Lou's ZT journal

[louisio]

OK. I have had enough. Ive had enough of crying and screaming at myself in the mirror. Ive had enough of pretending to be happy to everyone else whilst secretly i can't stand myself or my life. I am sick and tired of all of this. I'm fed up of creams/mosturisers/lotions/tweezers/pins/blood/scabs and most of all scars. Im fed up fed up fed up. Its all so boring. And all so heartbreaking. I have ruined the last 2 years of my life and i refuse to ruin any more.
I have tried ZT in the past but failed because of "maintenance picking" which always then turns into worse. The situation is getting stupid. I pick at my bikini line and legs. I hate showering cos i hate seeing my lower body. it is scarred and ugly. I am fed up of being alone, but i would never let anyone see the damage ive created. So i am going to make another big big big effort to ZT. PLease support me. I need help, i am so weak. I refuse to look, to touch, to pick. It starts here....i pray it will not stop here and that i can beat this stupid stupid disorder. Thanks for reading this and for being here,

Lou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[running2stndstill]

Hi Lou,

Welcome. I'm sorry for the pain and crap- I think most of us here are familiar with the cyclical nature of this beast.

Best of luck and support to you,

K

[louisio]

well, i am on day 2 of zt, although i guess technically its zt with exceptions. i have sortof picked with my fingers, but i think, so long as i am not using tweezers or pins, it is generally an improvement. I am feeling positive.