God's domain

[jo]

Hi, my picking history has been long (about 18 yrs) and very constant (at least once or two 'sessions' a day and often 'grazing' throughout if I'm in a bad patch).
Up until now nothing has worked for me. What is working is applying the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous to my skin picking. I've found myself waking up in the morning reminding myself that I am a compulsive skin-picker and that my life has become unmanagable. If I am a compulsive skin picker that means I can't afford the first pick (my equivalent of an alcoholic's first drink). But what has worked the best for me, (and I don't know where I got it from - divine inspiration?) is telling myself when I feel the urge to touch my skin that my skin is God's domain, my skin is now God's business and I have no business going there. And my golly it's working! It is the only thing in 18 years of stuggle that has worked. And it's NOT HARD!? It's truly a miracle. The urge still comes but all I do is remind myself and then it passes, easily. Occaisionally I have picked a little but I just remind myself and 'hand over' responsibility for my skin back to God again. Who would have thought that by letting go of being responsible for my skin that I would find recovery!

What joy!
A recovering picker ;D

[Lucy]

You know, I was actually thinking of the AA thing and how you can apply it to skin picking. I have been picking all my life and I think I will try it. I hope it works for me as it has for you!!!
Congrats babe,
Lucy

[Lucy]

Okay, now I have been looking the steps over and maybe I'm just stupid, but I don't get what step 3 or 5 really mean.
3- made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood him.
5- admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our problems.
Could someone help me with this. I really want to try. Anything to finally be okay with the way I look and stop picking.

[tryingtoquit]

Jo,

You have helped me much!

I have a little sign in my bathroom that says something to the effect that God will handle my skin, my skin is not my business, and I will not harm myself out of love. My skin will take care of itself.

I'm not 100% pick-free but it is helping for sure.

[anon,irresp.]

thank you jo

this is the first time i saw your post

i will try it and hope it helps

how is your progress?

[Iceman]

That's great advice Jo. I've been trying that same approach of giving my problem to God and trusting he will provide a way out. I believe God created me and i don't think it was to spend my life picking. There's got to be something more and there's got to be a life outside of picking for all of us. That's the one thing that has kept me going in times of severe grief. God gives me hope when i'm hopeless. Of course i used to blame him for everything and hate him for cursing me with this problem. But i've accepted the fact that God did give us a free will, so as hard as it is we must take responsibility for our choices. Fortunately the Bible does say that God loves us just as we are without exception. Therefore i think we need to strive to love ourselves and love our bodies just as we are without exception.

I often look back and say, man, i wish i could be my old self b/c it sure was good. I took my life for granted and i took my skin for granted. Instead of loving who i was and being happy living in my skin, i had poor self-image b/c of some acne and slowly fell into this damaging CSP. I think the key is to not let the imperfections rule our lives. Of course i find it difficult to even follow my own advice but i hope it can inspire others.

I know the mention of God can ignite such debate but this self-destructive behavior forces you to many a crossroads and much deep thought which can ultimately lead to the question of whether you think your life has a purpose or not and if so, what is it and where does it come from??

[tryingtoquit]

Well said, Iceman.

[Iceman]

Here's a Bible verse that keeps coming back to me over the years especially when i feel hopeless in defeating this problem. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

[lmarie0126]

Hello everyone. I was on the sight yesterday, and I just wanted to thank you for suggesting saying something to yourself about God. I said to myself last night, repeatedly, I am in in God's hands. Maybe saying that this body belongs to God, it is not mine to destroy. I find myself getting sucked into the picking when no one else is around, stressed, tired, under the weather. Anyhow, I tried it. After repeatedly saying it every time I looked and thought just one more, it worked. I shut off the lights and went to bed. I need to come up with something to say which will remind me that this body is God's temple, and it is under his protection, and to honor that. Thanks again for these wonderful suggestions.

[M]

Driving home from work one day, I was depressed about my life, job, skin picking, body, etc., (a year or two before, I had become much more spiritual, discovering God's closeness, and trying to live my life as the blessing he meant it to be, but had recently gone into a slump) and suddenly the words, "SEE THE PERFECTION" came to me very loudly! Just those three words have helped me to changing my whole life around. Three years later, I am down 50 pounds, love my job, have started excercising (Pilates), have a consistant facial regimin that I follow pretty faithfully, which has helped my face tremendously, and I looked into Color Analysis, which helped me to focus on something other than my face (See my post, "Something New to Get Obsessed about" in the "Tips for Quitting" category). Those three words, "SEE THE PERFECTION!" have always stayed with me, and I think about them often when I start focussing on all the perceived imperfections in my life and others'. Try it, you will start to discover that God really created everything just perfect for you, it's up to you to find the "gift" in it all and "open" it to bring you to your next level of heavenly blessings!! The more "gifts" you "open," the more you will find, and the clearer you will see the world as God does. You will find that the more you look for the "gifts," the more will come into focus for you.

Another thing I have learned is that we either have thoughts and perform actions based on LOVE or FEAR. If we think and do things out of love, the consequences will usually bring you and others positive responses/reactions, which will cause a chain reaction toward positive consequences. However, if we think and act out of fear, this will most often lead to more fear and negative consequences and a chain reaction of more of the same. When we pick our skin/faces, we are most likely acting out of fear. That is the first thing we need to recognize!! This is not an act of love brought on by loving thoughts!! Then we have to decide what it is we are afraid of!! Is it that my face isn't smooth? My face is dirty? Everyone is looking at my imperfections? I'm afraid of my pores being filled with oil, it might look bad? I'm afraid that I can't deal with the pain of this pimple, so if I pop it, it will go away faster? PEOPLE!!! Isn't this what we're afraid of? And when you put it this way, doesn't it sound easier to put into perspective? This are all irrational fears!! Because we all know that our skin/faces would be better off if we didn't touch it and treat it with love, but we aren't facing the fact that we are afraid!! We say, we don't know why we're doing it . . . that we can't control it . . . . . . We don't say, "I am afraid, therefore I pick!" I think the answer lies in us determining the exact "thing" that we are afraid of, looking at that fear rationally, and then coming up with a new truth for yourself!! Example . . .

Before: "I notice that I have all of this stuff in my pores. I am afraid that if I don't get it all out, my face will be bumpy, it might keep getting worse, and people will notice that I don't have perfect skin. Because I notice it and think about it, I think they will pay attention to it too and think bad things about me and focus on my bumps instead of the "whole" me!"

After: "I have been perfectly crafted by God. Imperfections are only perceived, due to fears that I have about myself. I am not my perceived imperfections, I was choosing to "be" that . . . but now, I choose to "be" what God sees . . . and reveal that to others. I choose to SEE THE PERFECTION!! That stuff in my pores is oil that helps keep my skin soft and healthy. Pimples are my skin's (God's) way of protecting me from worse infections, by my white blood cells isolating bacteria and pushing it back out of my skin. It is ALL part of God's perfect plan. I must not interupt that process, but, instead, be thankful and feel wonderfully blessed that this system is working so perfectly!! I will continue to look at it with awe and bless it with soft touches and healthy cleansers and lotions, as well as giving it fresh air to breath."

Okay, I still have my down times with my face, but even after writing that, I feel so inspired! Find your own affirmations/truths and repeat them, write them down, post them in places, carry them with you. You will retrain your thoughts!! You will move through your fears and into love, or as I like to look at it catch more and more glimpses of heaven : )

Good Luck!!!

P. S. I hope I wasn't sounding too "preachy." I tend to ramble when I get excited. I apologize if I did. : \

[Kat]

it's worth a try, i'm just not sure what the goddess will think of a body like mine!

(yeah, different religeon, same idea!)

[M]

I imagine the Goddess would see your body as a transparent window through which you, as one with the Goddess, have the ability to radiate the most loving light. Blemishes, as insignificantly obstructive as water droplets on a window . . . If you can't clearly imagine this, consider thoughts of washing your "window" or maybe even dusting it stroke by stroke and watch . . . as your view clears, the light inside your window begins to blend with the light that's already there on the outside, creating an even brighter light for you and those around you!! Day by day, imagine cleaning the layers of dirt/dust, working toward your goal of clarity and free-flowing love (happiness, helpfulness, prosperity, etc.) inward and outward!!

: ) I know you weren't really asking, but, I just thought this might help as something to meditate on . . .

[Face]

I read the original post and sat and cried, feeling hope, rather than shame regarding picking for the first time in decades. I have been in Recovery (Narcotics Anonymous) for over ten years and cannot believe I didn't think of applying the 12 Steps to picking - that's how ashamed I was, more than with drugs. Each day I have prayed to not have a drug or drink (or, in my case, cigarette) and, along with applying the rest of the Steps, going to meetings, having a sponsor, etc., it has worked. I've been clean (10 years on Wed. 4/14/04). I believe this will work. Also: I was taught in these rooms that God loves me, as I am. Realizing that it is stress and thinking badly of myself (I come from a violent home where I was treated with contempt - but that was a long time ago) is a big help. Reading these posts (God's domain! Yes!!) has been a gift!

[Wookie]

Thank you all SO much for your posts. I've been a face picker for about six or seven years now and I have never successfully stopped picking my face for more than a week in that time. I've asked God to help me over and over again, but as someone already stated, God gives us the power to choose, our own free will. While I've tried choosing to quit and deciding not to pick or squeeze my face, I have failed almost everytime. I've realized that conquering this problem will take more than just my weak human resolve. Check out this scripture from Romans 7:15-25. It's slightly lengthy, but I believe it directly relates to my skin-picking issue. It says:

"What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary (speaking more specifically about sin, here). But I need something MORE! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight n God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."


Reading this scripture and thinking about the other previous posts reminds me that I am unable to stop picking my face on my own. I can join support groups. I can pray for God to take my acne away. But until I trust God with my problem and trust Him to come up with a solution, nothing is going to get better. Thank you all for your posts and for your insight and wisdom. I'm looking forward to trusting God's word about who I am (Psalms 139 says that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made-that includes my face and my skin) and trusting that He will take my helplessness and take care of my problem. Thanks again everyone. Hope to read more from you all.

Wookie

[sioned]

when I'm having one of my periodic "maybe I should just end it all now" crises, a verse that often helps me is Deuteronomy 33:27

"The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms"

That means there's a limit to how far I can fall - and He'll always catch me.