|
|
Post by reflection on Sept 2, 2004 13:42:07 GMT -5
i really need help everything possible is going wrong-
i wanna stop i wanna look pretty without these marks- i wanna use time wiht the ones i love and i dont wanna hurt them- but the next day i do it- i dont care, well i do care- i care a lot- but not at that moment- cos then i ignore the consequences- i want to, be i dont wanna stop- what i wanna do the most is wake up with NO memory of all these things- just stop wanting to- i wanna stop but i do not TRY- Am i willing to?
I was wondering does therapy help? Has anyone stopped after it? what does it take? And wat do they talk about? Should i call a phcsycologist? I kn ow one, who knows my family. would u recomend that? I just have to stop, but im scared of failing- up to nknwo i guess i havnt tried- cos if i really really tried i should be able to stop- will therapy help or is it me? My mom thinks it doesnt- its me- i am hte only one who can do anythign- i do not take their help, so y should i from therapy? wats ur experience??
reflection
|
|
|
|
Post by anonymousartist on Sept 2, 2004 21:07:28 GMT -5
Therapy will be you, helping yourself, not taking someone else's help. Since you are considering it, why not try it? If it turns out to be a waste of time then you try a new therapist or you stop.
People have recovered from this. I've lessened it a lot and I have faith I will stop. It's just not something we can will ourselves to do one day and suddenly be stopped (or else we wouldn't even be here). It's something we have to work though. Don't be scared of failing. I think anything that's worth doing is going to be a little scary. Can you ever really fail if you just keep trying anyway?
This has to be more than just a character flaw that is our fault that we could just make go away. We do it for reasons. We don't know all the reasons yet or what effects each person, but we didn't used to know that about depression and a lot of other illnesses. Hell, we used to not know that germs caused the common cold. The research just isn't there to say what it is or how to help fix it yet. But there's no reason to think that we can't, right?
Don't pressure yourself to think that if you just tried harder you wouldn't be messed up. That's a real put down on yourself, and look at how many normal people do this? People who post on these boards have got to be only a portion of people with this problem.
You say you want to look pretty. Do these marks really make you unpretty? Maybe there's something deeper there that makes you feel that way? I realized I think a lot about beauty issues when I pick. I'll bet you already are pretty. Our standards really are abit fucked up. Models like Tyra Banks admit that they're totally touched up with make-up and then of course airbrushed. They're also under perfect lighting. They're hiding any feelings that don't relate to the work they're doing. We're not supposed to be that perfect! Anyone who seems to be probably has like a million other problems (I know this girl that guys just fall for. She seems so confident. Underneath I bet she is really insecure and I know for a fact she has bowel problems that make her sick. I'd rather have bad skin!! I mean, yeah, she's pretty...but does it equal happiness? Also if you look at some other countries the women who are considered beautiful are almost ugly by American standards. Stop pressuring yourself and just be the best damn girl you can be in the state you are in! Changing things is different from dreaming of the results, it really is. So go ahead and change things, but be happy and free for who you are. You only get one body and you have every right to cherish it.
Oh, and you can talk about anything with a psychologist. That's the whole point.
|
|
|
|
Post by SleeplessInTucson on Sept 3, 2004 23:09:04 GMT -5
Reflection,
I think you are SOOOOO ahead of the game by even thinking about therapy!!! For years and years and years I have thought it was about acne...totally in denial that it was about me!!!!!!!
I think you should try therapy. Nothing to lose at all by trying it. I think you mom may not appreciate how hard it really is. I don't think we are lazy.... I think there is something haywire, either in our thinking or in our wiring that causes us to do this. AND YES, WE CAN FIX IT! But we may need someone to guide us.
This board has done a great deal for me...just to feel no alone. That yes, there may be some underlying cause, but yes, I can find strength to stop.
Hey! I've not mentioned this before...but I had two babies without any pain meds! I've not met many typical women who can say that. That was ME who decided to forgo meds. (for many reasons) and ME that made it through two labors without caving in. So our minds are VERY strong.
Ask your mom....heheheheheehe
Good luck!!!!! I know you can do it...as I said, you are already accepting your role in the problem.
Sleepless
|
|
|
|
Post by reflection on Sept 5, 2004 7:45:49 GMT -5
hey,
thank you for both of your replies. I have made an appointement. Good luck to you
reflection
|
|
|
|
Post by Estelle on Oct 1, 2004 20:08:06 GMT -5
I'm sorry to be pessimistic...it is good to get therapy...but honestly it hasn't helped my picking AT ALL. I have been through all kinds of therapy for so long and sometimes through therapy hospital programs as well. I am on disability for Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizoaffective Disorder, OCD and Major Depression so I don't have a choice about therapy and meds. I've been through so much therapy and I take meds regularly...it hasn't made a difference with the picking and that's the most important thing to me to fix. I hope you have better luck than me.
|
|
|
|
Post by soxgirl on Oct 2, 2004 22:24:24 GMT -5
Reflection-
IT HELPS!!!
Therapy was amazing for me. I learned the scientific reasons why I pick which made me feel normal and not like a freak for the first time ever.,
Also my counselor and i concentrated on positive coping methods for my stress. we focused on meditation, positive outlets for anxiety, working through anxiety attacks etc.
I cant afford it now. But when I have some money you can bet I am going to go back. Its an investment in yourself!!
The key is to find someone who has some familiarity with it. If you go for a session and the counselor isnt total up to speed and comforting about the picking go to someone else!!!
Best of luck to you. Finding the reasons behind why you pick and looking for positive replacements for that stress is best done with a therapist. You can succeed!
|
|
|
|
Post by meindc on Oct 3, 2004 23:03:59 GMT -5
I think going to therapy is a good idea. From what I've read, you want to find a psychologist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and knows HRT - habit reversal training.
In the meantime, try starting a journal. Keep a record of the times you pick and the emotions and circumstances surrounding those occurences. You might start to see a pattern and recognize things for yourself.
Also, study relaxation techniques and incorporate them into your daily life. Pilates, taking baths, aromatherapy. It's not just about stopping a negative - it's about starting positives - taking care of you!
And finally, spend some time - maybe a few minutes here and there - visualizing what your life would be like if you didn't pick your skin. What you would do when your hand felt that zit - what you would tell yourself. Visualize success.
|
|
|
|
Post by R on Oct 8, 2004 17:07:13 GMT -5
HEY, Thanx for the advice. This is reflection under R by the way I have improved so much since I started therapy which was a week ago or soemthing- i think i can do this- i have only picked a few times- n those times where in stress situations related to school- n also relaxing more helps; now i need my sleep- thats relaxing atleast n i wont pick  thanx for advice reflection |
|
|
|
Post by anonymousartist on Oct 9, 2004 20:37:37 GMT -5
Good to hear you are doing better.
I need some relaxation myself.
|
|
