Post by Secret on Nov 19, 2003 22:04:07 GMT -5
I know I should share my feelings with you guys, because this is like my AA group for picking on myself. When I come on this sight I treat it like going to a meeting. Right now I feel down. I feel like I look bad. I don't want to see my guy, I've explained to him that I'm trying to recover from OCD and he needs to be patient with me. So far he is. I suppose I feel better these days than I have in the past. I feel like I have my disorder a little more under control in that I don't do it everyday like I used to. I go out more than I used to too. My last relationship really helped heal me. I didn't think about picking on my face because I was in love. That ended and I am once again confronted with this deep thing inside me. I can't believe what I used to do to myself. Tweezers were my best friend. I used to walk from store to store to find their bathrooms because I would take so long. Time would run out in one bathroom, so I would have to leave and find another. TIme would run out in that bathroom so I would have to leave and find another......and on.....and on.......and on......That's obsessive compulsive!!!I feel a little more free these days, not completely, but better. Everytime I start to obsess about my skin, my zits, my scars, I tell myself my obsessions are irrational, but I'm aloud to have these thoughts. I can dislike these things all I want, I just can't act on them.
