Cipramil and CSP?

[blondie88]

hey everyone
I haven't been on for a while, but here goes:

I've got a question - has anyone who's on Cipramil noticed any improvements in their skin-picking? I'm on it for depression/anxiety, and I've also got a few other problems; the CSP, anorexia/bulimia tendancies, social anxiety, body image problems, a few others.

Anyway, I was hoping that my willingness to pick my skin would die down.. (I've been on Cipramil for 3-4 months), but unfortunately it hasn't! In fact, the one thing that I've noticed is that I don't get as angry as I used to after a picking session! And that's awful! Because I feel like picking more and more!!! I get these weird cravings to pick - I never used to have them. Either it's the Cipramil, or I've become incredibly dependant on my CSP. I feel awful. I've got my final school formal in a month, and I end up with new scabs everyday! I sit infront of the mirror for sooo long, and I scream at myself to stop picking, but I can't! Once or twice I've managed to build up some self-control, but every other time I've failed. Miserably. If I hide my tweezers somewhere, then I'll go hunting for them, or in desperation I'll use a nail file, metal ruler, a knife, or ANYTHING possible, which I know is alot worse than just using the end of my tweezers.

And not only this, I've noticed that I've stopped wanting to throw up my food as much. It's the Cipramil - I'm certain of it. I'm actually rather frustrated about it, because I ENJOYED throwing up my food every so often (I never binge eat, but sometimes I feel better if I purge everything), plus I was hoping to lose another 3kg before my formal, but I feel so lazy about it! I can't even be bothered exercising! (I used to be obsessed with exercising before). I want to do it, but something's stopping me from doing it. I don't know why. I wish the same was happening with my CSP. I wish I could sit there, and after a minute or so say to myself: "oh I can't be bothered doing this. better off studying" - like I do if I attempt to throw up my food.

I REALLY think it's the Cipramil. It has calmed me down a bit, I'm not as aggressive as I used to be. I feel very "neutral" - like a shadow. Sometimes I'm moody, but I don't show it. I've stopped showing emotion - other than on my private blog. I've become even more introverted than I was. And another thing - I've lost my "sexual drive" or whatever I had of it anyway, because when my ex-boyfriend kissed me a month ago I didn't feel anything and wanted him to leave. Come to think of it, I haven't had any romantic feelings or whatever in years either. Ah well. It's not that important a matter to me (considering as I have my final school exams in a week), but I'd feel scared telling my doctor, school counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist (the last two I haven't seen for ages).

What should I do?
Please, everyone who is or has ever been on Cipramil - tell me how it was for you!

[anonymousartist]

I haven't been on Cipramil but I took this from: www.depressionet.com.au/treatments/medicns/cipramil.html (it's the first thing that came up in google).

"The side-effects of Cipramil can include dry mouth, drowsiness, sweating, blurred vision, constipation, and difficulty passing urine, although most of these should diminish over time.
A lowered sex drive is also a common side effect of this, as with most antidepressants. If you experience any unusual symptoms or are concerned about side effects in anyway, it is important that you discuss this with your doctor or consult a pharmacist for advice. Usually these will not be anything to worry about, but best to be sure."

I've heard it is very common for people to lose some sex drive while on anti-depressants (I noticed that I did when I was on Prozac). There are some brands that claim to have a low risk of sexual side effects. The point is, there's nothing abnormal about what you are experiencing in that department.

I think it is imperative that you talk to your doctor about what you are experiencing. They may be able to switch your prescription to something that will work better. Also, I think some of what you're experiencing is the medication doing its job, making you want to purge less, not obsessing so much. But without talk therapy, it won't do you so much good because you won't be able to get these things straight in your mind.

I know, personally, that weight loss is difficult. It takes some patience. You can't make a goal for when you will lose it by. You don't have to overwork yourself or obsess with exercise or food. Just take a walk for an hour a day, with some music that you like (portable cd player or mp3 player) or just enjoy some silence. It'll be so good for you to take the time for yourself away from your studies. It's you time, where nothing is more important that you. It'll help even out some of your brain chemicals. It'll give you time to think a little, get some sunlight, and get things a little straighter in your head. If you are up for it, jog too if you feel like. There is a good chance you'll start to lose some weight from this too (possibly gain some muscle and start retaining water at first, so do not pay attention to weight gain. It's not fat). It should make you naturally feel better. That's the best part.

Please talk to your doctor about all of this. A professional can help you figure out if the benefits of the medication are greater than the side effects and help you decide what to do next.

And don't feel guilty about the picking. Even though you seem to be doing it more because you're not as mad about it, maybe you are becoming less emotionally attached to it, and that could turn out to be a good thing (though time and time again people on these boards have said that anti-depressants didn't help their picking and some have reported results from anti-psychotics or even inositol (a vitamin precursor). You have to give yourself time to adjust and remember that the high stress of your exam is doing a job on you (you're using the picking as a coping tool, possibly). No one ever looks good come exam time (I knew people who showed up with their hair unclean, shit I probably did a few times too, and my skin was always a mess).

When you reach out to your doctor, he or she should be willing to listen and help you out. It's ok to be uncomfortable about it, but they shoudl try and make you comfortable and treat you in a professional way. If that turns out not to be the case, find help elsewhere. Meds can only do part of this work for you.

[lexi]

I am new here, but I have to tell you that finding out where this low self esteem is coming from should be the first step! All us are beautiful god doesn't make mistakes thats why everyday when I think I'm going to pick i think about this It helps diffuse the low self image i have made for myself. I'm not saying that i don't slip when I have a bad day but I have been trying this thinking pattern for the last couple of days and I am starting to see some improvement. I always thought I'm to short ,I look to young ,no one respects me ,I don't fit in my nose is to big, I'm not strong enough, I'm not athletic enough and I cant keep putting myself down eventually I am nothing but disfigured body parts and thats not why we are here on earth we are so lucky to be here. Please be strong if we all try a little positive thinking we can beat this!!! lots of hope -Lexi