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Post by anonymousartist on Jun 23, 2006 0:04:24 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I just wanted to invite anyone who might be having trouble posting on this board over to the skin picking recovery board at: skinpicking.proboards77.com/index.cgiThe board is pretty much set up like this one except that new members are able to register and the boards are moderated (the moderator for this board has not checked in in quite some time and some posts do not get responses for months). We have over 50 registered members so far but you do not need to be a member to post on or read the board. I would love to get some more regular members so that people can share a dialog and discuss progress or frustrations but everyone is welcome! The main focus of the skin picking recovery board is a positive attitude toward recovery and improvement. We're not ready to throw in the towel! |
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Post by Ben Danger on Dec 3, 2006 2:45:00 GMT -5
I feel like far too often I find myself trying to change my behavior - i.e. stop picking - and i always end up relapsing.
We look and look for skin care remedies, and tips and tricks to prevent picking, but this is not what is at the heart of the problem.
At the very core of this problem is our DESIRE to pick; we enjoy it.
We want to be able to stop it because it is not socially acceptable,
but in truth, i think many of you would agree with me here:
if picking were socially acceptable, we would be in heaven.
I mean in all honesty, picking makes me feel great.
I enjoy that trance, that zoning out and just squeezing out every last little blob of white stuff.
It is very relaxing, and it DOES temporarily relieve my anxiety.
But picking is not socially acceptable.
Yet we still try to deny our nature and stop this behavior.
Is it possible for a gay man to deny his nature and have sex with women?
Sure, there are gay men in the closet, but they are denying their nature. They want to have sex with guys.
We want to pick.
We want it to be OK for us to pick.
Skin care products and self-affirmations may help you temporarily stop yourself in your tracks, or temporarily make your skin look more presentable, but they will never be able to remove that urge that sneaks up on you when you dont expect it.. that urge that whispers in your ear, "oh man, theres a zit on my chin... I can't wait to pop it!"
and its this same urge that temporarily stuns all of your memories of efforts to stop picking.
So my point is,
At the heart of our picking, is that undeniable desire and enjoyment of skinpicking, and it is as inherent to our nature as a man's preference for big-breasted women, or a woman's distaste for tomatoes, or a person's love for dogs but not cats. You do not always get to choose what you enjoy, it is often a natural tendency.
This may sound like a very pessimistic post, but my purpose for writing it is that I believe... or at least hope... that there is some way to change a person's fundamental desires - perhaps through hypnotherapy, or something. I really don't know. But i believe that science can, and will prevail, and neuroscientista or psychologist will discover some way to change these core preferences.
And the reason I think this is important, is that we need to address the root of the problem in order to solve it.
Otherwise, we are just postponing our relapses.
Any thoughts?
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Post by debdav on Dec 30, 2006 21:31:45 GMT -5
Well, let's see... I picked from about 11:00 last night to about 4:00 this morning. Now (it's Saturday), I just got through picking from about noon until about 3:00....
As I finished up, I came to the realization that I actually DON'T want to stop picking. The only reason I stopped earlier (picking at this huge sore on my nose - which I created), is that I got tired of cleaning up blood, and my nose was running, so I finally got bored (after 4 hours) and did something else.
In fact, when I bleed (I gouge at some really deep hard acne cysts), it is just an INTERRUPTION to me! All I do is impatiently WAIT for my skin to stop bleeding so I can get back to pulling that thing out of my skin, no matter what I have to do to get it out. I even try to cut around it sometimes. I guess I've gotten to the point where my skin is so messed up anyway that it has become just an expendable thing to me.
Since I can't quite cover the latest dime-sized wound on my face, I just try to minimize its unsightliness to spare others looking at me (don’t get me wrong, I am very self-conscious, but it isn’t like I can do anything about it). Then, I go out, and just try to psych myself out that nobody will notice anything.
My husband (bless his heart!) talks to me about replacing one behavior with another. Sounds like it should work, but it hasn't because I DESIRE to get that thing out of my skin, feel it between my nails and see that hole in my skin where it came from; why do I care about replacing the behavior that satisfies my desire?
So, how about a ‘replacement desire’ (as opposed to ‘replacement behavior’)? Here is one: All I want now is to CARE FOR and PROTECT my skin from dirt, trauma, etc. (I think it is safe to say that what I do to myself is pretty bad – I’ve gotten some nasty infections and felt some excruciating pain). By having that desire, the resulting behavior might be to regularly wash and use treatments on my skin. So in effect, I am replacing the behavior, too, but it had to start with replacing the DESIRE.
Easy as that might sound, what if you can’t find another desire strong enough to top the old one? Won't the old desire try to trade off with the new one? My fear is that in moments when my new desire (to care for and protect my skin) isn’t as strong at a given time, the old desire (to, in effect, harm myself) will find its way back in…
Any ideas???
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Post by Max on Jan 6, 2007 1:33:54 GMT -5
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Post by etohehepikav on Apr 15, 2019 19:13:21 GMT -5
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