I'm new here- I also have an eating disorder.

[sapi]

Hello- I am new. And I wanted to respond because this was my first question. I have been bulimic since 1992 and I am 27 years old. I really don't know how i am still alive. I purge sometime more than 3 x a day. I just started to pick at my skin- only on my face for about a year and a half. It is starting to get worse and I want to stop. I told my husband about it last night because he wants me to go to a dermatologist and I told him that it's me. Now I want to get counseling - and I'm thinking of going back to my counselor that use to treat me for my bulimia. Should I go to a specific counselor for the skin picking. Also i have access to meds what is the best ssri for this type of disorder?
I am also curious about the fact that my sister pulls her hair - she has a bald spot on the back of her head from doing this and now that i have been doing some research i see that they may be related. Is this somehow genetic? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I feel so a lone sometime and think that I am the only person that can be going through something like this. I feel like no one would understand and think that this is a very bizarre behavior. Please help.

Thank you

[Froglet]

Welcome to the forum!
Trichtomania (hair pulling) and skin picking are very closely related. They are both linked to obbssesive compulsive disorder and I have also heard they are linked with body dismorphic disorder. If it is indeed linked, then your old therapist may well have some knowledge to help you. If you found them helpful before then you should definatly give them a try for this.
I have also heard that these disorders are all genetic, which could explain why your sister is a hair puller. My mother would pick at her face, and my gran suffered from anorexia. Perhaps that is why I am a picker now.
I have found this forum helpful. I no longer feel so alone in this, and everyone here is very helpful and kind. I hope you find some support here too.
Best wishes,
Lara x

[anonymousartist]

Hi Sapi. I know you are not alone. Welcome to the boards and thanks for posting your story

No one here can give you specific advice as to meds or counseling, but I think starting with a counselor you already know and trust is a great start. If he/she can't help you, ask for a refferal to someone who can. I'm concerned about your bulimia because you said you're unsure of how you are still alive, and I hope you are getting some help with that as well. I know there are others on the boards who have eating disorders too, so maybe they can offer some support.

I can tell you what I've observed on the boards here for a while. No one really knows if this is genetic (or maybe even learned from parents or siblings) and some people suspect that it is genetic. I think for some maybe it is and for others not (like some people seem to have it as a part of their OCD, but others don't seem to have any other compulsions or obsessiveness about picking). Also, a lot of people have claimed that SSRI's haven't helped them with this, but a few have come back claiming that Seroquel or other anti-psychotic drugs have helped a lot. This is something you may want to bring up with a professional. Check out the therapy/meds board.

--Becca.

[Happyface!]

Hi there. I'm also new here and have found so much great info. It's mostly just theories, but I'm thrilled that I am not the only one agonizing over this and that so many people want to help each other get over it.
I'm actually the opposite from you. I started picking at adolesence and only started the bulimia a couple of years ago. I'll go a month or two, purging two to five times a day, and then get a grip and keep under control for a couple of months. I haven't looked into therapy yet, but I'm strongly considering it, especially now that I know that skin picking is also a more common problem than I thought.
I have considered the whole genetic thing. I know that it used to drive my mother crazy if any of us kids had a pimple. I remember her pestering my brother all day about a big whitehead until she lost control and pinned him against the fridge and squeezed it. He was screaming and kicking the whole way. It was really surreal because my mother is actually very gentle.
Whether to say I just learned to pick because of my mother's behavior or if it's genetic is hard to say, although my youngest daughter used to keep herself awake at night by pinching her face, (3yrs old at the time) and I just caught my other daughter showing off the other day at how she could pull several eyebrow hairs out at a time. (6 yrs old) I must say that I am concerned for them, and if it is genetic I'm terrified!
Good luck with things. I also recommend seeing the therapist that you know. If it isn't their specialty, they could recommend someone for you.

[hdw]

i too am bulimic and a face picker, and i def. thinked there linked together. Personally i feel they feed off one other. I just feel lost.

[cjsmama]

Hi! I have an eating disorder since wow...1989 when I was ten. I am going to be 29 in about a week. I also pick my face...I think it started when I was thirteen or so. In the past three years or so, I started picking my back. Just this past 9 months, I started picking the back of my arms.

I feel alone too. I told my husband years ago about my eating disorder and he can't understand it. Now I just told him about a week ago about the skin picking and he doesn't see how severe these problems are.

I am embarrassed to be outside and I cover up everything (my face with lots of make up).

We seem to have this in common. I would love to know if you are still visiting this site. Maybe we can talk some more.

If not, I hope you have conqered all of your issues.

[meme]

Wow, i never realized how many people have this same combination of disorders.
When i was in the fourth grade i was a competitive gymnast and a perfectionist, so naturally, it wasn't long before i began to suffer from annorexia. My dissorder lasted for about 3 years. I was thankfully able to overcome it by around grade 7 after I had a friend reach out to me, and i was getting to weak to perform well as a gymnast.
Grade 9 was when i first began picking my face in moderation, before this i only picked little scabs. I am now in grade 11 and my face picking is completely out of control. I usually spend anywhere from 1/2 hour to 2 hours picking every night! By the time i go to bed my face is swollen, bleeding, pussy, and very painful. I am always late for school because I am either picking, or taking ages to apply enough makeup to conceal all the dammage I have done. Sometimes I don't even go to school because it is so bad, like today for instance. My friends and the people I go to school with have no idea what it is like, or to what extent my problems are because I have become a bit of a wizard with makeup. If they could see what i look like after i wash my face, they would be discusted.
I also suffer from moderate bulemia, although I would not call myself bulemic because i only purge about 2 times a week, or around 10 during a bad week. I have quite bad body image issues, as do most girls my age, but often wonder i this obbsesion with my weight is becasue I'm hoping to compensate for the lack of control i have over what my face looks like.
This connection between eating dissorders and picking dissorders really interests me, i wish i new more about it. I have done a bit of research on the connection between social anxiety and eating dissorders, apperently it is quite prevalent. But i have also read that all three (skin picking, eating dissorders, and social dissorders) have been found to be connected. I wish I could say why this is, maybe someone out there has an answer?
Oh well, thought i would share my story, wishing you all the best :-)

[Erin]

This page might be dead now, but I've just had a terrible day and need to share my store with someone - I'm exploding. I'm nineteen and just finished my first year of college, which in hind sight might have been a little less than I hoped it to be.

I've been trying to sort through my issues and figure out why my face picking and bulimia began, because then I think I'll be able to fix it. But so far I'm lost - and a complete mess.

But from what I can piece together I think my bulimia began subtly aroudn the time I was trying to get out of an unhealthy relationship and going through nasty medical stuff. Not to mention being in a whole new college environment. so I was trying to get control over my life and compensate for my lack of loving relationships. That all happened aroudn christmas time.

I don't know where the face picking came from - but it's gotten quite severe this summer. I always squeezed at pimples, but now i pick at the scabs and compulsively squeeze pores until my face is red and blotchy and bleeding.

Now the two are in a hopeless circle. I feel crummy about my face so I stay home - only to be bored which fuels my bulimia. Then I feel helpless and hate myself, so I pick at my face trying to improve myself.

I want help, I want to tell someone, but I've always been a perfectionist and I don't want to let people down. It comes down to me being a people pleaser, but right now I'm not even pleasing myself. This is the lowest point of my life so far, and I don't want it to be my future.

[Seabass]

I just turned 20, and although I do not have an eating disorder I have been picking at my skin for about four years now. I have worked hard to stop the habit, and have got the picking thing down to about once a month. So, once a month I basically tear my face apart. I get a lot of clogged pores and blackheads, so by the end of the month they have accumulated a lot to the point where I can't handle it and squeeze every pore. Then I hide out in my house for a week or so, however long it takes for it to heal up. So a week of my life each month is wasted on this, and the other three weeks of every month are spent obsessing over how my skin looks and resisting the urge to pick it more. I used to pick at my back, which has left me with some hyperpigmentation, but I do not pick at the pimples there anymore at all, for six months I haven't. So this is very good for me. I am looking into microdermabrasion treatments to help with the damage I've done to my back. I just found a website called stoppickingonme.com, which has given me a lot of information on what I am really doing to my skin. I am currently healing from a major picking fest, I hope I don't get any scarring. I hope next month I will be able to resist the urge to pick at myself.

[spom member]

stoppickingonme.com has a discussion forum that is a little more busy than this one

[KCW]

Oh my word - I know this might sound weird as I have also had an eating disorder (still have eating problems in stressful periods) but 'i actually didn't know other people had this problem with picking - thanks everyone I have been skin picking for at least 10 years - tweezers, pins - and I am actually going to tell my dr now. I was always embarrassed. I still am a bit but just feel less alone