Post by Stef (Incubabe) on Aug 18, 2003 22:41:08 GMT -5
This is for anyone and everyone who is ready to stop. Even if you aren't ready, this will at least motivate you to cut down I'm sure. It's a long one so get a sandwich and a Big Gulp and get comfy.
Let me start out by saying that this site is the best thing ever. If I hadn't found this site I wouldn't have had the strength to try to stop or to tell my best friend. This site and all the people here have been the best motivations. Some of you have stories of picking your whole lives. Frankly, that scared me. I thought "What if that's me." What if 20 years down the road Im still plauged by this because I didnt stop when I had the chance. So, I took the chance. I realized that Im too young to be throwing my life away by concealing myself and hiding out because what I do to myself makes me not want to be around anyone. I realized that since Im so young, my skin can heal. Maybe not completely but enough. I dont think I would want it to heal completely. Those little reminders are what keeps me from picking. Seeing the scars that 4 years of picking have made. Scar upon scar upon scar. But anyway, enough of that. I was fortunate enough to have the best friend in the world. His support has helped me tremendously. Im really lucky to have him and I love him so much. He's the best ever!
Okay...onward. I've been working on this since I vowed to stop on Aug 1st. Its what I've written to try to help you all. It's how I've gone about trying to stop. I havent completely stopped. But I feel I've improved so much that it was time to post this. So, without further ado.
The most important thing is, you need to be ready. I've been picking for some 4 years. It's been the most depressing, and sad 4 years of my life. I knew it was time to stop. I was ready.
You don't exactly have to have yourself ready physically. Just in the general, mental standpoint of wanting to stop. The urges to pick don't go away, you just have to work on being strong and fighting them.
Don't put yourself in the mindset that you are going to stop the urges to pick. It won't happen. You just have to be ready to face yourself and beat the urges.
I suggest having a strong support. A friend, or family member who you know will really pull for you. Luckily I have my best friend. Having someone close to you, supporting you, makes all the difference.
Ask that support to have you make a promise. Promise them you will not pick. It sounds extreme, but if this person is someone you really care for, you will want to keep this promise at all costs.
Once you've made your promise, breaking the habit and fighting the urges begins.
If you know the one place you usually pick, avoid it. Im talking about a place in your house, or car, etc. Most of us pick in the bathroom. The mirror, and the perfect light that illuminates every pore. The bathroom isn't a place you can avoid. There comes a time when you just need to use the bathroom. It happens to the best of us. Instead of putting up something over the mirror try keeping your hands away. This changes you and your habits rather than changing the surroundings to work around you. So, keep your hands behind your back. Hold them there. Keep back from the mirror. Dont inspect. Take a deep breath to calm the urge. And so about your business, keeping your hands far from your skin. You can even put your hands outstretched in front of you. This way you can see them and know they arent feeling around your skin.
If you hide in your room to pick, only go in your room to sleep. The urge is so strong, but after that first day of keeping your hand from picking, you can't help but feel good.
Now and then you might give in to an urge. Limit yourself, or stop yourself all together. Use all the will power you have to stop yourself. After you start to see the healing process, it will make it all the more easy to keep your hands off.
I suggest washing your face with a cloth rather than with your hands. That way you won't feel anything that you would want to pick.
It can get really hard and frustrating as well. Especially during the most stressful times. You need to take extra care. If you find you picked a little, dont punish yourself. Thats useless and only makes you feel worse. Congratulate yourself on the fact that you picked minimally and stopped, and that you've come so far. The fact that you can take your hands away after you realize that you are picking is huge. Every day is a huge step and dont let a day go by without congratulating yourself.
I will only suggest topical meds. Scar diminishers and facial cleansers. Mederma is my all time fave. Apply this stuff even while you are trying to stop. The more healing that happens, the more you will like it and the more it will motivate you to stop. Be carefule with lotions though. Especially ones that you know tend to lead to break outs.
Once you cut down drastically on the picking, you will notice that you think about picking less. The thought may come to you out of the blue but fades. You will invlove yourself more because you will have a new confidence. Hold onto this feeling and thrive on it. Remember how good it feels when you dont pick. You need to pull everything from inside of you and all that negative engery you have against picking, and use it in your battle.
I want to say to ignore the spots you pick, but if you can confront them, it will be easier later. Once you feel ready, you can examine the areas you usually pick. But dont pick. Its a test. If you make it through and dont pick even though you see things you want to pick, you will feel awesome. You will feel the greatness of the accomplishment.
To road to recovery is a long one. I'm still on it. I'm a little over 2 weeks into my own "program" and I think Im doing great. My self-esteem is up. My spirits are high. Its great. I have had a few bad moments recently, but compared to the hundreds of picks I would do a night, the mere 10 or so is nothing. I feel soo good and I wanted to share all this with you.
If you believe you can stop, you can. Its your battle and no one else can fight it for you. You need to take control, put your foot down, and work on being stronger from within. Everything else will work itself out. This is beatable. I will prove that. And I know all of you will too!
Let me start out by saying that this site is the best thing ever. If I hadn't found this site I wouldn't have had the strength to try to stop or to tell my best friend. This site and all the people here have been the best motivations. Some of you have stories of picking your whole lives. Frankly, that scared me. I thought "What if that's me." What if 20 years down the road Im still plauged by this because I didnt stop when I had the chance. So, I took the chance. I realized that Im too young to be throwing my life away by concealing myself and hiding out because what I do to myself makes me not want to be around anyone. I realized that since Im so young, my skin can heal. Maybe not completely but enough. I dont think I would want it to heal completely. Those little reminders are what keeps me from picking. Seeing the scars that 4 years of picking have made. Scar upon scar upon scar. But anyway, enough of that. I was fortunate enough to have the best friend in the world. His support has helped me tremendously. Im really lucky to have him and I love him so much. He's the best ever!
Okay...onward. I've been working on this since I vowed to stop on Aug 1st. Its what I've written to try to help you all. It's how I've gone about trying to stop. I havent completely stopped. But I feel I've improved so much that it was time to post this. So, without further ado.
The most important thing is, you need to be ready. I've been picking for some 4 years. It's been the most depressing, and sad 4 years of my life. I knew it was time to stop. I was ready.
You don't exactly have to have yourself ready physically. Just in the general, mental standpoint of wanting to stop. The urges to pick don't go away, you just have to work on being strong and fighting them.
Don't put yourself in the mindset that you are going to stop the urges to pick. It won't happen. You just have to be ready to face yourself and beat the urges.
I suggest having a strong support. A friend, or family member who you know will really pull for you. Luckily I have my best friend. Having someone close to you, supporting you, makes all the difference.
Ask that support to have you make a promise. Promise them you will not pick. It sounds extreme, but if this person is someone you really care for, you will want to keep this promise at all costs.
Once you've made your promise, breaking the habit and fighting the urges begins.
If you know the one place you usually pick, avoid it. Im talking about a place in your house, or car, etc. Most of us pick in the bathroom. The mirror, and the perfect light that illuminates every pore. The bathroom isn't a place you can avoid. There comes a time when you just need to use the bathroom. It happens to the best of us. Instead of putting up something over the mirror try keeping your hands away. This changes you and your habits rather than changing the surroundings to work around you. So, keep your hands behind your back. Hold them there. Keep back from the mirror. Dont inspect. Take a deep breath to calm the urge. And so about your business, keeping your hands far from your skin. You can even put your hands outstretched in front of you. This way you can see them and know they arent feeling around your skin.
If you hide in your room to pick, only go in your room to sleep. The urge is so strong, but after that first day of keeping your hand from picking, you can't help but feel good.
Now and then you might give in to an urge. Limit yourself, or stop yourself all together. Use all the will power you have to stop yourself. After you start to see the healing process, it will make it all the more easy to keep your hands off.
I suggest washing your face with a cloth rather than with your hands. That way you won't feel anything that you would want to pick.
It can get really hard and frustrating as well. Especially during the most stressful times. You need to take extra care. If you find you picked a little, dont punish yourself. Thats useless and only makes you feel worse. Congratulate yourself on the fact that you picked minimally and stopped, and that you've come so far. The fact that you can take your hands away after you realize that you are picking is huge. Every day is a huge step and dont let a day go by without congratulating yourself.
I will only suggest topical meds. Scar diminishers and facial cleansers. Mederma is my all time fave. Apply this stuff even while you are trying to stop. The more healing that happens, the more you will like it and the more it will motivate you to stop. Be carefule with lotions though. Especially ones that you know tend to lead to break outs.
Once you cut down drastically on the picking, you will notice that you think about picking less. The thought may come to you out of the blue but fades. You will invlove yourself more because you will have a new confidence. Hold onto this feeling and thrive on it. Remember how good it feels when you dont pick. You need to pull everything from inside of you and all that negative engery you have against picking, and use it in your battle.
I want to say to ignore the spots you pick, but if you can confront them, it will be easier later. Once you feel ready, you can examine the areas you usually pick. But dont pick. Its a test. If you make it through and dont pick even though you see things you want to pick, you will feel awesome. You will feel the greatness of the accomplishment.
To road to recovery is a long one. I'm still on it. I'm a little over 2 weeks into my own "program" and I think Im doing great. My self-esteem is up. My spirits are high. Its great. I have had a few bad moments recently, but compared to the hundreds of picks I would do a night, the mere 10 or so is nothing. I feel soo good and I wanted to share all this with you.
If you believe you can stop, you can. Its your battle and no one else can fight it for you. You need to take control, put your foot down, and work on being stronger from within. Everything else will work itself out. This is beatable. I will prove that. And I know all of you will too!
I only picked at my skin 3 times today. Once on my face and twice on my arm. Seriously you have helped me. I really think I'm ready to try to stop. While reading your posts, I felt uplifted and that I could do this and that I can be beautiful and my scars might fade. I really want to be "normal" in my own way and feel good about myself. Thanks again girl. We will get through this. 
I am going to print out what you wrote so when I need it, I will have it to read.