al
Junior Member
Posts: 94
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Post by al on Sept 12, 2003 21:47:07 GMT -5
ok, Im still in crisis break up mode and since I dont have the desire to pick anymore(unbelievable) I have lost my appetite. Yes stress can make you lose your appetite but now Im afraid to eat because I feel guilty b/c he told me the other day that we werent even going out to restaurants and doing couples things anymore and so there should be nothing to miss blah blah. Now I feel so guilty for blowing him off and not spending time Im using food to deny myself and to punish myself for this relationship not working out. How do I live with this loss and not take it out on myself...
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Post by Stef (Incubabe) on Sept 12, 2003 23:16:35 GMT -5
I wish I knew what to tell you...but I dont know how to deal with things without taking them out on myself. I suggest getting a supportive friend to hang out with to help take your mind off things.
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Post by scarreddaisy on Sept 13, 2003 9:15:10 GMT -5
al--
hun,don't beat yourself up... Sometimes things just aren't meant to work out.. there's no need to punish yourself.. eat... lack of food in your system will only make you feel worse... trust me ... i know from expierence... be good to yourself...nothing is as bad as how we make it.... try watching a funny movie with a whole bunch of junk food... hehe its horrible but its the best home remedy i know of
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al
Junior Member
Posts: 94
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Post by al on Sept 13, 2003 10:15:00 GMT -5
thanks. I have no appetite at all. I forced myself to chug a yogurt shake. Im soooo distraught over this. Intellectually I know I couldnt go further with this relationship but realistically I cant let go right now. I feel like this is a setback to my life and will make me want to withdraw more. This is why I hate dating and spend so much time alone. THis is the most caring wonderful man but we are from 2 different worlds and ages and I cant see moving in with him to make a real life together. He is surprised how hard Im taking this b/c he didnt think I cared. Now hes moving on and Im in shock, panicked and sad...
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Post by Christy on Sept 13, 2003 15:21:11 GMT -5
Al, reading your post reminded me of a horrible breakup I had in college, I totally lost my appetite and for the first and only time lost my urge to pick as well. It is because I was obsessing SO much about it that nothing else mattered, I was numb to everything. I didn't have ANY happiness whatsoever and felt guilt, like you, and also felt it was totally unfair. In the end I realized it just wasn't met to be and I did find happiness again. You have to force yourself to let go of it and give yourself the right to be happy again. Write out your feelings and then visualize yourself without this guy and how your life will get better. You don't need him, boys who bring grief are bad!  |
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al
Junior Member
Posts: 94
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Post by al on Sept 14, 2003 8:45:43 GMT -5
I found a strategy that was helpful, I took a tape recorder and talked into it as though it were him. I apologized for alot and said somethings that were making me nuts. Unfortunately I work with him so if we dont sit to talk soon, I will give him the tape. Then I know he has heard what I have to say. This makes me never want to fall for someone again. But I dont regret dating him. He was the best thing...
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