear it.

My actual name is karker12 it just hasn't been approved yet.

Karin

[moonflower]

I'm glad to have found this site.

I always really enjoyed picking scabs as a kid, then pimples as a teen (and still- only 21). But mostly it's my lips and fingers. I've always had problems with dry lips and picking them, though it's gone in waves. I've gone months without picking but right now it's terrible, almost daily. Also in the last 4 years I've gone at my fingers with a vengeance (first noticed it in grade 12)- I do it without thinking sometimes, and other times it will control my thoughts to the point where I will leave friends or company to go to the washroom to pick with my nail clipper which is ALWAYS on me. Once or twice, if i've forgotten it at home I'll go buy a new one at the drugstore rather than waiting the 4 hours til I return home. With the help of my boyfriend (who almost broke up with me over this problem in addition to other things) I stopped for the better part of 2 months but now I've relapsed and am feeling pretty desperate.

[sarahh]

okay, wow. i have been picking since i was about 12, and i am now 17. it started with my face. i would sit on my countertop while waiting for my water for my shower to heat up, and i would literally sit there and pick at these tiny white pores on my chin. the water for my shower would be cold by the time i forced myself away from the mirror and into the shower to try and wash with all the acne products i had to, i guess in my own mind, reverse the damage i had just done during my "trance". this obsession has moved to my chest as well as my face. it's like, i actually ENJOY popping things and watching them come out of my skin. that's kind of sickening. anyway if i stand under the light, these little bumps and very visible to me on my chest so i'll squeeze every single one i can find and now i can't wear any shirts that go below my neckline because my chest is so badly broken out. i just don't get it!!! what is going through my mind when i sit there and indulge in picking? why do i do it if i KNOW i will regret it?! i wish there were more attention on this subject, maybe some genius pyschologist can find the root of my problem. i just want it to stop and i HATE the feeling of knowing that i am not in control of my own actions. i once heard the quote, "insane is when you do something over and over again expecting different results." hmm...

[brown skin]

i am new to this forum. i am so glad that there is support. i started picking about 15 years ago. i think that i pick for pleasure and when i am anxious. now i pick alot when i am breast feeding and watching tv. i dont want to pass this habit to my kids. i really want to stop. any ideas?

[crazypicker]

Wow!! I honestly just wanna cry . I thought i was alone. I have been picking since i was 12 and i am now 28. I have went to multiple doctors about this and all they could tell me was well just don't pick. I am now married and my husband knows that i do it but i tried to hide it from him for a long time. I pick my head mostly and yes most of the time i don't know I'm doing it. I just started on my face a few yrs ago. I am so obsessed about it that i will pick at my dogs scabs my husbands i had a doll that where they sowed her hair it felt like scabs i would pretend it was and pick. I only due that if i have nothing left to pick. I have read all of your articles and am so happy i found people with the same problem. I wanna stop but i cant it like a drug. When people are around all i can due is think about it. I am so happy i can talk about it with people that understand

[John]

(I tried to register, and I got an activation key, but whenever I try to login, its been saying for the past 3 days that it needs to be approved or something like that)


Hello,
My name is John, I'm 16 years old and I live in Phoenix, Arizona.

I have had this problem since I first got acne about 2 years ago, My face, my upper back are the main problem areas. My chest is another area I have a few problems with.

This problem is the source for my depression, but I do nothing to stop, don't bother asking me why because your answer would probably be better than mine.

I wear womans concealer on my face, that and I have just managed to avoid taking my shirt off (Yes even in Arizona)

I don't know where or when to start stopping. I just know that it needs to be soon, because I don't even have the courage to talk to women anymore, or even think about romance.

I have recently cut myself off from the few friends that I have, not because of my face, but because I just don't care anymore.

Don't want to bring a damper on anyones day, because this seems like such a positive mooded forum, I'm really a nice guy, I just crack jokes so I don't put myself in a situation where I have to act on Self Esteem and Confidence, because I don't have too much left.

I came here for some support, and I really hope you people can help me out a bit.

Thank you.
John

[Looking Outward]

Oh my goodness, Sarah, you have basically described exactly the way my problem started. Here I'm thinking it's only been recently that I've considered it a 'problem,' that is, not only interfering with life but also is now preventing me from getting involved with any man.
From what you've said, I realize now that I've had this problem from when I was 11 or so. I did exactly what you've described, I started with simply squeezing all those tiny white spots on my chin. Then around my nose. It stayed at that level for years, then moreso on my face, then went to my arms, shoulders, and back. By the time I got to 9th grade, there was no way I'd ever wear anything like a tank top or a backless dress or backless swimsuit.
I remember now in middle school, on the bus, always being called 'oxy' by a guy I could not stand. I was ashamed but I simply blocked it all out. Then I think I just started taking it out on myself even more as a result of blocking myself from feelings about my life and my skin.
I am 32 this month, and I see you're 17. I hope and pray you begin to cherish your skin, so that you don't carry this shame into your 20's & 30's.
God Bless

[brigittelee]

I can relate to so many of you. I am a 34 year old wife and mother of four. I have had a picking problem for over 20 years. However, I have improved (not cured yet though) in the past year, so for those of you who are feeling hopeless, you can get better. I started picking pimples on my face, chest, back, and shoulders pretty early in life. It started when my mom would occasionally pin me down and pick the few small pimples I had on my face. I would get so mad at her for it. Now I do it to myself. Sarah, you described some of the same things I have gone through for years. I would sit right up on the bathroom counter in my own little world for hours and pick anything that looked like it would pop or produce any bit of pus. I never really picked scabs, just pimples and blackheads. I just wanted to see how much gook would come out (so gross, and so embarassing to admit). I found the whole process to be relaxing, but then I would feel terrible when I saw how badly I looked afterward.

The thing that gets me is that I don't understand why I've done it for so long. I really have a blessed life. I had a very healthy childhood (except for my mom's obsession with my zits), I have a great husband and four beautiful healthy children. I don't consider myself to be an anxious or terribly stressed person, but my kids can be exhausting at times. There has to be some kind of genetic component, because my mom and my sister struggle with picking to some degree. We all lead really comfortable normal lives otherwise.

About a year ago, I started to take more interest in taking better care of myself. As I am aging, I have realized how much I have damaged my skin and I am taking small steps to make things better. I have been using Proactiv, which helps quite a bit. Also, I started drinking lots of water and I try to get as much sleep as possible (hard to do sometimes though). I still find myself slipping and picking every once in a while, but I catch myself after a few minutes and force myself to walk away from the mirror. The kicker for me was about four months ago I ended up with a few very large painful boil like pimples on my face, back of my head, and on my chest. They seemed different than the typical acne I have had for so many years. When the one on my chest became infected, I decided to see a doctor. She diagnosed me with Staph, which is a bacteria that can be resistant to some antibiotics and can become dangerous if not treated. Staph is not always dangerous. Many people carry it on their skin and such, but it can become a threat when someone has a wound or a sore and then the bacteria enters and causes infection. My doctor said the medical professions are seeing much more of this bacteria and they are worried because it is very strong. I was put on a hefty antibiotic and luckily I am better now. Evidently, in the efforts to improve my overall well-being, we think it happened when I was working out at the athletic club. I probably wiped my sweaty face after using equipment that had Staph on it, and since I am prone to pimples, it caused an infection. So, since then I have realized just how damaging this devastating habit can be. Every time I go to the mirror I remind myself that I could infect myself again and it's not worth it. I get better everyday by thinking about the efforts I can put forth in making this better and then constantly reminding myself to follow through with them.

God bless all of you who struggle with this. You are not alone!

[Not a toddler]

you all are fucking nuts. Control yourselves and quit fuckin' doin it. I want to kill some asshole every day of the week, but don't because it's not right! So stop your little cries for attention and grow the fuck up you little whiners!

[Ste]

I started picking just out of curiosity to see why I got a spot. During my teenage years I had decent skin but if I got sweaty I would develop the odd spot or two, which I squeezed.

Then, I started picking my skin more and more. I started picking at my pores.

Needless to say, I still pick, quite compulsively. I pick everywhere I can now and it's taking over me :-( I am trying to stop but sometimes the urge is too much.

I don't really have any serious problems elsewhere in my life, but I often get annoyed at the state of my skin (it's not that bad, but it's not great) that I pick at it as a kind of release... so I get trapped in a constant cycle like a fat person who eats to get over the depression of being fat.

I am calming down now, though, but I mainly pick my arms and face.

[scarreddaisy]

I started between 6-8... I used to scratch at mosquito bites until they were scabs and then those bothered me and then chicken pox happened and then i was hooked...

[CJG19]

The earliest memory I have of picking the skin on my fingers was in first grade and my teacher noticed and made a somewhat embarrassing comment, I don't fully remember it, but I felt embarrassed. From there it escalated to my lips and feet as well. I can't really tell you why I pick, probably a lot of anxiety, I don't even have any knowledge of the actual disorder I might have because my mom doesn't believe there is a such thing. She just tells me to stop, as if I can control it and I did approach her about it once that it is an actual sympton of OCD and some other things but she actually laughed.

[brigittelee]

Not a toddler, why are you here? I can't for the life of me figure out why you would bother taking the time to read and respond to the info on this board if it bothers you so much. Go somewhere else, somewhere you will be happy instead of feeling like you need to vent your anger on a few people who are genuinely telling their stories. So you can't identify with us? Then move on. You're one of those people who lurks around support groups and tries to start heated discussions (shame on me for replying to your temper tantrum).

Picking is unexplainable, but so are many other habits that people have. I don't understand why millions of people smoke because it is so unhealthy, but I'm not on their message boards telling them to "f'ing grow up". Have some empathy! Nobody here is whining. We're just telling our stories. Perhaps you could take some of your own advice, and while you're at it, work on your anger issues and clean up your mouth!