Hello - glad I found you

[MimiL]

Tonight my dear husband just lost it on me for picking. He doesnt understand OCD and that I really havent been able to help it. Glad I found you guys though - this seems like a good place to start.

Here is the story - choppy but you will get it I suppose.

A few months ago my husband asked that I stop wearing foundation, he believes that it is just colored dirt (mica) and that it's like putting dirt on my face. He would ask me things like, "have you washed your face you have lots of zits", that was usually after a major pick fest.

I started when I was 14. My dad is a picker too (are these real terms it feels so strange to write about this?)
I was with a friend who picked something , at the time I didnt have anything to pick really but I must have been suseptible to the notion of picking because it became a large part of my life quickly.

I would wear foundation and cover up (that was during the 80's when everyone seemed to wear too much foundation and it wasnt ususual to have a "mask" of makeup on). Anyway that didnt really hide the problem but it hid the reddness at least.

Like others whose posting I have read I am not unattractive and that makes me wonder if there isnt something very self destructive about this. As if on some level I really didnt want anyone to find me attractive?

It was always an ongoing battle where I would hate myself because I picked but it felt so good.

It is only now, in adulthood, I'm 36, that I realize that a lot of times I'm thinking about problems during the day while picking at night.

Sometimes I can go a long time without picking but my skin always still looks pock marked (is there anything that can be done for that?)

The worst - worst than yelling at my husband for being a non-understanding, rude, lout- is that my daughter (who is 1) will sit in the bathtub while I'm picking and she sees me. I hate that.

Perhaps these 2 things can be my motivation?

I dont drink, smoke, do drugs, have affairs (lets see what are the other things people do to cope). But I do pick.

I'm sad now.

Thanks for listening.

[depickpick]

Welcome, you have had pick free periods in your life and you will again. It's hard when it's in your family. But don't let your daughter see you pick. Talk to your Doctor find way's to help yourself. Keep trying to explain it to your husband, you might want to show him some of the web pages to help him understand.

This site may be helpful as well. www.selfinjuriousskinpicking.com/bb/

De

[garretsma]

Wow, this is my first time here...I can't believe it. I thought I was in this alone, but I'm not. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I could not give it a name(or at least did not want to give it a name). I have a 3yr old son who, with this past summer, would pick at his bites. I was so scared that this would continue, but thank god he's stopped. I know he sees me pick. When i put him on the potty I always turn around to the mirror and pick. In fact it's about 5 a.m. and im up after a picking episode. I am so sick of it. I have talked with my doctor, but he never takes me seriously. Things that I,ve tried that seem to work temporarily are cutting my nails down to the skin, and a cheaper version of proactive, that seems to work effectively,AcneFree. I get it at the local grocerey store for about $18.00. There are three bottles in it.

[anonymousartist]

Hi garretsma,

Nope, you're definitely not alone. A lot of people (including myself) pick when very tired, so no wonder you're doing it late at night. It's best to get sleep when you need it, because staying up picking isn't doing any good.

It sucks that your doctor doesn't take you seriously. A lot of them have no idea how to treat this. It's best to find someone with experience with the disorder, I would think.

Just talking on the boards helped me a lot, as I used to zone out and spend hours picking. I still pick, but I don't get stuck in the mirror very often, and it doesn't control my life. You will probably find the posts on this board helpful, though activity has died down in the past few months and the moderator is absent, so I started a new baord just like this one for people to converse at: skinpicking.proboards77.com/index.cgi . I hope you'll join and keep posting. It really does help