My first ZT!

[Me2]

Hi everyone!
Thanks to everyone's love and support, I have fianally been able to formulate a potentialy effective ZT plan for myself. Thank you with all my heart .

So, here's my plan guys!
1. Get up and immediately put on clothes.
2. Enter bathroom, pee etc... Take pills (ortho tricyclin birth control, GABA Pentin, Celexa). Exit bathroom!
3. Eat Breakfast. An egg or 1/2 cup of yogurt and 1 cup of oatmeal. No more than 1 cup of coffee and light cream.
4. Enter bathroom to shower... Put on robe immediately after shower. Put in contact lenses.
5. Apply "Acnomel" (adult medicated acne vanishing cream) to every little blemish I can see on my face, chest, and ass .
6. Spray on homemade toner- to the above mentioned areas. ("Tetley" honey lemon ginseng green tea, brewed in one cup of water for 10 minutes. Make fresh every 3-4 days.) do not towel off or rinse.
7. Spray on homade "Tend Skin" to legs. Tend Skin recipe: 1) Crush 18 tablets of uncoated aspirin 2) Dissolve these in 5.5 oz of 70% rubbing alcohol 3) Crush 8 tablets of uncoated aspirin 4) Dissolve these in 2.5 oz of witch hazel 5) Combine the rubbing alcohol and witch hazel solutions. Some settling of aspirin may occur, just shake it well before you use it.. Wash Hands.
8. Apply vitamin E cream to arms (for scarring ).
9. Do hair, minimal makeup-no concealer!
10. Exit bathroom, remove robe, dress immediately!
11. Admire, listen to music.
12. Go for a long walk every day. 40-60 minutes.
13. Eat protien for lunch, veggies and protein for dinner. Looking for desert? have a bite of yogurt, lay off the sweets and breads.
14. Appreciate your successes.

So, its one o'clock in the afternoon an I am pick free. I feel clean...but I'm pretty edgy. Time for my walk.

Take care kids; I'll let you know how this goes.

Fay

[anonymousartist]

That looks like a good plan to keep you busy and keep you going. I love your last step! (And I might try your recipes too).

Good luck. You're doing great so far.

[Me2]

Thanks Anonymousartist!
Its 6:30 where I am and I haven't picked. Still a bit jittery though. I'm going for another walk-this time with a friend, by the lake....Nice .
I found the Tend Skin recipe on a bikini wax rash site-if you can believe that. My skin feels good where I used it, slightly exfoliated, not dry or red.

later,

Fay

[Me2]

Hi everyone,
I made it and now I am working on day two! Its 9:00 in the morning and I've done all the stuff on the plan. Aaarrgh! What to do now? I am not working right now, and I don't have kids, so I am basically devoting myself to a happy home. I planted a kitchen garden in pots on my deck yesterday. That was great but I need to get some more dirt. I guess that is my next project. Then, at 11:30, I am having some stitches removed at the doctor's. After that, I have piles of house work that I can do. I'm feeling a bit manic though and I can totally see myself going a bit crazy today with cleaning. Better than picking though, as long as I don't work myself up into a panic about dirt etc...
I'll post later if I need to calm down.

Fay

[Me2]

Hey guys,
I'm now working on day three! It's 10:46am (and counting-uhg. I'm very urgeful this morning. I caught myself doing mindless bump scratching and it was a struggle to stop. I think I was uptight because I had a job interview today. It went well, but I can't believe I was trying to impress somebody for a minimum wage job. I'm 26 years old! That ought to be over by now...

Yesterday was good. My friend phoned and suggested we go on a mini road-trip to this place called fletcher falls. The falls were awesome and the beach was even better. I wore a low-cut tank top and got my first sunburn of the year.

I haven't told anyone about my ZT efforts. I'm afraid that it will be spoiled by telling. However, I wonder how long is long enough before I can tell my friends and family?

Today isn't as manic and frenzied as the first two days were. I actually feel a tinge of sadness and lethargy-but its not attached to any specific thing or event. However, I have lots to do including finish plantng my herbs, housework, and possibly beginning that math course I've been dreading.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Fay

[anonymousartist]

Sounds like you're doing great. Keep trying and keeping yourself busy with fun activities! (reminds me, i need to do some of that).

[Me2]

So...
I'm on day one again. I had 3 and a half days. Yesterday ws a stressful, uncertain one. I got that job I interviewed for the other day. It was at a Shell gas station. I felt very heavy and conflicted about the job even before I started. I wasn't sure why until yesterday morning before my first shift. I don't feel good about selling tobbaco products... Uhg. I went to my first shift anyway, hoping it wouldn't be a big deal for me. It was okay at first. There were a lot of things to learn-which I like. Then, some people that I care about, from my former job came in. One of them I had previously given shit for starting smoking again. He came to Shell to buy gas and cigarettes. I'm not against people having their habits or having the odd party cigarette...But I really dislike the industry and the targeting of people. My boss kept wanting me to try to "upsell" the smokes and tell customers that it was less expensive when they bought more packs of cigs. I came home upset and unsure of myself, wondering if I was just being flakey. My brother has begun smoking again and I wish he would quit. So, my boyfriend and I discussed and we decided that I should quit the job. I have to return my uniform today. I told the boss why I was quitting and he didn't say much...But he might when I see him today.

Anyway, feeling yucky like that, not just for selling the smokes, but for giving up a job, and for wasting the time of avery nice employer, I couldn't control my "behaviour". I kept saying to myself "okay, that's enough...you're almost done...how long have you been in here doing this...stop...i wish the phone would ring..." I spent about an hour at it, wrecking much of the progress I made in the first 3 days.

Today is much better. I am determined to be happy today. I am applying for some other jobs, and I look good. I did all of the things in my plan this morning. I think that today will be a good one. I'm hoping to get some exercise later with my boyfriend, who is taking the day off.

I hope everyone is doing very well. Has anyone else ever quit a job on principle? Do you think I'm flakey?

Take care kids,

Fay

[Me2]

Hey guys,
Well would you believe I'm on day one again? I know now that I can't deviate from my schedule. Each day that I allow something to interfere, I regress. I'm very happy to be having some success though, and it helps me to let go of some of the shame that comes with picking. At least I'm trying, right? Its not like I wasn't trying before, but now its not just the struggle, it actually involves a plan. I wake up in the morning saying "I am determined to have a perfect day." Perfect now means a positive, sunny demeaner, without picking. Perfection no longer refers to my skin. There is no such thing as skin with no sebum or blocked pores. BUT there is such a thing as having a day with a hundred percent no picking-and that, my friends is a perfect score. Even if you feel totally crazy during it.

Wish me luck!

Fay