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Post by Stef (Incubabe) on Sept 21, 2003 0:41:29 GMT -5
[glow=deeppink,2,300]Ha! This looks soo cool. Anyways. Im in one of those..."Im so confused moods." I dunno why. Well...thats a lie. I do know why. I miss Ry. LOL. I just saw him last night but I didnt even get to talk to him at all today since Im at the lake. So now Im sad. And I dont want to go to sleep without talking to him...WAAA! LOL. I guess the good part is, all I think about is him...so that leaves little time to think about picking. I've still been picking., but minimally. I've been happier but...blah lately. And right now I am soo fucking tired. I should get some sleep. Ah well. I still think this text looks cool! Check out my newest poems... www.angelfire.com/sd/wishy/Me_today.txtwww.angelfire.com/sd/wishy/Maura.txtYay...alright...after this Thrice song is over Im going to sleep.  [/glow] |
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Post by ready2heal on Sept 21, 2003 11:42:53 GMT -5
well, all i can think about is this guy friend of mine, but i know i don't have a chance with him! i'm a freshman in high school, and he's a junior. at least we're friends though, so that's cool. take care!
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Post by Stef (Incubabe) on Sept 21, 2003 19:58:49 GMT -5
[glow=deeppink,2,300]Hey! Dont give up! Still try for him at least! And yea. Its good that you are friends at least.[/glow]
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Post by Stef (Incubabe) on Sept 24, 2003 0:48:14 GMT -5
I have a mostly happy vent. Besides the fact that I demolished a zit on my nose (just one though and its the only one in the past week!), I've been freggin' [glow=deeppink,2,300]happy[/glow]! Yea. Ry got me a life-size cardboard cutout of Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) from Lord of the Rings! He's standing there...next to me...staring at...well, the ceiling LOL, but he's still awesome! It's scared me almost everytime I've walked into my room. Ha! School sucks as usual. Im avoiding my history homework because we have a 28 page chapter to outline *shudder*. I dont even want to begin to look at it. I also have a quiz tomorrow...grrr. I despise that class.
I messed up with my picking again though. Every time I go to Lyme, I get stressed out and end up destroying myself. If I stay here, I can fight it. I dont know what it is about being at that house but its not happy...or fun...and it makes me more apt to pick. I think its because the bathroom is very well lit and the sink is really close to the mirror. Here, the sinks come out more so I actually have to lean over them to get to the mirror and unless I turn on the lights over the mirror, the lighting in my bathroom is pretty dim, for a bathroom. Plus, the lighting in my room is dim here too so I cant see as well and I have a lot to do here to keep my hands busy.
I really despise that house at the lake. Everything about it is bad. I first started picking there in the 7th grade. My dog got hit by a car there. I got a concussion there. I got poison...something er other up my arm. I got chased by swans. I nearly snapped my neck trying to jump a wall that dropped down about 4 feet, on rollerblades. There are good things too...but they just dont add up to out weigh the bad things that happen there. Meh.
Time to do some history and then get my ass to bed. Aragorn says Hi!! LOL and I love Ryan! ;D
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Post by Canuck on Sept 24, 2003 18:10:33 GMT -5
Here's my vent. I turn 21 next Thursday. Yay? I can't say that I'm excited in the least. For two reasons: a. I really don't have any good friends to go out with b. In the event that some of my friends (and, honestly, I have precious few) want to go out on my birthday, I have no desire whatsoever to drink. I don't want to drink on my 21st birthday.  How big of a freak can I be?! I like to be in control of myself. I don't drink simply because I don't even like to be in situations where I have the potential of losing any of my self control. I'm way way way too guarded to be drinking. And too conservative. And too shy and too...too...too...everything. I don't want to deal with all of the pressure everyone (my parents included, I would bet) is going to put on me to drink after I turn 21. And, honestly, why should I drink if I really don't have any desire to? God. Listen to me. Could I be any more uptight?  |
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Post by Teresa on Sept 24, 2003 20:39:06 GMT -5
hi canuck;) is okey to not to drink as u i dont drink either.. as the same reason.... i want to control the situation of doing something embarassed or maybe do soemthing that i odnt want others to know.... mhh... also my bday is soon i will 20 on dec... and i promise i will be so drunk to all my friends... and also always telling i want a surprise bday since january i think ...  .. well when i turned 18 i laso say i will be "happy" and i didnt drink nothing.... lol....well anyway happy bday!!!! a lot of fun nad happinnes on ur life..... is the greatest to have wonderful friends really.... i have a few and i love them and i feel confortable and i love them more whne they give me little porves of their interest to me... it feels a lot of happinnes on heart... even can feel some sense of cry happinnes...  well.... what else..... preasure is everywhere....so well we have to leave with it.... and try to handle it... i read once that the cutting and csp was to control huge emotions and we express with our body... maybe is the same for not to drink........!!!! well take care a lot.... and is okey to be shy.... really!!! is okey u act like u really are cause is the best!! take care:-* Teresa |
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Post by Canuck on Sept 25, 2003 18:22:20 GMT -5
Teresa, You're a sweet girl! Thank you for being so kind. I am very hard on myself, and I look down on myself too much. It is always a good thing when another person lets me know that how I am is actually okay. And, yes, I think you're right -- CSP is a way of controlling myself and the situations that I'm in. Obviously, it's not the ideal way to control. I'm just starting to learn that. I hope that everyone else is doing well! My love to all of you! |
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Post by Stef (Incubabe) on Sept 30, 2003 0:22:55 GMT -5
Ugh. My fuck faced father is back from some business trip to Michigan. Yay. He hasnt said one nice thing to me since he got home at like 8. Jerk. He was bitching at me to clean the kitchen and take the dog out while I was on the phone with Ry. I ended up doing what he asked then locked myself in my room and cried while on the phone. I gave myself a headache I cried so much. I hate him so much. I dont understand why he treats us all like shit. How hard is it to treat someone the way you want to be treated? And he gets mad at me because I treat him the same way he treats me...thats how he treats me so that must be how he wants to be treated. I hate his stupid lectures on respect and that I should bow to his feet because he is the father and I am the daughter. There are such things as contraceptives...seriously. Think about what you are going to do to you kids and how badly your going ot screw them up by treating them like worthless shit, before having kids at all. Stupid ass...GRRRR
Then he tries to make all nice by offering me a ride to school in the morning. I told him to shove it and that I'd rather get up 20 minutes earlier to take the bus. At least no one bitches at me and makes me feel like shit there. ARR [/vent]
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Teresa =)
Full Member
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"
Posts: 109
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Post by Teresa =) on Sept 30, 2003 11:47:54 GMT -5
hi Canuck! ;D i am not being kind...!! I just telling the true!! really but thanks anyway for ur nice words .... yup but u have to understand u cant depend for all the others said!1 cause is u and not others... really! foucs on what u want and how u are not in others... is u said one who loves wine dont drink wine for a year u think he will feel bad.. or stop driniking wine no way!!! lol... anyway really be calm and dont be that hurt on urself.. and also is better to be on controll... well for me.... yup u are right about csp... is a bad way to deal with problems and tension all the love to u too!!  } Teresa |
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[/glow]
How big of a freak can I be?!
.. 
well.... what else..... preasure is everywhere....so well we have to leave with it.... and try to handle it... i read once that the cutting and csp was to control huge emotions and we express with our body... maybe is the same for not to drink........!!!!
}