Is this what you all have?

[Kate1186]

Since I was a toddler, I've been unconciously pealing off the skin on my lips. Not the just dead skin, but the healthy skin too, so that my lips are always bleeding, raw and bruised. It gets worse when I'm stressed or depressed, including in my sleep. I'll wake up with blood covering my pillow.

When I started getting acne in middle school, I began picking that, despite all the warnings not to and I absolutely hate myself for it. I constantly pick at my skin with my finger nails - pealing off skin and scabs, popping pimples, scratching, etc. I try not to because I know people think it's gross and I want my skin to clear up, but I don't think about it. If I try not to and really focus on not picking, I get this horribly craving and need to pick until I just can't stand it anymore and absolutely have to.

When I go to the bathroom and there's a mirror, I usually get stuck in front of it for a long time, even when I'm in a rush, picking at my face, upper back and chest.

I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and ADD, so maybe it's just part of one of those or maybe I'm just stupid. But it would be really nice if there were other people like me. Thanks for your time.

Kate

[anonymousartist]

Yep, sounds about right. You're not alone. This behavior seems to manifest in different ways and a lot of us have different combinations of things we pick (I'm mostly my face, arms, body, but I was just picking my lips a second ago, though I don't consider that part a big problem for myself).

Keep posting with us. Discussing it really helps.

[jen]

Hi there you sound very similar to me!! LAst year I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder, I was diagnosed with ADHD about 5 years ago. I have a chronic case of CSP ( compulsie skin picking) It is worse than I could even begin to explain (check out my other note on this site to find out) but was windering if you want to start a 21 day pick free kick the habit cycke with me.

Love to hear from you
Jen

[Maryu ann]

do you mean no picking at ALL now theres a differance betwen popping and digging I know I cannot see something that I'm sure will come out and just leave it there I kNOW I cant , but if I could stop the rearching for something and using tools to dig it out I would be a happy camper. I want to do it with you but on my terms
haha is that cheating?

[anonymousartist]

mary ann,

I don't use tools (much) but I grab for compact mirrors in the bathroom so I can see what I'm doing (the big mirrors aren't close enough). Try this trick: hide the tools. It's not threatening because you're not going to throw them out and panic when you realize you want them back. You're just going to move them out of their normal place, so next time you pick, you can't grab them by habit. This way it's not threatening. You're not depriving yourself. But, the mechanism that helps you break your habit is that when you want your tools, you have to decide to go get them, and you have to decide to use them. You have to put them back where you got them as soon as you are done, if you do pick. Eventually, it may become habit to get them from their new hiding spot, so the trick is to move them again before you start a new habit. (think I'm gonna go put some tape over my compacts I use for make-up and hide the others in the closet today. it really helped last time I did this.)

[Me]

Yeah. It is extremely similar.

I just wanted to put my two cents in before I actually join the board...


I believe 100% that face picking is genetic...
When I was really really really young...Like 4, 5 years old, I would pick my nose ALL the time, when no one was directly around me. I remember not wanting anyone to see me do it.
Then, I kicked that habit around age 9, and instead I would chew my fingers and fingernails until they bled. My father always smacked my hand away from my mouth, but I always managed to get the job done.
Around the time I was 13 or 14, I was feeling completely depressed, and I remember I felt like a freak and it must have been because of my fingers. I developed this sense that I *always* smelled horribly. I would put all sorts of deodorant on, and take 2 hour long showers, but then step out and feel like a skunk. So I avoided people like the plaugue and was extremely self concious and paranoid what others thought of me.
Those feelings went away when I was 17 and I became more social. I felt more accepted since I began partying and getting into weed and drinking.
Then I tried LSD (acid). I remember my first acid trip. I had a great time, but the first thing I did when I returned to my college dorm room was pick my face to death. It didn't help that I had blacklights on, I really picked at nothing. My face was NEVER broken out, ever.

So from that point on, I picked my skin without thinking of it...Until a couple years ago. People started to make comments, and I began feeling inadequate again, just different than everyone else. I have controlled the problem to the point that makeup covers about 95% of everything I've done, and since I am so fair skinned scarring is not YET noticeable. I have found that, for myself, having a skin routine that addresses acnegenic issues has helped much, because now that I understand what I do (and I do understand what triggers me to pick), I have been able to stop the obnoxious 'all for nothing' picking. Instead I've only picked at a few pimples over the last 6 months that were bugging me. It is still a struggle though.

But that is my story, and I wanted to assure you...Yes, that is what I have.

[steph]

Hi! i am so in need of help. i am constantly picking at my skin. i don't even think about it, even when i tell myself to stop, i can't seem to. within thirty seconds, if not less, my hands are picking at my face, scalp again. i sometimes have to literally sit on my hands to stop. it's driving me bonkers. i take twenty mg's. of paxil daily and for some reason it seems to be worse now than it was before the medicine. although all of my other symptoms of anxiety have lessened. it just doesn't seem to work well for ocd. i just read the twenty one day cure and i am all for it. i considered hanging a towel over my bathroom mirror, because it seems as though i have to literally be reminded every time not to do it, almost like i am a little child. i feel better knowing i am not alone and i thank you for sharing!

[lonely]

I just threw my mirrors away and my boyfriend has my eyebrow tweezers so I find it more of an effort to pick but sometimes I just can't resist and go find a mirror or something to pick with.

[yikes]

Yes, this is what we all, and you, have. For me, viewing it as OCD has helped more than anything. The urge we feel to pick is what they call an OCD brain "spike". One of the first steps in healing is to become conscious of ALL picking (many of us have unconscious picking going on). I tune in that I am having an urge (spike), and my inner dialog is: "This is an OCD urge...I don't have to complete the urge" (you can ignore the spike) (This is a lot of inner dialog and can be shortened to "This is OCD" or "ZT" (zero tolerance). Or do something else in response to the spike, such as making a fist, pulling your hand away, squeezing a hand exercise ball, worry stones, whatever. The other thing is you have to know your "danger times". For me they are with my morning paper and coffee, while being stalled in traffic, when I first get into bed at night. Knowing you're in a danger event-zone puts you on extra alert. Using these techniques, my skin is finally healing, but it takes time...this reprogramming process. It has been over a period of months that I have found these techniques finally reprogramming my mind. I also just try to keep my hands off my skin, period (no "exploring"). I also have been in therapy for this, taking Zoloft for the OCD, coming here to learn more from others. I think it takes time and determination, but you can achieve success, so hang in there and try some of the techniques people here mention.

[faith]

Hi, I'm on day one of Jen's 21 day non-picking challenge. I was wondering how everyone is doing on it? Btw, he neosprin idea is awesome!

Faith