Yo - I quit!

[skigirl]

Yep, that's right. I'm done. No more pick. What I didn't understand before, and I do now, is that this hasn't ever been about just quitting picking. Because now I'm quitting everything that's not good for me. Bad relationships, anger, anything that's a negative in my life is done, and I'm not devoting any time to it or feeling bad about it. Sure, bad shit will continue to happen, but I've decided to deal with it as soon as it does, get over it, and move on. I'm still going through a divorce and getting pummeled financially. My ex got pretty much anything and everything he either asked for or took. So then I tried to move on, started dating a guy and fell completely, irrationally in love. But he's not ready to produce, can't give me what I need, and I don't have time to try and work on it anyway. So he's going to have to be gone until he can come back and be a positive addition to my life. What does this have to do with picking? Well, it occurred to me how when I would pick I'd be worrying to death about some stupid situation which I had no control over, and the reason I had no control over it was because it always had to do with another person. So instead of trying to get control of the other person, and sitting and picking and figuring out how to do just that, I say I'm going to just control the only person I can - myself. Let the people in my life who want to be here show me that they can bring something to the table - if not, f' em. I know what I can do, what I'm capable of. Taking care of myself and taking care of my kids, and I'm great at it. I guess this attitude maybe sounds a bit bitchy, like I don't care about anyone else and have a low tolerance. But I really do care, it's just that now I acknowledge what I can and can't do something about, and choose to let things go. I've retired from the shit-taking business.

So the only medication I've been on is not an antidepressant, but an antibiotic. I started taking minocycline a few months ago and it does wonders for my skin. I believe that if I continue to leave it alone, I won't cause the acne I had before. My alternate behaviors are journaling, running, yoga, situps, pilates, reading, anything that can steady my mind and my hands. I've discovered that it's true how you can overcome a compulsive behavior in the first 10 minutes. Just by getting through the initial impulse, replacing it with an alternate, positive behavior, really works.

The way I figure it, I didn't just get out of a bad marriage so that I can have shitty skin, and/or attract another negative person. I'm going to get through this more beautiful and stronger. Wish me luck!!!!!!!

[anonymousartist]

That is so good to read! Congratulations, and you know you always have support if it gets rough. It's good to see that you're taking control and getting your life on the right path. It's inspiring

[onedayatatime]

I really like the comment about taking only 10 minutes to quit by finding some other alternative. So positive!!!!

[Dee13]

Skigirl, you go girl It's so weird that we pick on our selves to release the need for control of other things. Dee

[Missy]

That is so great! This is my very first time actually posting a message on here. I'm new and I can't make a post of my own (the site won't let me?) so I can only reply to others posts. It is so encouraging to hear these positive things about improving and overcoming this obsession/bad habit/disorder/whatever it is. I agree with you about overcoming that initial impulse - if you can do that and just replace that sensation within the very first few minutes with something else, I believe one can quit. It takes time...a very gradual improvement (with some relapses) but eventually I hope to get there too! I am going to try to make my way to my computer and this support board when I feel the urge to pick. The two times of the day when I "feel the urge" is when I wake up in the morning right before I get in the shower and also before I go to bed at night right after I have washed my face and done step 1 of the Proactiv solution. I have identified the times I am most prone to pick at my face! Those are actually the only times I really do it other than when I'm "bored" like driving or on the phone, etc (but those times are not that bad). Yay! Sooo....thank you for posting the encouraging comments about quitting - really overcoming that first compulsion to pick. Soooo...I will probably do a post tonight right after I wash my face so I can begin replacing my urge to pick with something else - getting on this computer and using my fingers to TYPE instead of PICK! hmmm....feels good.....hopefully tonight I will have a little bit of success!!!

[Missy Hampton]

So does anyone know how I can actually make a post instead of just replying to posts? I really need to get some things out and I feel bad for just randomly writing things concerning me on other people's posts. I really need to vent!

I'm at work right now and have just been craving to get on here not because I have the urge to pick, it's just because I'm feeling some things right now and they are heavy on my mind. I feel as though if I share them or write them out, it will really help me in my pursuit of overcoming this bad habit of picking. It's almost like journaling (which I try to do on a regular basis - especially about picking).

Anyway, I picked this morning - just lightly for like 5 minutes. I made progress b/c I forced myself to step away from the mirror like 3 times so I could get used to stepping away. After that, I took a shower and was thinking about all these things so I got on this message board. After reading some positive messages, I have decided to get on here when I have the urge to pick. I don't have the urge to pick right now because I am at work, however, I feel my face and the little spots that I picked at. I can smooth my fingers over my skin and not have the urge to pick, but I feel the spots. Little places on the sides of my chin that are a little crusty (eww) and one small spot on my lower right cheek that is sensitive. Other than that, my skin is soft and smooth. I just hate feeling these spots. It's hard to describe how they feel and how they make ME feel, but it's like I can't see them b/c I'm not looking at my face but I feel that they are there. Tonight when I get home, I am taking my makeup off and wrapping Christmas presents. I will wash my face and will probably have the urge to pick, but what I am going to do is lean in to the mirror with my hands behind my back, look at my face, and then go into the next room to try to take my mind off of it. I will overcome the urge. I will not pick.

If anyone knows how I can actually make a post on here, please let me know. Sorry for such the long reply, but I desperately need to get these things out besides talking to my sister (who can't understand) or writing in my diary. I really need positive support and encouragement from others who understand the difficulties.

[Missy Hampton]

I did not pick last night or this morning! I leaned into the mirror tonight, but was very consciously aware of what I was doing and caught myself before I went into that "trance zone". It was like one minute. I took a step back and then I congratulated myself and did a little victory dance in the bathroom! :-) The places on my face are healing up. I hope that my Proactiv Solution comes in the mail pretty soon...I ran out and have just been using my Aveeno cleanser and calming lotion so hopefully the Proactiv will help get my face back to being clear (or at least free from more breakouts and I'll have to work on the "clear" part).

I'm doing good so far. I am prepared b/c I know there will be a few setbacks like this past one that I experienced, but it should improve little by little. The longest I have gone pick-free is 2 1/2 months. Well, this terrible picking habit developed over a period of seven years so it won't go away overnight - I have to work at it! Best of luck to everyone else on here trying to fight this battle!

[Bo]

What fantastic news - congratulations

This is my first time here and reading your post, and of course others, is so encouraging and just what I need to start changing my habits.

I seem to be rather afflicted and amongst other things also suffered from bulimia but just over a year ago I started to pro-actively look at fixing this and succedded. How does this relate to picking??? Well they are so similar, they are both all about compulsion, habit, distraction and other emotional issues. The thing that has just occurred to me is if I can beat that I can beat picking.

But there is one thing I wanted to pick up on (pardon the pun) that others have mentioned as it helped me so much in overcoming bulimia and that is being aware of what you do. THere is a term for it but it escapes my mind. But pay attention to what you are doing, if you get the urge how does it feel? What brought it on? If you resist, how do you feel? If you do pick, what is the sensation when you are doing so? How do you feel afterwards? Don't beat yourself up, but just think through the process and at least with my bulimia it helped me to understand it and therefore get control of it. Before that it was just an emotive compulsion I responded to.

Now I just need to take my own advice, and that of others, and overcome this affliction. But I know I can do it but it is only finding this site and everyone else that I realised that so thank you. And good luck for those still picking and an amazing, heart felt congratulations to those who stopped. It takes strength and bravery to stop this - most people don't realise how hard it is - but we have all taken at least the first step now!!!

Here's to a wonderful non-picking future

[Lindsay Robinson]

It amazes me how much I can relate to your post and all of the responses. I really thought I was alone with this disorder. I would like to be able to post comments too (like Missy) and not just reply to other messages. I hope I am able to figure it out. Stay away from the mirror everyone