This may help

[Ave]

Hi. My name is April. I am 23 years old, and I pick at my skin... I have been for the last 10 years. I mostly pick at the skin on my face, but I have also made a bad habit of picking at the skin on my legs, back, and chest. I used to do it every night. Now, I am down to once every couple weeks.

I have been through a lot in my life. I've been through a miserable childhood. I have been raped, abused, and kidnapped. I constantly look for ways to challenge myself so that I may prove that I am strong and dedicated. I am currently attending school to become a doctor, I have served 4 years in the Marine Corps during the war and received quite a few awards for my achievements. I volunteer for environmental and disabled persons programs. I am a good daughter, a good sister, and a good friend.

With that being said, it is unfortunate to say that I still don't feel that I am worthy enough to kick this habit. I can excel in every other aspect of my life except for this one. When it comes to picking at my skin, I feel weak, alone, ashamed, and guilty. This will be the most difficult challenge of my life.

I have discovered something that has helped me and may help you. The NUMBER ONE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO NOT FORGET. Do not forget how you feel right now. When you are done picking at your skin, either immediately after or the day after (which always seems to be worse for me because that's when it really sets in), write about how you feel. Write it in a journal, on a piece of paper, or in forums like these (also try 43things.com). Record your voice using a tape recorder or your computer. Be completely honest with yourself. Explain how you felt before you did it, how you felt when you were doing it, and how you felt afterwards. DO NOT HOLD BACK. If you want to say, "I feel like a sh*t!", then say it. If you are into music like me, look for a song that expresses how you feel at the moment. Music has the power to bring you back. If you have a really good friend that you can confide in, tell him/her everything. Ask for their support. I usually pick at my skin at night before I go to bed. If I feel scared that I may give in and pick, I will call my friend beforehand so that I can ask him to help me remember how I felt when I was done doing it the last time. This takes a very good friend to listen to you and support you. I will sometimes listen to the song that reminds me of when I was done picking at my skin the last time. I write poetry about my feelings of guilt and anger after I am finished picking. I read them when I feel like I may pick. My most valuable suggestion to help reduce face picking is to have someone with you when you are most vulnerable. When I was with a friend or my sister, I would ask if they could stand in the bathroom and talk to me while I washed my face. Sometimes just leaving the bathroom door open helped. When I am alone, I would bring my cellphone to the bathroom with me. Even if I wasn't going in there to wash my face, there was still a possibility that I could have given in. If I started to do it, I would immediately force myself to call a friend.

These techniques have not cured me, but have definitely helped me in some way. We are all different, so our reactions to treatments and therapy will differ as well. The one thing I think holds true is the longer the period of time goes by that you haven't picked at your skin, the likeliness of you picking will go down. Hours turn into days, days into weeks, weeks into months, and so on. I have only been able to go 2 months without it. I am still very proud of that. You need to remember how you feel now so that you will not want to go back to it later on.

[elinor]

hey there Ave, you have no idea what it did to me, reading what youve wrote... I can relate to so much of it.
I just discovered this site 3 days ago and still can not believe it!
I have so much to write, but Ill do it another day. Just want to say that we all need to post here more often, as a source of support we cannot find anywhere else. by th way, I'm from Israel, sorry for my poor english...

p.s - Its been 3 days since my last picking

good luck to you all

[Ashamed Picker]

I'm so embarassed about the fact that I sabotage my own skin. I see women with beautiful flawless skin, and I don't know how they can possibly look like that, but obviously not everyone picks their face like I do.
Not that I really have any scars, or even that my skin is that bad, but if I could just quit this awful habit for good, I could have almost perfect skin like those other women.... That's why I have to quit!!
I found the site stoppickingonme.com (or something like that) last wednesday, and it really made me want to properly try to quit. I managed to hold out for the last 5 days, by wearing a thick rubber band around my wrist, and snapping it whenever I got close to picking. It was working really well, until I saw a pimple on my cheek and felt compelled to squeeze it, but I stopped at that, so at least it wasn't a full attack.
It's hard to trust that my skin will be able to clear itself without my picking, although really I'm the one messing it up in the first place!
I think my reason for picking is trully sabotage, I can't just let myself be happy, I have to destroy my face...to create a problem, I dunno what it really is. I find it hard to believe that I deserve to be happy, and to have what I want in life.
I think I really can quit though, it's so important to me. My picking habit has really impeded me; I've avoided friends when my skin is bad after an attack, I've avoided being close to my boyfriend (at the time) because of my skin, I've felt ashamed and not wanted to go out because of the harm I've caused to myself. I've treated my family badly because I was really just so pissed off at myself.
So I'm writing this here on this website anonymously because I can't really tell anyone about this problem because I'm so embarassed. So I hope you can wish me luck in quitting, and I wish you all the same!!

[Erin]

I am so happy to find this site. I for at least a year have been completely overtaken by the need to pick. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought there was no one else in the world who would sit there and do this to their skin. I pick at the skin on my face, my back, my feet, my chest, literally anywhere I could conjure up a blemish or even something that in my mind looked like it could lead to a blemish. I will get stuck doing it for almost an hour a day and I am just so ashamed to wear any clothing that shows my skin for fear that people will ask me why my skin is so messed up. I do have tremendous amounts of stress in my life and I do notice the urge gets worse when i am overly stressed. I didn't even know that this is something that happens to other people. I just seriously thought I was sick in the head. I've tried cutting my nails and cutting down time completely alone for i am terribly embarrassed if i get caught doing it in front of people. I always catch myself touching my skin subconciously looking for anything to scratch at. I hope this website will help. Goodluck to everyone.