Guy with lifelong pick issues

[eface]

I've been doing this forever. All on the top of my head, so it's covered by hair, but I avoid going for a haircut because I'm afraid of what the person cutting my hair might say.

I also can't stop. I've tried, I've prayed, I've tried doing alternate behaviors like closing a fist for a minute (which works sometimes). It's like going to another world where just the pick exists and the pick is what determines my success in life.

By the way, I've been to stoppicking.com and haven't been able to get into the site at all. How do you get in? I'd rather not log in, since my email is used by someone else.

I have no illusions that anyone here can help me, but writing it, saying it, helps a little I guess.

[sos]

Hey eface,

We all share your pain.... :-[I have good times and bad times and right now is a bad time, I don't think it's been this bad in years...I'm healing now but it will take months for the red marks to go away...I feel like if I don't stop picking it's going to wind up killing me...so I'm more determined now to stop for good and just pick up another habit that won't kill or depress me...just keep trying and hold tight it's got to stop for us, we deserve for this self inflicted pain to stop!!!!!!!
Peace,
sos

[eface]

Thanks, sos. This is so very difficult, because I don't feel I can tell anyone about it. I used to have alcohol and drug problems and have been in recovery and have neither drank nor drugged for a long time. Funny (well, not really) ... I can talk about those things, but not about this, even to those I'm closest to.

Your response helped. Knowing people are there and that I'm not alone helped. -thx

[Me2]

Hi eface,
I am on stoppicking.com. You have to have a credit card to join it, otherwise you will only be able to read the articles. I think its about $30. per month. Try getting another email-just for private stuff. I've been quite happy with my free yahoo account.

I hope that you will join this forum and become a member. Writing does help, but you would be surprised how much we can help eachother. We offer eachother advice and support. This is especially helpful for people like us who have such a difficult time talking to others about this problem.

I thought that your description of the experience of picking as another world, etcetera, was eloquent and accurate. I know there is an awful lot of estrogen on this board (and that can be daunting ;D) but maybe we can help you find a few more ways to escape "Planet Pick".

Take care, eface.

Fay

[skigirl]

Hey dude!

The more posts you read, the more you'll see that indeed many of us have had and recovered from other addiction issues, with picking being the only remaining one. It has felt easier for most of us to admit to any and every variety of other behavior, alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorder, but the one thing we all have in common is the resistance to talking about the picking issue; except, of course, with the others on this board. Glad to have you. Welcome to the judgement-free world.

Skigirl

[anonymousartist]

Hi, eface!

writing can definitely help, with any problem, I find. I think as you participate more and more in the board you will definitely feel less alone (people are pretty real here) and you'll start to feel more like you are out with your problem.

Oh and screw haircuts. Long hair on guys is Sexay!

[eface]

I want to thank you guys (or ladies) for all your kind words. Why is it I can talk about alcoholism or drug addiction but not this? Somehow there's more shame in this. I do not think I can do 'stop picking.com' if there's a credit card attached to it, since my wife pays that and I cannot talk to her about this - tho she's terrific. I'm a lucky guy to have her. So for now, I'm just going to post here. One thing that's helped me in these other areas (especially drugs - I've been clean 10 years) is seeing how much I have and knowing 'it's not about having what I want, but rather about wanting what I have.' Thanks...

[Me2]

Hi eface,
On your credit card bill, stoppicking.com is listed as Psychtech. I don't know if that will help or not. At some point you may be able to talk to your wife about this. I personally don't go into great detail about it with my partner, but he knows about my struggles. The important thing to him is that I am trying to help myself. He wants me to be happy, which i'm sure, is what your wife wants.
You are right about the shame factor. I think its because there isn't anything else to blame, such as peer pressure, tobacco companies etc... The shame is also in the privacy, secrecy and need to sneak around. Of course we feel shame. We have to lie and pretend every day. And I think this makes us all lonely too. When our loved ones ask how we are, we are forced to say that we are fine...and then we get to listen to all of their problems, which they are free to be open and honest about. Another major shame factor is our inability to control ourselves. Isn't choice, and higher decision making what makes the human mind? And yet, many of us have very little control over something that seems so simple.

I guess I'm rambling. I get alittle manic when I haven't picked very much-and if you've read the daily plan thread, on the support board, you'll see that Ive been doing quite well .

For now, try talking to someone objective. Go to a psychologist. Also, you may find it helpful to go to a dermatlogist. I've never been, but I know how itchy a picked scalp can get, and maybe they can give you something soothing to help you out.

By the way, it is free to become a member of this board, if you're into that.

Take care,

Fay