New to the boards, long time picker, please read?

[Ben]

hey, i know this board is filled with people of the same problem, but i think i might deal with it better with personal responses to the questions that I, and others, have.

first off i would like to say that i have recognized this as a problem in my life. i have been picking for about a year, which is about as long as i've had pimples. i'm 18. over the year, the location of the pimples have moved. initially they were only on and around the nose, then they were on the forehead and eyebrows, then under the chin, then the cheeks, then the sideburn area. now they are all over, with daily resurfacing zits in the middle of my cheeks. these are different than regular ones, and a skin therapist once told me it was from overexpossure to my hands (touching my face). whatever the cause of all these, my skin isnt getting any better, and despite me using skin care products more than daily, i dont think i am doing too well.

i just want to stop picking my face.

you all know the urge -
you are sitting in a chair, with your head rested against your hand on a desk, when suddenly your fingers find a large bump on your chin.
you feel around and tell yourself not to pick, but the temptation is so great

question one: why is there so much satisfaction in popping "the big one"?

always after popping that one, or picking at it and having it not pop, i cant help but to move on.
then i have to look in a mirror

and soon enough, i'm going at my face like it was bubble wrap, popping things that arent even zits.

my main concern now is that in a few years i will have scars on my face, bad scars. i have a few now and its making me miserable.

i've been doing my own plans to try and stop, but the most i've ever made it is a few days without picking. and on top of that i feel worse because i'm not accomplishing my goals, and i'm breaking promises to myself.

i live a mostly happy life, i am an optimist, i am intelligent, i am very introverted and constantly analyze my situation and the world around me, but i'm not a loner. i have many friends and am active in clubs and such. I have bad ADHD, and i think of myself as very different from other people. i'm not normal, i'm better.

i am always trying to improve myself and become the best i can be in every way, but i can only focus on a few things at a time, and more recently it has been face picking. i am at a roadblock here because i cannot solve this problem, so i ask your help. i believe that if i have a support group, or at least people that are counting on me, then i will be more likely to stop.

please please give me some starting advice, and i will be in touch on this board often.

-Ben

[reflection]

Hey Ben,

Welcome! I know how u feel and not only the picking, but how the feeling when breaking a goal.
Please dont be too strict on urself. I often am but lately I have gradually decreased my picking. I never thought this was possible- either I pick untill I look horrible or I dont pick at all. U sound like a perfectionist urself. Dont let picking get u down, although I know it does to us all. Lately I have been writing down how I feel every time I pick. This helps because then I am aware of when I pick. I used to think I picked randomly but now I have found out that I do it when I am stressed or pressured.

Try writing.

1.when where how who
2.Mood
3. What u were thinking, images


Do this after picking or if u can when u have an urge to porspone it or resist it.

When I noticed that I pick I try to go cover my forehead with a scarf.
Also try holding ice cubes as tight as u cna in ur hands.
It also helps alot covering all mirrors if u like to pick infront of them.

Good luck
Reflection

[Hecate]

Hi Ben,welcome to the group.I'm new here, too & already feel bether just knowing that I'm not alone with this problem.Zero tolerance works for me.I stay away from the mirror & try not to touch my face.I'm becoming more conscious of what triggers my picking & I've noticed that when I'm tired it's more likely to happen.So many times I've said to myself I'll pick at just this one & ended up in front of the mirror for hours.Now I understand that one is too many & thousand is never enough.When I end up picking I try not to beat myself up about it cause it actually makes it worst.I can't stop without help from others that are like me,sharing about it helps me a lot & knowing that you understand what I'm going through. Keep posting & be strong.We can beat this together.

[Mary Ann]

Hi Ben,


You are wise to be concerned about scars. I am old and started picking when I was a teen, I am very scard and have had a lot of plastic surgery to try to fix scars only to make new ones, My sons are your age and know how picking has destroyed my LIFE and robed me of happiness. My advice to you is get help what ever it takes theropy, meds what ever it takes dont let it ruin your young successful life son it will effect you socially professionally and consume your every thought every day if you let it. Good Luck

[AmyLou]

I am also a picker and I know exactly how you feel. I have been picking my face for 7 years now. At first I had some acne..but now the only acne I have comes up because i have picked a previous pimple. Overall, I do not have bad skin..just when I decide to pick every little imperfection on my face..thinking that it will make everything better..but it never does. UHHH It is just so frustrating because every day I am like okay today I am going to quit. But I heard that turning out the lights or not going where there is a mirror will def help me because that is where i do all of my picking. I also do it when i am bored..so i think trying to keep myself busy will also help. I just don't understand how I can get so much pleasure out of picking my face..not realizing the scars and pain I experience afterwards..even though i do it time and time again.

[Marsha]

Try reading my newest remedy on the Tips for Quitting message board re. greasy ointment containing Vitamin E.

I have been picking for 10 years. There IS hope, believe me!!!

My sense is that picking is a compulsion and relieves anxiety

Marsha

[princesscelexa]

since you are young, i don't know if they will do it but see if your doctor (or go to a dermatologist) and ask him/her for retin-a. now, you have to be careful with this stuff, because you can definitely use too much and burn your skin (it just looks all red and chapped and the top layer of skin starts peeling off--not scabs, but it's gross. more like dandruff on your face) but it seriously worked wonders for me. it gets rid of all the tiny blockages in pores and if you start to get a pimple, just put some on it and it will be gone the next day. you can just get a weak solution like .05% and use it once a night or every other night and get a nice peel-off mask to use once a week. i am almost a 100% ex-picker (i have a long long long years long story with picking at wounds which i haven't gone into) but i am fascinated to see this board. i had heard of trichotillomania (sp) (which i also did a little, but kind of lost interest in it quickly) so i was fairly sure that what i did was a disorder, but i couldn't find information on it anywhere. hopefully i will have some information that is useful to someone.

[rene]

VERY good responses from all of you to Ben, and all ages, too, I did as a teen, early 20's and now in my 40's, I have moved from face to scalp and it HURTS, I try astringent, if it burns - it must help?
But, I 100% agree with Marsha, anxiety, nervous gesture, I suffer from anxiety and "there I go", or when stress.
BTW, it is still hard to hear from mom "stop or you will be scared", or "stop that, that's horrible", or the best yet "it's a sin to deform what God gave you", we need support, not guilt!
BEN, btw, you sound like a very intelligent, got it together teen and alot of that acne will go away and there is wonderful stuff dermatologists have come out with, inc. permanent stuff (I seen on my nephew, at your age and now he is in his 30's) - yah, I'm a YOUNG Aunt!
I too am a NEWBIE and glad a friend found this room for me (if I can learn it)!