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Post by pickles on Sept 8, 2003 22:43:27 GMT -5
Hey everyone, I had a really depressing weekend. My parents went out of town for a week, so my fiancee stayed with me over the weekend. I didn't pick all day Saturday, but my chest was and still is a complete disaster area. What happened was when my fiancee and I went to bed on Sat. we ended up making out, but it wasn't anything real heavy. It didn't get real heavy because my fiancee put his hand up my shirt and I just flipped out!  Even though it was really dark I was so afraid that he would see and feel my wounds and scars. I lied and told him that I didn't feel good all of the sudden. So I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. Well, that the dumbest place to go b/c I ended up staying in there for an hour and half just picking away! I was so upset with myself, I cried the whole time I was in there.  I felt like a horrible person for lying to my fiancee, and I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to be with him but I just couldn't! I was and still am very angry with myself! I know that when I pick I'm making myself look even worse, but I just can't stop! I am disgusted with myself, so I don't understand how my fiancee won't be. I'm just exhausted from trying to hide this from everyone and I'm so frustrated because I feel trapped.  Anyways, I was still really depressed today, so I finally decied to look up the names of some therapists. I found a lot of names in my area but I'm afraid that they won't know what CSP is. Those of you that have seen a therapist, how did you pick them? Is there a certain type of therapist that I should be looking for? I would really appreciate any tips you could give me on finding a therapist. Thank you so much for listening! |
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Post by kathy kathy on Sept 8, 2003 23:11:51 GMT -5
I have no tips for picking a therapist, but ironically the ones that aren't on my insurance policy tend to be the best None of them really understood CSP....but the best one I had just sorta ignored it and dealt with the underlying stuff. THough he was the best, I always wanted a "quick fix"- just for him to tell me something and I would be cured. But, it's good to deal with the problem, anyway. I could never talk candidly about picking with a therapist though. That's why this board rocks so much- you guys let me say pretty much whatever the heck I want and understand and don't judge. You could always point your therapist to this site, maybe he/she'll understand a little better.  Kathy |
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al
Junior Member
Posts: 94
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Post by al on Sept 9, 2003 17:55:48 GMT -5
I only told my therapist about my finger picking and never mentioned the foot problem. Im going on 3 months pick free and stopped only because one day I just got fed up and stopped. It had nothing to do with the therapist. I would go see a therapist for other issues but no one can get you to stop except you...
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Post by Canuck on Sept 9, 2003 18:15:48 GMT -5
Pickles, I can't imagine how horrible the event with your fiance made you feel. That he didn't lash out at you or get pissed off and leave says a lot about the type of person that he is. I know that you've been mulling over telling him for a long time, but I think that he would take news of your picking will. And perhaps going to therapy would make it easier for you to admit your problem to him. Here's a website that you can use to find doctors: content.health.msn.com/health_plans_more/find_a_physician/default.htmWhat's good about it is that you can search by which doctors are on your healthcare plan, how long they have been practicing, and even their gender! And here: www.docboard.org/ you can search to see if your doctors have had any disciplinary action taken against them plus their licensing history. |
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Teresa =)
Full Member
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"
Posts: 109
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Post by Teresa =) on Sept 9, 2003 18:23:11 GMT -5
hello  oh honey well.. i was with a therapist with 9 months and i could never talk with she about my picking i mena i was so close and all the "dates" were stupid cause i didnt really tell what i feel of all... well when i started to talk about it i did very little or very superficial... and i never told to her hey i pick here and how many times and whatever.... anyway i remember when we talked about that i felt kind of annoying i mean agg and she told me some stuff that she said 2we need to be profound" and this is a process and i am not mur finger and i will not let u stop picking u will stop along by yourself... so well we talk weirdly and she said me that i like to carry thing s and as i dont talk so i talk with my body.. and well... what else... that is a way of agresion cuase i want to make feel pple bad cause i have anger tha ti odnt get away... i also remember she told me that my finger was the thingy and my sking was the girl thingy...and i was a sexual frustration .lol... what a shame! any way welll i really dont know what to think about this.. but was the theories...she said but i quit her as not results but i think she help me in osme stuff but she was not the right for me! well i also began another theraphty like a year after( this months) cause i trully believe that the picking is first on the mind then on physic so i think i frist have to heal my mind and all frustratrios and when i am ready i can go to the dermatologist and be sure that i will do the treatment well cuase i also went to the dermatologist with the therapist and i fail so i have to be really ready to .get over all this!, how i was telling to u i am with a new therapist i see my pron different before i thougnt was the worst thing in the world was a catastoprhe and all we feel somethimes end of the world pple feel disgusting .. whatever... but thanks god i am seeing in another way... and see is not the end of the universe.. with my new therapist i was clear since the first time i mena i told about my picking and said i want to heal and she said i am good starting... as i think i cant be all live with this! so well we also did some group theraphy( wich is great)with another doctor with pple that also damage tjhemselves not necesary with picking and well u really learn and see how painful situations cna be and see how all can heal i mean we have pickers, drogadicts, alcoholics, depresion pple.. but nobody knows the prob of tohers until opf course u want to say and we talk about some feeling that are in common wich is great as u see how can interpretate ...so i have 2! lol... anyway so after this loooong mail the first i recomend to u is to think about ur self and get ready cause is tought and u will feel a lot of sensations.. and well .... first u really have to preapre urself and be ready cause is a difficult way...make ur effort and trust in yorself for the best! as is u the person and not ur theraphy! take care i hope i helped u kisses teresa pd: also a stuff i havent tell my bf about my picking even we really care and love a lot each other!!and he is very nice boy, or is he blind or I hide so well that he dosent notice of he is too charm to say what I do... anyway... i think i will work on telling him what is going on this days... see ya!!! |
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Post by obnoxa on Sept 9, 2003 19:03:57 GMT -5
Hi Pickles,
I can't imagine how you felt on the weekend but I feel for you, that's horrible.
As for therapists, the DSM-IV (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders) only introduced Dermatillomania in the fourth edition, so while this is an old condition it's only been recognized by the APA for the last couple of years. What the heck does that have to do with the weight of mangos in England? You're gonna be hard-pressed to find a therapist who specializes in it. Your best bet is to seek a therapist who deals mainly with BDD and Trich, they'd be the most well-versed in picking.
The best and quickest way to locate one is to:
1. Ask your GP, they'll find out for you.
2. Contact the mental health facility of a local hospital.
3. (Best for anonimity) Contact you local branch of the *insert country you live in here* Mental Health Association.
All of the above have access to who specializes in what, and would be happy to point you in the right direction. Hope this helps!
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Post by Butterfly on Sept 10, 2003 2:32:17 GMT -5
Hi pickles am really sorry about your bad weekend...i had a similar experience long time ago and i kinda know how you must have felt...and when you locked in the bathroom and ended up doing it again -though i dont remember ever doing that- i just can picture myself doing exactly the same thing (maybe i have actually hmmm  ). Reacting to a stressful event in a self-destructive way, it sounds so damn familiar! And the thing about wanting to be with him but not being able to (because of your own actions) it certainly hits home! How many times have i had to make up excuses why i can't see bf (sorta) when the truth was that i simply had hurt myself so bad i could barely see me in the mirror...sigh Can't help with the doctors am afraid...just wanted to chime in and say a few words to you Hope you are feeling better by now Take care of yourself and i vote for telling your secret to your fiance-good luck if you decide to do so! (((pickles))) Butterfly |
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Post by tellohvision on Sept 10, 2003 2:48:42 GMT -5
hiya pickles,
i hope you are feeling better now. ive also had a really stressful past few days and im looking like swiss cheese. when finding a therapist you should just try and remember that feeling comfortable with them is the most important thing. the first person you go to doesnt need to become your thereapsist. you can always try someone else if you dont feel like you have that connection. also, you might want to think about introducing your skin picking in an early session, because i have found that if i dopnt talk about it right away, it starts to feel like its "too late" to bring it up. (it never is too late, thats jsut a paranoia i have i guess).
good luck.
tellohvision
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Post by pickles on Sept 10, 2003 13:34:13 GMT -5
Thank you guys so much for your advice! It has helped a lot! I have never admitted to anyone that knows me that I have CSP, but I finally did last night! I told a friend of mine b/c I know she sees a therapist for other reasons and I just started asking her questions about it. I finally just broke down and told her why I was asking all these questions. She was so supportive, she didn't even blink when I told her what CSP was! She gave me the name and number of her therapist and she said that if she couldn't help she'd find someone who could. I am going to look at those websites that you guys listed though! Thanks again for all of your advice. I feel so much better now. ;D
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Post by e on Sept 10, 2003 20:20:04 GMT -5
hey pickles, check out the OC Foundations web site too. they have a referral service for therapists who specialize in OCD. good luck! www.ocfoundation.org |
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Post by pickles on Sept 11, 2003 21:05:45 GMT -5
Thanks e! I will check it out!  |
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Even though it was really dark I was so afraid that he would see and feel my wounds and scars. I lied and told him that I didn't feel good all of the sudden. So I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. Well, that the dumbest place to go b/c I ended up staying in there for an hour and half just picking away! I was so upset with myself, I cried the whole time I was in there. 
I felt like a horrible person for lying to my fiancee, and I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to be with him but I just couldn't! I was and still am very angry with myself! I know that when I pick I'm making myself look even worse, but I just can't stop! I am disgusted with myself, so I don't understand how my fiancee won't be. I'm just exhausted from trying to hide this from everyone and I'm so frustrated because I feel trapped. 
). Reacting to a stressful event in a self-destructive way, it sounds so damn familiar!