OSPA - Obsessive Skin Pickers Anonymous steps1-12

[Spring Angel]

(The official website of OSPA, Obsessive Skin Pickers Anonymous, is at www.osparecovery.org

You are not alone!

luv,

Spring - posted 10-21-2005)

;D What a good day to not pick. Prayed about it in the morning and worked the first three steps of AA or OSPA as I am going to now call it.

1. "We admitted we were powerless over skin picking and that our lives had become unmanageable"

2. "Came to Believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

3. "Made a Decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

Anybody care to join me in this Anonymous 12 step Program process? I'm doin it. Period. It's time. And it's working. I've got 10 years sober so I know the steps backward and forward. We can start our own group, maybe set up an MSN group with chat and have little meetings online. Whaddya think all?

Today, pink new skin which I was proud to show off. Little or no compulsion to pick. Neosporin on in the car. I'm going to bed without picking.

Hope you're in!!!!

caring

Spring Angel

p.s. We can work on these 3 steps then go on to step 4, personal inventory on face picking behavior.

I dare you to quit.

[skigirl]

Yes, please!!!!

I'll do it. I don't know any of the steps, but sounds like you sure do, so count me in.

Good on you for the day of success. Must feel great.

[Spring Angel]

Right on skigirl. Two is officially a group so we can be the official originating group of Obsessive Skin Picker's Anonymous. December 3, 2004 is our official birthday. Now you have to have a start date. We'll call it a Freedom Date, how does that sound? I will have to make mine tomorrow because I scratched a little today. So mine will be December 4, 2004.

So here's the deal. we'll check in here every evening, maybe you can suggest a time. We can check in in the morning too if you want, but I leave for work at about 4:30 a.m. West Coast time. I can leave a message and a prayer though, and you can read it first thing when you get up okay? Unless your time is different.

At 30 days we'll have a little virtual party and maybe plan a real reward, like a shopping trip for new makeup perhaps, like Estee Lauder or something really good. That's just my idea.

But that's down the road. In between check-ins, you CAN'T PICK. Just for today. Only today. It's a one day at a time program. You can't possibly say "I am never going to pick again. We both know that doesn't work. So we'll just do it for 24 hours. You can not pick for 24 hours right? It will be hard but we can do that.

Okay so it's a 24 hour program. You can say "I will pick all my scabs off and dig big friggin holes in my face TOMORROW, but not TODAY. Then tomorrow you say the same thing, and pretty soon you have a few days strung together. That's how I quit drinking. Just like that. for 10 years. So we know it works, right?

Okay, meantime, re-read step one from previous post.

Write about this in your next post, about how you are powerless over skin picking, that everything you have tried has not worked. No one person can make you stop. No person, place or thing. Think about how unmanageable your life is as a result. Write about that.

Try to really be sincere about admitting powerlessness.

Then we-ll say together, my name is Spring Angel and I'm an obsessive skin picker. That's the admission, the admitting part. Say it outloud in your room. Write about it.

That will be step 1.

DON'T PICK TONITE. TIE YOUR HANDS TOGETHER< WEAR GLOVES> TAPE your fingers together. Slather on the neosporin. Then get down on your knees and pray to whatever or whoever, doesn't matter who or what. It can be a doorknob. The rug. Anything. God if you have one. Pray this:

I ask you now to remove from me the compulsion and obsession to pick, that I may be of service to others and carry the message to others that they may be relieved of their problem as well. Thank you for removing this obsession and compulsion from me.

Even if it sounds stupid do it anyway. Say it outloud to get in practice. Mean it. Believe it just for today. Act as if the compulsion has ALREADY been removed. Then go to bed and sleep well.

In the morning I'll write and we'll talk on your step one and then work on step two, okay?

You still in? Know this. Me helping you to stop picking will save me from myself. When your compulsion has been removed I will ask you to find someone here and work these steps with them. You must give it away to keep it. You must teach another person(s) how to stop.

Get it so far. It's really gonna be easy. A miracle is going to happen. I'm not crazy. My obsession and compulsion to drink was removed from me. Gone, the day I walked into my first AA meeting.

Okay, I care, and I don't want you to pick.

Talk to you tomorrow Skigirl.

Freedom day is tomorrow.

caring

Spring Angel

[faceprob]

Hey spring angel..I would also like to be a part of this group..I really want to stop picking! ..I havent done it tonight..and after this, I'm going straight to bed without picking. hopefully it'll be the same when I wake up in the morning. Hope this 12 step plan really works..I'm looking forward to quitting for good!

[Hecate]

Hey,Spring Angel I'm trying to work the steps, too.Been clean for 2 years(NA),but I'm finding it harder to apply the program to picking.The max I've done was 3 days pick free,still I'll keep trying untill I surrender completly.Did not pick today-1day pick free.We can do this together,one day at the time.

[Spring Angel]

Okay, now we have 4. The group is growing already!

First, today, let's say the Serenity Prayer. This is a tool to use when you feel the urge to pick or get frustrated or afraid or anxious.

"God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference."

So are you all ready for day one Pick Free? This is for 24 hours. til tomorrow a.m. then you can pick if you decide to. But not today. 24 hours at a time.

Okay so by now you've read the Step 1 post, and you have your assignment of writing. Part of the key to success in 12 step programs, (and by the way, congratulations on your two years), is that you have to be HONEST, OPEN_MINDED, and WILLING. It is a program of action. Also, there is a promise that

"Rarely have we seen person failed who has thoroughly followed our path" This is the first step PROMISE. So we have to be thorough. In our writing and in everything to do with this program.

Also, we'll get to why on this later but we need to be SEARCHING and FEARLESS.

So if you are putting a 100% effort into your writing and doing the best job you know how to do, then that is enoough. If you don't think you spent enough time, or you are worried you haven't done enough, then do more.

More on step 1:

"Admitted we were powerless over Obsessive Skin Picking and that our lives had become unmanageable"

"Remember that we deal with Obsessive Skin Picking - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find Him now!Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. WE ASKED HIS PROTECTION AND CARE WITH COMPLETE ABANDON"

The last sentence is the first step prayer. You can get on your knees to say it, or say it in the shower, say it out loud but say it and mean it. Even if you do not believe in God, substitute the word "doorknob" or "Face & Skin Picking Support Website", or new OSP Anonymous Group of 4 so far.

Okay then your writing.

Here are the entire 12 steps of our new program, OSPA.

1. We admitted we werepowerless over skin picking and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our Will and our Lives over to the Care of God AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked him to remove our Shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we have harmed and became willing to make direct amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

So, those are the steps. They are suggestions, not orders. We suggest them as a program of action and recovery.

You may want to write these down. They are your Program to stop Skin Picking. They are the instructions.

If you are not comfortable posting your writing you can e-mail me at [e-mail]. Your secrets are safe with me.

"Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here". Obviously this is a public message board so everyone will have access to your private thoughts, but if you e-mail it is private. Your choice. I have no secrets myself anymore. I figure, my darkest skin picking secrets can only help another to stop, so I will share them here.

That's all I can type for now, so we'll get to Step 2 maybe tomorrow.

Suggest you check in tonite after say 7:00, and I'll post some suggestions for prayers. DON'T PICK BETWEEN NOW AND THEN. Use neosporin, tape your hands up, wear gloves, whatever, type all day. Anything. This is serious business. You can do it. I am doing it.

With best wishes for a beautiful day...

caring

Spring Angel

[Spring Angel]

Sorry I left out the 12th step, the most important one:

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry this message to other Skin Pickers, and to practice these principals in all our affairs.

Okay, have a great day, see ya tonite!

Regards,

Spring

[skigirl]

Oh yeah, I'm definitely powerless over this. I've tried everything. What trips me up 100% of the time is when I give myself permission to go ahead and do it anyway because I feel bad, or becuase I feel good, or becuase I'm bored, yada, yada, yada. I don't have control over this. One thing I thought of when I was reading about praying over this, is that when I pray I generally pray for other people, not so much myself. I'll pray for self-control, but I think that's the wrong thing to pray for. Because if I'm reading correctly, I need to understand that this is not in my control as much as I need to accept my inadequacy. I mean, I'm totally responsible for the behavior - no one is making me do it. No matter how much I try and blame other people for making me feel bad so I pick and boohoohoo. But for real power, the kind of power I need to stop this thing, I need to look toward the being who is omnipotent - and that certainly is not me. Need to do some humbling of myself here. When I quit smoking it was as easy as simply not buying cigarettes anymore, and just did it one day at a time, then strung together those days into over 10 years. I think I could do the same with alcohol if that were my problem. But I can't stop walking around with my skin and hands, so this problem is available to me 24/7. Thank you so much for your support Spring Angel! Maybe our gift to ourselves for success should be meeting each other and seeing each other's beautiful skin one day!

[Spring Angel]

Great idea. You aren't so far away, I'm in Northern CA.
We could go ski/boarding!

Hope you had a good day of not picking. I did. Not hardly a thought of it. Used lots of neosporin. It's almost all the way clear now. It's a total miracle.

the idea behind the prayer to remove the compusion and obsession to pick is for it to be removed from you that you may bear witness to his power and help others to recover from picking. So in that sense it is a non-selfish prayer. You are right though about praying for others being the right thing to do. Also we can pray for knowledge of God's will for us.

So do you want to write aboout how unmanageable your life is with respect to this, or do you think you are ready to move on to Step 2?

I am grateful to have you too skigirl. This is a problem I could not deal with alone. See we need each other.

Note that in the steps it says "We admitted..." Not I admitted. It's a "we" program. One person helping another to recover. Helping eachother to recover.

How about you Hacate? How are ya doin today? Are you with us Anon/Artist? How about faceprob? You there? Hoping you all had a beautiful day. Some on Step 2 tonite.

luv,

Spring

[Hecate]

Hi,everybody Spring Angel,congrats on the pick free day,great to hear you are doing well.I haven't picked for now,it's 7pm here in New Zealand,& the day is not over yet.I'll write in my journal later on,just before I go to sleep,have faith that I'll make it to 2days pick free by then. Ski girl,I relate to what you said about not being able to get away from the skin you're in or your hands & that makes it more difficult.Can't stay away from my skin the same way I was able to stay away from people & places where I used to score drugs.Still OSP is an obsessive-compulsive desease like all the other addictions & I'm hoping that the same tools will eventually work for OSP as well. Your sister in recovery,Hecate

[Spring Angel]

hi hi, sounds like things are going pretty well! how exciting! my day was really good. You guys, seriously, my skin is CLEAR. The last flake fell off earlier. It hasn't been like this in years and years and years. It is such a miracle. So I am inclined to just keep going on this step thing, cuz it's definitely working. Thanks for coming along on the ride. I am praying for you guys every day now, that your obsession and compulsion to pick be removed so you can help others to recover from this Shit.

So on to step 2:

2. Came to Believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I have learned year after year that I am powerless of myself to stop picking my skin. I have tried many times, I have agonized over it, covered it, been shamed by it, felt less than, been asked about it in grocery stores ("did you have chicken pox?") jeez, if I could stop on my own I WOULD HAVE DONE IT BY NOW! I'm 45 years old. I GIVE UP!

so, what are the facts: I have a mental condition/disease for which there appears to be little or no treatment. what are my options? Keep picking OR
find some power somewhere that can stop me, that can remove the Obsession and Compulsion to pick.

Do I believe there is a Power like that? Well let's see. Let's look at the Power of a tornado. That's a pretty powerful thing. More powerful than me. Or of an earthquake. Or of electricity. I can't see electricity but I still believe in it, so I obviously have faith in electricity. So I have the ability to have faith. we have established that.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves....

okay I get that there is Power greater than myself, and actually I believe in God, but some people don't and that's okay, you just have to believe in some power greater than yourself, like our little group here could be that power, it is greater than we are as individuals, right?

.....could restore us to sanity. Am I insane? Pretty much! I do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Pick, pick and peel and scrape and gouge. And why would I think anything would change if nothing changes. Isn/t it pretty much insame to destroy your own face? don't I want to be beautiful? How can I be beautiful if I keep doing this over and over. I am like a man jay-walking over and over again. And each time he gets hit by a car and breaks his leg, over and over. don't you think he would stop? He can't stop because he has insanity. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

We can also see that millions of people all over the world believe in God or Buddha, or whatever. WHO AM I TO SAY THERE IS NO GOD? (quoted form the Big Book).

I am nothing, a speck.

Are all these other people wrong?

For myself, I choose to believe there is a God.

Are you with me and can you write about your feelings on step two?

Let's look at another statistic, the program of alcoholics anonymous works for millions of people all over the world and it is based on these 12 steps that we are working on. Millions of alcoholics have been relieved of their obsession and compulsion to drink, and many of their obsession and compulsion to use drugs, by coming to Believe in a Power greater than themselves.

It works for them. Why not for us Skin Pickers too?

You don't have to believe in god, all you need to continue on to step three is faith of some tiny sort, in some power that is bigger than you and that is not you. Just to be able to crack the door of faith open a tiny bit, that is enough to start the ball rolling okay?

All right so that's step 2. It's not rocket science. All you need is Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness to work a 12 step program.

I hope you all had a wonderful day! Let me know how you are doing, and tomorrow we will move on to Step 3, unless I am wiped out from work, okay?

Happy trails, and have a nice evening,

Good job on your writing skigirl!

don't forget, if you aren't comfortable writing on this forum you can e-mail me at [e-mail]

regards, and caring,

and sending Oil of Olay body wash and extra tubes of neosporin

luv from

Spring Angel (Neosporin Queen)

[skigirl]

Hey Spring Angel:

Doing so well today. It's a Sunday and I've been sooo busy. Started at 9:30 a.m. in the church nursery, just got home from a church dinner at 8 o'clock. So that always helps. Being around others, out of the house. My hardest times are when I'm alone, which is actually quite a lot of my time. I'm not alone exactly, because I have small people to take care of, but I find that a 2-yo mostly has needs. So what I lack is adult support. But I digress.

I do absolutely have faith in God. I keep, very consistently, however, deciding to do things that are entirely against my faith. I know something is wrong but desire to do it anyway. Which is exactly what the Bible says about people, because we're so weak, and that is why we need to have faith in something bigger than our tiny selves. It's like the more I build myself up and feel like I'm doing well in my faith, that's when I sort of get slammed down, and prepared for a reminder of just how imperfect I am. Just keep on keeping on. That's all you can do, really.

I would love to meet for some snowboarding! Wonder where we would meet? I just got a new board, and I'm going to get my boots on Friday. I can't wait. Hopefully I'll have time to get up on the moutain this weekend.

Well, I'm glad you're doing so well. Me too. Thanks in part to you and your positive influence. That's how it works, though, the 12 steps. Can't do it alone.

[nora]

i am here for the first time. just figured out how to get on this site. as I told Spring Angel my husband and I are involved with A.A. and Alanon, so the 12 steps are familiar to me. But, I've never even thought of applying those principles to my face picking.so I am extremely grateful. Yesterday I was trying to figure out if I should go to a therapist or a shrink or a dermatologist... then i went back to the "save face" site and found the posting from spring angel.
I have been picking compulsively at my skin non stop since the age of 8 or 9. I am now 45 yrs. old.This seems ridiculous to me.
But one thing I realize is I can be more sympathetic to the plight of the sober addict in my life. Many times in the past I would say to him"Why can't you just STOP?"
i have been humbled by realizing that I can't "just stop" picking either. actually I've been picking longer than he's been an addict! So I have alot to learn.
Since I am few days behind everyone,tell me what I need to do next.
thanks
nora

[Spring Angel]

hi everyone! I just got home, and I was telling nora earlier I brought my neosporin with me in my purse to put on in the ca so I wouldn't pick on the way home, but there was NOTHING TO PUT IT ON!!!!!! It' a miracle.
Last night I gently gently washed with the Oil of Olay soap I splurged on and then put this really nice face cream on and no neosporin. I'm not going to be the neosporin Queen for much longer I guess, God willing.

Nora, you are just a couple days behind the four of us, me, skigirl, faceprob, and hecate, so far. So why don't you start reading carefully from the top of this post on step One. In other words, when you get to the part about step 2 you can stop and do that tomorrow if you like. One step in a day is plenty. There is a list of all the steps a little further down though.

Also I'm going to start splitting these posts up so I don't type a thousand words and have the computer go kerplunk and have to type it all over again so hope you don't mind the split up.

on to the next post

[nora]

i REALLY am powerless over this thing. and i understand being powerless over ALCOHOL but i've never thought about my own picking compulsion in this way. my compulsion to control another person is familiar to me. so i need to rethink this thing. didn't do well today. am i trying to control my stress by picking?
am i trying to soothe myself?
i'm still powerless over all of it. it is a true compulsion,like my loved one's addiction. i've never looked at it this way