OSPA - Obsessive Skin Pickers Anonymous steps1-12

[Spring Angel]

continuing on page 65 of the Big Book:

"On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?
We were usually as definite as this example:"

(here the book includes a kind of chart, a RESENTMENT CHART, that goes something like this: On the top of the page, left to right, make Five columns, you might want to use blank paper and turn it sideways so you can fit five columns on it, or even tape two pieces of paper together if you need more room. The column names are, left to right:

column 1 : I'm resentful at: {insert person, institution or principal name}
column 2: The Cause: {cause of your resentment, what they did to you, or how they hurt you}
column3: Affects my: (her insert sex relations, self-esteem, security, pocketbook, ambitions, personal relationship, Pride, etc. what did it affect in you)
column 4: Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
column 5: Where were we to blame? What were Our wrongs, Our faults, Our own mistakes?

continuing on page 65 of the big book, my caps:

"WE WNT BACK THROUGH OUR LIVES. NOTHING COUNTED BUT THOROUGHNESS AND HONESTY."

"

[Spring Angel]

interesting. That one just posted itself.

continuing on page 65:

"When we were finished we considered it carefully. The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. As in war, the victor only SEEMED to win. Our moments of triumph were short-lived.

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we wuander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the [skin picker] whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. ...For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of [skin picking] returns and we [pick]again. And with us, to [pick] is to [destroy ourselves].
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal [people] but for [skin-pickers] these things are poison.
We turned back to our list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to [destroy us]. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us wer perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these distured us, they , like ourselves, were sick too. "

my caps:

page 67

"WE ASKED GOD TO HELP US SHOW THEM THE SAME TOLERANCE, PITY, AND PATIENCE THAT WE WOULD CHEERFULLY GRANT A SICK FRIEND. WHEN A PERSON OFFENDED WE SAID TO OURSELVES, "THIS IS A SICK MAN. HOW CAN I BE HELPFUL TO HIM? GOD SAVE ME FROM BEING ANGRY. THY WILL BE DONE"

"We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.
Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? "

(you have already filled out this column on your chart but take one last good look at it and add anything you feel necessary).

"Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's. When we say our faults we listed them. e placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight."

continuing on page 67 of the Big Book:

"The short word [fear] somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did no we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble."

Next, make a second chart called FEARS INVENTORY.

it will have two columns across the top:

column 1: We reviewed our fears thoroughly (here, list what you are afraid of)
column 2: We asked ourselves why we had them.

regarding column 2: "Was it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other."

continuing on page 68:

"Perhaps there is a better way- we think so. For we are now on a differnet basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him does He enable us to match calmity with serenity.

"We never aplogize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear."

again, I'm going to separte this out. This is the fourth step prayer:

"We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our
attention to what He would have us be. "

continue to the next post.

[Spring Angel]

continuing on page 68:

:Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there....we reviewed our own sex conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hrt? Did we unjustifiable arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where wer we at fault, what should we have done instead?"

so now make a third chart titled SEX INVENTORY.

Column 1: Where had we been selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate?
Column 2: Whom had we hurt?
Column 3: Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy suspicion or bitterness?
Column 4: Where were we at fault?
Column 5: What should we have done instead?

"In meditation we ask God what we should do about each specific mater. The right answer will come, if we want it. God alone can judge our sex situation....If we are sorry about what we have done and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson....We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of our-selves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean hearache."


almost done.

"...faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. We hope you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. If you have already made a decison [step 3], and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself."


that's it for Step 4. Sitting down to do it is all that remains. My suggestion is to sit down with a bunch of pieces of blank paper and a pen, and first say a quiet prayer to ask God to help you complete this fourth step inventory and to help you be willing, searching, fearless, thorough and rigorously honest in doing it. Then let him tell you what to write. Let him guide you.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor, and congratulate you if you have gotton this far and are still reading, because that tells me you are willing to go to any lengths to end this skin picking problem. And that's what it's going to take. I'm not going to ask you to do anything that I haven't already done myself, but I am doing another fourth step just on skin picking along with you, and then we'll proceed to the next step, Step 5, where we will share our Fourth step with God, and another human being.

Good nite,

luv,

Spring

p.s. Guard it with your life! You don't want anybody finding your fourth step. It is personal and very private.

[Okaii]

How long will my skin take to heal?
It was almost perfect... then on Sunday, somehow, I messed it up again. I didn't even realise I was doing it. One side of my face is fairly okay (just minor pink spots) but on the other side I have five big scabs Please tell me how long this will take to heal and how to speed it up? I don't have any fancy chemicals.
I need this healed for New Year's Eve... Someone is stopping over at my house and they will see me two mornings in a row without makeup. I am so scared. WHY did I mess up my skin on Sunday?
I hate myself.

[hoppe as guest]

Hi Okaii

I understand your pain. I also hate myself everytime I messed up (again). But do not despair. Things will get better and so will your skin. I do not know any fancy remedies to speed up the healing of skin - most of the time I think putting some moisturizing (antibacterial) lotion on it and then give it time is the best way. Trying to mess further with the spots always makes things worse.

In regard to the time it takes - I do not know the size of your spots, but as soon as the scabs are formed it usually takes around 3-4 days for me before they start to come off. After that the skin is really red for some additional days (2-3). By that time I can usually cover the spots with make-up and they are not visible underneath. So I do not think you need to be worried about New Year's Eve, which still is 11 days from now. It might take some weeks before the spots will be completely gone, but I guess in 11 days they will be faded enough to be able to show your face without make-up to someone.

hoppe

[Spring Angel]

Okaii,

I agree with Hoppe, you should be good to go by New Year's eve, if you focus on being good to yourself, and not picking the scabs off. Neosporin, lot's of it, works best for me. I put it on anytime I'm not in public now. I almost never don't have it on except at work. It feels good on too.

Best of Luck and we'll be saying prayers for you.

luv,

Spring

[guestguest]

Hello Spring Angel, I am new to this website and I read through this whole forum, but I fee like you are all ahead of me on these steps and I can not do it by myself from step one. I want help so bad! I noticed in one reply you said something about meeting on MSN and chatting? I do have MSN Messanger if that is something you are doing?! I just want this to stop so bad, my face is horrible, my makeup barely covers it anymore. I need help!!!!

[joster]

i live in manchester united Kingdom, i am so glad i have found this site, day 1 no picking let me know how everyone is gettin on. new year new face, lets be strong and do it!!!! Great idea

[Spring Angel]

Hy shy no name person and joster. Great to read your posts. No name person, you can IM me just by clicking on the link on my recent posts. I have AOL and Yahoo and am in California as far as time zones go.

Zoster, all the way across the ocean, welcome, we are doing it that's for sure, and it's working, so glad you can join us. I have another friend in great Britain too online. If you have any questions or want to say some of the prayers together post about that, or email me, either one of you, at [e-mail]

Freedom is only a decision and a prayer away.

luv,

Spring

[New Girl]

Hi everyone! So how's recovery going for New Year's Eve? Well, I just messed myself up completely, and I was sooooooo close to being "clean".
You can actually count the number of spots you have? That is one more thing that scares me, because I have so many, I can't even count them anymore, especially on my back. I have dozens. Is it just me? Am I the worst case around here? I am really panicked. And additionally I have a cold, and that always makes me feel unclean, which results in more picking, and then it's the vicious cycle again. But until the New Year, I will be able to stop, and I will never do it again. From today on, from this moment on, I will not touch my skin again. I just had to write it down, it just makes the commitment stronger.
Happy Holidays, and thank you for being here and sharing your stories.

[Spring Angel]

Hi New Girl,

Speaking of arteries, I have actually pulled parts of little blood vessels out of spots on my face. It's not the quantity of spots, it's the amount you pick at them, I picked spots mostly on my face, over and over and over.
I picked on my face, neck, back, shoulders, tummy, chest, breast, legs, and arms. You are not alone. Once I was weeding around some cactus plants and I got a bunch of stickers in my arms, so of course I picked at them all to try to get the stickers out, and guess what! I got blood poisoning (a huge red streak running up my arm all the way to my shoulder), went to the doctor and they wanted to put me in the hospital, but since I had little kids I refused so I had to go in every day for intraveneous antibiotics. Sick.

Keep coming back!

luv,

Spring

[Okaii]

I'm gonna cry
I was so depressed because of my skin all this week I didn't stop. It's not in so much of a mess, it's fine with makeup, but without it looks bad. I have loads of red wounds now that need to heal.. they're fine, just red, but I need them light pink by Friday Is that possible?
I tried to get Neosporin but here in England it is only available by prescription and I don't have time to wait til my doctor is back on duty (I live in a sleepy rural area plus its Christmas break).
I just need all the help I can get to heal my skin.
I bought some distilled witch hazel, some antiseptic healing moisturing cream and some Evian sensitive moisturiser, not sure if any of these will do the job, also have vitamin E capsules.
*panicks like hell

[Spring Angel]

Okaii,

Be careful, okay, you don't want to overdo it. It can only heal as fast as God will heal it.

You know, if this person you are planning to see can't accept you as you are, they may not be a healthy person for you. We know that you are beautiful just the way you are, and will pray for you to have some acceptance of yourself.

It's not the packaging that is really you Okaii, it's what's inside the package. Just make the package as nice as is practically possible, and know that the real jewels are on the inside of the package, okay, like your personality, your courage, your strength, and your compassion.

Praying for healing for you, and sending a pair of soft leather gloves so you can keep your hands safe,

luv, and merry christmas,

Spring Angel

[Spring Angel]

Hi,

I just want to welcome Cricket to this thread. Cricket if you have read this far, you are certainly dedicated to making a start in recovery. I hope you stay to work the steps with us, it does work. One day at a time!

luv,

Spring

[Spring Angel]

Hi, I changed the name of this thread to make it more official. and hope some of you will come to join in our method of recovery!

Sending hope and faith in miracles...

luv,

Spring