|
|
Post by Secret on Nov 25, 2003 17:33:20 GMT -5
Today is one of those hard days. A day when I wish the sun wasn't shining if you know what I mean. I'm trying to do all I can for myself. I'm going to try to find a self mutilator's anonymouse in my area, but until then I'm going to go to AA meetings. I'm going to substitute the word drinking for picking. I'm just depressed today. I don't want to leave the house, I'm thinking as the day progresses I'll find the will to live. I'm probably going to go to an aa meeting tonight...I hope. I just needed to type down what's going on with me to some people who know. I love you guys.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elsie on Nov 25, 2003 19:27:03 GMT -5
Hi Secret: I hope somehow you are feeling better since you wrote that post. Depression is a horrible thing, and people who haven't had it don't understand it, even though they really want to and really try hard. I remember several times thinking "what IS the point?!!!" Fortunately I wasn't suicidal or anything, but sure did have a defeatist attitude. Eventually it would subside, but such a struggle! Hang in there, and write to us again. Any ideas why you're feeling like you are? Take good care, Elsie  |
|
|
|
Post by Canuck on Nov 25, 2003 22:28:16 GMT -5
Secret,
So sad to hear that you're having a tough time. I wish that there was an instant solution to what you're feeling. There isn't, of course, but you're doing the next best thing: seeking out help for yourself.
Being so proactive is going to bring you nothing but good things. Keep your chin up! Things are going up from here.
|
|
|
|
Post by Secret on Nov 29, 2003 18:40:57 GMT -5
Thank you both for your support. I'm still feeling down. I'm manic depressive, but that's hardly ever in my consiouseness, though it's pretty evident in my actions and attitude. Right now I'm angry at myself for hurting myself, and being insane, knowing that it's wrong to pick on my skin, yet still doing it. I'm angry for not giving more to everything. I feel a lack of energy. I'm tired of trying to be well. I just want to be well. I don't mean to be depressing...I know that this bout will pass.
|
|
|
|
Post by Canuck on Nov 29, 2003 19:31:43 GMT -5
I'm tired of trying to be well. I just want to be well. I don't mean to be depressing...I know that this bout will pass. That's not depressing, Secret, it's the darn truth! I often go through phases in which I'd rather not even think about my picking. Putting energy into just being normal can be so bloody exhausting! That's why sometimes I'll be absent from the board for 4-5 days...when I just don't have the energy to not pick AND chat about it, too. This isn't an easy task! I think that a lot of us probably feel the same way. You're totally not alone in this. |
|
