OSPA - Obsessive Skin Pickers Anonymous steps1-12

[skigirl]

Still doing really well ;D ;D ;D (that's one smiley for each day). Hurt my back really bad today, lifting my son into his car seat. Had my skills assessment in class and got 7 As and 1 B, so proud of that. Took some Vicodin I had left over from when I broke my arm, so now getting sleep and getting ready for hopefully some drug-induced sound sleep. Can't believe how good my skin looks right now. Seems like in the future I should be able to make that connection - don't mess with it and you get pretty skin. So simple. Going to still pray though. Even though I have lots of stress because my life is so busy, I don't have any huge issues that I have to contend with, like anything really emotional, so I think that's part of my success. Need to see if I can do this well when everything is falling apart, as it typically does eventually.

Spring: Mt. Bachelor sounds really good! I live in NW Or, so Hood is closer for me, but I'm DYING to go to Bachelor for the powder. I really suck at snowboarding so far (just learned last year) after skiing for 20+ years. But, yeah, we oughta do it!

[Iugulo]

My mom is an alcoholic. She was going to AA meetings for a while, but just a few months ago she quit. She seems to think that because she has a job and supports her mother and her sister's family, it's okay for her to "live the kind of life she wants" - which includes excessive drinking. She is a control freak, and a perfectionist... And some of that has rubbed off on me. The only problem is, I'm not perfect. I'm no longer an over-achiever, though I was in grade school and high school. I'm slipping, and it's driving me nuts. I have this CSP problem - I pick my scalp, face, and back - and lately I've been thinking about suicide a lot. Some of this 12 Step stuff sounds hokey, I'll admit, but I want to try it because I'm reaching the end of my rope. I posted at another web site, but no one responded to my question so I thought I'd ask here. Maybe it was just a dumb question.

I noticed that when I go swimming in the ocean my wounds heal a bit, and I don't have as many breakouts. I guess the saltwater dries and cleanses my pores? I'm really not sure. Anyway, my question is this: Would heavily salted bathwater, or salt applied directly to the healing wounds have the same effect? Or will it only aggravate the situation, since the saltwater does make them itch a little?

[Spring]

i know that if you gargel with saltwater it helps heal the sores. Maybe some lightly salted water would be worth trying. maybe not heavily salted, you know?

I'm glad you want to try the 12 step thing. It works for me. I have only picked one boo boo in a week now.

You can start reading at the beginning of this thread, and just do the writing, and post it. like a step every day or two. It will keep you busy too, so you'll have less time to pick. I know it sounds hokey, but after 10 years sober I just know it works. so I don't worry about that. If it works for me it can work for you. And it's working for skigirl too it seems.

I'm going to write some on step 4 tonite.

Hope to see you again! We want you to stop too!

regards,

Spring

[skigirl]

Salted bathwater actually does work - REALLY WELL!!! I've done it lots of times. Not only does it help the healing, but it makes your skin soft. So, yeah, give it a go. Salt is really cheap. DO NOT, however, rub salt onto the wounds. This will damage the skin, because salt is coarse and if it's not diluted in water it will make the area red. One thing that works really well is a sugar scrub. Softens, smoothes, and makes your skin glow.

[Spring Angel]

Hi, haven't forgotton that fourth step, just got really busy this weekend. Hope you are all doing well. Our face is still clear. Yay!! People are noticing, too.

Saying our Prayers, and thanks, with gratitude for removing our compulsion, and praying for energy for tomorrow, that we might do HIS will.

luv,

Spring

[Connie]

I'm Powerless over picking as I am picking at my skin and I'm powerless when I'm not picking at my skin. As I am picking I can't stop, and when I'm not picking, I think bout picking. I'm a member on this sight under the name of Secret, so I've used it as a means of recovery, but it hasn't really helped. I tried to work the twelve steps on my own to no avail, I've put lipstick and pictures, and affirmations, and paper on my mirror to no avail. I've cut my nails short, Gotten rid of mirrors, used a night light in the bathroom, all to no avail. I've tried to keep myself busy, and distract myself, used all kinds of drugs, therapy etc. Grrr. I can't break this habit, no one can help me break this, not even my boyfriend, not my doctor, or therapist. I stayed home from work today. I feel like I'm not as successful as I could be due to this disease. I don't like being an obsessive skin picker. I hurt myself really bad. Emotionally and physically I hurt myself. It's a way for me to hide.

[nora]

connie-
i feel the same way! i CANNOT stop .all week from last week i've been trying to stop and it's worse. thinking about going to the therapist for this. i feel pretty hopeless.don't know what to do!

[Okaii]

Hi.
I am 19. I have been like this for at least five years. One thing has helped me, and only one thing.
Every time you go to do that, just say 'I am an obsessive skin picker'. That's it. Just say it. At least for me, simply saying those words helps me to get away from that damn mirror.

[Spring Angel]

hi Connie, Nora and Okaii! I have faith that this can work for you as it is working for me. Remember my first post ("New to this site - HELP)

I don't feel the same way now. Writing out the steps for you guys and saying an earnest lengthy prayer in the morning, earnest lengthy prayers in the evening and then meditating after the evening prayer, AND carrying a tube of Neosporin with me everywhere I go, is working to keep me safe from myself.

Here is my prayer if you want to use it. It goes something like this

"Dear God, thank you for removing from me the Obsession and compulsion to pick my face. Thank you for allowing me victory over my obsession and compulsion that my vitory might bear witness to those I might help of your Power and Grace. Please remove the obsession and compulsion to pick from Skigirl and hecate, nora, and the others, that they might in turn help another skin picker to recover. thank you God. Thank you so much."

Then I act AS IF he has removed it. It is hard sometimes, but the further away I am getting from bad picking the more I want to care for my face, and not pick. I look in the mirror now and see clear skin except for one boo boo and one stubborn spot that keeps rescabbing and I say "you are beautiful" And I know that you guys can get that courage and strength too through prayer and meditation.

I am not religious. I don't go to church. I'm not a bible thumper. I just have to have a God in my life so I can survive. A god who keeps me safe from drinking, and now from picking.

The inventory is next, and I'll try to get to that, step 4, on Friday. My suggestion is just to re-read this whole thread, do exactly as suggested, post your writings on steps 1, 2, and 3, and we'll continue on the steps through 12, and then work on 10, 11, and 12 on an ongoing basis, redoing steps 1 to 12 as needed for new people.

Here is something they say in AA " you do nothing, you get nothing" Also, "Half measures availed us nothing"

Also, "nothing changes if nothing changes"

Also " be willing to go to any lengths" to recover.

It's all just suggestions. It just depends on how much pain you are in and how long you are willing to continue picking. I believe this is an alternative.

I wish you courage and strength to work the steps and recover!

luv,

Spring

p.s., I had a little struggle today scratching at some bumpy spots but was able to stop with no damage. Thank God. I have one boo boo I picked a few days ago and squeezed again yesterday. I am not perfectly relieved of this compulsion but my face is darn near clear.

talk to you soon,

Spring

[Connie with a couple days]

I came into the program of AA with step two in my arsenal against drinking. I had put my faith into the program of AA, I believed thatit could restore me to sanity, actually I considered my self a spiritual person before I entered the rooms, I felt that my Power lead me to sobriety, now I feel my Power nudging me to quit this malady. I fully believe my Power can lift this up out of me. I read we agnostics again, and smething stuck out that I hadn't noticed before- "We who have traveled this dubiouse path beg you to lay aside predjudice, even against organized religion. We have learned that even the human frailties of variouse faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to many." I still struggle with the concept of organized religion, and have considered AA as a kind of organized spirituality. What I think about organized religion doesn't matter because people gain from it, and millions have succeeded with AA. I wanted to mention this because after reading We Agnostics again, I feel like a key has turned inside of me so that I can come closer to opening a door.

[Connie starting over]

O.K. So, I'm really really really powerless over this disease. I know that my higher power can restor me to sanity. I've also given myself to God. I remind myself of this every morning and evening when I pray, I'm also reminded throughout the day. I'm pretty sure that when I pick at my skin I am in self will.

[Hecate]

Hi,Spring Angel & all of you that are working the steps.Just wanted to let you know that I've finally found the way to apply the 12 steps in dealing with OSP.Something has shifted & I was able to accept my powerlesness over picking ,not only on the intelectuall, but on the heart level ,as well.I'm doing the same thing I did in early recovery from addiction.I'm not listening, any more, to the destructive part of my personality & nurturing the part of me that wants me to be healthy & let my skin heal.Working the steps is a crucial part of that proccess of recovery,for me. I'm gratefull that I've finally found the way to let go & let my goddess take over.And I'm gratefull for all of you on this board supporting each other in recovery from OSP.I can't do this on my own,but we can do it together.Today I'm on the 5th day of ZT ;D ;D& that is a miracle.Just a week ago I thought I was losing the battle.But,I'm not fighting any more & that's why I don't have to go on hurting myself.HUGS,your sister in recovery,Hecate.

[Spring Angel]

What great, heartwarming posts! I love the chapter "we agnostics" I always get a chill when i read where god says or he says "Who are you to say there is no God" What a powerful statement.

I'm so glad Hecate, that you are back posting, I was hoping you hadn't given up.

I'm not gonna be able to write on step four tonite either, because I'm so wiped (I commute about 3 1/2 hours a day), but I promise to get to it this weekend, hopefully tomorrow, so we can all work on it.

I have had some hand to face action going on in the last few days. But my face looks good, and I'm catching myself and stopping. I have a tendency to absently pick while sitting at my desk, or in the car. Not usually at the mirror anymore. I don't let myself hang out there too long. They say in AA, if you hang out in a barber shop, pretty soon you're gonna get a haircut.

I am powerless over skin picking. It is an obsession and compulsion too powerful for me that's for sure. I have tried everything, to no avail, and have read in dismay the posts here and related to the countless vain attempts to quit. I know the 12 steps worked for me in my drinking and the compulsion to drink was just REMOVED. I never had another craving really. Once in a great while. Lot's of drinking dreams but never during the day.

So I know a miracle like that is happening here. I had fourteen open sores on my face about four weeks ago. now I have one area of pink new skin, one kind of scab, or dry spot, and one boo boo that's very small.

That is so amazing after what I have been through.

I do believe ina power greater than myself, God, and I do believe he can restore me to sanity (insanity being doing the same thing over and over expecting different results).

I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the Care of God as I understand him. I know his will is for me to recover so that my recovery over this disease will bear witness to you all of His Power, His grace, and his love. so that you can recover too. He wants me to reach out to others to help. And in so doing, save myself too. I believe we have to pass it on to keep it, but that's step 12 and we're getting ahead of ourself.

Sorry just rambling. Going to run over to the other site, "Stop self injurious compulsive Skin picking". I'll get you guys the address of that site so you can visit there too. I posted what we were doing over here and gave them the address in case they want to come over. Did't you come from over there Connie.

Too bad we don't have chat. I have yahoo and aol IM if anybody is interested.

yay for us!

together we are strong.

luv,

Spring

[Spring Angel]

Just to let you know if you are reading this I am writing the directions for step four now like I promised. It will take a while. I'll post in several sections just in case the computer whigs out I won't lose it all.

luv,

Spring

[Spring Angel]

Step 4

(from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous)

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

It says in the big book, and I am going to adapt it to Skin Picking:

from page 63, that following the completion of Step 3:

"Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision [to turn our Will and our Lives over to the Care of God as we understood him] was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our [skin picking] was but a wymptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. ....We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up [no pun here, really], which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestation.
Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics [skin pickers] than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened, So we were sore. We were "burned up"."

please continue to the next post.