need support

[maj]

Hi, it's been a while, I've done better. But during Christmas time at home, I had many bad days.
Then I did better again for like 10 days, and then, this is so embarrassing, I picked like 10 places, when I was at a f. disco! Went home, didn't pick that night, but very much the next day. Then stopped for like 3 days.

But now, last night, for almost two hours I picked, (had to cancel skin treatment today, hate myself for that, it wasn't even looking bad or anything) and I KNOW that, it was because of stress over my exam. I had a paper on 29 of December, and I have to turn it in 30. January. So now there is 11-12 days left. !! I'm SO sad now, can't concentrate, and so on, thought I was doing better. But exam seems to get me down, I don't think I can make it and don't think I'm smart enough, but worst is, that I get SO MAD at myself for, actually not doing anything on my paper, I'm about to panic, and now I picked as well, don't know what to do, wish I could escape everything, so pathetic.
And I feel like no one can help me.

Very 'uplifting' letter I know. M
(sorry about my English)
(maybe I should mention that all November I didn't pick,(had skin treatment and I'm seeing a psychologist) so I'm sad that it's going bad now) (picked for like 12 years)

[Dee13]

Hey your cup is half full not empty! You were able to kick picking all of November after 12 years, that is great. We all fall of the path, but you can get back on. You know it was stress that tricked you off the path.

[maj]

yes this one time I know,but what about Christmas, and last time and last time. Stress I know about, and I still do it(pick)! But being obsessed with the state of my skin is something I don't know how to get rid of. I know I have done better, and that is very very good, but right now I just find it hard, looking terrible and not having worked on my paper, freaks me out.

Well, thanks for your answer, hope everyone out there will look for some kind of help, because I know it's to difficult to manage on your own.
Keep fingers crossed for some kind of miracle :-/with my exam.
best of luck to you all.

[Dee13]

Good luck on your exams. If you don't pick in public, is there any way you can study or work on your paper in public?

Sorry don't have any tips for Christmas, I fell of the wagon as well. Maybe we should start a new subject on how to cope with holiday things on the other web page skinpicking.proboards77.com/index.cgi

[Alihh]

Hi

I am still waiting support .........

[Dee13]

I don't check this board much, I do still check the other board.

[faithanne]

hey maj,
been following these boards for a while now, so im
sorry if u have talked about it in a prior post or something, but what do u mean u cancelled skin treatment. what exactly is that?? hope your feeling better!

[elena]

please help me, i just need to talk to somebody i dont have to see the expression of that reads about picking. i recently realized i might hvae ocd for picking, and soon after had my first ever athsma attack, i beleive stress induced. ive told my best friends, and one tries to help me. i dont want to tell my mom or family. i think i had ocd when i was younger, but now its turned into a picking obsession. i scratch and squeeze at everything blemish on my naturally clear skin. i also scratch at my back. i dont want my family to know, and dont know where to go for help. i get extremely stressed and have a lot of anxiety, despite all destressing tips ive tried. i am a perfectionist, easily become obsessed, and i know i am extraordinarily critical of myself. It can count the number of times i have not myself as unattractive, yet according to many others i have a beautiful face. i dont understand how my eyes can decieve me, but apparaently they are. my pickings gotten worse, and i feel extremely unconfident becuase of it. i know i am self destructive, byt it relieves much anxiety to go into the trance like state of picking. i cry myself to sleep becuase i pick and then am repulsed by myself. I am in the middle of my teenage years, but i never have fun, and am completely emotionally screwed up and i know this.

[Dee13]

Elena sorry you are having a hard time. It was very hard for me during my teenage years as well. I think it's because our hormones are going nuts and we have not learned how to deal with our bodies. Keep working on all the things that make you feel better and that build self esteem. Books, tapes, friends and family can often help. Check around your area to see if there any groups that interest you. Getting out an about makes a huge difference. I found yoga very helpful to me. Volunteer work is a great thing to do as well even if you feel shy you know they need your help. At first you may not feel so valuable but as you build your skills you will shine. You can build your self esteem because thats what I did.

[imperfect]

hey elena. i am sorry you are going through this. just like i am sorry that everyone who is in this support group is. but know you are not alone. my picking started during my late teenage years. i know how frustrating it can be to have naturally clear skin and ruin it by anxiety. but luckily, on the surface, given enough time, most things heal. you said you didn't want to tell your mom, but maybe hiding it is just making you more anxious. do you not want her to know because then she won't think you're perfect? well, she'll love you no matter what and if not, then she isn't worth the effort (although that is easier said than actually felt). anyways, i hope you are feeling better right now. mine always seems to go in cycles so maybe you're on one of the ups. that is probably the best time to be proactive about this. you can do it. reach out to your mom or arrange to see a therapist. believe me, life shouldn't have to be this hard.