Saving and Examining (Warning: Grossness ahead!)

[Chicago1]

I was having a stressful morning. (I was confronted with some "business" regarding my mother's recent, unexpected death. But that's a whole other story.) Also, I haven't picked my face in a couple of days, so I was pretty desperate for a release.

I was walking around the house with no shoes or socks on and I broke a long toenail. Immediately, I pulled it all the way off and kept it. As soon as I had a chance, I went to my room, closed the door and examined the toenail.

Like skin picking, I went into kind of a trance. It was so nice and relaxing. I was actually euphoric. I allowed myself to go through with it because I wasn't doing any (physical) harm to myself. I held it in my hand and got excited by how big it was (I haven't had a pedi in a while!). I studied how it looked from various angles, studied the texture, looked for dirt. Finally, I smelled it. (I warned you this was gross!) I actually got pleasure from the "toe smell." I ended up saving it--it's on the shelf next to my bed.

Meanwhile I was supposed to be taking a shower and getting ready so my family and I could leave the house. I just couldn't do it, though. The "Examination" took priority over everything else.

So, um, does anyone else do wacky stuff like this??

[Chicago1]

Oops, I meant to post this on the Support Board.

[rosy rose]

oh my goodness! I totally do this to!!! and I thought I was crazy.. I usually do this with my scabs though, I've been known to lick them once in a while after examining them. But I also do this with my toenails too, but usually only if they're big. And yeah, I save them, but only until the next day because then I it hits me how disgusting that is and I get mad at myself. I'm new by the way, but when I saw this I definitely felt compelled to post something!!

[Chicago1]

Yay! See, this is why I posted it. Not only did I want no longer to feel so weird and alone, I wanted someone else to feel the same way ;D

Yeah, I've probably done it with scabs, too. I can't remember why, but a few years ago for some reason I lost a sizeable piece of skin (maybe it was a sunburn blister). I was so excited by this big "specimen" that didn't just examine it, I wrapped it in foil and kept it. In fact, lol, I think it's STILL in my closet!!

I'm the exact same way about the nails. I'm so excited to have them that I think, "I can get a lot of use out of these." Then later, when the trance is way over, the nails are just, well, nails!

Honestly, I think everyone does weird stuff like this. I guess some people (like me) can let this behavior take control and/or injure them.