I Finally Told My Fiance!!!

[pickles]

I can't believe it, but I finally told my fiance that I had csp!!! ;D After months of worrying about it, I finally did it last night! To everyone who told me that I would feel better after telling him, you were right! Thank you so much!

I hadn't planned on telling him for awhile, but I had to tell him b/c we got into an arguement about something really stupid, and I just got really upset. We decided that we had to talk about some things. He started talking, and he said that he thought something was going on that he didn't know about. He said that for the past 3 weeks I haven't been talking very much and he thought something was wrong. Well, when he said that, I felt so guilty for not telling him and for not telling him that I was seeing a counselor. So when he said that, I just started balling like a baby. I was so nervous and I kept thinking about how I was going to get the words out of my mouth. First I told him that I had a obsessive compulsive disorder, and then I asked him if he had ever heard of trich, and he said no. I was crying the whole time. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't say anyhting else. I pulled out my journal, and I just let him read my entry about how I found out that I had csp. I kind of took the easy way out, but I just couldn't stop crying long enough to get the words out. After he finished reading, I asked if he thought I was a freak, and he said no. He was so sweet and supportive! He just said that everyone has problems that they need to deal with, and I just happen to have a problem that he's never heard of. Then he started asking all sorts of questions, like when do I it, and how often do I do it. And then he asked if I had any information that he could read so he could try to understand what I'm dealing with. So I gave him some info that I had gathered a few months ago and read all of it as soon as I handed it to him. He was so understanding! I couldn't beleive it! It's like I knew he would be supportive, but I still wasn't sure how he'd react. I thought he would be a little mad though just for keeping it from him for so long, but he wasn't! He just said that he's was glad that I finally felt comfortable enough to tell him. I'm sorry for going on and on about this, but I am just so extremely happy right now!

And once again, thank you all for your support! I wouldn't have made any of the progress that I have without all of you!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Take care!

pickles

[angelkiss]

Pickles!!! Reading your post put such a huge smile on my face! You sound so happy and relieved! I'm so happy for you and you did it, you must be so proud of yourself!! What a great feeling it must be to know you have such a wonderful person who will be there for you no matter what. So happy for you!!!!! Take care of yourself, but I don't need to say that, you're already doing it :-)

[Teresa =)]

hi girl well u see love!
that is the only answer to ur message ur fiance is so in love with u and he cares u a lot that is why he want for u the best *cries *
kisses!!
teresa

[vampiress]

Dear Pickles: Congratulations! My worst fear of picking is being found out by someone I love, being discovered and then rejected by him. I am so proud of you for overcoming that intense fear. Even we who suffer from compulsive picking are far more understanding about others and their problems than we are about ourselves and our own. I think I speak for many of us when I say that you are a role model to us all. My last relationship was severely hurt by my secrets and shame surrounding picking. When a compulsion like that ruins your self-esteem for over 15 years, it makes it hard to function in a loving relationship. I am so glad that you spoke up, even though it was so hard to do; it's worth it. You have given all of us hope. Keep up the great work! Vampiress

[Judeko]

I'm so impressed by your courage. When I was younger and dating, there were so many times I didnt' want to get physically close to a guy because I couldn't let my makeup rub off!! Of course, they always misinterpreted it and like vampiress said, it really affected those relationships. I think this will make all the difference for you....to have someone close to you and aware so they can support you and you don't have to HIDE! Bless you and be strong.

[scarreddaisy]

congradulations pickles! I know had been struggling with this for awhile now... i bet its a huge relief now that it is out in the open....

[Stef (Incubabe)]

Go pickles! Yay!! Im soo happy for you!

[Elsie]

Whew! Pickles! I am SO glad you unburdened yourself of that load.

Best wishes,

Elsie

[Canuck]

Pickles! Oh, I am so happy for you! It was obvious how much stress that your fiance not knowing was putting you through, and it must feel like such a HUGE relief now that he knows.

This is the most wonderful thing I've heard/read all day. Congratulations to you, kiddo! What a huge obstacle to overcome. I'm really proud.

[Carree]

Pickles-

I am so proud of you!!!

I know you have been struggling with this for some time now and even though it was probably one of the hardest things you have ever done, your fiance's reaction was all worth it. You will now have a stronger relationship and support that you have not been able to have before. Now that you have told him, let him help you!! You are doing so good, keep it up!!

Carree

[Heather]

Pickles,

That is AMAZING! Your happiness just bursts out of that post and really says it all.

I am familiar with the tremendous relief it brought you. I felt that exact same way the day I told my dad about this. I, too, was scared to tell him in person. I wrote him a letter describing my picking, and he wrote me back the most loving, understanding reply, and left it on my desk. When I read that letter, I knew that somehow, eventually, everything was going to be okay.

Again, congratulations.

Love,
Heather

[Andrea]

i too just told my fiance, family and friends also. i went to my doctor about a month ago for a cold and mentioned that i have noticed some obsessive behavior and picking issues. it turns out i have obsessive compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder and csp. i had to tell my fiance and family, so i figured no time better than the present. i just came right out and told them. what a relief! i know people notice the scars on my arms and face, but i would just try to hide them the best i could. every morning when i wake up i tell myself i'm not going to pick at anything, but i just can't stop. i need to do something. i am getting married in may. i know i am going to look at my pictures years down the road, see the scars and hate myself for doing what i do.