Post by marker on Jul 30, 2004 15:24:23 GMT -5
The reason I feel like posting this story about me is because I think it would be a good way for y'all to get to know me. First of all, I'm 20 yrs old and in college. Seeing as y'all gave great insight into skigirl's love woes, I'm hoping to see what y'all think of this.
Well, I lived on campus for the first year of college, and befriended this guy that lived a few doors down from me second semester. I was instantly drawn to his dorm room, but since I don't date, I thought he was the coolest guy in the world, but also never to be more than a friend. With that determination, our friendship blossomed over the semester. FYI: I'm a Muslim, so I strongly believe that dating causes complications (you know what i mean). I never really believed that a guy and a girl can truly be friends without some tension, but he was soo cool, and we had so much fun talking to eachother, I thought maybe I was wrong. Well, over the summer, he left the country to study abroad, in a remote location..he's a geology major. And I moved back home in the fall..so we didn't really keep in touch after that. I guess we did try at first. He called me once to hang out, I made up some excuse for why I couldn't go. I would have rather met him up on campus, so it could be more casual, but he never really responded to that. We only hung out when we ran in to eachother really, so we were more along the lines of aquaintance-friends. Over the past year I've only seen him about 3 or 4 times. 2 times we ran into eachother on campus. When he called me to hang out, being too nervous to call back..I just sent him an email, and thus opened the lines of internet communications..which was good, because I never had much to say to him on the phone anyway. Well, we finally got together once in the winter break, with a few of his friends, which went ok...he had a girlfriend at the time..so I felt safe! And then I emailed him to say goodbye and bon voyage at the beginning of the summer, since he's graduated and moving. We hung out the other night with my old roomate from first yr, who i'm still pretty good friends with. She used to hang out with us back in the day, though she never really clicked with him that well.
But last night he was kinda agressive. We always acted kinda goofy around eachother, and kinda had a mutual crush on eachother it seems, though he was respectful and never crossed the line with me. I think maybe the reason might be because of his experience with his girlfriend this past yr who broke his heart.
We got into this discussion about religion, and inter-religion relationships, and I shared with him my disaproval of it. I didn't mean to trample his feelings, but I wanted to be sincere, and gently make myself clear to him. Anyway, he alluded to me as being torn inside for liking him, yet denying my feelings towards him and not living life to its fullest. He was on his second tequila/margarita..so I thought maybe he was acting weird because of that. But as the night progressed, he kept circling that topic, and made me feel bad about really liking him, but being too much of a chickshit to go after him. He even complimented me a lot..which he didnt't really do that much in the past.
I guess we could have had a more open conversation about our feelings about the whole thing, but I didn't see a point in it. I know he must understand why I try to keep a distance..he has studied Islam, and he's a pretty spiritual person. So I don't get what his problem was.
Basically, it was a bittersweet meeting, and I feel like I've lost a friend..or was disillusioned into thinking he was my friend, while all the while he was thinking of how to bring me out of my shell. Its a shield, not a shell..if only he could see it that way. What are y'alls thoughts on this weird friendship? Okay, so I did daydream about him a lot..thats not friend-like. So i resolved that being friends with a guy..esp one as attractive and smart as him..will entail those feelings..but they're to be ignored. I'm so confused..and left feeling like I caused him and I more pain that happiness. I don't think I'll be keeping in touch with eachother in the future, even though we ended the meeting on a happy note, and I genuinly enjoy his company. It just doesn't work.
sincerely,
marker
Well, I lived on campus for the first year of college, and befriended this guy that lived a few doors down from me second semester. I was instantly drawn to his dorm room, but since I don't date, I thought he was the coolest guy in the world, but also never to be more than a friend. With that determination, our friendship blossomed over the semester. FYI: I'm a Muslim, so I strongly believe that dating causes complications (you know what i mean). I never really believed that a guy and a girl can truly be friends without some tension, but he was soo cool, and we had so much fun talking to eachother, I thought maybe I was wrong. Well, over the summer, he left the country to study abroad, in a remote location..he's a geology major. And I moved back home in the fall..so we didn't really keep in touch after that. I guess we did try at first. He called me once to hang out, I made up some excuse for why I couldn't go. I would have rather met him up on campus, so it could be more casual, but he never really responded to that. We only hung out when we ran in to eachother really, so we were more along the lines of aquaintance-friends. Over the past year I've only seen him about 3 or 4 times. 2 times we ran into eachother on campus. When he called me to hang out, being too nervous to call back..I just sent him an email, and thus opened the lines of internet communications..which was good, because I never had much to say to him on the phone anyway. Well, we finally got together once in the winter break, with a few of his friends, which went ok...he had a girlfriend at the time..so I felt safe! And then I emailed him to say goodbye and bon voyage at the beginning of the summer, since he's graduated and moving. We hung out the other night with my old roomate from first yr, who i'm still pretty good friends with. She used to hang out with us back in the day, though she never really clicked with him that well.
But last night he was kinda agressive. We always acted kinda goofy around eachother, and kinda had a mutual crush on eachother it seems, though he was respectful and never crossed the line with me. I think maybe the reason might be because of his experience with his girlfriend this past yr who broke his heart.
We got into this discussion about religion, and inter-religion relationships, and I shared with him my disaproval of it. I didn't mean to trample his feelings, but I wanted to be sincere, and gently make myself clear to him. Anyway, he alluded to me as being torn inside for liking him, yet denying my feelings towards him and not living life to its fullest. He was on his second tequila/margarita..so I thought maybe he was acting weird because of that. But as the night progressed, he kept circling that topic, and made me feel bad about really liking him, but being too much of a chickshit to go after him. He even complimented me a lot..which he didnt't really do that much in the past.
I guess we could have had a more open conversation about our feelings about the whole thing, but I didn't see a point in it. I know he must understand why I try to keep a distance..he has studied Islam, and he's a pretty spiritual person. So I don't get what his problem was.
Basically, it was a bittersweet meeting, and I feel like I've lost a friend..or was disillusioned into thinking he was my friend, while all the while he was thinking of how to bring me out of my shell. Its a shield, not a shell..if only he could see it that way. What are y'alls thoughts on this weird friendship? Okay, so I did daydream about him a lot..thats not friend-like. So i resolved that being friends with a guy..esp one as attractive and smart as him..will entail those feelings..but they're to be ignored. I'm so confused..and left feeling like I caused him and I more pain that happiness. I don't think I'll be keeping in touch with eachother in the future, even though we ended the meeting on a happy note, and I genuinly enjoy his company. It just doesn't work.
sincerely,
marker