Laura
Junior Member
"We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa.
Posts: 56
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Post by Laura on Jan 6, 2004 4:55:11 GMT -5
At Christmas I decided I would begin ZT. My face was clear, and I felt great. But then.... I gave up on 2nd Jan.  Not only because I kept lapsing, but because I couldn't deal with my emotions. The compulsive feeling was so strong I felt like I was going insane! The only way I could relieve the feeling was to pick. One pick wasn't enough. Once I started again, I couldn't stop. I picked at anything and everything. Even things that probably weren't even there! My face is totally ugly now. Scabs, whiteheads, red marks, lumps, open sores... I have spent 2 weeks at home. I wouldn't even go grocery shopping with mum. I am lonely and depressed. But I don't want anyone to see me like this. I hate myself. Laura.  |
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Post by Heather on Jan 6, 2004 9:04:43 GMT -5
Oh sweet Laura,
Forgive yourself. You've been punished enough :-)
That the only way we can relieve the anxiety is by picking is a lie our brains tell us. It's true, it totally feels that way, but feelings aren't facts. It seems like the only way to get rid of the urge is to pick, but that's not the case. The less you pick, the weaker the urge becomes. You just have to ride out those ugly feelings and deal with them in other ways.
In any case, if you really are giving up on ZT, that's fine, as long as you don't give up on quitting in general! I have a tremendous amount of faith that everyone here can get over this. Maybe the way you were thinking about ZT was putting too much pressure on you. I'm doing ZT, but I'm taking it very moment-to-moment. If I'm not picking *right now* then I'm successful. I don't evaluate the past because that only puts pressure on me to keep performing up to standard. And I don't think about the future because....well, quitting for good is just too damn hard! But I can always quit for just today.
Maybe my way of thinking about it will work for you, maybe it won't. In any case, there's bound to be SOMETHING that will, so don't give up. We're all here for you.
Love,
Heather
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Post by ···»Fíghtîng Ît Èvë®y Dåy«··· on Jan 7, 2004 2:01:05 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,300]laura honey, don't give up. i also found that i was picking to avoid dealing with my emotions. it is horribly difficult to have to feel those emotions without picking to help you "zone out," but it's a totally necessary part of the healing process as far as i'm concerned. and it doesn't last forever. when you feel an emotion, you can let it go -- instead of not feeling it and hanging on to it forever. if you want to talk by private message, feel free to pm me anytime. since it sounds like you're going through the same stuff as me, i urge you to check out my journal here:[/glow] facepick.proboards6.com/index.cgi?board=ZT&action=display&n=1&thread=2120[glow=purple,2,300]hang in there, sweetie. we're all going through it with you...[/glow] |
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Post by Canuck on Jan 7, 2004 15:27:42 GMT -5
Laura,
Stay tough. ZT is incredibly frustrating. When I did it in October, it was a constant struggle. I felt like I was constantly teetering on the edge...ready to go into the bathroom and rip my skin apart.
I didn't have many 100% successful days, I'll admit. But I had a drastic reduction in picking. And that lessening of the urge to pick is key to getting your picking under control. You don't have to be perfect, but shoot for being perfect and don't beat yourself up if you fail. Because we all fail. Especially with ZT.
It's a gradual thing. Fight through the urges and you'll eventually find you're having less urges. Less urges means less picking and, eventually, you'll start to see your skin improve. Seeing an improvement in your skin is a great motivator and it will push you towards less and less picking.
Best of luck, kiddo! You CAN do it. Take things one day at a time.
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