OSPA - Obsessive Skin Pickers Anonymous steps1-12

[jem0920]

Hi-

It is crazy, a friend of mine that is in AA gave me a book and said he thought that these steps could apply to CSP easily. Then I read here that people are practicing these steps with success.

I would love to become apart of this 12-step skin-pickers annonomous group. Where/how do I start??

jem

[Spring Angel]

Hi Jam!

That's so awesome that you have a book. I quote from the book all the time. I have 10 years in AA and created OSPA so people could work the steps on their skin picking, and so we could start recovering here. Lot's of people here are working the steps!

We have pretty much been working the steps on Instant message. When you would like to set up a time to work through Step One, you can IM me. My links are on my posts, I have AIM and Yahoo. Then we usually set times like 8:00 to 9:00 California Time. Don't know where you are located but if you are in the states then figure the time difference. Wednesday nights I have another committment. So weeknights are good, and weekends, weekends I can do it earlier. Even noon here or whatnot. Then I ask you to read the OSPA thread (this thread) through Step One, and on to the post where I have listed all 12 steps. So that's your prep work. And maybe to think about your powerlessness over skin picking and ways in which your life is unmanageable, both in ways related to CSP and unrelated. Then we go through the step in detail at your IM time.

So for example this week we could do it any day but Wednesday, since a lot of people are working on Step Four now and don't need apointments yet for that step.

I am so glad your friend talked to you about this, and gave you the book. In the Book you can read the chapter How it works, that outlines the steps, and just swap alcohol for skin picking. It is similar. Not exactly the same, but close. Actually, quitting skin picking is harder in my opinion than quitting drinking. (Don't tell your friend that though!) But the steps do work. It just requires participation and desperation pretty much.

In fact, the worse off you are, the more devastated by this disease, the closer to the end of your rope you are, the better it will work.

So know that there is hope at last, and that you have found the right place.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Caring,

luv,

Spring

[Spring Angel]

Step 11

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

(from the Big Book page 86)

The 11th step prayer:

On awakening let us think abut the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Befor we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

An Indecision Prayer (and meditation):

"In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

11th step promise (and on meditation):

(page 81)

"What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. ..Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will as time passes be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.

Another 11th Step Prayer:

"We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work."

Doubter's Prayer (and All-purpose prayer):

"As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done."

And the resulting promise:

"We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

"We let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.

From "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" page 97:

"Those of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we would refuse air, food, or sunshine. And for the same reason. When we refuse air, light, or food, the body suffers. And when we turn away from meditation and prayer, we likewise deprive our minds, our emotions, and our intuitions of vitally needed support. As the body can fail its purpose for lack of nourishmnet, so can the soul. We all need the light of God's reality, the nourishment of his strength, and the atmosphere of His grace. "

Page 98:

How do we meditate?

"the actual experience of meditation and prayer across the centuries is, of course, immense....we might start like this. First, let's look at a really good prayer. We won't have far to seek; the great men and women of all religions have left us a wonderful supply. Here let us consider one that is a classic....

"[Higher Power} make me a channel of [your] peace - that where there is hatred, I may bring love - that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness - that where there is discord, I may bring harmony - that where there is error, I may bring truth - that where there is doubt, I may bring faith - that where there is despair, I may bring hope - that where there are shadows, I may bring light - that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. {Higher Power}, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted - to understand, than to be understood - to love, than to be loved. for it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life"

As beginners in meditation, we might now reread this prayer several times very slowly, savoring every word and trying to take in the deep meaning of each phrase and idea... We rest quietly with the thoughts of someone who knows, so that we may experience and learn.

"...As though lying upon a sunlit beach, let us relax and breathe deeply of the spiritual atmosphere with which the grace of this prayer surrounds us. Let us become willing to partake and be strengthend and lifted up by the sheer spiritual power, beauty, and love of which these magnificent words are the carriers. Let us look now upon the sea and ponder what its mystery is; and let us lift our eyes to the far horizon, beyond which we shall seek all those wonders still unseen."

"Meditation helps us envision our spiritual objective before we try to move toward it. ..When... we have placed ourselves in a mood in which we can focus undisturbed on constructive imagination, we might proceed like this: Once more we read our prayer , and again try to see what its inner essence is... a further look at what might happen in our lives were we able to move closer to the ideal we have been trying to glimpse."


Note that this is only an example! "Meditation...has no boundaries, either of width of height. ...it is essentially an individual adventure, something which each one of us works out in his own way. ..its object is always the same: to improve our conscious contact with {our Higher Power]'

A promise:

(page 104)

"We discover that we do receive guidance for our lives to just about the extent that we stop making demands upon {our Higher Power} to give it to us on order and on our terms.'

Good luck in your daily prayer and meditation, and may it bring you Peace and Serenity, and lead you to a Spiritual Awakening (read on the Spiritual Awakening, the true purpose of the 12 steps, in the next post.)

luv,

Spring

[hoppe]

Spring,

Maybe you can help me out. I am confused about step 4. It is so overwhelming! I looked at the other website. Do I understand it right, I should make a fear-inventory, a resentment-inventory, a sex-inventory and write a list containing every unpleasant thing that ever occured because of my picking? And at best it should not only include picking but cover others aspects of my life as well?? And somewhere in between I should admit my wrongs too .... I really feel a bit confused.

Maybe you have a few tips? Thanks.

hoppe

[Spring Angel]

Hi Hoppe,

You can leave out the "every unpleasant thing that occurred because of your picking," that's probably from Jane's explanation which isn't out of the Big Book.

Just the forms, a resentment list, a sex inventory, and a fear list. That's it.

If you start with the resentment list, columns one and two, and fill out the whole column it is easier to get going on it. People you might be resentful, angry at or were hurt by go on this list. You can look at close family, work, school, play, friend, boyfriends and strangers, to cover all the bases. Students, too in your case maybe.

If you sit quietly and say a prayer asking for Courage (the principle behind Step Four", and for Honesty, it might help.

Also take your time if you need to. It CAN be overwhelming to bring these things up. Write me back again, anytime okay? I'll think peaceful thoughts for your during this time.

sending a bouget of Hope, and a ((((Hoppe))))) hug

p.s. Making an excel worksheet similar to the forms is very helpful, then you can e-mail it to me when we do step 5 and go over it together.

luv,

Spring

[Tina O]

Yes, I would. I belong to a 12 step fellowship right now and I am very familiar with the steps and the process.

Sounds like a plan.

[Spring Angel]

Hi Tina,

Can you make it to the meeting on Saturday? If you need to know what your time will be you can use this link:

www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/

And if you think you want to start working the steps for skin picking you can IM me anytime, evenings on weekdays, anytime on weekends, or you can forge ahead on your own, but it's always good to have a sponser, just helps the whole process along,

Hope you will join us!

luv,

Spring

p.s., Congratulations on being in another 12 step program. That is awesome!.

[Spring Angel]

"Spiritual Experience"

from the Big Book page567 Appendix II

"The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism {substitute skin picking] has manifested itself among us in many different forms.

"Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous.

"In the first few chapters anumber of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Though it was no our intention to create such an impression, many alcholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming "God-consciousness" followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.

"Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frquent, are by no means the rule. Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the "educational variety" because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life: that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conveption of a Power greater than themselves.

"Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious member call it "God-consciousness."

"Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capble of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. he can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.

"We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indespensable.

""There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation."" - Herbert Spencer

____________


So that summarizes the Spiritual Experience, may you have your own awakening as you work through your steps, and come to find and trust your own Higher Power.

luv,

Spring

[Tina]

Yes, I am sober through AA too, and I am a living, breathing products of AA's 12 steps. It is through working my program that I am able to attempt to attack my picking. I learned that my higher power removes my defects in the order that they are killing me. Since I joined this support board, I have had 6 out of 7 days pick free. Even the on the one day I picked it was about 1/10 of how much I usually pick and I started writing and I stopped that day. In sobriety we count continuous sobriety so today I have 5 days. But really all I have today and I am not picking today.

Step one: I am powerless of picking and my life has become unmanageable.


So many times I wanted to stop picking and could not. I needed to pick to survive. Most of the time it was totally unconscious. I lost my ability to make a decision as to whether I picked or not. It is a compulsion, I had no "control" over it. I rendered myself powerless over it a long time ago.

My life is unmanageable. When picking and hurting myself, I feel so bad and ugly, I let every other area of my life go into a big chaotic mess. My grooming, eating, finances. I totally give up on myself when I pick, I basically give up on life in general. It's very debilitating.

I think of 5 days of not picking. Never ever have I been able to get 5 days together. My skin is glowing, I feel beautiful again. I can look people in the eye. I could talk to our VP of Finance (at work) and not feel totally self-conscious and hideous. The resentments and jealousy are fading. I went out with my friend yesterday and felt like I was in her league, so to speak. I did not feel overshadowed by her good skin and confident smile.

My boyfriend will see me next weekend. He lives in NYC and I live in Salem, MA. God willing, he will see me with a clear face. This will make him happy, he's so proud of me.

When I put my clothes on in the morning, I am not depressed about how I look. I have nice clothes to go with an attractive face. A woman of dignity and honor, with clear skin and a serene glow.

I am not camoflaging, hiding or ducking away. I can be present today, face people and life. I love not picking. I love this web site. I love you all who struggle with this.

I want to shout it from the mountain top.


Thank you Spring Angel for bringing the steps into this. I got a lot of relief and serenity reading what others wrote and posting my own thoughts. This is what gives me my daily reprieve from not picking.

[Spring Angel]

Tina,

Great job on Step 1! Yes the steps are awesome and I really like what you said about our defects being removed in the order they are killing us! I haven't heard that one before, but itsn't it so true? Keep going, do step 2, and remember that others will be encouraged by your progress, and that our Higher Power removes our defects that we may be of maximum service. I'm so proud of you!

Thanks for posting, and Keep Coming Back.

luv,

Spring

[Tina]

Step Two: . "Came to Believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

Disclaimer: For some of you who have not done 12 step work, who are not spiritual and perhaps may be mad at God- I was too for a number of years. It was suggested that I try praying/mediatating to a God of my understanding. Low and Behold, I tried it, however very skeptically. Because I was able to overcome my initial defiance and mockery at this concept, I have managed to have 1 year and 8 months sober, free of alcohol and drugs. So if you are dealing with an addiction (or disorder as we like to call it) such as picking, then try this 12 step work. All of us have tried to conquer this our own way and most of us have failed. With that, please don't be turned off by the "God talk". A 12 step program is a spiritual program, not a religious or dogmatic program. A higher power can be anything you choose at all, whether conventional, concocted or otherwise.

Yes Spring Angel, the steps do work and thank you very much for your reply. I agree that service is one of the most critical things in any program of recovery and I really appreciate your service here on the web site. You got to give it away to keep it!

On Step Two : For starters, I got on my knees today and asked my higher power (whom I choose to call God) to keep me from picking today. This demonstrates the essence of Step Two, I think. I believe that the only way I can not pick is by asking God to remove the obsession to pick and thus remove the insanity and chaos of picking. Low and behold, through this practice, I have not picked for 6 days now. Incidentally, I have been asking for this obsession to be removed for a long, long time. But as we learn, through progression of the steps, our higher power will restore us to sanity when he/she/it sees fit. I believe it is "the Grace of God" that has entered my life to keep me from not picking. He (or she or whatever you choose) has shown me through all of you on this site, to not pick, 1 day at a time for a cumulative 6 days. I am not even struggling with not picking, because the obsession is removed right now.

[Tina]

Step Two: . "Came to Believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

Disclaimer: For some of you who have not done 12 step work, who are not spiritual and perhaps may be mad at God- I was too for a number of years. It was suggested that I try praying/mediatating to a God of my understanding. Low and Behold, I tried it, however very skeptically. Because I was able to overcome my initial defiance and mockery at this concept, I have managed to have 1 year and 8 months sober, free of alcohol and drugs. So if you are dealing with an addiction (or disorder as we like to call it) such as picking, then try this 12 step work. All of us have tried to conquer this our own way and most of us have failed. With that, please don't be turned off by the "God talk". A 12 step program is a spiritual program, not a religious or dogmatic program. A higher power can be anything you choose at all, whether conventional, concocted or otherwise.

Yes Spring Angel, the steps do work and thank you very much for your reply. I agree that service is one of the most critical things in any program of recovery and I really appreciate your service here on the web site. You got to give it away to keep it!

On Step Two : For starters, I got on my knees today and asked my higher power (whom I choose to call God) to keep me from picking today. This demonstrates the essence of Step Two, I think. I believe that the only way I can not pick is by asking God to remove the obsession to pick and thus remove the insanity and chaos of picking. Low and behold, through this practice, I have not picked for 6 days now. Incidentally, I have been asking for this obsession to be removed for a long, long time. But as we learn, through progression of the steps, our higher power will restore us to sanity when he/she/it sees fit. I believe it is "the Grace of God" that has entered my life to keep me from not picking. He (or she or whatever you choose) has shown me through all of you on this site, to not pick, 1 day at a time for a cumulative 6 days. I am not even struggling with not picking, because the obsession is removed right now.

[tina]

Oops sorry for posting my reply twice. I also did n't realize I was signed on as a guest.

[Spring Angel]

Hi,

Sorry I've been delinquent in posting the long explanation of Step 12. I'll get to it very soon.

luv,

Spring

[Spring Angel]

A little bit on Step 12:

"Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry the message to other [skin pickers] and practice these principles in all our affairs"

What principles?!

Well, the principles behind each step are:

Step1: Honesty
Step 2: Hope
Step 3: Faith
Step 4: Courage
Step 5: Integrity
Step 6 Willingness
Step 7: Humility
Step 8: Love
Step 9: Discipline
Step 10: Perseverence
Step 11: Awareness
Step 12: Service.

So Step 12 is about Service. Working with others. Carrying the message. Why do we do this? Because, as it states in the Big BooK: (page 89)

"Practical experience show that nothing will so much insure immunity from [sin picking] as intensive work with other [skin pickers]. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other [skin pickers]! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fai. Remember, they are very ill. Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover - to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends -- this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."

That's it for starters,

luv,

Spring