I feel so crappy

[Lucy]

I feel so crappy right now. It's as if I will never have clearer skin.
I really want to go to prom with pick free arms, at least in a off the shoulder dress to hide some of the scars as they fade, but I feel as if I will always be a big ugly monster.
I hate this. To top it all off, my dance team wants to wear tank tops for the next dance but I can't wear them. I tell them it's because my boobs but really it's because of my arms. Now I won't dance.
I hate this picking and my ugly skin and I really want to stop,but it seems like I really can't control it. I try and try but I always fail.
I'm an ugly miserable loser.
I did'nt pick today, but that never seems to last

[Stef (Incubabe)]

Aw! Cheer up. I havent been doing that great until recently. I got myself back on track. Im focusing on stopping picking my arms...so I attack my legs...but I'll stop that in good time. Dont get yourself too down because of the picking because that just leads to other things, as you know. I've also been forcing myself to stay away from the cutting as well. 2 weeks without cutting. Its hard starting over again. Sorryto hear that your days have been crummy. Hope they get better.

[Carree]

Lucy-

I hope that your day today is better than yesterday. I have been living with skin picking for as long as I can remember. It is a constant struggle, I go through some good times and some bad times. I had a good six years almost pick-free, you wouldn't know that now. I really feel your pain, I hate having to feel like I need to miss out on things because of my scabs and scars. It is such an emotional disorder because it causes us so much shame and embarrassment. Hang in there and remember we are all here for you!!

Carree

[Teresa =)]

honey!
dont give up! we have worst time and good times and we have to beat this! dont abandond urself!!! think on hte future and do never leave ur goals!! some times we fault but we have to stand up!!! and think postive thanks the science has improve a lot!! really ;D so think that now how can u beat the picking and even live woth out scars thanks to it!! come on girl... dont abandond urself that is the worst... keep non picking.... cause u can.... !! really!! trsut urself ... and is u cant along ask for help really u wil lfeel more confrotable... and more love!!!
kisses
teresa

[Canuck]

Oh, Lucy, I am so sorry. As if dealing with picking isn't already bad enough... I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of these outside pressures regarding your skin. I can't imagine that it's very fun.

Just shoot for perfection at prom. It's a longlonglong time away -- and your skin heals quickly! If you start working on abstaining from picking now (and, of course, I do realize that it's almost impossibly difficult), it might become easy by the time prom season rolls around. And you'll look gorgeous in your dress!

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better regarding this whole mess. If nothing else, I think you're awfully brave to tell your dance team that you're not comfortable wearing tank tops even if you didn't give the true reason behind it. I would've kept my mouth shut and felt absolutely horrible about myself in the meantime.

You're not a horrible miserable loser. But it's okay to feel like one sometimes.

[touchingpeace]

I just want to tell you that I TOTALLY understand. All throughout high school and even before I was a dancer. It was all I could do to muster some strength and maybe, hopefully, at least for the week before a performance I would stop picking. My arms have always been the worst so I've always felt like I had to hide any sort of beauty I had hiding underneath all my hideousness. I realized that even if I could stop for these short periods of time it was just conditional and not because I really wanted to. When you do it for you it is a completely different experience. So, hopefully someday soon you will be able to see these experiences as lilttle blinks. You have your whole life as far as you know and each moment passes quickly so do your best to let it go. It will get better. Take care

[Lucy]

Oh, thanks babes ;D
I do feel better today. I'm trying to focus on other things and maybe tomorrow I will not pick (I did'nt pick yesterday but today I did.) So I'm starting over tomorrow. I'm trying to play "Hocus Pocus" (rock song) on my violin. Maybe I can play a solo!!! So it takes lots of concentration to play by ear and trying to find the sheet music (tough). Playing my music makes me feel so much better and keeps me away from picking.
Anyway I really really am going to try to stop for prom.
Thanks everyone.
xxx and ooo
Lucy

[Carree]

Lucy-

You are such a talented young lady....you dance and you play the violin. You should be so proud of yourself!!

Carree