Today is the first day of the rest of my life

[Shasbat]

I am going to start a journal... from this moment on I am going to try an break a habit that I have had on and off for 40 years, more on than off.

As I type my arms are covered in scabs, my bum is sore from the marks and picking, my legs are covered, my eyebrows have several scabs in them. I want RID of it, I want to be able to wear nice clothes in summer with my arms and legs not covered up.

My worst times are: in bed before I sleep, i start to pick.... sat on the toilet I pick at my legs...... looking in mirror I touch my eyebrows and pick and then when I am driving if nobody can see i start when queuing in traffic.

Nobody knows what it is, people think I have some sort of skin condition. I am on PROZAC for depression and that doesn't help this, I have tried creams and oils... no good. It is pure will power and concentration that will get me over this huge hurdle.
Does anyone want to start with me on this journey to recovery??? I am SO ashamed and disgusted with myself.

It is now early evening where I live and tonight I will really try not to touch my skin. I will let you know how I have got on tomorrow.

Thank you.

[reflection]

Good luck and welcome to the board Shasbat. ;D
You will be fine! You can get through this!
Reflection

[Shasbat]

Morning,

Well last night I could not sleep, so did crosswords until I felt tired. Several times i started to scratch at the top of my arm, it is weird how i don't even know I am doing it.
Managed to stop myself and concentrate on the crosswords, just scratched a couple of tops off. Which believe me is better than normal.

Wearing long sleeves and trousers today, got a 50th birthday tonight and these are the times when I hate myself. Wish I could wear a lovely sleeveless top.