Anyone for a finger/cuticle ZT buddy?

[OboeThumb]

Hi -- I'm new to ZT, though not really new to this site. I really want to try ZT. Looks like there are a lot of threads on this board, so I'm not sure if starting a new one is the greatest idea, but I'd really like to find a ZT buddy -- like peculiarpetunia did ::waves::. Especially one who's got the same specific problem as me: finger and cuticle picking.

I'm 34, female, and live in the Midwest. Right now I'm an at-home mom but I do some music on the side. I also want to write a book or maybe become a teacher sometime in the near future, maybe this fall when my child starts kindergarten. I've been picking at my fingers (especially thumb) for maybe 20 years, and it's gotten worse lately.

So, anyone (or 2) there who wants to join me? Anyone just know how to get started on ZT? Much appreciated,
OT

[obnoxa]

Hi Oboe,
I read your post a few days ago and after heavy internal debate...I'm in. I'm a picker of many areas: face, back, upper arms, chest, thighs, pretty much anywhere I can reach . The worst place for me is my fingers, I tear my hands to complete shreds. Because my fingers are so easily accessible I do it non-stop, and it's impossible to hide so I get hit with questions and comments about the state of my hands all the time. It's also my safety blanket, of all the things to stop picking the idea of not picking my fingers is by far the scariest, but that's how we win the battle right?
I've been coming here for a few years now but have never been brave enough to try ZT, I guess it seems to overwhelming but I'm gonna go ZT with my hands and I think a partner would be a great idea. This can be a first ZT post! I'm 27, I live in central Ontario (Canada), I'm in sales, no kids but a cat, bird, fish and a 5 month old niece that I adore! My fingers are the first place I really started 'picking' regularly, I was about six.
Although I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack at the idea this is me saying no more.
And that's it, we've started ZT! From what I can gather we check in daily (or within reason to our schedule) vent, talk, compare whatever it is we need to do!

[OboeThumb]

Wow, hi, obnoxa! Thank you so much for responding! Sorry it took me a few days to reply... I'm a bit of a computer novice, so I didn't find the right check box to be notified of responses till today. Hope you're still up for this, and thank you for signing on with me. I know how it feels to be scared to give up something that's been a stress reliever for so long, even when doing it causes pain. But something has to be done! We're going ZT! ::cheers::

Hooray for pets! They're great, and I"m glad that you have them. I have a cat and he's such a good buddy (and stress reliever!). Sometimes I wonder if it's easier for a person to have pets than a family...

Well, here's my check-in for today: I'm going to have to go with band-aids today if I want to go ZT. What I've found helpful is to notice whenever I even touch my thumb or fingers to check for unevenness. The idea is to stop myself from even touching the hangnails or scabs. It takes me a lot of awareness to notice the first time my fingers go looking for chances to pick. But one day (Sunday) it really did work. Problem is, last night I was in a terrible mood and had kind of an argument with my hubby. Then I found myself picking at my fingers again. My thumb looks kind of like it has elephantitis or something, it's all callused and swollen, and I"ve lost the knuckle-wrinkles in that area from picking. I have also picked my face and lips and heels.

I think maybe the bad mood had a lot to do with skipping vitamins. I heard that it's the B-vitamins that help with mood, but in any case I've noticed a big difference when I take the One a Day Women's multivitamin. I hope this helps.

Other things that help me when I give them a chance:
-Exercise (to burn off that extra nervous energy)
-Knitting or other hand work
-Music (Do you play anything?)
-a Worry-stone next to my bed to rub
-Cooking
-Cleaning (with disposable latex gloves on)
-Tweezerman cuticle clippers (got this idea on this site)
-Pumice stone
-Fake nails (only helps somewhat)
-meditation (I"m a beginner at this)

I'd love to hear of anything that helps you. And from now on I plan to post every day. Hope to hear from you soon!

OT

[OboeThumb]

I'm not doing real hot on ZT. I wrote down all the solutions I posted before (can't print them because printer is out of ink) but tonight I blew it by watching "Friends" without bandaids on my fingers. Right now my thumb hurts whenever I hit the space bar. Back to square one.

[OboeThumb]

Hi again. Here's my check-in...
Well, things went better the last couple of days. I went to the doctor about another skin condition I have (forgot the name of it, it's those painless but annoying little red bumps all over my arms and legs). She prescribed me a lactic acid cream, wish me luck. I also talked to her about my picking. She had given me an eczema cream a long time ago, but I hadn't used it cuz it stings. But I had an idea in her office - that maybe I could cut the fingers off some surgical gloves and wear them over my thumb/fingers to prevent picking. She seemed glad I'd thought of that and gave me a bunch of gloves. Only problem was, they're bright blue! Didn't mind walking around the drugstore with an electric-blue thumb (even when I ran into a girl I used to work with). But in the video store, I was downright embarrassed. I'll have to use the white latex gloves they have at the grocery store.

In other news, I did some chores, cleaned, made dinner today. It felt good. I read a post from one of you (thanks!) that picking comes from an excess of energy, so I figured I'd channel that energy. I'm also trying to stop my emotional eating. I feel like I may become a lot like Monica from "Friends," replacing compulsive eating with compulsive cleaning, but at least with the cleaning I can feel good about what I did. I really don't want to be compulsive about anything - I want my daughter to have everything she deserves from me while she's little.

Well, that's today's check-in. I'll have a ZT day yet. So far I have had an hour here, twenty minutes there. Hope to hear from someone... Good luck all,
OT

[reformedpicker]

Hi OT-
Sounds like you are making progress in your efforts. I can relate to the over cleaning/ turning into Monica issue- My friends actually tease me on occasion and call me Monica- hey it's better than picking and if it's what you need to do to get through the hard times so be it!

Just wanted to let you know your posts are inspiring and helping make an impact on my determination to stop picking. Thanks for sharing your progress!

[OboeThumb]

::big grin::
Thank you, reformedpicker! Your reply really brightened my day! I'm so glad to hear these posts are making a difference.

I'm typing with those blue surgical gloves on, heehee. I just figured before I go on the computer, I'd just better cover up both whole hands, because I tend to pick when I'm waiting for sites to come up!

Thanks for the support, especially on the "Monica" thing. (I would actually kinda like being nicknamed Monica.) This morning I was like the queen of the dishes and also made my husband a biggish breakfast. Something to do for a Sunday morning when the kid wakes up super early.

I'm not done yet... we're considering getting a treadmill, so I want to power-clean the basement, where we'd be putting it, but also where the cat hangs out a lot (hair city! yuk!)

Take care! ::hug::
OT

[Ari]

hey OT
maybe i can combine my ZT with yours, since I am a finger/cuticle picker. I am 15, so still a teenager, but I've been picking for as long as I can remember. I will try to post my progress in here, as well as the ZT journal I am already keeping here. We can do this together!
-Ari

[OboeThumb]

Welcome Ari and thanks! Good for you - I wish I had started kicking the habit at 15. Looking forward to hearing from ya.

[OboeThumb]

OK, here's my check-in for today:
Picked whenever I didn't have bandaids or gloves on, or when I wasn't doing housework. This is because I was anxious about a concert that I didn't want to go to. I ended up getting out of it, but even that was a bit stressful. The deal is, the friend who invited me has been acting really weird lately - seems like she deals out put-downs at or about me every time she sees me - and I really don't want to be around her anymore.

So anyway, I'm grateful for the fact that I did housework and went to the grocery store, and that my little finger isn't swollen any more.

Take care all,
OT

[reformedpicker]

Good for you OT- the last thing you need is to be around 'toxic' friends. It's so easy for people to tell you you don't need that- just drop that friend- but in reality it's harder than that. I have a good friend like that myself- she seems to go through cycles of her actions. Everytime I have had a good time with her, or she's been wonderfully supportive and I trust that positive feeling, it seems like she does something that erases all the good! Anyway, glad you got out of the concert and hope you have a great week!

[raerae]

hiya oboethumb,

i checked the net and you can buy finger gloves aka 'finger cots' in loads of places. it might work out cheaper in the long term to buy in bulk from a medical supplier rather than at the grocery store. and that way you wont be paying for the discarded hand part!

in my youth i was a terrible cuticle picker and nail biter and, although my picking has migrated to other areas since, i still pick the sides of my thumbs sometimes if they get cracked or peel.

as an art student i used clay a lot. and theres nothing like having your hands in cold water all day long to really play merry hell with skin. for me what helped was to make sure the skin never got thickened and callous-y (and prone to cracking, which it tended to do after years of gnawing!) by filing it every other day with an emery board- right down to the softer skin underneath. plus frequent applications of heavy duty moisturiser.

now i find the skin only needs 'maintenence' with the emery board once a week or so. i still use loads of moisturiser but thats cos i cannot bear the feeling of dry hands. seriously, if im really desperate for moisture i spit on my hands rather than suffer the scratchy feeling. im so gross!!!

i hardly get cracking and peeling now, so i rarely gnaw , but if it starts i just file the skin down. and if i dont pick its sorted within a couple of days.

my boyf, tho' not a hardcore picker like me, chews his thumbs a lot and when i can be bothered to nag him to use the emery method i notice a real improvement. just a shame he cant motivate himself to do it without me going on and on... *tut*, men!

anyway, sorry if youve heard it all before, guys. but i thought id post anyway... someone might benefit.

good luck. lots of love, rae xxx

[OboeThumb]

Hello ladies! Sorry I haven't been online for a few days... it started as a reward system: before I go online, I have to exercise. I did exercise one of the days, but never made it online. But I'm glad I've been doing more housework and cooking. Tonight I fixed a kind of complicated dinner and I think it turned out well (even though I had to hold it over for 45 minutes because my hubby went to see his dad after work and didn't tell me he was going to).

Thank you again reformedpicker and raerae for your support! Yes, "toxic" is how I'd describe that friend. I really haven't resolved how to, well, resolve it, though. She and I belong to the same church, and she and her family have belonged there forever and know everyone, so I'm a bit intimidated and I don't go. (also because my hubby doesn't like going to church). And she works at the same company as my hubby, though thankfully it's a big company and he hardly sees her. Well, enough about that. I may talk to the minister.

Raerae, I like you emery board idea and thanks for pointing me to the finger cots. And (kinda unrelated again) Yay art! I bet clay is a lot of fun.

The picking kinda happened today. I'm starting to wonder if I should abandon tools for a while. I think I'm still picking so that I can get a good piece to snip off with those clippers. Is that twisted or what? But the increased activity and the gloves are helping.

Best to all,
OT

[OboeThumb]

My latest check-in, past 2 days:
Last night I showed my husband my thumb, intending for him to see how bad it still is. I said "Look at this." He looked and he said "Hey, it's almost back to normal! Getting better, huh?" That floored me. I took another look at it and had to agree. It's not beautiful, and it still hurts, but it's looking like a thumb again. ;D

How's everyone else? Doing well, I hope?

e-hug,
OT

[reformedpicker]

OT-
I'm so happy that your thumb is looking like a thumb again! I must admit I hesitated before mentioning the clipper because of the risk of it becoming a further antagonist to your healing thumb... PLEASE please please throw it away if that is happening- I feel so horribly guilty and can't forgive myself if I helped make your progress become destructive- I know what you mean about wanting a big thing to clip off- I went through a very brief time of that (like 1-2 days) and MADE myself stop- of course my fingers traveled on over to my face, so now they are in the process of being evicted from that area too...