scared by what I now know....

[kitkat]

for the longest time i did not want to admit to myself that the fact I am 35 years old and still pick at my "acne" was a problem at all. even sitting here alone and typing this is difficult. but i know it is way out of control and something must be done about this. you see, i say "acne" because most of my acne is self created. if i didnt pick at the blackheads (i think i see, but probably no one else does) everywhere on my body, they probably would not get infected, and then become real pimples.

i am miserable when i look in the mirror, have sex with my husband with my shirt on so he does not see my back or chest or arms. pray know one sees my scalp. and what the hell, put all out on the table, on my butt cheeks as well, in grown hairs on my bikini line. its summer and very hot here in the southern part of the states and i am out in 90+ degree heat with long sleeves and long pants to hide the shameful condition of my skin.

i long to be able to be cool, wear cute summer clothes, a backless gown when i go out clubbing. feel like other women and be able to go swimming - in public in a real bathing suit. to put on make - up and not cringe because it just dont cover enough.

i knew this was a problem. i have a degree in psychology, but the "thats not me" rationale got me. only to figure out years later it is. the posts i have read here for three days now have given me the courage to admit i have a serious issue here. i felt a kinship with your experiences and shed tears knowing i am not alone. swallowed up at how i was going to overcome this.

my husband caught me the other day, and was unconsciously sitting on the couch picking at my back and he asked what was i doing. he knows, but lovingly says nothing, just accepts.

thanks for this board, thanks for reading, this is the first time i have acknowleged this, now i hope to find a way out.

metta,
katherine

[girl1818]

welcome
the first step, as with anything, is admitting that you have a problem. Thus, you already took the most couragous step of all. Now, with our support...you can get ready to kick it in it's butt. We will help you all that we can...post anytime you feel the need.

Also, i dont know if you're ready for this yet...but what the heck...a bunch of us are trying to go for 21 days without picking. Me, along with i think 3 other people started today...although the rest of the group is a few days ahead. Feel free to join...after all, you can only fail if you don't try. anything else is just practice

[kitkat]

ok, I am game...but I have already picked today...
start tomorrow???

what are some of the techniques you use to not pick?

[skigirl]

Hi Kitkat

I'm also 35 and can totally relate to the husband issues. The hiding, and picking at myself unconsciously in front of him. Sometimes I'll go into the bathroom and he's pulling out an ingrown hair and I'll practically gag. But His is normal, "maintenance" picking. Just the thing people do when there's a skin issue that needs taking care of. But nowhere near the extreme I go to, for hours and hours sometimes. I already picked today also, but not too bad, so I'll start with you. I already told someone else that yesterday, but I need to just keep trying. And I'll give myself credit for the 23 hours and 45 minutes that I left my skin alone. So you're in the south? I'm in Oregon. It gets hot here, but I'll bet where you're from it's humid too. I lived in San Antonio for a short time and my skin was never worse than when down there. I broke out something fierce, mostly I think because I wasn't used to it. It gets hot here too, but the hotter the drier, so at least there's that. Well, good luck to us. Hope we can be wearing summer clothes by the end of a week!

[kitkat]

ski girl - I live here in oklahoma and it is real humid here, but I have lived here for years and i am kind of used to it, if i could wear normal, summer clothes it would not be so bad. if i didnt pick i would only get maybe the occasional zit that pops up during my period. but right now my skin is so bad its going to take more than a week for it to heal up. i am thinking maybe two.

I know TEXT can beat this, i want too much to be able to live as a normal person to not beat this...

i know everyone on this wonderful board can...
*****here's to us and summer skin****
i have a calendar to mark my days already...

[bd8300]

hey kitkat, you've already admitted to your problem and are prepared to get rid of it (calendar, getting a partner). N/e ways 2 week is not too long and will go by really quick if u just keep yourself occupied all day and everyday. Slip ups usually lead to other slip-ups so try your hardest to stay in control b/c ultimatly you and only you can control this. Take care of yourslef, all the best and i'm here if u need me. We will overcome this together.

Lisa