Needing Freedom

[Amanda]

I feel that picking at my face, back, and breasts has made me feel very lonely, and has caused outsiders to judge me severely. Some call me nervious and some say I'm a perfectionist. I think I started picking more when I saw a boyfriend picking, and actually making a "ahh" sound of relief. People since then have told me I'm distracted from my education by him. Thankyou for some advise on making promises to god on quitting and also letting me not feel alone with taking medicine for anxiety. I take Respridol which helps me feel organized so I don't waste too much time cleaning out my pores and also I go to class and work in Customer Service at a department store. A teacher said that if I'm hard on myself then I'm hard on everybody else. I mostly pick at night , the other day I found me picking at my nose when it was dirty and had makeup, so Ive saught out this support group. Someone I know said to me that when she picks, she drives herself crazy. That stoppes me. I also think what started me mutilating myself is that I had a boyfriend that in his past cut at his arms. I encourage that anyone that wants to start dating should go to the right places. I can't stand picking anymore and I realize after visiting this support group that its probably contributed to me not getting close to people and made me feel out of control in other ways. " The body works as a system." I feel closer to recovery, thankyou.

Amanda